"Fever dream high in the quiet of the night"
***April's POV***
*A/N: yes, I know I just used April's POV, but I have to again for the story line to work!*
The next morning is different from all the other mornings I've woken up with Spot.
For one, we took a big step with our relationship last night. Secondly, I can officially say we have a relationship because people who secretly exclusively hang out together don't sleep together. Thirdly, there is someone pounding on my bedroom door.
"April, are you in there?" Crutchy yells, knocking on the door. Spot and I sit up straight.
"What do we do?" Spot whispers, grabbing a sweatshirt off the floor and throwing it at me. I quickly put it on and grab a pair of spandex shorts from the drawer by my bed. He's already wearing his boxers.
"I don't know!" I whisper.
"Fine, I'll let myself in then," Crutchy sighs on the other side of the door as I'm getting ready to push Spot off the bed. But Crutchy opens the door before we can even try to hide.
Spot and I freeze as Crutchy's jaw drops.
"Bro, you can't just burst into my room!" I yell. I'm glad my parents are out of town this weekend.
"I've been knocking for the past five minutes, but now I see why you didn't answer! SPOT CONLON IS IN YOUR BED!" Crutchy shouts, staring at Spot.
I jump out of the bed. "Crutchy. You're my brother, right?" I hear Spot moving around behind us, probably trying to get his other clothes.
Crutchy finally looks at me, disappointment and anger on his face. I could care less though, he's not my parent. "Yeah."
"So, you're going to choose me and not tell our friends about this, right? Nobody needs to know."
Crutchy shakes your head. "You can't seriously be asking me this right now. You slept with Spot Conlon. How many times did this happen?"
"I don't see how that's your business," Spot says, stepping up beside me, dressed in his button down and dress pants, holding his jacket.
Crunchy glares at him. "I don't remember asking you to speak. Why don't you get out of my house?"
Spot smirks. "You don't scare me, Morris."
I place my hand on Spot's arm. "I got this. Why don't you head out? We can meet up later."
"No, you won't," Crutchy says angrily.
I glare at him. "You have no say. We'll talk, but then you'll go back to letting me do what I want."
"You sure you got this by yourself?" Spot murmurs, turning towards me.
I turn towards him too. "Yeah. I'll text you, okay?"
Spot nods and leans down to kiss me. But Crutchy already ruined the moment, so I turn and let his kiss fall on my cheek. Spot pulls back and looks at me, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek, a hint of anger in his eyes, and then he turns and leaves, brushing past Crutchy.
Once Spot is gone, Crutchy turns to me. I step inside the room and sit on my bed. Crutchy sits on my desk chair.
"What's going on?" Crutchy asks. "Are you having a crisis or something? Like, why did you have to choose him? Just to annoy us?"
"The decisions I make with Spot have nothing to do with the friend group," I answer. "We met at Enemy Ground when I was going to talk to Medda. We talked and I gave him my number. I didn't think it would turn into anything. And like Spot said, I don't see how it's any of your business, but last night was the first night we officially slept together. But he usually comes over each night and we just talk until we fall asleep."
"Why though?"
I shrug. "I don't know. We just understand each other I guess."
"So, when you blow us off, you're going to hang out with him?"
I nod.
"How long has this been going on?"
"We met a week before school let out. We hung out for the first time the first day of summer."
"Well, I don't think it's a good idea for you to hang out with him anymore."
"I don't care," I say, standing up to start cleaning my room so he knows that I'm not changing my mind.
"April, nothing good can come out of this. Do you know how mad Race will be when he learns that you're with his nemesis?"
"If Race can't be happy for me because I found someone that makes me happy, then he's not worth being friends with anyway," I say while making my bed.
"You're seriously going to drop your best friend since childhood for a boy that will probably leave you the second someone better comes along?"
I turn to Crutchy, frowning. "Are you saying that he could do better than me? Because that's a nice thing to say. If you were seriously trying to get me to dump Spot, you should be saying that I could do better."
Crutchy sighs. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that Spot's the type of boy to leave after a few months of good times and move on to someone else the next week. You don't want to be hurt by him."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you knew Spot better than I did," I say, turning towards the floor of my room to pick up some clothes. "All you know about him is rumors, Crutchy. You don't know the details like I do. I'm not going to stop hanging out with Spot. He's going to come back here tonight."
"Why though? Aren't your friends more important?"
"Yes, you are guys are important to me!" I say, my volume rising with my impatience. "But so is Spot! He understands me in a way that you guys don't!"
"But he's from Brooklyn!" Crutchy yells, standing up.
"Well, I think I love him, ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?" I scream for whatever it's worth.
Crutchy stops and blinks at me. "You actually think you love him? It's been two months. You can't already love him. If you do, you're naive and stupid, April. He's going to hurt you. That's who he is."
My jaw drops as my brother's words hit me like a knife in the chest. "Get out." The words come out in a whisper.
"April," Crutchy starts.
"Get out," I say a bit louder.
"I didn't mean--"
"Get out of my room!" I yell, throwing a sweatshirt across the room at him as he stands. "You don't get to stand here like a parent and call me naive and stupid! You're my twin brother, Crutchy! Why can't you just let me be happy for me for once?!"
"April please," Crutchy says, but he's already inching his way to the door.
"Go," I say sternly. "I'll hang out with the friend group later, but you can't tell them about this. I will eventually. And don't try apologizing, because it's not worth it."
Crutchy nods sadly and walks out of my room, leaving me in my hurt. What a cruel summer.
I go with the friend group to Long Beach. We haven't been all summer because they've been waiting for me, though we usually go twice a month. The drive is a bit shorter than the drive to New Jersey, but the traffic is insane, so it takes longer. The boys are hyped up the entire ride. Crutchy is quiet, and he keeps looking at me, so I just talk to Izzy and Sarah the entire time, occasionally texting Spot.
Spot<3: what are you doing today?
Me: going to Long Beach with the group. you can come over later still
Spot<3: how did the talk go with crutchy
Me: it was fine, he promised not to tell
Spot<3: are you okay though?
"Stop texting whoever it is your texting and tell us about the volleyball thing on Friday," Izzy says, rolling her eyes playfully.
I text Spot back quickly, saying I'm fine, but it's not true. I make up a story about the volleyball team for Sarah and Izzy. I wish I didn't have to keep secrets from my friends and Spot just to keep up this thing with him.
We finally make it to the beach around lunch time. The boys hurry towards the water, trying to make sure we get a good spot where we can have a bonfire, so the Sarah, Izzy, and I go find lunch. We stop at a sub shop and order subs for everyone.
On the way back to the beach, Izzy realizes she forgot her sunglasses so we pop into a beach store so she can buy a cheap pair.
"Isn't those some of the girls that hang out with Spot's group?" Sarah whispers to me as Izzy tries on sunglasses. I turn and look towards the door, where a few blonde girls are walking in, dressed in bikini tops and ripped jean shorts.
I nod. "Yeah, I recognize them from Brooklyn's cheerleading team."
"I wonder if that means the rest of Brooklyn is here," Sarah says, sighing. I'm praying that Spot didn't lead his group here just to cause some trouble because of this morning.
Izzy finally decides on a pair of sunglasses, and we finish our walk to the beach. The boys are laid out on towels, our stuff strewed around them, by one of our favorite bonfire spots. They already stripped off their shirts. Sarah, Izzy, and I strip down to our bathing suits too and sit down on our towels, passing the food around. The ride made us all hungry, so we all immediately start eating.
"Oh my gosh, is that Brooklyn?" Mush asks.
Davey rolls his eyes. "Mush, not every group we see is going to be Brooklyn. Stop getting so excited."
"But this has seriously been one of the boring summers ever. I haven't had a chance to fight with Spot at all," Race complains. I know why he hasn't had the chance. I look down at my sub but still feel Crutchy's stare.
"I think that might actually be Brooklyn though..." Jack says, straining his neck to see across the beach.
"Looks like they're heading this way too," Blink says. All the boys turn excitedly.
Sarah sighs. "And I thought that maybe we would just have a normal, drama-free summer for once."
"This summer is about to turn into anything but drama-free," Crutchy mutters, staring at me still. I ignore him.
"That's Brooklyn alright," Skittery says as we watch the group get closer to ours. "That's Spot at the front."
Race hops up. "Great, I'm in the mood for a fight."
"Race, nobody wants to fight," I say, rolling my eyes. "Maybe they're just trying to enjoy a nice summer day too."
"Then why are they heading towards us?" Mush asks. "They're up to something."
"I bet it was Conlon's idea too," Crutchy says, picking a black olive off his sub and popping it into his mouth like its popcorn. I roll my eyes, but don't say anything.
But sure enough, the Brooklyn group stops a foot from our group, a shirtless Spot at the front. Flashbacks from last night that I don't need right now come to my mind.
"Hey Manhattan," Spot says, smirking. I look away from him.
"What do you want, Conlon?" Race sneers.
"Oh, I don't want anything from you guys," Spot says simply. "I just wanted to come over and see how your summer is going."
"Like you don't already know," Crutchy says. I look up quickly and find everyone looking at Crutchy, confused. I glance at Spot at the same time as he glances at me.
Spot shakes his head and turns back to Race. "Anyway, I just felt like we haven't seen each other enough this summer, Racey."
Race rolls his eyes. "Why don't you just leave?"
Spot's best friend and right-hand man, Ace, steps up beside him. "Well, we would except that we were hoping for a bonfire tonight, but all the other spots are taken. So, we're wondering if we could use this pit, since you guys aren't."
"We're going to be using it later," Jack snaps. "It's midday right now."
Spot raises his eyebrows. "Look at you, able to tell time."
I can't stand this fighting anymore, so I stand up. "I'm going to get in the water." I'm aware of the eyes on me as I walk to the water. I wade out into the waves slowly, letting my body get used to the temperature. I go out further until the waves are huge and let one of them take me under water. When I come up from underwater, I turn to the beach and see Brooklyn walking away. Spot's looking at me. I muster a smile and he sends a relieved smile back.
Brooklyn leaves us alone after that and we spend the day in the water until the sun starts setting and we start a bonfire. We only sit there for an hour or so because of the long drive back. I'm drunk off laughter with the guys in the back of the car, but I can still feel myself crying like a baby on the inside because of Crutchy's words earlier. Spot texts me when we're a half-hour from home.
Spot<3: we just got back from long beach. do you still want me to come over? it's okay if you're tired or mad at me for causing drama. talking about it the other day made me think about how I have to keep up appearances. I wish it was easier and we could just be together without the drama. but if I give up on the rivalry, I look like a coward and who's going to let me lead the sports teams then? you're more important to me then sports, jsyk, but I have to have something
I read the text three times, my smile growing each time.
Me: we're on the way back to Manhattan. yes, I want you to come over. I'm not that tired or mad. well, I'm mad at Crutchy about this morning but not at you. I get it about the rivalry, and I wish it didn't have to happen either. sports are important to me too, so I get what you mean
Spot<3: great, I'll see you in a little bit then
I text Spot as soon as we get home.
"Might as well tell him to come in through the back door since Mom and Dad aren't here," Crutchy says as we walk into the house together.
I ignore him and go upstairs to wait for Spot. Every minute I'm waiting kills me slowly. It seems this summer is me always waiting for Spot to be waiting at my window. Devils like me and him roll the dice, while angels like Crutchy rolls his eyes. But I don't care because what doesn't kill me makes me want Spot more. I watch headlights on the street cut and the summer hits me like a knife. My summer was supposed to be fun, but I'm running around in secrecy. If I bleed, Spot would be the last to know.
But then he's climbing through my window, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the life out of me, making me forget all my thoughts. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back just as hard. The shape of his body is new, but the feeling I've got right now is blue. Crutchy made this summer feel cruel.
Spot pulls back and leads us to my bed as he kicks off his shoes. "What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" I ask. He lays down and I lay on top of him.
"Why are you mad at Crutchy? It's not his fault he walked in on us. He didn't tell anyone, did he?" Spot asks, his hands rubbing my back. There's no rules in breakable heaven.
"He didn't tell anyone as far as I know," I say. "But he called me naive and stupid this morning and I didn't appreciate that very much."
Spot stiffens under me. "Why?"
I roll off Spot with a sigh and we both sit up, facing each other. "Because I said something he didn't like."
"What did you say?" Spot pushes, grabbing my hands and looking at them.
"I may have screamed that I loved you for whatever it was worth," I whisper. "Ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"
He looks up grinning like a devil and my heart starts beating faster. "I snuck in your back gate every night this summer just to seal our fate. I love you too, Spark."
It's a cruel summer with him.
Spot leaves the next morning before Crutchy finds us. After I get ready, Crutchy and I walk over to Blink's house for breakfast. We don't talk.
We're the last ones at the house, as usual. We get our plates and sit at the table with everyone else. They're talking about yesterday.
"I can't believe Spot actually thought we would give up our spot for them," Mush scoffs.
"He's such an egomaniac," Izzy says, shaking her head.
Crutchy drops his fork, and we all look at him as he blurts out, "April is dating Spot Conlon."
***
"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"
*A/N: This song is one of my favorites. it's just a vibe and I love screaming the bridge at the top of my lungs every chance I get hehe. but help why did i forget about all the other newsies that were in this story😭😭. we won both of our basketball games last week, so it was a great way to end the season!! I also got pulled up to varsity for districts and first game is tonight... I'm thinking about writing an instagram/texting fanfiction, but i can't decide if I make a new story or if I just make posts from Let's Go Brooklyn and this story. What do you guys think?*