Carina (carina)
Allegra spensierata sei carina (carina)
Ma con il broncio sembri ancor più bella
Tu sei la stella che manca in ciel
Perché carina, carina, carina sei tu
Simpatica e dolce ogni giorno di più
E col tuo candore carina tu sei fatta per amar
- Carina - Nicola Arigliano (https://open.spotify.com/track/5yivxFwuIMvhWWQclRNuLC?si=d7266f0283bf4035)
I scatter the last few rose petals from the bag to finish the path leading to the bathroom when my phone rings in the living room. I take one final look around our room before closing the door to run down the hall in time to answer the call. "This is Maya." The placemat on the kitchen counter is askew and I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear as I pull on the edges. "The wolf has found her way back to Rome." What the hell? I look back at the phone to make sure it really is the front desk calling and not some weird prank call.
"Uhm, Borris. I'm afraid you've lost me." Our security guard chuckles over the phone while I do a full three-sixty around the apartment, lost in thought as I double check everything against my mental checklist. "You asked me to inform you when Dr. Deluca-Bishop is here. She just stopped in the garage." I jump into action, dimming the lights and sprinting through the doors. "I'll give you another fifty if you keep her down there until I get there." My feet slip on the tiles near the elevator when I turn around too quickly.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck! The fucking flowers. I run back to our apartment just as I overhear my wife's voice on the other side of the phone. The way back down to the lobby takes longer than it ever has before. When the elevator doors finally open, I'm met with the scene of my wife, seconds away from shoving the poor security guard out of her way. "Hey, hey, my love. Take it easy." I walk up behind her, placing my hand on her back. "Thanks man." Borris happily takes the fifty-dollar bill from my hands, looking down at the money as he contemplates whether it was worth being yelled at in a foreign language.
"Babe, please. I asked him to hold you off for a minute." I move around her until I'm facing her while she keeps glowering at Borris in irritation. "Well then he should have said that instead of lying to me about some dent in my Porsche." He looks at me for permission before he walks back to the front door. "Uhm, hi. Your car is fine, if we can get back to us now?" Carina's gaze travels down my body and a smouldering look takes over her features as her lips pull into a wicked grin. I hand her the flowers before going in for a lingering kiss on her cheek.
"Buonasera, bella." She takes a step away from me, inhaling the scent clinging to the flowers in her hands. "Are you ready for the most romantic evening of your life?" Her smile turns ecstatic as she vigorously nods her head up and down before looping her arm through mine. "Why did you need to bribe Borris for more time? Didn't Queen-of-the-Clipboard Maya get everything done?" I look up into her inquisitive eyes after hitting the button for the elevator to take us back to our floor. "You underestimate the clipboard, love. I have meticulously planned and executed every detail of tonight, to perfection and beyond."
She pretends to fan herself by pulling on the neckline of her dress. "Your obsession over order is so hot." I poke her in the side, willing the elevator to move faster. "I want to do things the right way, remember? Flowers, meeting you at the door, walking you up. That sort of thing. The first time we hooked up, I was waiting for you in my bed. Naked, if I recall correctly." She slaps the flowers against my chest, before pulling me through the open metal doors. "Exactly. What's sexier than walking into that again?"
I follow her down the brightly lit hall, shaking my head at her back until I see the seductive sway of her ass as she takes a few steps away from me. My eyes are glued to her every mouthwatering curve, traveling their way up to her knowing smirk looking over her shoulder at our door. "It's not very gentlemanly of you to let me open the door myself while staring at my ass." I try to hide my blush from her, before jogging the few steps to our front door to stop her from opening the door herself.
"Okay. All jokes aside? Can you please close your eyes?" Carina gives me a surprised look before sighing in exasperation when she sees how serious I am. She gently brushes her lips against mine before finally relenting and closing her eyes. "Contenta?(Happy?)" I wave my hand in front of her face to make sure she isn't peeking. "Okay. Now you can open the door for yourself." She opens her one eye, glaring at me through her peripheral vision. "Hey, don't give me that look. It's only fair that you put in some work too."
I wait for her to close her eye again before I guide her hand to the door handle. I walk backwards into the apartment first, pulling her through the door until I can close it behind her. After dropping her hand, she places it over her eyes so she won't give into the temptation to sneak a peek before I tell her she can look. I keep my eyes locked on her face, so I won't miss a single emotion in her features when she takes in the evening I've been planning for months. She hands me her flowers which I put back in the vase it was before. "I hope this exceeds all your expectations."
She holds her breath as I pull her hand away from her face and hold my own when she slowly opens her eyes. I watch her pupils adjust to the dimly lit room as they meet mine before they widen as she takes in the scene around us. Her mouth falls open when she turns her head to the living room, which is now sheltered by a gazebo of miniature fairy lights, lots of flowers and one moon lamp off to the side to set the scene of nighttime underneath the stars.
I protected the wooden floors with plastic wrap before carrying bags and bags of pure white beach sand into the apartment to cover every inch of the space around us. All our furniture that usually occupy the open space, have been moved into the spare room, which will probably burst out of its seams should anyone try to enter. A white sheet has been pulled tightly against the opposite wall with the tiny device behind us, projecting idyllic scenes of the waves illuminated by moonlight, lapping at the shore against it. Paired with the sound of nature softly playing through the speakers around us.
Our couch and coffee table have been replaced by bean bags and a small inflatable swimming pool surrounded by different size rocks, and makeshift dunes of sand to cover the plastic. The tiny pool has also been filled with sand and rocks to give her the sense of slipping her feet into the ocean. A picnic blanket sits between the two seats, with a picnic basket on top, the champagne chilling in its holder on the other side. She turns her head to the kitchen on the right of the scene, gasping when she sees the transformation present.
I taped off the open plan kitchen with a printed tapestry of mountains, with big green trees poking out. Two fake palm trees and a grass hut are tucked into each corner, with a small paddleboat making up for the empty space between. The wall, with the front door we just emerged from, has a similar tapestry but this one has the addition of a coastal village among the trees. The whole atmosphere of the room is set to feel as close to being on our own private beach as possible.
Carina turns around the room in circles a few more times before facing me again with tears reflecting in her eyes like the stars in the sky I tried to recreate. "You brought Riserva dello Zingaro to our home?" She lifts her palm over her heart before taking her shoes off so she can feel the sand beneath her feet. "Did I get it right? I couldn't exactly take you to Italy for a date and apparently you need a permit for a picnic on the beach in Seattle, if you're brave enough to risk it. And it's not wha-" My wife instantly calms down my overactive doubtfulness in myself, by cupping my face to kiss me.
"Maya, stop. This is perfect. You are perfect." She kisses me again, biting down on my lip when I moan into her mouth. Carina pulls away a smidge, looking around us again in awe. "I only told you about this place once and I think it was during the night we first met." I loosely rest my hands on her hips, loving every second of her face glowing under the pretend milky way. "It was actually the first night we spent together here. I was trying to be cool, teasing you about the romantic evening you put together for us and how you shouldn't waste your dream date on me, and you-"
Carina tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, trailing her fingertips down my cheek, alongside my jaw and over my neck. "I told you that the date of my dreams could only ever exist in Sicily." Her eyes bore into mine while she tries to remember the conversation that changed the trajectory of my life forever. I knew I was in trouble of falling in love with her while she spoke so fondly of the white beach, the crystal-clear waters, the sun glistening on the wet pebbles. She closed her eyes and her face turned serene as she pictured the place she was describing to me.
That moment of peace and untroubled tranquility caught me hook, line and sinker. I don't think I realized until I started planning this evening that I've been chasing that serenity myself and found it within the woman who experienced it first. She told me how she loved that place the most during a full moon, when the world around her was quiet but she could still use the moonlight to appreciate the beauty of her homeland. Carina mumbled while being lost in the memory how she always thought of nights on that beach when thinking of romance.
Just like she's lost in the memory now while looking at, what I hope is, a close replica of the real thing in our living room. "My mother's the one who introduced me to the piece of paradise at night. When she'd come to visit me in Italy after she and Andrea moved to the States, she would meet me at the steps leading to the beach. She'd have a picnic basket in one hand and the latest best-selling novel in the other. We would swim and eat and laugh while we fill each other in on our lives until long after the sun had set, and the moon shone bright. Then we would pack up and walk back to her hotel with our feet in the water and her arm thrown around my shoulders."
I keep my eye on my wife's lips as they form into a mournful smile while she talks about her mom. When she told me about her special place back home, she never mentioned the significance of her mother's presence in it. My eyes actually tear up from the love and loss I can see battling in her own. She starts laughing through her tears, at another memory my stupid idea of a romantic evening brought forth. "A boy from school walked up to us the one day with this lame excuse to start a conversation before inviting me to a party."
I wipe the tear that cascades down her cheek with the pad of my thumb, smiling up at her to share more of her childhood with me. "I politely declined since I only had a few days a year where mama and I could spend time together. I told her that there will be plenty of time for boys once I'm alone again, and she told me that I shouldn't settle like she did. I should wait for the person who comes along to steal my heart out from under me and not let anyone stand in the way. Not my father or society because love knows no colour, no gender, no limits. I guess she knew I liked women long before I did."
I push myself up on my toes to kiss away another stray tear that falls from the corner of her eye. "Is that when you told her that you'd marry the first person to take you to that beach for a date? Because if they understood the importance of the moonlight on the ocean in that spot, then they would know you well enough to be worthy of your heart." After I blackmailed Ross and my world started falling apart, one brick at a time, my driving force that led to me booking us a holiday in Italy together was Carina's story of the beach that kept her most sacred of memories tucked away in its depths.
I was so desperate to be worthy of her love and I wanted to show her how much I appreciated her. And no matter the amount of progress I've made in therapy, since the day I agreed to go on a date with her again after our separation, I've been searching for a way to be worthy of her love once more. Carina nods her head at me sadly, and the fear I've been walking around with since I opened my notebook to start planning this evening, moves front and centre. Maybe I went too far. I had three other notebooks with plans for tonight pencilled down to the last detail.
If I had known that this beach, I tried recreating, was the place she felt closest to her mom, I would've used one of my other ideas. I wanted to rent a yacht for the night, take her out to the middle of the sea and watch the reflection of the moonlight dance across her golden skin. Her tears wouldn't be flowing if I just chose to rent the cabin overlooking the Hood Canal instead. But I wanted our first time together to be in our house, so I threw those ideas to the wind. I was hesitant about this plan and had a whole other list of romantic concepts in my mind. Images of candles and roses and a romantic dinner together.
But I so desperately wanted to offer this magical night to my wife, just so I could feel worthy of the gift she was willing to give me. I want to show her how far I've come and how much more I have to offer her. Why is she still staring into my eyes with tears in her own without saying anything? "Did I overstep? Should I have rather arranged something like I did with the restaurant?" Carina shuts me up immediately by pressing her lips against mine with such ferocity that my knees actually buckle.
The fire from this morning ignites with the snap of her fingers as she pulls me deeper into the apartment until her back hits the wall. I cup her face with one of my hands too, tilting our heads to get closer to her somehow. My other hand pulls on her waist, willing her to make the first move but her kisses are inconsistent. I try to pull away to try and read her mind through her facial features, but every time she pulls me back, I feel like I'm imagining things.
I move my lips down to her neck to start a trail of kisses there, taking the victory when she moans my name. My breathless wife starts pulling on my short summer dress the harder I nibble before she directs me back to her lips with her hands bunched in my hair. The kiss that follows starts off hot once again, but there is that slight hesitation in the way her mouth moves against mine that makes me feel uncertain about the direction I thought this kiss was leading to.
"Okay, okay, my love. Where is your head at? Because it's not with me." Carina's eyes stay closed when I lean back to look at her. She shakes her head and tries to pull me back to her, but I stop our lips from touching again. I keep her at arm's length by pushing my palm against the wall next to her head. "Carina, I know how you kiss when you're lost in the pleasure of us. This feels like you're escaping into your head, which is my move, I might add. Not yours. What's going on?" She keeps mumbling that it's nothing while pulling on my clothes.
I try to convince her to look at me, but she just sighs loudly. If I had walked into what I thought was going to be a special night for us, only to have my bubble burst because she unknowingly planned something that brought up memories of my dad, I probably wouldn't be so keen on getting frisky with my wife either. "I'm sorry, my love. I didn't mean to hijack the memories you have of your mom." Her eyes slowly drift open and the storm brewing in them takes my breath away.
I can see the passion burning on the surface, but there is also insecurity, fear, pain and happiness in them. The cluster of emotions are making my head spin. "Maya, you didn't steal anything. Or intrude on any memories I have of my mama. I'm just sad that I never got to introduce you to her or tell her how I married someone as good and kind as you. This incredible evening you've planned only builds on the memories I have of a place so near and dear to my heart and I just need a minute to make enough room for all the feelings you're making me feel."
Carina runs her fingertip across my cheek, licking her lips in the process. "I want you, bambina. My body was lit on fire the moment I saw how sexy you look in that dress and I had every intention of devouring you once we walked through that door. But walking into this has messed with the wiring in my brain." I push her back against the wall, cradling the back of her head in the crook of my arm and holding her hand in the space between our bodies.
"I've never felt as cherished and loved as I do right now, but I also feel sad for only having memories of my mom to hold onto. And I'm angry at your clouds from keeping this side of you hidden away, and I'm surprised that you remember every detail of a story I told you years ago in passing, and I'm just..." She takes a shaky breath when I rest my forehead against hers, gazing into the eyes that has invited my soul to join hers in the warmth reflecting in them. "You feel overwhelmed?" Her bottom lip quivers before she brushes her mouth against mine.
I take a minute to calm my own mind down by telling myself that I didn't completely mess up our evening and somehow succeeded in what this evening was about. To make her see how much I love her and how far we've come. I would have liked her to come to the realisation without the tears and the overwhelming feelings, but I loved how intimate it feels to share our vulnerabilities with one another. "Ah, thank god." I let out a long sigh of relief before dropping my head into the crook of her neck.
Carina clears her throat, and I can feel the tension in her muscles from my exclamation. "I've been such a nervous fucking wreck over tonight. I honestly didn't know how well I'd be able to perform under such intense pressure if that kiss went any further." I confess my secret into her hair and smile widely when I both hear and feel her chuckle. She wraps her arms around my back and shoulders, hugging me as close to her as she can while inhaling my scent.
We stay cuddled up in each other's arms until both our bodies lose the tension in them, and our heartbeats synchronise into a slow and steady rhythm. When we finally take a step away from each other, a new sense of calm has entered the space around us. "How about we go dip our feet in the water, drink some champagne and just enjoy our time together without any expectations?" She gladly accepts, offering me a hand to take my shoes off before leading me to the bean bags and picnic basket.
I smile down at her feet when I see her toes curl into the sand just before she flops down in her seat. I pop the champagne while she holds out the glasses for me to pour, plopping a fresh strawberry into it just before I sit down too. "To the most romantic night of our lives yet." She grins proudly at me before clinking her glass against mine. We both slip our feet into the cool water, sipping on our drinks and holding hands as we watch the tranquil scene on the projected screen in front.
After a while we both get hungry and start unpacking the snacks. "How many visits to the park do you owe the Becketts for tonight?" I lift her hand still linked with mine to my lips and leave a soft kiss on the back. "I wanted tonight to be just ours, so I did all of this myself. Granted, I did pick up an order from the restaurant, but Molly thinks it's just for date night since we both have the night off." I turn my back on her to grab the bottle of champagne to top our glasses up.
When I turn back, the tears have pooled in her eyes again. "You didn't have any clouds you needed help swatting away?" Her hand drifts up my leg, the snacks all but forgotten. I shake my head, smirking at how happy my words make her. "You took care of the last of my clouds last night. And if by some unfortunate reason they crawl back in, I'll come to you first to help me with them." She crawls on her knees between my legs, clawing at my thighs as she lifts herself higher to kiss me.
"It amazes me how you can still say things that takes my breath away." I push her away from me when she makes it clear her kisses are only meant to tease. She lies back down on her side in the sand, drawing hearts in front of her while gazing up at me in the most seductive way. "Feed me?" I roll my eyes, kicking a small amount of sand onto her legs before I bend over to hold the plate out to her. She blows me a kiss while biting down on the skewer, waiting to start chewing until I take my first bite too.
We end up splashing around in the pool, indulging in almost all of the content in the picnic basket, opening a new bottle of wine and sharing a few kisses that never turn passionate. At some point in the evening, Carina downloads a game on her phone that asks intimate and absurd questions to learn more about your partner. This sparks a lot of laughter between us as we are forced to confess some hilarious things about ourselves. "...wait, wait, wait! You broke Andrew's middle finger with a paintball gun? How!?" She throws her hands over her face, rolling onto her back as her laughter shakes her entire body.
"I didn't shoot him! I hated my father for buying him that stupid gun for Christmas. I had so many bruises during that holiday. And the little shit used my meticulously layered Torta Setteveli as target practice. So, in all my Italian fury I chased him down the road and ripped the toy out of his hand. How was I supposed to know his finger would get caught on the trigger?" She slaps my leg when I pull my hands away from her, pretending to protect my fingers from her. "What's a Torta Seteli?"
Her head whips up with such a speed that the water around her legs splash around. "You don't know the delicacy of a Torta Setteveli?" I repeat the new Italian word until my wife's happy with my pronunciation of it, nodding at me proudly when I beam at getting it right. "So, what is it?" Her name falls from my lips on a breathless whisper when she finally grabs hold of my hand and tuck on my pinkie with her teeth. Fuck this woman knows how to use every single one of my erogenous zones to their fullest capacity.
I steal my hand back when I can start tasting my heartbeat in my throat. She rolls her eyes, probably thinking I'm still protective over my fingers after her story. "A Torta Setteveli is an authentic Italian layered cake. It's layers of hazelnut and chocolate encased in a heavenly glaze." My mouth waters when she licks her lips like she can remember the taste of it just from the description alone. She shakes herself out of the memory, asking me for my phone on her bean bag. I hand it to her and appreciate the moment to myself to stare at all the skin she's exposed by bunching up her dress around her thighs.
Carina crawls up next to me, showing me a photo of what her favourite cake looks like. I scroll my finger down the screen, until I see the list of ingredients on a recipe linked to the photo. "I have all the ingredients in the kitchen. Want to give me a taste of a cake so good your brother almost had to lose a finger for it?" She grabs my face in her hands, standing back on her knees so she can kiss me with as much love and passion as before. She pushes me away when I moan loudly before she jumps up with a clap of her hands. "You're going to love it!" She squeals giddily all the way into the kitchen, and I follow her with the biggest smile on my face. God, I love this woman more and more.