Warning: may have some slight Smexy looking pictures(But I don't think they are) just a warning if your not old enough GET OUTTA HEAR but if you are old enough enjoy
(Y/n's pov)
I make it to the IMP building where Blitz was waiting for me and looks at me a d is pissed off
BlitzA: Your late.
Y/n: I got sidetracked.
BlitzA: Well your still lucky your dicks big, now get the fuck in here!
I then enter to see my other coworkers
Moxie
Millie
And Loona
Moxie: Hi Y/n.
Y/n: Hello there.
Millie: Big and strong as usual.
Loona: Not to mention, he's built like a tank and has...
Blitza: an amazing dick
Y/n:(Grunts)
I go and sit down next to Loona as Blitz Paces around the table
Blitza: Alright I know business has been, a bit slow lately yes and its no one's fault I'm not naming any names here, Moxie(Mox gives her a what the fuck face) now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?
Millie:(Raises her hand) What about a car wash.
Y/n: Millie, nowadays nobody gives a shit about there car being cleaned except me especially in hell no less.
Blitza: Big Daddy Y/n is right Millie, no one cares about cars being cleaned here okay.
Y/n: How about a billboard-
Blitza: Now there's a bright idea da-
Y/n: I meant to say a billboard(slams on the table) Telling you for millionth time not to call me daddy!!
Moxie: We can't afford one anyways.
Blitza:(Gets in her space)Helpful Moxie, really glad your in the room right now have you guys, not Y/n forgotten what service we provide(Presses remote botton).
The tv comes on as we were eating popcorn it shows Blitza killing someone with a mallet, another shows Moxie blowing someone away with a shotgun while shockwaveing herself, another shows Loona mauling someone, and another shows Millie decapitating someone with a spear(a fucking spear) as she giggles, it then shows mine when I killed a guy named Greg. Greg was in bed cause he just had some of the good time while he grabbed a beer and turned back on the bed too drink it he then noticed me and gasped I then brought bliss down on his back as he tried to get away and stabbed him in the back at least about 10 times I then ripped my blade out of his back as he was still moving I then stabbed bliss into the floor then I grabbed the bed from both ends and folded it upwards bending his back and bringing his legs closer to his back.
Y/n: I really killed it.
Blitza: You watch too much Friday the 13th movies too much
Y/n: 1# it was Freddy vs Jason, 2# you love me for being violent.
Blitza:(Exhales in defeat)I know.
Loona: how come you didn't say anything cool when you were done with him?
Y/n: Because(He turns to Loona Shining his Red eye)Nobody survives to tell the tale.
Blitza: But at least they were the good times.
Moxie: I don't need any reminding ma'am, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV add last week one that you then additionally paid to have run 3 hours on a channel nobody watches.
Blitza: uhh hey excuse me, what's obnoxious about super-fun musical jingle all right, it's a fun distraction when an advertisement spitting bullshit.
Y/n: I can't argue with you there, a musical note is good.
Millie: people love musicals ma'am.
Blitza: Exactly Millie, and d-
*Cocks Revolver*
I aimed my Revolver right at her head as I know what she was gonna say she looks at me in fear as I said
Y/n: Go ahead, make my day.
Blitza: Da- da- Domino's! Cuz you like there pizza?
(NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR DOMINOS)
I then uncock my Revolver and holster it cuz she saved her ass(this once)
Blitza: because this what were doing a bit of a musical.(Points and looks at moxie)are you gonna crush my musical dreams like my dad did?
Moxie: Ma'am.
Blitza: because right now all I see is my dad's a$$hole talking to me crushing my dreams(Whooing wheeps)of being who I truly am inside.
Millie:(To mox) are you trying to crush her dreams moxie?
Y/n:(To mox) Yeah are you?
Moxie: I- what?
Millie: I thought we knew you(sticks her tongue out)
Y/n:(Chuckles)
Blitza: I can't believe you Moxie,(Shows a bad picture of Moxie)after I made you employee of the month
Moxie: Okay Ma'am! I'm sorry a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater, nobody actually likes the jingles.
Millie: I liked it.
Y/n: So did i.
Moxie: Do not-(points at Y/n and Millie) do not agree with her infront of me.
Commercial time:
(Imagine Blitz as a woman)
Back to the office
Y/n: So that's what happened to the kid, and why hes half dead in the corner.
Moxie: Well not technically N/n, I pointed out that, that was Loona's fault, dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target, it's very simple.
Loona: oh sit on a dick Moxie.
Moxie: You sit on a dick!
Loona: only if its Y/n's.
Y/n: Uhh, I'm right here ya know, I can hear what your saying.(turns to Moxie) You can't always blame Loona sometimes the client can't be more thorough about anything, I should know I was a good Hitman in New Orleans.
Millie: Does that mean you knew Alastra when you were alive?
Y/n: Again, she died somewhere in about the 40s I think,(point to myself)I died in the 60s I was probably to young to remember her if I did.
(Truth be told I don't know when Alastor died I just gave a random number im sorry if your a true fan of the series remind me if you can plz so no shots fired, Thank you)
Blitza: Y/n's right, we don't blame our screw ups on Loona, okay she didn't do anything (nuzzles on her face as she growls) wrong
Y/n: I wouldn't say that there were a few, and I don't wanna remind you about the Stola incident.
Moxie: isn't that also how you two met?
Blitza: Ohh yeah.
(Flashbacks MF😎)
2 years ago
(Blitza's pov)
I was on my way to the palace to get the book as when some biker creeps were staring at me, I tried to shake them but no avail they caught up with me under a train station and one pinned me to the wall
Biker: Ooowee! looks like we got a fighter boys.
The bikers cheered as the newest recruit was supposed to do something to me But the Prez spoke first(Prez was short for President)
Prez Biker: C'mon Prospect, Give it to her.
Blitza: You motherfuckers let me go and I'll save you a trip to the hos-
*Smack*
Prez Biker: Shut the hell up bitch!(Looks at prospect) Do it.
The Prospect had a sad look on his face, but as I was waiting for the punch a clank was heard in the alley it was really dark so no one could see anything the clanking kept getting louder and louder as the prez armed himself with a machete as we all look at the alley it sounded like footprints made by boots and stepped out of the dark was a sinner with black hair wearing some kinda Armor and a cape and a skull mask as it shined a red eye
The bikers then laughed and chit chatted
Prez Biker:(Chuckles)(Turns to MC)You see this guy?
The laughed as the sinner got closer the prez goes
Prez Biker:(to sinner)What in Tarnashin, are you supposed to be?
Y/n:...
He said nothing as he walked closer then the Prez Biker tried to attack him but instead getting his arm broken and getting punched repeatedly in the face and body then the sinner took him to the ground and started pounding on him repeatedly until he stopped breathing all the bikers were shocked as was I as the sinner looked at the dead Prez and said in a dark voice
Y/n: I'm Vengeance.
Everyone even I knew who he was Y/n L/n, Mr Vengeance himself, the husband of Carmilla Carmine. The bikers were scared out of there minds
Biker: Holy shit(Turns to a biker)Its him.
He then turns to the bikers and gets up in a fearsome stance as a biker let's me go I witnessed an awesome fight as the bikers tried to kill and hurt Y/n he then went to town on a biker beating the shit and piss out of him he had skills like a monster, but dressed as a knight I noticed one biker pulling out a gun but not just any gun...
(Carmine Crafted Blessing tipped Six Shooter)
Blitza: No ,no no no wait-
But it was too late Y/n turns to the bikers direction and he shoots the gun at his chest but it did nothing, then Y/n grabs him by neck he misses the other shots as he then lifts him up slams him onto the piller and digs his fingers into his neck ripping his throat out making him choke on his own blood he then drops him as the biker was trying to hold his neck
Biker:(Chokes on blood)(Gags)
Y/n:(Throws throat tube, looks at biker)You thought you could kill me?
He then picks up the gun
Y/n: With this?(Chuckles) do you not know who my wife is? This armor I'm wearing is impenetrable to my wife's weapons, Blessing tipped or bullets can't penetrate it, a gift for me on our wedding day.(Turns to other bikers) If I see any of you again you'll turn out like your President and your buddy here,(Roars)NOW RUUUUUN!!
All the bikers ran away afraid for there lives as I looked at him he pockets the gun he turns to me and says
Y/n: You whole?
Blitza: Uhh, yeah I'm- im whole. (Thinking: im all the hole you could ever need 😏)
Y/n: Good.
He then makes his leave but I stop him
Blitza: wait! I could use you.
He turns to me confused
Blitza: I mean- in my Business, allow me to introduce my self,(Coughs) Hi I'm Blitz the A is silent.
Y/n: What A?
Blitza: See thank you, you see I'm looking for another assassin for hire and you fit the bill Y/n, a dashing big killer like you could do a lot for us, so what do you say, you wanna work for I.M.P?
I then sticks my hand out to handshake and
Y/n: Sure why not.
Blitza: Excellent, now we just gotta get to the palace of the Ars Goatia and get the book.
Y/n: What book?
Blitza: Its a book that can access the living world, and I need it for future clients so will you help me steal it? I'll let you use it as much as you like.
Y/n: if what you say is true, then okay I'll help you
Blitza: Yeah! Now let's go lick some ass.
We walk together as he says
Y/n: Isn't that supposed to be kick some ass?
Blitza: Maybe, but mines better.
(Y/n's pov)
We make it to the back of the palace in the bushes as there was going to be a party to start soon as I look over head and it won't start until the witching hour
Y/n: Okay Blitz, the party won't start for 3 hours,(Turns Slowly to blitz)so well have to-
I look to see Blitz unbuttoning her shirt
exposing her body to me
[Swimmuffin: She has a bra on so BACK OFF WATTPAD!!!(Turns to readers)now back to the story.]
Y/n: What the fuck are you doing?!
Blitza: You said we have three hours right? So this will kill the time.
I slap my head/mask and say to her
Y/n: Why in all the sins would I have sex with you?
She gestures her body and says
Blitza: why would you not, and it's your reward for saving your new boss.
Y/n:(Thinking) Good point (Grabs her and Tongue kisses her).
They then engaged in having sex until the party started.
End of part 1
Swimmuffin: What'd you think?
👉Comments👈
P.s. I tried to get the jason trey folding bed kill on but it was an I quote "inappropriate,too violent" but hey I hoped you enjoyed the story my muffins.