When James opens the door of his house at six in the morning, he expects no one but Peter Pettigrew. Firstly, because he's the only one to know where he lives. Secondly, because he wouldn't forgive anyone else for the rudeness of coming this early.
But here he stands, Severus Snape, draped in his dark robes and a somber look on his face.
"What the fuck?" James panics, blinking frenetically.
If Severus, a death eater, knows where they live, then Voldemort does too, then Lily and Harry are in danger, then Peter might be dead-
"Calm down." Severus stops his internal rambling. "He's not aware of my presence here."
"Why?"
"Let me enter, and I'll explain."
"Why?" James repeats, defiant. "I've got no reason to trust you."
"The fact Voldemort isn't behind me ready to use the killing curse is all you need to trust me."
James pinches his lips, considering it for an instant.
If it was up to him, he'd close the door in that Slytherin's face in a heartbeat. There's no use trusting them. They only care about themselves, and Severus' presence here points to nothing but a scheme.
But it's not up to him anymore. He's not alone. He's got Lily and Harry to protect, and the look in the eyes of his old rival tells him he wants, no, needs, to hear what he has to say.
James doesn't utter a word, he simply pushes himself aside, opening up the door.
Severus walks into their home confidently, instinctively going to the living room. Here, he finds Lily. And there's a split second, where it hurts.
It's one thing to know the one person you ever truly loved is living a fairytale with someone else. It's another thing, to see the fruit of their love be held by her ringed hand.
But he gathers himself quickly, because love and bitterness are rather unimportant today.
"Severus?" Lily looks alarmed, the grip on her baby becoming tighter. Her red hair, curly, disheveled, is tied in a messy bun, deep eyebags and pale skin: parenthood has its ups and downs, visibly.
"Lily." He greets, watching James sit down next to her protectively. "I come bearing... bad news, to say the least."
They exchange a worried look and Severus almost laughs ironically at their chemistry. He really never stood a chance against James Potter.
"I'll start with the hardest one, if I can even call it that. Your secret-keeper has been betraying you, long before you even chose him as such."
Before James can stand up and cause an uproar, accuse Severus of lying and badmouth him in the process, before he can do what he always does; defend his friends, Lily poses a hand on his thigh, calming him down.
She looks regretful, shocked, but mainly disappointed. "He was a traitor all along?"
"Indeed. I believe Voldemort kept it a secret from other Death Eaters just in case. Evan could tell Pandora, who'd tell Dorcas, etc."
"Then why isn't it a secret anymore?"
"Because he's coming to kill your son tonight."
There's a gasp. Lily's trembling hand comes to her chapped lips. James grits his teeth, fists tightening and eyes avoiding everyone in the room. He must still be confused about Peter's betrayal. There's a giggle from Harry, that simply makes the atmosphere in the room worse.
"Why? Why not us? We're the aurors who've been fighting him!"
"There's a prophecy." Snape answered, feeling guilty for a split second. Perhaps they should have been made aware of that sooner. "One that tells the story of a boy who'll defeat the Dark Lord. It fitted only two children, Neville Longbottom or Harry Potter. He plans to eliminate your child tonight."
Lily puts the small body of her son against her, holding him closer. Unable to sit still anymore, she stands up, walking around mindlessly as she usually does when she's trying to make her baby burp. James and Severus sit face to face, and despite their constant disputes, they both accept at this instant to trust one another. What Severus is saying is too credible to not believe it, and there's no use fighting the messenger.
"Did you tell Dumbledore about it?" James asks, voice barely above a whisper.
As impossible as it sounds, Severus frowns even more. "I did. I did it first, actually. That's why you're here, hiding."
The sudden knowledge that Severus is the reason they've been under so much protection, that he was a spy all along, doesn't even make James flinch. It would have, twenty minutes ago. But now, he's ready to take in this fact quicker than he usually would. There's obviously no time for hesitation or distrust.
"Fine. Should we leave then?"
"No. Because..." Severus sighs, as if it's the hardest thing he ever had to say. "I did a ritual to see bribes of the future. I saw deaths. And most importantly, I saw a second war. Harry, brave Gryffindor, will survive and vanquish the Dark Lord if he comes tonight, surviving the killing curse. You'll die, but he'll come out without a scratch."
He seems to be searching through vague memories, through flashes of pictures that don't tell him anywhere near enough.
"My mistake. He'll have a tiny scar, in the form of lightning." He corrects. "But Voldemort will come back, and Harry will spend his Hogwarts years narrowly escaping death. He will be manipulated by Albus Dumbledore and raised like a lamb for slaughter. He had friends, like Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and a lover, a certain Ginny Weasley, but it doesn't erase the pain he goes through during these seven years."
"Did you see if he died?"
"I think... I think I died before their final duel." Severus looks distraught after this confession, but masks it efficiently. "Hogwarts was in ruins, though. I don't think he won. Remus, Sirius, you both, Peter, some of the Weasleys... They all died. Sirius even spent twelve years in Azkaban, framed by Peter. Something Dumbledore was aware of too, but he didn't do anything to change it."
The thought of Sirius dying hurts James more than he expected it. He hides his eyes with his hands, nervously shaking his leg. "But do we have another choice then leaving?"
"We can't." Lily disagrees, coming back without Harry, who's sleeping peacefully in his crib. "He'll find us, again, and again. Too many are dead! Marlene, Dorcas, Peter's betrayed us, Evan has become a Death Eater and you too!" She points accusatively at Severus who lowers his head in shame. "We worked against each other for years and that's why it's fucking crumbling apart! If Dumbledore isn't able to protect us, then I'll do it."
"Lily-" James tries, but he's met by the coldest stare he has ever seen from Lily.
"My baby is not seeing his parents die tonight." Lily bites her finger, scratching her elbow with her other hand. "We need to... We need to start all over. Severus, I need your help. You said he's coming at night?"
"He's still asleep, and will prepare for this moment all day. I believe he'll use the muggle celebration of Samhain to trick you into opening the door for the dramatics." He rolls his eyes.
"Then I need his signature." She announces, and Severus' eyes widen in shock. "Find me anything. A piece of his robes or a hair, I don't know."
"Are you doing a... galdor of time?" He wonders, and when Lily slowly nods, he stands up. "This is madness! If you fail, we're talking about disastrous consequences!"
"And if I don't do it, the disastrous consequences will be knocking at my door tonight."
"Wait what." James stops their argument, literally stepping between the two. "A galdor of time?"
Lily loses her fire for a moment, seeming ashamed. Severus understands she's putting the weight of breaking the news on him, which he does, because it's Lily: he's not sure he ever refused her anything.
"A spell that rewinds time. It's an extremely dangerous one. It requires a part of an enemy, a protégé and a protector. It has to be done with good intentions, and if the Goddess decides it's too selfish -which it is-, she won't allow it. Lily could die on the spot. And the incantations have to be sang with extreme precision, it's suicide!"
"This sounds an awful lot like Dark Magic." James chuckles nervously.
He waits for Lily to be offended, to defend herself. He waits for her to assure him it's a common spell he's somehow never heard of. He waits.
But Severus and Lily just stare, as if themselves are waiting. Waiting for his reaction. He doesn't have one. The thought of his beloved practicing Dark Magic has never even crossed his mind. He doesn't know how to handle it.
"You call it Dark Magic." Severus breaks the silence. "We call it witchcraft, and what you practice, Magic."
"This is what Voldemort does." James reminds them, particularly Lily.
"Witchcraft is a knife." Severus counters before Lily can try to explain. "You can either use it to commit a genocide, or to cook a nice meal. We don't all choose to kill."
"An awful lot of you do, from what I've seen!"
"Have you, really?"
His eyes lay on Lily and perhaps, perhaps he didn't notice. Perhaps he stood next to people who practiced what he despised the most and never doubted them one bit.
But he just can't. The idea that Dark Wizards might be, well, not that dark, is impossible to process.
"Severus, time is running out." Lily begs, grabbing his robes. "Get me something of his."
He first looks at James, as if to be sure he can be trusted left alone with Lily, but finally obeys her order. He leaves the house with a loud slam that leaves the two lovers alone with their fears and thoughts.
"Have you always been a Dark Witch?"
Lily sighs loudly.
She doesn't like to be called like this. There used to be a time where she was proud of her origins, of her ancestry, of how powerful she was. Those were the years she spent the closest to Severus. She used to worship nature and the Goddess while Severus blabbered about the God under a tree, sunlight shining on their faces.
She felt accepted. Which she doesn't at all, right now, under the impatient stare of James. She sits down on the couch, hands resting on her thighs.
He thinks about her grabbing Harry and reading him beautiful stories, beautiful poems even James had trouble understanding. He thinks about her wincing in fear everytime James didn't hold Harry in the exact way she wanted. He thinks about her feeding Harry of her milk, grateful that James woke up and kept her company. He thinks about every dream, every project she had of their little family.
It's still Lily. It's a Lily whose one part of the puzzle is missing, but it's still the puzzle he loved figuring out.
"I come from a clan of old, old witches practicing witchcraft. My oldest ancestor died during the Salem Trials, Sarah Evans. We migrated to the United Kingdom not so long after, and hid this part of the family. Because of Voldemort, I've grown ashamed of this part of myself, and I still am, really." It sounds like a plea for James to forgive her. "I haven't used it since I was thirteen."
"Then what tells you you'll be succeeding in this ritual? Lily, you're risking a lot. I don't want to lose you." He grabs her hand to knot them between his, eyes watering. "He said it was suicide."
Lily has a small, regretful smile. "My grandmother always told me I was the spitting image of Sarah Evans. That she was burned at the stake with her head held high, red hair blending in the flames. When she'd learned I had stopped practicing, she was so disappointed. She always told me I was the brightest witch my lineage had seen in a long time. My mother was supportive, accepted my choice right away, but my grand-mother's words haunted me for a long time. I felt like a failure. Like I was giving up on the greatest gift I ever had."
"Why did you never tell me?"
Lily gives him a look, a look that makes him remember every fight, every insult, every prank against the little group of Snape. He wants to argue it was because they were children of Death Eaters, bound to become ones too, but he admits Dark Wizards and Death Eaters have always been the same thing to him.
"Fair enough."
Lily snuggles against him and they hold each other closely. Too focused on saving Harry, James had, for a moment, forgotten he was meant to die today. Meant to die first, or to watch his lover perish: he couldn't tell which one was worse.
"But if you go back in the past, I won't remember anything? Harry, us?"
Lily pinches her lip. "No, you won't. You could take part in the ritual, but I know it might be-"
"I'll do it." He replies in a heartbeat. "I really don't want to forget. And if you're doing it to fix everything, you'll need an ally to know what to prevent, right?"
The thought of someone else back there knowing about their doomed future and helping her fixing it relieves her in a way that cannot be described.
"Thank you." She says, sincerely.
They hold each other like it's the last time. It might be, actually. Lily doesn't even want to imagine a world where Severus didn't make that choice, to come here and warn them. To help her literally rewind time. He made mistakes, which she's still angry about, but it redeems him a little in her eyes.
They must stay there for hours, both reminiscing and worrying about the future. Because when Severus comes back, it's practically one in the afternoon. He's carrying a vial, with a single, tiny drop of blood in it, and a cup in silver. Lily's eyes brighten when she sees it.
"Your mother's cup!" She almost shouts, grabbing it with utter care. "She never let me touch it!"
"She left it to me after her death." He explains, smiling fondly at the memory. The gaze of James burns his face. "I thought it might increase the chances of it working."
"Why?" James asks, tilting his head to the side.
"It's a very old artifact. The Prince family has been using it to do rituals for decades." Severus answers. "It's charged with an exceeding amount of energy from my ancestry."
"Is that his blood?"
"Yes. I scratched him 'accidentally' with my wand. Cost me a crucio, but he didn't notice there was some blood left on my wand."
"You didn't have to go that far." Lily comments, biting the inside of her cheek. "A piece of his robes would have worked well enough."
"We don't know that. Blood is always the best choice." He reminds her. "And besides, I'm used to it."
The couple feels guilty for a bit at the thought of Severus undergoing such pain for them, though James gets over it faster than Lily does. Then, she starts putting away the furniture. The table, the carpet, the couch; the living room becomes an empty room in thirty minutes. Lily abandons them briefly to get a strand of hair from Harry, putting it in the cup. She cuts one of her own, and James does too.
"Why is he staying?" James wonders, crossing his arms against his chest.
"The rule of three." They answer at the same time, but only Lily continues. "You have to make a cone of power to do a ritual, which means at least three people. He won't come back with us, we're borrowing his energy."
"Doesn't it bother you?" James asks Severus, and somehow it sounds both taunting, curious and concerned at the same time.
Severus shakes his head. "I trust you. And I trust myself to not make the same mistakes, even without the knowledge of the future."
He looks at Lily when he says that, and they're both aware that the event he's talking about, him calling her a mudblood, still hovers over his head to this day. It's such a petty thing to worry about in this instant, but he truly hopes he will be smart enough to not do it again.
"Then let's do it." Lily decides. They hold each other's hands, circling the silver cup. She's glad this ritual doesn't involve blood, she's not sure James would have been able to handle it. "I, Lily Sarah Evans, opens this cone of power and will proceed to beg for the Godess' attention."
Severus closes his eyes, and so James mimics him.
"Mater Dea, obsecro te hodie, Samhain, ut mihi in hoc ritu successum concedas. Reduce me huc ubi omnes coeperunt, ubi execrabilem futuram mutare possum."
She repeats it two other times, with the exact same pronunciation, with the exact same intonation, body still and holding firmly the hands of Severus and James. All three of them stare at the ceiling, standing still, waiting for a sign, an answer.
Just when Lily starts to wonder if she failed, everything becomes white. Severus and James have both disappeared. She feels light, she feels free, she feels like a feather flying to her destiny.
Elysian is the only way to describe where she is. White, but also terribly dark. Perfect, yet filled with mistakes. Reassuring, and simply terrifying. It's something her brain can't fully process. It's beautiful, truly, and she feels blessed to be in what must be a divine place, but her human heart feels the ugly parts. Every ugly parts.
Lily supposes it's all about balance, and she manages to withstand it.
When she turns around, she's here. The Mother Goddess.
The Goddess they celebrate has three distinct appearances, three distinct personalities. Which is why some still refer to her as the Triple Goddess, but it is the same divinity after all. The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone. All the same deity, just one that adapts to the needs of her worshippers.
As a woman petrified by the thought of not protecting her people, her own son, Lily's not surprised it's the Mother who offers her presence and protection.
Lily instantly gulps, because of how confusing she looks, and how imposing she stands. But it doesn't please Her.
"No, my child, do not fear me." She walks to her, freezing hands grabbing ahold of Lily's. "I have been watching you, waiting for you to come back to me."
Her appearance is oddly appeasing. Greyish skin, yellow, raptor eyes, black hair tied in a ponytail, long white dress that barely covers anything. She's captivating, divine. Which is to be expected from a deity. Lily still can't believe this is happening. It is cementing beliefs she had to bury to please everyone else. Beliefs she used to feel so strongly about, beliefs she found comfort in.
"I see your wish to protect your child, one I can understand very well." She starts, towering over Lily and circling around her, like a predator. Lily only notices now the Goddess is speaking another language, one she doesn't know but somehow understands. "I see your intent to bring back your beloved with you, something I can accept. But I also see hatred. Hatred so strong, I'm afraid of conferring you the means to go back."
"I can manage that hatred." Lily assures confidently. Denying its existence would only make it worse. "I do not wish to go back for the wish of revenge, but to make my loved ones safe and happy."
"And if revenge happens on the way, so be it?" The Goddess grins in a wicked way. Lily nods slowly, seeing no use in lying to a divine being. She suddenly gets away from Lily, turning back, walking elegantly.
Lily stands there, blinking in confusion, still in shock. "Mother?"
She turns back one last time, golden eyes shining with something else than impassibility.
"Do not make the same mistakes your ancestor did." Is all she gives as a warning.
When Lily blinks again, she feels tugged through a tube, forced somewhere she shouldn't be. Her head hurts, and moments of her life are everywhere around her, every single moment she's decided to erase, every single thing that might or not happen again. And then there's a loud voice:
"Gryffindor!"
There's the disappointed stare of Severus, there's the clapping of Dumbledore, there's people watching her in the grand hall, waiting for her to get down from the chair, there's Sirius and Remus bickering, there's Pandora and her pale skin and hair, there's a lot.
Most importantly, there's the knowing, almost mischievous smile of James as he watches her, and she knows: it worked.