---WARNING---
This part does deal with things such as drug use and suicide. If this is a triggering topic for you I advise you to not read.
***Aria's POV***
I don't...I don't remember where I am? Or how much I've had to drink? I'm not sure...who is that? I'm holding a drink in my hand. How many have I had? What else did I take?
"Hey baby you coming down?", I heard a voice I didn't recognize.
I looked to my left and saw a girl with long black hair leaned back against a tree. I looked around and saw a bunch of people, and a pool, and I am sitting in a chair. What did she mean coming down?
"Do you need another pick me up?", she held out her hands and through blurry vision I could barely make out the outline of a tiny pill in her hand. Fuck what am I on. "Come on", she stood up and slowly walked towards me. She pulled me out of the chair and I could barely stand up. She put her arm around my waist and we walked into the strangers house. Only it wasn't strange anymore. I recognize where I am now. When I first moved here, I used to party here a lot.
The girl continued to lead me into a different room full of people talking and laughing and I couldn't make out what they were saying. I fell over onto the first open seat on the couch I found and she sat down next to me. I looked down at my drink, why am I here? How did I get here? I can't remember, my brain is too foggy. Fuck this shit. I chugged the rest of whatever I was holding and tried to get up.
"Whoa hold on man", I heard the people in the room mumble, the girl to my left and the guy to my right pulled me back down onto the sofa, "You think she is freaking out?, I heard someone else ask.
"I'm good", I managed to mumble. The room erupted in laughter and the same girl from earlier placed her arm around me. I leaned into her. She smelt good. She gently moved her hands to my chin and tilted my head up facing her. She leaned in and kissed me. At first gently, and soon after harder. I parted my lips and she started moving her tongue against mine. Soon she pulled back from the kiss and I finally understood what she was doing. I felt a tiny pill in my mouth. She must have kissed me to get me to take it. So I swallowed. She saw and smiled. And just after that she pulled me up from the sofa again.
We walked out to the backyard and through a gate leading out to a trail. I still don't really know whats going on. We walk up a hill and stop every few seconds for her to kiss me. We finally make it to the top and she starts talking. I can't hear her. I can see her lips moving. But I can't hear what she is saying. I look around me. It's really dark outside. It gotta be way past midnight by now. There are trees and bushes. And stars. The stars are so pretty. I know this place. I think I'm gonna sit down.
I sit down on the ground and look up at the girl. She begins to bite her lip. And then takes her white tank top off. Wow she is really pretty. She leans down and then gets on top of me. She pushes my shoulders into the ground. She begins to aggressively kiss me. And yea I'm into it. She bites my lip and I let out a moan. I pull at her long black hair. All I can hear is the sound of our heavy breathing and crickets. But, what am I doing here. How did I get here. Her kiss begins to trace my jawline and makes its way to my neck. I begin to caress her bare skin and turn my head to the left, inviting her to...well...suck on my neck to put it bluntly. As I turn my head to the left I open my eyes. A cliff? A familiar cliff...I've been here. The last time I was here...who was I with!?!? Fuck why can't I remember!
"Ahh", I let out another moan. This feels so good. I let my hands explore her body. I can tell she likes it when I feel her smile against my skin. She moves her hands and starts moving lower, "Mmm", I whimper as she takes control again. I don't know if it was the pill but everything feels, so good. Like I am more sensitive to touch. She pulls her face away from the kiss and I finally get a good look at her. She has pale skin and black hair. Like Jet Black hair, just like Jace. Just like...Just like Destery, fuck.
Everything is finally coming back to me. Nate. Destery. Ashley. Suddenly I pull away from the strange girl and I can't help myself from freaking out. Fuck how could I forget. Dammit. All my memories, all the heartache. It's all rushing back into my head. No wonder I got so fucked up. I wanted to forget everything! And I did...for a while.
"Fucking crazy bitch", I see the girl get up and put her top back on.
Crazy? what? I feel my face and it's wet, from tears. I guess I look crazy, one second i'm a crazy lesbian nympho and the next a crybaby. I watched her walk away and then realize how vulnerable I am. I am sitting here. Drugged. Drunk. Alone. In the middle of nowhere. No one knows where I am. Scared. Sad. And that's only the beginning of my problems. No one is going to come find me. Destery hates me. Nate probably hates me now. Ashley doesn't even know who I am. I think I am done. There is no going back now.
I lay down flat on the ground and look up to the sky. Thinking about how small of a part I play in the grand scheme of things. I'll never be good enough. Every decision I have ever made has been a giant mistake. Other people, people I love, suffer because of my existence. My brother, it's my fault he is gone. I look to my left and see the cliff again. A few months ago I came up here. Wanting to jump. But I didn't. Then I brought Destery up here. I don't know what I expected.
I try to get up but my legs wont work. I just need to make it there. I roll onto my stomache and start crawling. I can't do this anymore. I hate this. I hate myself. My body is numb. And I feel myself falling alseep. I have to do this now, before I pass out. I continue to crawl. I start to taste the dust in my mouth but I just keep moving. I can't even see straight. I let out a scream, I just want to fucking die already! Finally my hand reached forward and feels the end of the cliff. This...this is all because of me. I pull my body forward and look over the cliff. Nothing. I can't see anything. Just darkness. What a fitting end. I've led my life in darkness, and now I will be consumed by it. I gather all the strength I have left in my body and move to thrown myself over the ledge.
And then I feel someone grab my legs.
***Destery's POV***
I jumped and reached for her legs.
"LET ME GO!!!", She screams. I grab hold of her legs tighter and pull her away from the ledge. My life was supposed to be simple. It was quiet. And now?
I sit down on the ground and pull her into my arms. She looks up at me and begins to cry.
"I hate you", she screams and hits my chest. Her movement were slow, and sloppy. I could tell she was doing more than just drinking. She stops fighting me and I pick her up. She is really light, and I can feel her bones. She wraps her arms around my neck and lets me carry her down the hill. What was I going to do when we got back to the car? Does she need to go to the hospital? Should I take her to her apartment? Should she crash at my place tonight? I guess I'll figure it out as I go.
We make it to the bottom of the hill and I let her down. I open the car door and get her in the passengers seat. I shut the door and see her eyes follow me as I walk to my side of the car. I get in and am about to start the car. Just then I feel her hands against my arm. She crawls over to my side of the car and sits on top of me. Our faces inches apart. Her breath reeks of Alcohol. She moves her hand to my face and leans in.
"Stop", I said, pushing her away.
"This is what you want though right? You save me and now I thank you", she said pulling herself. closer to me.
"No, not really", I said, pushing her away again.
"So what you don't want me anymore? Not just a little bit?", She moves her hand through my hair and bites her lower lip.
" Just grow up a little bit and think about what you're doing right now!?", I snap, "Get back on your own side of the car.
She looks up, and I can see that I hurt her. But she eventually crawls back onto her own side of the car. I continue to turn on the car and drive. I knew she was going to be here. When she brought me here a couple weeks ago, I had a bad feeling that it wouldn't be the last time we met there, and I was right. I look over to see her sleeping, and make sure she is still breathing. She looks so peaceful, and so innocent. I stop at a red light and examine her a little more. God she is beautiful. I think about what might've happened if I hadn't gotten there when I did. I get the chills just thinking about it.
The light turns green and I keep driving. I guess I am driving back to my place. Every part of me just wants to hold her. To tell her that everything was going to be okay and that I will always be here for her. But, the thing is, everything isn't going to be okay. At the sight of any trouble she goes out and does this. She can't face reality, but was about to permanently escape it. She is selfish, and crazy and just not the right people to be around. But I don't care. All I want is to be near her.
We finally arrive at my place and I can see the light on in Nate's room. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her here. Fuck it. I get out of the car and then get her out too. She is still sleeping so I have to carry her in. I sneak in as quietly as I can and walk to my room. I place her on the bed. I was going to crash on the couch but I don't think I am going to be able to sleep soon at all. So instead I walk over to my desk to start editing my latest video and check my twitter feed. Wth? It's going crazy! Everyone is asking me the same thing, "What's Nate talking about?", "Is he talking about you?!", "DES! You have to answer us!". What are they even talking about? I go to Nate's twitter and my stomache flips.
"'Lovers have a right to betray you... friends don't.' - Judy Holliday"
Well Fuck.