"So are you going to say why we're going over there or?...", I asked annoyed. These bitches had perfect timing for getting on my nerves.
He knuckled the steering wheel and sighed, "no Royaal, I'm not." His words were cold and blunt, they hit me like a breeze on a cold winter's day.
"Kst...Okay then", I snared. I took out my phone and began scrolling on instagram. The energy radiating off of me was explosive, I was ready to argue.
He mumbled a few words to himself under his breath.
"What was that?", I asked sharply.
"Nothing man, I wasn't talking to you", he snapped back. He knew navigating this conversation would be like a landmine field right now.
He whipped the car down the highway and it felt like we got to the girls condo in no time. We pulled up to the outdoor visitors parking. He grabbed his phone before opening this door.
"I'll be back, I won't be too long", he said, refusing to make eye contact with me. The annoyance was written all over his face.
"Mhmm", I mumbled back.
"Would you like to come upstairs Royaal? You absolutely can, but you can't bring this shit attitude with you." He stood there holding the door open and putting the ball in my court. He knew I didn't want to go upstairs and I didn't want HIM to go upstairs either. And now I just look like a brat, that's trying to be difficult.
"So?", he asked, staring at me waiting for an answer.
"Just try not to be long man", I rolled my eyes and shuffled into my seat with my phone. I wasn't ready to meet the girls, especially like this.
He chuckled and shook his head, "don't say I didn't fucking try." He shut the door and started walking to the condo.
I connected my phone to the bluetooth and tried to put on some music, but I couldn't decide on a song. I could feel the overthinking ushering in. The regret was starting to weigh heavy, maybe I should've gone but I wasn't ready. He's obviously not doing bullshit with them if he invited me to come up. And now, I just look like the one that doesn't want to cooperate and get in where I fit in. He's asked me a few times to meet the girls and I keep declining him, now I look like the one with the problem.
"Ughhh, what is it Royaal? I thought this is what you wanted, a nigga to be honest for once" I asked myself out loud, banging my head against the dashboard.
It's like everytime we're about to get lost in a real moment, these bitches come up and remind me of reality. They have perfect timing for interrupting, they coincidently need their daddy.
"It's quite annoying", I said out loud.
I put on some drake and reclined the seat back, almost crushing my Holts bag. I quickly grabbed it and placed the bag on my lap.
"We were just minding our damn business today then boom, here comes the bitches again", I said looking over the dress. I was spiraling and my thoughts were getting the best of me. I put the dress back into the bag and placed the bag back in the backseat.
"Holy shit.. This is what the bitches who fall in love with their pimps sound like... I need to get a grip, I do not love this man", I said trying to convince myself.
Bam emerged from the condo and headed towards the car. He opened the door, hopped in and threw the car into drive without saying a word. I kept side glancing at him to see if he looked disheveled or anything, but nothing was off beside his attitude. He pulled out and drove back towards the highway, with his eyebrow furrowed together.
"You good?", I asked.
"Yeah, my bad if I took long", he said in a detached voice. It didn't really feel like he was here in the car with me, his mind was definitely somewhere else.
"Nah, you actually didn't take that long", I comforted him. I twiddle my fingers, not knowing what to say to fill in the empty space. I wanted him to open up to me, I wanted to open up to him but I already made it clear I wasn't trying to hear about anything bitches related. I had to sit in the hole I dug for myself.
"My bad about earlier, I just... I get it, when they need you, you have to go. That's just how it works."
He sighed, "if you only knew... It's aight though." He pulled his eyes away from the road quickly to look at me.
We eventually pulled into the parking garage and got out of the car. We didn't exchange not one word the rest of the ride and as we walked upstairs to the condo. When we got inside, I put my dress and stuff away and Bam went and poured himself a drink. I decided to go shower and get comfortable. I asked if he wanted to join me but he said not this time. He had some business he had to take care of on the phone. He kissed my forehead and went to go sit on the couch.
I couldn't stop the overthinking in the shower. The thoughts flooded my brain as the water ran down my body. Maybe the lines are getting too blurred? What happened when he went to the girls place? He seemed so distracted in his thoughts. Maybe he regrets not dealing with me like his other bitches? But he wasn't going to open up and tell me about it, with the way I've been acting. We've gotten to a weird place, this doesn't feel like just business.
How long have I been in love with this man? Am I in love with this man? Cause why am I trippin that he's doing regular pimp shit and he's a pimp? He's even doing irregular pimp shit, by letting me have so much power and say. And I haven't worked at the strip for him not even once yet... It makes me think he may be in love with me too?... Man, I don't fucking know anymore.
I let the water pour on me and try to wash away everything in my mind. I stayed in the shower for a while, trying to let it cleanse me. When I got out of the washroom, he was still on the phone. But he ended his conversation quickly after.
"Want to watch a movie or something?", he offered. He was getting comfortable laying down on the couch.
"Sure", I said walking over to him. I laid my body beside his on the couch, I could feel his heart beating kind of fast.
"Ey, you sure you're good?" I asked, defeated.
"Yeah I'm good, just got a lot on my mind."
"Are we good?..And you know, we can talk about it", I suggested.
"It's aight, we're good, I just want to watch a movie with you right now." He said, kissing the back of my head.
"You sure?", I offered one last time.
"Yeah hush, come", he said, pulling me closer into him. He scrolled through the variety of netflix movies till we found one we liked.
The next few days were weird, he didn't invite me on his trips. He was out during the day and at home by the night, but it was as if he wasn't here, distracted as fuck. I kept trying to get him to open up but he wouldn't. Ever since he went out that night, he's been off. I couldn't help but think something happened, as much as I didn't want to. But what, and why wouldn't he just tell me?
It was Thursday morning, the morning of my birthday. I rolled over and my leg kicked something off the bed.
"I think you did that on purpose you know", Bam soft voice pierced through my sleepy state. Subtly bringing me back from my dream to his condo. I rubbed my eye, bringing myself back into reality.
"Huuuuuuh?", I yawned and stretched.
He chuckled, "happy birthday mama". He leaned down to grab the present and placed it back on the bed whilst kissing my head.
"Oh my gosh, it is my birthday isn't it?", I asked foggy as fuck. I quickly sprung forward, realizing the gift was for me. "And you got me a gift?", I asked as I scavenged through the pink tissue paper.
"You didn't think I would?", he laughed, with his eyebrows twisted in confusion.
"I thought my party and the dress and stuff was my present, to be honest." I paused, grabbing at the tissue paper and looked him straight in his eyes. We've been so at odds lately, I honestly thought he was getting sick of me.
"They are... It doesn't have to be one or the other", he said, pushing the gift bag closer to me.
I finished pulling out the pink tissue paper and took out a pink rectangular box. It had Versace engraved on it, I looked up at Bam and smirked. I took off the box's lid and saw the cutest pink Versace robe waiting for me.
I couldn't help but to let out a sigh of joy, "nooo you didn't!".
"Try it on and make sure it fits", he motioned.
I jumped up off the bed and ran to the closet. I slipped on the pale pink terry robe and danced around the mirror.
"It looks good on you", he said leaning against the doorframe watching me act a fool.
"I love it", I said, running over to him and giving him a kiss. "And it's pink!"
"Your favorite color, no?"
"You're fucking right", I said smothering him with kisses.
He grabbed the back of my head and forced my mouth into his. His other hand pulled my body closer into him. His enjoyment started to become pronounced in his shorts. I shoved my tongue in his mouth as he grabbed on my ass.
"I appreciate everything you're doing for me to make me feel special on my birthday", I said, pulling my face away to look at him.
"You are special Royaal", he said, kissing me on the forehead. "So what does the birthday girl want for breakfast?"
"You", I said, staring into his eyes. The imprint of his dick against me, started to make me wet. Without losing eye contact, I took off my pants. I glared at him as I slid to my knees and started taking out his dick.
I wrapped my lips around him and took as much of him into my mouth as I could. We were in passionate unison, his groans in alignment with my moans. He grabbed the back of my head and slowed down my rhythm. I looked up at him in appeasement and ran my tongue down the side of him.
"Mmm", he groaned and grabbed my arm. He pulled me up and walked us over to the mirror. Eyes locked onto me, he spun me around and inserted himself inside.
"Fuuccccck", I yelled out as he spread my walls.
"You feel so fucking good, every time."
He wrapped his big hands around my neck and caressed it with every stroke. With my face pressed up against the mirror, I let him take control.
"You're not fucking going anywhere."
"Never baby", I gasped.
"That's right, say it again."
"I'm not going anywhere", I mouthed out.
He bent my neck back and ran his tongue across my lips, "I fucking know."
I shivered and surrendered my body to him, I was about to cum. I stood there, suspended in time and space, face pressed against the mirror, losing myself in him. He finished and was barely able to escape, releasing on the floor.
"Holyyy fuckkkk", he shouted, hunching over, catching his breath.
"Happy birthday to me", I mumbled.
"Wheewww", he sighed as he walked towards the washroom. He came back into the closet with a cloth, "I can't even lie you almost had me girl".
"That's why sex is bad, cause it feels so good, I didn't care at that moment", I laughed.
He chuckled, wiping up his mess off the floor, "come shower with me."
I took off the remaining of my clothes and walked to the washroom. I turned on the shower and waited till it got a little hot to step in.
"So, after we eat... You're going to get your hair and nails done right?", he asked, stepping into the shower with me.
"Yeah, I have my hair appointment at 10:30am, and then my nails after that. She said I can come in anytime today and she'll put me next, cause I have my birthday coupon." I said, doing a little birthday dance. "So can you drop me for-"
"I'm not going to be able to drop you, so Biz is going to take you around today." He looked away, grabbing his cloth to start washing his body.
"Wait, you can't drop me on my birthday? Foreeal? You don't have to stay but like-"
"I wish I could, but I have some business I need to handle to make sure tonight goes smoothly Royaal. Biz is going to drop you wherever you need to go okay? He's not even allowed to complain or make any smart remarks cause it's your day." He grabbed the sides of my face to force me to look at him.
"I dont want to be with Biz, I want to be with you, the fuck!" I yelled, pushing away his hands. "I don't know what the fuck I was thinking", I said angrily and stepping out of the shower.
"Everytime I think and start to feel, like yeah you know what, maybe I'm more than his hoe. Maybe we.. Maybe we have more than just a fucking pimp and hoe relationship, i'm reminded." I said, shaking my head, with tears in my eyes. "I'm the dumb one here, fooling myself thinking it's different with us. Cause we're fucking and kissing and it feels like more than just fucking business. If I'm just your hoe, then just treat me like your other girls" I yelled, tears were flowing down my cheeks.
"Royaal, Pablo's back in the city."