Cassie
The next day I woke up after Emilia moved next to me in the bed and stood up. I didn't open my eyes just yet and I let my mind wake up completely. My head was aching just a little bit because I had not slept much last night but I tried to ignore the small stinging in my head. A few minutes later Emilia came back on the bed and that was when I opened my eyes to look up at her.
"Hey," she said softly. "How are you doing?"
I sat up and leaned my body against the headboard. I shrugged at her question and looked away from her. I was not over last night and it was really bothering me still that Justin had not been honest with me. I knew that I had to talk to him about it because if I didn't I was going to go crazy. I just had to know why he did what he did last night.
I felt Emilia's hands wrapping around my body and her lips pressing against my right cheek. "Babe listen, it's going to be alright. I know that this is not what you want to hear but after beating his ass and getting the truth out of him everything will be alright."
A light giggle escaped my mouth. That's why I loved Emilia, she knew how to make me smile even if I didn't feel like doing so. I hugged her back and told her I loved her, then I decided that it would be the best if I went to my room to shower and get ready and probably talk to Justin about last night.
I stood up from the bed and walked out of the room. I walked across the hall until I was standing in front of mine and Justin's bedroom. I held the door handle but I didn't open the door immediately. I was thinking about what I would say to him if he was inside the room. After a little while I just opened the door and walked inside. Justin was no where to be found. I was kind of relieved but also very disappointed that he wasn't because he could have been with her at this very moment. For all I know he could have kissed her when I left and then they spent the night together. Cassie, stop thinking about that. I sighed and made my way to the bathroom so I just could relax under the shower...
After my shower I walked out of the bathroom and there was still no sign of Justin. I glanced at my phone and it was a few minutes after noon. I had no idea where he could be because he never told me something.
I went into my closet and picked out some really comfortable clothes because I was not going anywhere today. I was not in the mood to do anything anyway. When I was fully dressed I stepped out of the closet and walked to the mirror to look at my own reflection. I had bags under my eyes and I looked so exhausted even though I had just taken a shower to freshen myself up. I stared at my reflection for a while and all of the sudden my face started changing and I narrowed my eyes because I had no idea what was going on. Then it was not my own reflection looking back at me but it was Liliana's. She had an evil smirk on her face and her eyes were filled with hatred.
"I will always be better than you," her voice rang through my ears. Then she laughed at me and the sentence kept repeating in my head. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to get her voice out of it but it didn't work. I dropped my head and brought my hands up to cover my ears because I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear her.
"No," I whispered and shook my head harder than before and finally her voice disappeared. I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head to look at the mirror and I was relieved when I was looking at myself again. "Fuck," I cussed under my breath. She was really getting inside my head. I really tried to deny what she had said to me but the sad thing was that deep down I actually believed that she was better than me.
After a while I heard the door of our bedroom open and the beat of my heart picked up because I knew that it was Justin. His voice rang through the room because he was talking to someone on the phone. I turned around so I could face him and our eyes met. He smiled a little bit but I kept my lips in a firm line. He continued talking to the person on the phone while he slowly came towards me but I really wanted him to stay just were he was.
Justin hung up a few moments later and then he brought his attention to me and smiled. "Hey my beautiful girl."
Of course he was going to act like nothing happend. He was not even guilty for lying. If I had never followed him I would be jumping in his arms and kiss him and we would just go on like always. I guess some things just happen for a reason. "Don't talk to me," I replied sharply and walked away from him.
Justin was fast though because he grabbed my wrist and pulled me a bit so that I turned a little and faced him again. His brows were furrowed and he was giving me a confusing look because he obviously didn't know what was going on. "What is wrong, baby?" he asked, the corners of his lips going down in a frown.
I tried to escaped from his grip by flicking my wrist but he wouldn't let me go and his grip tightend around my wrist. "Let me go."
"No," he refused to and tried to pull me closer to him. "Not until you tell me what is wrong."
"You know what's wrong? You and Liliana meeting in the middle of the night when you told me you were going out with your friends. That is wrong," I spat. Justin eyes started to go wide and he looked like someone who had been caught doing something bad. His grip around my wrist loosend and I took the possibility to yank my hand away and walk a few steps away from him.
"How do you know?" Justin asked his voice coming out in a whisper. That was really how he was going to defend himself?
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you lied to my face."
"Listen Cassie, I didn't mean to lie to you," Justin sighed and ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the ends lightly.
"Oh but you did and I wanna know why," I said, crossing my arms in front of my body and raising my eyebrow, waiting for him to answer me.
"I lied to you because I didn't want you to react like you do right now and because," Justin stopped himself, his voice trailing off but I knew what he wanted to say.
"Because you thought I would never find out," I finished for him and when I didn't get an answer I knew I was right. "Wow," I scoffed and turned around to walk out of the door. I was not doing this.
"Cassie please don't be mad," I heard him say when I was about to walk out and I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at him.
"Mad? Justin I'm beyond furious you couldn't even comprehend," I spat, feeling the anger boil in my body. Did he really think that I was going to be okay with all that?
"You have to understand that Liliana and I are only friends and nothing more," Justin said, slightly getting frustrated with me.
"Of course she is that's why she tried to kiss you because that's what friends do," I huffed and rolled my eyes. Justin furrowed his eyebrows because he had no idea what I was talking about but then his eyes opened steadily in realization and he opened his mouth to speak.
"Wait you followed us?" he asked confused.
"Yes. I'm gonna be straight up honest with you, I did," I answered him. Why would I lie to him? I had to tell him sooner or later that I saw them together and I prefered sooner rather and later.
"Why would you do that?" he questioned, the confusion still visible in his face.
"Because I had to know why you rather lie to your girlfriend."
"That's why you had to follow me? Unbelievable," he scoffed, shaking his head. I turned his head a bit to the side and then he let out a laugh in disbelief.
"You are the one who is unbelievable here. Don't try to turn this on me," I snapped and pointed at myself and Justin turned to me.
"I know that you were mad when you found out about Liliana and I but you could have just confronted me like you do now. There was no need to follow us," he snapped back and squinted his eyes in anger at me.
"Why justin? You pissed because I heard everything you said?" I asked him and he opened his mouth to say something but he closed it right immediately because he had nothing to say so I kept talking. "Like, that Liliana is your first love or that I found out that you lied at me some more?" I asked another question but I didn't give him time to answer and walked closer to him. "For example when you said that I was the first you took to the woods? Well you lied but that doesn't bother me much but it's just a damn public place that means nothing and that I hate."
"But remember when I asked you if Liliana was your ex or some hook up from the past? Do you remember what you said me?" I questioned, this time giving him enough time to answer but instead he teared his gaze away from me to look to the side. "You told me that I didn't have to worry about her because she's nothing but a friend. You looked in my eyes and lied to me," I said, my voice cracking at the end. I was at the verge of crying again but I tried hard to keep the tears in. I brought my hand up to his cheek and tilted his head so that he was looking at me. "When did it become so easy for you to lie?"
Justin didn't answer me and tried to look everywhere but into my eyes. It was like he had lost the ability to speak. He wasn't answering me because he either didn't know what to say or he knew that I was right and he had no idea how to defend himself. "Answer this one question and please be honest with me," I demanded and Justin gave me a nod to agree to answering and I elaborated, "did you kiss her?"
Justin looked into my eyes for a moment and then he spoke up. "no I didn't."
I tried to find any traits of a lie in his eyes but I couldn't find any the longer I stared at him. I believed him and I hoped that he was not lying because if he was I had no idea what it would mean of us. Because I had nothing else to say I walked two steps back and then I completely turned around and left the room, leaving him standing there.
Justin
Could someone please explain to me what the hell just happend because I failed to comprehend what was going on.
Okay, I had fucked up and lied to her but I never thought that she would find out and if she did I never thought it would be that quick. I knew that I never should have lied to her in the first place but that felt like the only right thing to do but I couldn't be that right if she was beyond mad at me right now. God, my decision was so good damn stupid.
Emilia had probably something to do with this. She definitely had something to do with this because how else did Cassie find out that I met Lily? No one else in the house knew. I didn't even tell Lucas and he's my best friend. Emilia probably heard my conversation with Lily before she came down the stairs and told Cassie everything. How stupid of me to think that she was actually going to keep quiet and not snitch on me. I would do the same if my best friend was concerned so why wouldn't she?
Despite the fact that I was not truthful about what I was doing and where I was going last night I didn't regret going out with Lily because I just had a great time with her and spending a few hours with her was not so bad as it seemed. Maybe the flirting was an issue in our friendship but that was something that could be fixed in no time and if I talked to Lily about it she would totally understand. I also hoped that Cassie would understand that there was only friendship between Lily and I because if I wanted more, I would have gotten more already.
I was so upset about Cassie following me. Maybe she had trust issues but why would she so something like that? I mean sneaking up on me was just not fucking fair. She was not meant to hear anything I had said last night. The thing about Lily being my first love, well, none of them were supposed to know about it and I tried so hard to keep it a secret and I did a good job but last night it just slipped out when I was talking go Lily and Cassie happend to be there too. Wasn't that fucking amazing? And the fact that Cassie now knew that Lily and I used to be almost together was going to make her see Lily as a bigger competition and that's what I wanted to avoid. I didn't want her to worry about anything that's why I kept quiet but she wouldn't understand. Maybe I should have just told her what was going on from the beginning because then we wouldn't be in this situation right now.
Me and my fucking stupid decisions.
I sat down on the bed and ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends lightly because I was so frustrated and because I was a dumbass. I had lied to my girlfriend twice in her face with no problem and that was not okay.
I heard someone knock on my door twice and shortly after that person opened the door. It was Lily, she was peaking her head through the door.
"Hey Justin," she said quietly. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, yeah come in," I told her, waving her over to me.
Lily stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her and then she made her way to me. She sat down next to me on the bed and looked at the side of my face. "Are you okay?" she asked me.
"Fine," I answered her, keeping my voice low.
"You sure?" She asked me concerned but I didn't want her to worry about so I looked at her and smiled.
"Yeah."
"You seem really tense and upset," she noticed and she brought her hand to my shoulder to message it slightly. "I saw Cassie a few minutes ago and she looked upset too. Did you two have a fight?"
"We just had an misunderstanding," I lied to her because I was not going to tell her that the reason we fought was far from a misunderstanding. "Nothing that can't be handled."
"Oh okay," she spoke and I could see that she tried hard not smile because she didn't want me and Cassie together and every fight between us was probably a step closer to get to me. "If you wanna talk about it you know that you can always talk to me right Justin?"
"Yeah I know. Thank you, Lily." I said, smiling at her even though I would never tell her the she was partly the reason of our fight.
"Okay now. You can't be moping all day. Let's go somewhere and do something fun," she suggested but I didn't think of it as a good idea. Of course I wouldn't hang out with her when I just had a fight with my girlfriend because of her. I didn't need more drama than I already had and if I decided to hang out with her now and Cassie would hear about it then she would explode and that would definitely not be pretty.
"I can't," I shook my head, declining her offer. "I have plans actually. I'm going to meet my mom," I said to her. I didn't have plans on meeting my mom but right now it seemed more than necessary because being with her would be less stressful than being in his house right now.
"Oh alright," she pursed her lips and gave me a disapponted look. "Well then we'll do it another time."
"Sure." I answered her and gave her a sly smile because I was not in the mood to smile right now.
Liliana stood up and walked to the door. She opened it and looked back to me over her shoulder, "have fun with your mom," she said and before I could thank her she was gone.
•
I pulled up at the front door of my parents house in the same afternoon and I hopped out of my car, closing the door of the drivers side. A few minutes after Liliana had left my room I left to go to my parents house. I had enough time to think on my way here and I thought about what I should do next and how I was going to handle the situation. I actually had a plan, well I thought I did, but I wanted to ask my mom for advice because mothers always know best, right?
I walked over to the door while I stuffed my keys in the back of my jeans and when I stood in front of the door I rang the bell, waiting for the door to be opened. A little while later the door opened and the small frame of my beautiful mother appeared behind it. She smiled at me when she noticed that it was me standing at the door and she walked a step forward so she could pull me into a hug.
"Hey Justin," she said happily. "I didn't know you were coming."
"It was kinda a last minute decision but I needed to see you," I said, pulling away and looking down into her eyes.
"How are you. Is everything okay?" she asked, the smile on her face being replaced with a frown and her look becoming worried.
"It is, kind of ..." I trailed off and my mom took me by the hand and walked towards the door.
"Come on let's go inside and talk about it there okay?" she said snd I simply nodded, following her into the house. We walked through the hall inside the living-room and I took a seat on couch. My mom disappeared in the kitchen for a second and came back with a bottle of cold water and two glasses for the both of us.
"Where is everyone?" I asked her because I had noticed that it was extremely quiet in the house.
"Your father is working. Jaxon is playing with friends outside and Jazzy is reading in her bedroom," she answered me while she lifted the glasses from the table and poured water inside.
"Okay." I said and thanked her after she gave me my glass of water which I took a sip from.
"So what is going on?" Mom asked me.
Putting the glass back on the table I turned to look at her, "I had a fight with Cassie."
"Because?" she urged.
"I lied to her and she found out. I actually lied more than once," I told her and I felt a bit ashamed of telling her this but I had to if I wanted her to help me.
"Justin!" my mother gasped and brought on her hands to her chest. "Didn't I raise you to always tell the-" she began but stopped herself before she could finish the sentence. I knew what she was going to say. "I'm sorry," she apologized sadly and turned her face a bit to the side.
Knowing that my mother what to tell me that she was the one that taught me to be honest all the time and then stopped because she realized that she didn't raise me half of my life made me sad because I knew how impotant is was to her to raise me but then I was taken away and she couldn't. But after all she was the one who taught me the most impotant things when I was younger and if I didn't know those I had no idea how I would have survided forster care so she did play a big part in my life before I moved to Miami.
"No it's okay mom. You know you did," I said, taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. "Remember when I was eight and I was lying about everything and you grounded me in the worst way to make me behave?" I asked her, chuckling and I was her giggling at the memory and that was good because I wanted to brighten the mood a little.
See when I was younger I always used to steal candy and what not and every time my parents asked me about it I lied and pretended like I knew nothing. Or when I was out with friends and I did something wrong I always blamed them so I wouldn't get in trouble and it worked every single time but then my mother caught me and grounded me for two weeks. The took away all my favorite things like toys and I was not allowed to get my favorite candy and I couldn't see my friends outside school and they were not allowed to come to my house. I doesn't seem that bad but for an eight year old boy it was a big deal, believe it or not.
"How could I forget. You were so difficult Justin," she said and shook her head.
"I know," I replied. I really was a pain in the ass, "but I'm grown now." My mom smiled and told me that she was proud of the man that I have become.
"Okay so back to Cassie why did you lie to her?" My mother asked, making me remember why I came here in the first place.
"Because I saw it as the only possible reason to avoid drama but looks like drama caught up to me," I closer my eyes for a second and sighed.
"And what was the exact reason?"
"Another girl," I said and my mother gave me a look as if asking me to elaborate so I did. "Well there is this girl I know from when I lived in Miami and turned out that she lives here in L.A as well. We live in the same house actually because I live there together with some friends of mine. Last night she wanted to hang out with me because of old times and I agreed to meet with her but I told Cassie that I was going out with my boys."
"But Justin why would you lie to her about that?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows because she didn't get my motive. "You should have just told her what you were going to do."
"I couldn't. Cassie and Liliana, that's the name of the girl by the way, they don't like each other at all," I let her know.
"Okay and why do you want to be with the other girl if you know that Cassie doesn't like her? You know girls get jealous easily," she said to me and shrugged on of her shoulders. I know how girls could be, oh believe me I knew but I had never seen the jealous side of her and this was so new to me.
"Because I like Liliana mom but just as a friend. We spent a lot of time back in Miami. She was my first love," I responded.
"And that it exactly the reason why you shouldn't be around her," my mother said as if it was supposed to be obvious to me. "Does Cassie know about it?"
"Yeah. She found out last night because she followed us and she heard everything we said including that." I said and my mother looked at me like she was ready to scold the hell out of me but she took a deep breath instead and asked another question.
"Do you have an idea what you want to do now?"
"I wanna talk to Cassie again and apologize for lying of course and I also wanna make her understand that I just want friendship with Lily." I knew that Lily and I had no contact for five years but now that we were in each other lives again I want to try to at least be her friend since a relationship didn't work out between us. "I don't want to lose her as a friend you know."
"I understand but you also have to understand Cassie and why she is acting the way she is. I mean it's not like she's going against some ex girlfriend in the past no she is going against your first love and we all know what they say about the first love," my mom tried to make me understand and I got her point but only because Lily was the first girl I loved it didn't mean that I was going to fall back in love with her. It was years ago since I had anything with Lily.
"Yeah but Cassie is the one I love now," I cried out frustrated.
"That might be true honey but that's not what she is thinking about. She thinks about the fact that you loved Liliana in the past and there might be a chance that you could go back together."
"But that won't happen," I said, sure of my words. I loved Cassie and I was going to be with her.
"You have to make Cassie believe that and Liliana as well. Also you have to set your priotities straight and in this case it should be Cassie."
But Cassie already was my priority in everything. Like when I went to Italy after her graduation to gain money I didn't do it for me but for her only. Or when I came looking for and asked her to come to L.A with me it was just so she could get away from her brother because she wanted it so badly but now that I did one mistake I'm not doing it right anymore?
"This is so complicated," I groaned and ran my hands through my hair, pulling at the ends lightly like I did so many times today because this shit was seriously fucking with my head.
"Yeah and you got yourself into this mess when you lied to your girlfriend my son. Now you have to find a way to get your ass out of it."
"And what is your advice on how I am supposed to do that?" I asked her because I had really no idea what to do at this point.
"Talk to Cassie. Apologize. I'm not saying that you should stop being friends with Liliana but you should definitely be less around her and more around Cassie. You will make the right decision," she said to me and brought her hand to my cheek and run her thumb against it.
"Okay. I'll just see what I will do about it but right now I don't want to think about it," I answered her and dismissed the subject. I was thankful that she took her time to listen to my problems and help me out. I would just think about everything she said later and try to make up my mind about what I was going to do at the end but right now I wanted to get this subject out of my head for a while and now that I was here I could just spend some time with my family.
"Alright what do you want to do instead?" Mom asked me and looked at me with her big eyes, waiting for my answer.
"Let's get Jazzy and Jaxon if he wants to and go to Hollywood to do some shopping." I suggested.
"Hollywood?" Mom asked, her eyes widening a bit. "Honey you know that we can't afford to go shopping there."
"Of course we can. It's on me ma, don't worry. Just get the kids and let's go," I said to her. I didn't mind spending my money on them. They were my family so that made them my resposibility and I knew that they never had the opportunity to get whatever they wanted and I just wanted to make that possible for them.
"Thank you Justin," she said to me and then she came closer to me and hugged me. "This is just too much."
"It's okay," I said to her and kissed her cheek.
"I love you, you know that right?" she said, looking up to me. I could still get used to hear her say that to me.
Looking down at her, I smiled wide. "I love you too, mom."