Farhan went numb at that question.
Qasim's voice ringed in his ears. He suddenly realized that he had unwillingly lowered his shield down in front of his friend. No it was not the others he was hiding himself from, rather it was himself from who he wanted to hide. "
In the past few weeks he had realized that it throughout the last two years he had been lying to himself. He had tried a lot but he still missed her.
The truth was an ugly one, which it made it even m ore difficult to accept it. However in the end acquiescently he had accepted that because of one huge mistake his . her or theirs he did not know but because of that he had to let go of the love of his life.
"Farhan ! Tell me the truth" questioned Qasim and he was finally brought back from his thoughts as he heard the raised voice. His face went pale as he realized that he let down his guard which he was holding onto for so long. He felt very weak and forlorn in that moment, for letting down his guard.
He suddenly stood up and said "I think it is time for me to leave, it is already quite late'
"Farhan you cannot just leave without answering my question."
Farhan just started to walk away hastily, sweating, completely ignoring Qasim. His mind was running fast as if on a high speed treadmill.
Qasim rushed behind him, but not before paying the bill and rushed behind his friend. However Farhan was too fast. Then just as Farhan was standing at the door of the cafe, about the cross the door, at that moment he shouted "What if she is riding the same boat ? What if she feels the same about your relationship?"
Just as Farhan heard those words, he froze at where he was standing. He then looked back at Qasim, gravely looked at him with an expression that Qasim could not interpret, and then again he started walking away, more swiftly this time.
Just then Qasim remembered that he had come with Farhan in his car. "Oh boy ! Why did I come in the car with him ? This angry bird will leave me here, if I don't rush " he comically thought thought to himself. He had done that before , he could do that again.
It was Farhan's one of old habits. He would become that swaggering and obnoxious young man when he was angry. On the outside that made him look suave and super hot, similar to that arrogant hero from movies which would have girls drooling over him. But for Qasim it meant consequences. He rolled his eyes and rushed before Farhan forgot him and left him at the cafe. He dashed towards the parking. He was a little surprised when he saw Farhan waiting for him in the car.
Farhan had put on his shades, and the expressions on his face were cold. Just as Qasim sat in the car, Farhan pushed the acclerator took a sharp turn, almost frightening the life out of Qasim.
"What in the world are you trying to do Farhan ? Why are you bent on giving me a heart attack" shouted an excited Qasim as Farhan took another sharp turn.
Qasim just stared at him giving him an you are impossible type expression, which Farhan noticed in the rear veiw mirror. He did not even look at him but a small smile escaped his lips, taking another sharp turn.
Throughout the ride, Qasim tried to speak to Farhan many times but everytime he tried, Farhan refused to speak to him, rather he would just accelerate the car to dangerous speed levels.
"Brother you might not love your life, but I very much want to live, Slow down the car man" murmured Qasim.
"Did you say anything" asked Farhan feigning innocence, as his feet hit the accelrator once again.
Farhan's rash driving was giving his friend nightmares in daylight.
Soon they reached Qasim's home and he got down. "Thank god I am safe. I thought you were definitely going to kill me today" "Thank god, I am safe" said Qasim dramatically.
However Farhan did not reply. He continued looking ahead on the road.
Qasim sighed and wished his friend a goodbye, which Farhan returned with a nonchalant adieu.
As soon as Qasim got down, Farhan zoomed his straight towards his home.
As his car speedily disappeared Qasim prayed that his friend would reach his home alive and uninjured. He then took a deep breath as he walked upsatirs. "Thank god atleast, I am safe"
On the other hand, some miles away, a woman was relentlessly throwing away books from a shelf. The huge pile of book that was continuously increasing as Urwa was throwing more books. This pile of books looked very much out of place in the enormous otherwise spotless living room. If you kept aside the pile of books, the living room was exceptionally organized with everything in just its perfect place, with not even a speck of dust. It was almost a piece of art, with aesthetics done right.
Soon all the books from the shelf were on the floor. Urwa took a wipe cloth and vigorously started cleaning the glass sliding of the the shelf. It was already very clear, however the woman continued scrubbing it furiously.
For a moment she looked into the reflection that was casted on the glass. For a moment she saw another flickering reflection of a face, which immediately disappeared.
It was not a reflection, it was just her mind playing tricks. And she again vigorously started to clean the glass shelf. The reflection/image again flickered in front of her eyes and disappeared.
"No ! I don't want to think about you" Urwa screamed to herself or rather to the man in the reflection and banged her hand on the shelf very loudly. She then again started scrubbing the glass wall.
She was angry, resentful and sad.
"I don't want to see your face" she kept murmuring to herself.
Urwa was emotionally disturbed. Her unexpected meet with Farhan had greatly disturbed her. The brief eye contact that she made with him, she couldn't believe that Farhan, her husband ,or maybe her ex-husband had suddenly appeared in front of her. It was as if that the small brief eye contact she made with him was leading to the break down of all the walls she had built inside her. Was she so sensitive , she questioned herself.
Today had already been a very difficult day for her too and she had gathered herself with a lot of courage, but a few minutes of mutual gaze with him was doing her more harm than she thought. She though she had moved on. Then why wasn't she able to divert her mind ?
Finally she left the scrub and sat down on the couch, with her hands on her head.
She was feeling sorrowful and uneasy. She was in turmoil. She couldn't understand why she was feeling so restless. She continued rubbing her head trying to figure out her emotions. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, but it did not help her. Her mind was stuck on him. She was fidgeting with her hands and was extremely restless. "But why" she questioned herself. Her mind couldn't understand but her heart knew. If she would listen to her heart, she could decipher her emotions and her sorrow. But she did not want to listen to it, because that would require her to face the truth which she had been trying to escape.
No she was not a person that would run away from difficult situations, but thinking about Farhan made her heart both smile and ache at the same time. So She did not want to think about him. But she couldn't stop her mind from doing so.
She continued thinking as she laid on the couch, resting her head on the headrest. A strange longing that reflected in her eyes. The cheerful and bright smile, which always adorned her lips was no more there. It had been taken over by a grim and serious persona.
So much changed with one fight.
He still mattered to her as much as he did years ago. He was the person that her heart still longed for. But her mind always countered it. She had convinced herself that she had moved on. Indeed she had moved on, or so she thought. Teardrops glistened in her eyes, but she swallowed them back. However few of them escaped her eyes, despite her best efforts.
She spent the entire evening trying to distract herself with different activities, But nothing was helping. She then tried calling her friend, but she did not pick up her call. Finally she switched on the TV, and increased the volume to deafening loudness so as to distract her mind which finally helped.
Farhan on the other hand was once in again deep thoughts recalled his conversation with Qasim. "No" that was the only word he kept saying to himself. How could he break down in front of his friend. Those walls that he had built around him had collapsed. "Why, Oh why did he agree to talk to come and meet him" he mentally cursed himself.
"She meant or she still means to you" those words of Qasim , kept ringing in his ears.
.But that was not the only thing where his mind was stuck. There was something else too that was even more bothersome for him.
Back in his room , lying on his bed he was continuously scrolling through different pages on Instagram on his phone. He came across the usual many fanpages and other accounts. The love people showered on him was immense and he truly valued that. He would generally spare some time and made efforts to show his appreciation towards all those fans by either sharing their stories or replying to their messages. But today He was just aimlessly scrolling all over the pages, as if searching for something particular, but what , even he didn't know.
Most of the fanpages, had posted scenes from his recent show, which had been a massive hit among the people. His chemistry with his co-actress was very much loved. While the other posts were his pictures and edits from his photoshoots or ad campaigns. He kept scrolling through those pages, liking on or two of them.
He also read some comments as he went though his instagram. Some of those comments disappointed him as people had commented on his personal life and had made some assumptions about his personal life. But he just scrolled past them, not paying much attention.
Suddenly a post caught his eye, and an ecstatic smile escaped his lips. It was a beautiful edit with a romantic song . But that was not what caught his attention. The video was dedicated to him and Urwa and that was the reason behind that rarely genuine smile. It was tagged #Urhan.
"This is so sweet. So people still ship us together" thought Farhan to himself. He knew that most people had been aware of their seperation inspite of either of them not making any public statement. However he also knew that he was more liked for his on-screen chemistry with the other actresses he had worked with, by most people. So this video made him happy.
The edit actually contained some clips from his wedding video with Urwa and their other moments which they had posted on social media. He immediately liked the post. As he browsed further, he came across a few more edits of him and Urwa. These videos had his heart.
You know often we forget to appreciate or notice the small things in life , the small gestures that others do for among the other big things, the same thing was for Farhan. But his fans, they were so observant, every little or big action of his would not go unnoticed or uninterpreted. Even Urwa enjoyed an equally massive following, so any moments of them together, in public were always in the eyes of people. They had to be very conscious of their behaviour. Sometimes it did get annoying after he had realized how each action was noticed by his keen fans. And when these fans , would put videos and glimpses from it, up on social media highlighting a particular incident or moment of him and Urwa together, like him holding the door for her , or maybe videos of them making eye-conatcts, he would realize that how each gesture of them, for each other was full of utmost care and affection.
That post made him smile, but it was the comments section below that grabbed his attention. As he read the comments below he got infuriated.
Some of the users and so called fans had spewed so much hate against Urwa, because they thought that Urwa was "unfit" and a "mismatch" for Farhan. Some people had gone up to the extent of putting various allegations on Urwa. This angered him. There were some comments that showered their love, but many of them were just by trolls.
As he went through the commetn section, his anger knew no bounds;.
"Urwa is such a loser, she doesn't deserve Farhan. He looks much better with Hania. Anyways he seems happier without that ugly bitch"
"Urwa is such a cheapster. Her dressing is also so provoking. It must be because of her bold and revealing dressing that Farhan divorced that slut. Despite marrying Farhan, she did not quit acting. No man would want want their wife to romance another man. That's why they seperated, due tot that woman" read the disgusting comment.
What Nonsense. People cannot differentiate between real and reel" he though to himself.
"Urwa is such a bad actress. She is spoiling the name of the whole industry. She is loose character. She has seduced almost every director and producer. Filthy woman She is the reason why our country is getting polluted.
"I am so happy Urwa and Farhan are divorced. That vulgar and hideous Urwa never deserved Farhan, finally Farhan had the sense to divorce her. I am sure he must have thrown a huge party after his separation with that "
"Urwa is so cheap and characterless. She has tricked many directors and slept with many of them to escalate in her career. She is cheap. She tricked Farhan too."
Any many more.
"How dare they? Just how dare they to comment on His wife. And then they call themselves his fans. "How dare anyone call 'his wife' characterless' ! "
"Ex-wife" came a voice from the back of his head"
"No how dare they comment on 'my wife', he countered his inner voice.
Enraged would be an understatement. He just felt like thrashing those people. You could literally feel the fire in his eyes.
"Just how dare they !" he though to himself.
Infuriated, he banged his hand twice on the wooden table beside his bed, without realising that a rusty nail on the table had been loosened with its corner slightly upraised. And as he banged his hand on that table, the nail pierced right through his palm. Yes, that was the amount of force, he had thrusted his hand with.
"Aaah" escaped a shout from his mouth. He immediately jerked away his hand. Blood was oozing out from the freshly cut on his palm. It was a deep wound. Farhan flinched as he felt the pain.
He immediately rushed towards the washroom. As he ran across the room, drops of blood splattered against the floor. He put his hand under running water, and then covered with a towel to stop the bleeding. Finally after some time his hand stopped bleeding.
He knew he had to call someone else to do the dressing, he couldn't manage on his own. So rather unwillingly he called his mother, who immediately rushed to his room with a first aid box. As Farhan had predicted she got extremely worried on seeing her son in pain. She did his dressing carefully and lightly kissed his forehead.
Farhan smiled at her and said "You panic to soon Mom, I am fine please, don't worry."
His mom looked at him and passed a sad smile. "Yes, but I want my old Farhan back"
"What do you mean mom? Have I done anything that hurt you. I am really sorry but I haven't done anything intentionally.
He intently looked at his mom expecting a reply.
"No beta, you have not done anything that hurt me, but you are hurting my son.'
"Mom, I am not able to understand, what are you trying to say"
"Just that, sometimes, take care of my son's happiness as well. I want to see him smile , I want my prankster, happy go lucky son back" she said looking at Farhan wit concern in her eyes.
"Mom, now I am grown, it wouldn't suit me to play pranks"said Farhan
"yeah ofcourse, Take care beta"
"Yes mom" replied Farhan. But just as his mom was about leave his room, he called out to her and she stopped in her tracks.
"Mom" said Farhan.
"Yes beta"
"I love you Mom. You please don't worry about me. I am fine, I really am. I am also happy. Please don't take unnecessary stress."
She smiled at him. "I love you too beta". He rushed to his mom and hugged her.
Finally he bid her a good night and crept on his bed to sleep. As he was switching of the lampshade next to him he looked at the white, blood stained bandage on him hand.
"My heart was already in pain because of you, and now that you are not here, I got hurt physically as well Urwa." he thought to himself.
Farhan was a little short tempered, so would get angry very fast especially on all the trolls on social media. Those comments on social media affected him.He hated when someone said nasty things about Urwa. But every time it was Urwa who would calm him down, explaining him that the opinions of others did not to matter to her. She would calm his anger, and he had gradually learnt to ignore the trolls. But he didn't knew what happened to him today. After reading all that rubbish , he just lost it. He couldn't control himself.
Engrossed in all these thoughts he finally fell asleep. It was a long day for him. He slept peacefully.
On the other side, Urwa lay awake on her bed fidgety and agitated. She was constantly trying not to think about him, but her mind was stuck. She lay wide awake in the dead of night. Finally her eyes drooped , tired from the constant overthinking her brain had done and off she went into a dreamless sleep.
But both of them were unaware about the winds that would breeze in their life which was going to be followed by a big storm.