(Ishan's dialogues will be in italics.
Shubman's dialogues will be in bold.)
Ishan's pov
15th March 2024
I was supposed to be meeting him after three months today. I didn't know how to feel about it. His plane was supposed to land right about now and I couldn't help but feel nervousness and excitement building inside me, to see him but also a twinge of guilt. I had already been staying here in Mumbai since the DY Patil tournament ended and Shreyas who had arrived a few days ago was rooming with me for some reason.
He had said it was because he'd be bored alone, but I knew it was because of the BCCI annual contract, because Shrey liked to be alone, most of the time atleast. Shrey had been kind of distant from everyone since that news came out, but he felt comfortable with me, maybe because we shared a mutual connection of loss. I had made it my duty to try and make him feel better and stick with him, during these times. So I didn't say no when he had asked to room with me after arriving to Mumbai despite me wanting to stay alone for a bit.
When I heard they had arrived, Shrey and I went to the lobby to receive them. Shubman, Yashasvi, Sarfaraz and Dhruv were there waiting at the reception to receive their rooms. Shrey and I had greeted all of them, and I had received a normal handshake with a half hug from Shub, just like I had done with everyone else. Since we would be leaving for IPL in a couple days, they were only getting a couple rooms among the four of them aswell. While Yash and Sarfaraz shared a room, Shub and Dhruv shared another one. I wanted to room with Shub, like we always used to but with the current conditions I knew it wasn't possible. I couldn't do that to Shrey.
As we all met each other and chatted for a bit, everything felt seemingly normal, only I knew it wasn't, at all. They left after a bit wanting to freshen up and rest a bit before all of us went out for dinner, to celebrate their test series win against England. Throughout dinner, Shrey and I felt kind of excluded. With their conversations and inside jokes which we couldn't quite understand. The both of us knew, they didn't mean to make us feel that way. They were trying their best to make us feel included and tried to explain the inside jokes but it just didn't feel the same as actually living through it all.
Shrey and I tried our best to keep up with them but in the end it turned out to be just us sitting at the edge of the table, whispering to each other and discussing random cricket stats, just the two of us. I kept glancing at Shub from time to time, as I watched him sitting between Dhruv and Yash, laughing and being loud the whole time. He caught me staring a couple times and as we made eye contact I could see his smile dimming a bit but then I would look away before I could notice anything else.
Two days later, with still zero personal interactions with Shub without other people present, I had given up a little. With the already increasing pressure to perform well in the IPL for my team and also for the selections of the upcoming T20 World Cup, which would be even tougher now for Shrey and I since they removed our contract, I hadn't been feeling too well. I had been a lot quieter and didn't smile much either. Everyone noticed but nobody commented on it including Shub.
Shrey, who had been going through similar emotions, of being unfairly removed from the contract, had given me a long tight hug in our room before he would leave for Kolkata. He knew I needed comfort and maybe that hug had probably helped him aswell. We were now all standing in the lobby, some waiting to go to the airport meanwhile others just being there to bid them a farewell.
As Shub was parting with Dhruv and Yash, Shrey looked at me again and whispered,
"Take care and don't pressurize yourself too much, I have faith in you."
I just gave him a weak smile and whispered a, "You too." back.
He pulled me in a hug again and we stood there like that for a few seconds, dreading everything that was to come. I noticed Shub looking at us, as Shrey and I were still in each other's embrace and as we made eye contact, Yash loudly said,
"Agar tum log ka hogaya ho, toh chale?"
Everyone laughed at that, as Shrey and I parted away and I saw Shub chuckling as well but it looked strained.
As I bid the others a goodbye and they left, it was just Shub, Sarfaraz and I now. We were also supposed to be leaving for the airport in a couple hours as we all went to our respective rooms now alone, to do our final packing. Surya bhai and Rohit bhai who had been staying at their homes were supposed to pick us up from the hotel before we all made our way to the airport together.
At the airport as we were already late, due to the bhaiyas running late and us not being ready on time either, we rushed towards the plane which had already ended boarding and was only waiting for us. As Rohit bhai and Shub made their ways towards the plane, with Surya bhai and I trailing behind them, arguing about whose fault it was that we were late, I saw Rohit bhai and Shub already seated next to each other on the plane.
I had been staring at Shub pretty disappointedly, but I couldn't blame anyone but myself for this. Surya bhai sensed the disappointment and looked between Shub and I before asking,
"Everything okay?"
"Not really."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Whatever, if you're not gonna say anything else I might as well just fall asleep..... Don't you want to get some sleep too?"
"Not really."
"Will you say anything else other than 'not really'?"
"Not really."
I replied to everything he had asked, while not even sparing him a single glance as I kept staring at the back of Shub's head. I could hear him groaning, clearly annoyed by my behavior and I just looked at him and smiled mischievously.
As Surya bhai made himself comfortable next to me, with his head on my shoulder, drifting off, I started thinking about everything that had happened between Shub and I.
Yes, we had drifted apart. Yes, we had different things going on in our lives, and couldn't relate to each other. But we could've still been there for each other if I hadn't done what I did. We had fought. Well more like I had taken out my anger and frustration on him after the losing the contract. No, I was not jealous of him for getting the contract and being in grade A, I was happy for him. But that particular day, after a couple days of the news, I had been pissed and frustrated and I had lashed out at him.
It had been a month since that. No phone calls, no video chats and no texts since then. But he didn't look pissed at me for it. Infact he looked indifferent, which had scared me more. It had made me realize that maybe he had truly moved on. The friendship between us was now over, I was no longer his bestfriend. He had new friends now. Just like a few years back I had replaced Abhishek in his life, I myself had been replaced now. He hadn't ignored me when we had met after three months, but he also hadn't hugged me properly like we used to do.
As I sat there thinking about everything for about an hour and a half, watching Shub chatting and laughing with Rohit bhai, I had made up my mind to talk to him. Our friendship couldn't end like this. We couldn't end like this. Even if I couldn't have him as anything more, I also couldn't lose him as my bestfriend. I loved him too much for that to ever happen.
After landing and settling in our rooms, I had roomed with Surya bhai. I made my way to Shub's room knowing he was staying alone. (captain privileges)
I knocked on the door twice before he opened it. Without further delay, I just threw myself on him, holding him tightly in a bear hug. He was startled and held my shoulders to not fall back by the force. I just whispered softly and sadly,
"I'm sorry."
At that he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly close to his body.
I had tears in my eyes, with a sad pout on my face and as he pulled away and looked at my face, he smiled softly.
"I had been waiting for that apology for so long now."
I just looked at him confused that he wasn't mad or upset. He sensed my confusion as he continued.
"I thought you would apologize by calling me right away, but I had to wait for more than a month for it."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you. And I'm sorry I didn't apologize right away, I just felt too guilty and couldn't face you."
Shub just chuckled a little at that.
"I know you didn't mean to, meri jaan. I knew you were stressed with everything that was happening. But I was just waiting for you to apologize once, because I didn't want to completely let go of my bachi kuchi self respect. I was just surprised that even after three months, when you met me you didn't even apologize or hug me properly, tune meri taraf aagi se dekh bhi nai." He said now pouting.
"That's because I thought you didn't care, you acted so indifferent. Plus you seemed much closer to Yash and Dhruv, I thought you replaced me :("
Shub smirked at that.
"All I took from this sentence, was that you were jealous."
"I wasn't jealous." I said crossing my arms.
"Sure sure and you clearly didn't even miss me, you looked so cozy with Shreyas, so you have no right to say that." He said looking a little annoyed.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you, these three months without you were hell, especially the last month."
"I missed you more jaan, only I know how I've spent this month not speaking to you."
"I really didn't mean to ignore you the past month Shub, but after I yelled at you, I felt immensely guilty and then I realized that I was in lo- that I uhh- that I-"
"That you what?"
Fuck it. I had already almost said it, and I couldn't think of anything else to cover it up, so I just spilled the truth.
"That I was in love with you.... so after that realization I didn't know how to communicate with you anymore."
Shubman looked shocked at that but then as he recovered from it, he gave me the biggest grin and cupped my face pulling me in for a kiss.
To say I was shocked was an understatement but I kissed him back nonetheless. We stood there making out before we both had to pull away to breathe.
"I'm in love with you aswell meri jaan."
The End.
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This one's for Jaguanu <3
Just wanted to say that no matter what happens, whether they fight or drift apart, they will always find their ways back to each other. So don't stress.
Also I know everyone's been talking about the contract, but I'd rather not comment on it. I'm still too hurt to talk about it.