Cedric gasped and nearly kicked me. "What? What's wrong?" he exclaimed in a panicked voice.
I didn't answer. I couldn't. The flashes of white. The voices. The whippings. I remembered them clearly. It was impossible to forget.
"Aelia, what's wrong?" Cedric repeated, this time grabbing my shoulder.
I couldn't fight against the tears. I couldn't breathe either. I gulped in air, panicked for my life. I was going to faint. Going to die. I couldn't get enough air. I raised a hand to my chest, as if to signal to Cedric that I couldn't breathe.
"Aelia, breathe," Cedric commanded, taking hold of my hand.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it as though he was my lifeline. I was getting lightheaded.
"Breathe. Take deep breaths. In....out...in...out...good, Aelia. Again," I heard Cedric instructed.
I had good enough sense to follow his orders. I needed to breathe.
In... out... in... out...
"Better?" Cedric asked, his eyes searching my body.
I nodded, as that was all I could do. His hand was still entwined with mine, and I gripped it tighter. My breath was getting steadier, but every few seconds I sucked in a large one.
"You're alright, you're fine," Cedric said again. I wished he'd stop saying that. I needed to focus on something else. My eyes darted around the barn. The mess of hay on the floor. The rippling water from the raindrops that kept falling.
The flashes of white and people screaming.
My breath began to race again, but I quickly sucked in a slow breath. My body was now shaking uncontrollably. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop shaking. I was losing control of my body and that thought only panicked me more.
In... out... in.... out...
"Bad dream, huh?" Cedric said, breathing a short chuckle.
I tried to smile, but I found it was hard.
"What was the dream about?" Then he paused. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I considered talking about it. Talking usually helped. But I couldn't. These were memories, and these memories felt...private. I didn't need Cedric to think he was traveling with a freak. And besides. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Point was, I wasn't telling Cedric.
I shook my head in answer. His eyes searched my face, and I could see that he was trying to comfort me in some way. His thumb stoked my hand, shooting a tingle up my arm.
"Well, my dream was about beef stew," he said, his mouth twitching upwards.
I laughed weakly, something that made me feel a little better. "No it wasn't."
His eyes widened. "Yes, I did! Can you blame me, with the amount of food that we ate last night?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
My hand twitched. Suddenly very aware of his grip on mine, I moved to slide my hand out. We let go very quickly, too quickly for my liking. He hastily put his hand down, leaning on it.
"So your dream?" I prodded.
"Oh, right. I was eating beef stew. Then a certain someone," he looked meaningfully at me, "came and took it away, eating it infront of me. I was going to take it back, not to mention slap them upside the head, but all the sudden I was stuck in a hole. It was really strange, the whole thing."
I barked a laugh. "So even in the dream I annoy you?"
He slapped me on my thigh.
We sat there talking idly for at least half an hour. I was grateful for him. He was something to focus on, something to distract me from my dreams.
The clouds outside were considerably lighter and spreading apart. Feebly, rays of the morning sun were peeking through. Cedric stretched and got up. He arched his back, nearly bending all the way back, and groaned. He had bits of hay in his roughly cut hair, but he didn't do anything about it.
"I was thinking we would travel to Oakland Woods, just north of here," Cedric yawned.
I agreed and got up too. We ate whatever was left of the food we got last night, and started.
"Come on," Cedric called, waving a hand. Rolling my shoulders, I followed.
"How far do you think the Oakland Woods are?" I asked, brushing a hand on the wheat stalks.
He squinted his eyes before answering. "Around ten miles. It'll take us around five hours to get there."
I moaned, a little louder than I wanted, and Cedric threw me a look. "What?" I complained loudly, throwing my hands up, "that's all we've been doing, walking! I'm exhausted and hungry, and I've never walked this much. You may be used to it, but I'm not!"
He stared at me, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying.
"Alright, sorry," he muttered with some heat.
"I'm just saying," I huffed.
We didn't talk for a couple of moments. It was too good of a moment to miss out on. Hoping to surprise him, I swung my arm up in a slapping motion, but he simply moved to the side, and quickly hit me in the back. I jerked forward and cursed quietly.
"How do you do it?" I asked, annoyed.
He smiled, though it looked more like he was baring his teeth. "I trained, Aelia. If I couldn't defend myself from you, I wouldn't be able to last as a Ranger for two seconds." he paused then said, "and a handy tip: use your environment for a weapon. You could throw dirt into my eye, or hit me with a stick. Your own strength isn't always good enough."
I struggled with what to say next. It was an awkward silence but everything I thought of saying would sound bad. Finally, I settled on, "why don't we steal some horses?"
He stumbled, completely caught off guard by my question. "I'm sorry?"
"Why don't we steal some horses?" I repeated, warming up to my idea, "It'll make traveling a lot easier."
"Yeah, and why don't we steal an elephant too?" he said sarcastically.
"Cedric, I'm serious," I argued, "it would be simple: the next inn or tavern we see, we sneak into the stables and steal one of the horses."
"Aelia, we need stealth, not speed. Horses will only be useful until we need to hide suddenly or slip into somewhere. We can't worry about the horses being seen while we're worried about us being seen."
I turned away. "Yeah, but it would make things easier."
He rolled his eyes. "Only until it wouldn't."
"I hate you and your logic."
He didn't crack a smile. "Thank you. Next time we need to hide, you'll be grateful for my logic."
"Doubtful," I couldn't resist saying.
He rolled his eyes again.
"If you keep rolling your eyes, they're going to get stuck like that," I said.
"Who told you that?" he said in a disbelieving tone.
I shrugged. I'd heard it once, but as far as I knew, it never happened.
"Well, don't believe everything that you hear," Cedric said.
The wheat fields we were walking by started to thin out. We were still nowhere close to the city of Delmark as far as I knew. I certainly hadn't seen any sign of a city.
We walked in silence, though this one is more comfortable. The silence left my mind wandering. My nightmares, my hurting feet, the beautiful scenery, and my most constant, my family.
Something in my history didn't make sense. My parents committed treason? They had never seemed harsh or hateful in any way. In fact, just the opposite. It wasn't like they were the most like people either. They were just... normal. I'd asked them plenty about what they had done, but they were always vague. Another thing that annoyed me. Every time I was with them, I felt a confused mix of hate, resentment, affection.
But I mostly couldn't stop thinking about my brother. I wished I could've had a better goodbye with Lucas. He had always protected me and comforted me when I was scared. And besides for his love, I needed someone close right then. I felt like I was always on edge, traveling with an accused man of the kingdom, but what was I supposed to do? Separate? I needed Lukas to guide me and help me feel like I was safe. Not that Cedric didn't make me feel safe. But he wasn't family. He was a boy my age who only stuck with me for heaven knows why.
That was another thing. Why did Cedric bother with me in the first place? It wasn't like I was close to him while we were cellmates. If anything, it was the opposite. I had never bothered to help Cedric in the jail. I never gave him any sign that I even wanted to be his friend. So why would he come and get me and bother with helping me on his escape? What did I do but slow him down and annoy him?