"I'll sleep on the floor," Jimin said quickly, hurrying towards the bed and fussing with the pillows, moving to arrange them on the floor into a makeshift bed. "I've heard it's good for you anyway, so-"
She began frantically trying to make a comfortable space for herself on the floor. It was not strange for the two of them to be sharing a bed, having had numerous sleepovers, however, with the newly feelings that Jimin was still discovering, sharing a bed was not an option.
"Jimin-shi, stop," Minjeong said. She dropped the bags on the floor, and moved towards her, picking the pillows back up and throwing them back onto the bed. "It's ridiculous for you to sleep on the floor for two weeks. We can share a bed. It's fine."
Jimin stilled. "Are you sure?" she began to gabble. "Because I can sleep on the floor, it's fine, I don't mind, I can't believe we didn't think of this, I'm sorry-"
"Jimin-shi," Minjeong said, a little louder this time. "We can sleep in the same bed; We already had before, mind you. No one's going to mind, though, your parent may think differently"
Jimin closed her mouth, her heart beating hard in her chest. She's not sure she can do this- she couldn't do this.
It was one thing to casually hold Minjeong's hand, or have her arm around her waist, or kiss her on the cheek, but the idea of being that close to her all night was doing funny things to her stomach.
"Are you sure?" she repeated, her face like a rabbit in the headlights.
Minjeong rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure," she said, scrabbling through one of the suitcases to find her washbag and taking it over to the en-suite, arranging her things on the empty shelf above the sink. Then she poked her head around the door, with an afterthought. "Just don't get any genius ideas, yes?" she said, jokingly.
Jimin turned bright red and spluttered, her hands covering her face. "No- I wouldn't- You know - We don't-"
Minjeong came back into the room and cackled. "I was just kidding Jimin-shi, calm down."
She dropped herself onto the bed and stretched herself out, staring up at the ceiling. Jimin hovered between the door and the bed, but after an internal war with herself, she joined her on the bed and stared up with her.
There were a set of stickers shaped like stars stuck up on the ceiling, all of them arranged into different shapes, peeling in the corners with age.
Minjeong pointed at them. "Are those all in actual constellations?"
"Yeah," Jimin said, pleased to finally have her voice back after the incident earlier. "I did it all one day in the summer when it was raining, and I thought it'd be cool to have the night sky on my ceiling. It took me ages to look up the exact constellations."
"Nerd," she said, playfully nudging her in the shoulder.
Jimin grinned. "They glow in the dark."
"I bet that impressed all the people you brought back here."
"Yeah," Jimin coughed. "Everyone that I brought back here. The boys I brought here. The girls. This is the room where I brought everyone."
Minjeong sniggered.
"What, did you have people falling at your feet in high school?" Jimin muttered, folding her arms indignantly.
"Yes, actually," Minjeong said, with a smug grin. "I was very popular."
"I guess with your looks I wouldn't blame them."
Jimin froze.
It had just slipped out so easily.
They weren't in front of anybody right now. Her parents were downstairs, out of the way - there was no way that they could hear their conversation. This wasn't the reunion anymore, there weren't people at every corner ready to sneak up on them and interject in between every sentence they had said to her.
They didn't need to pretend right now.
And she'd said it anyway.
She felt her heart speed up, wondering if Minjeong could tell, wondering if she could feel her hands shaking next to hers, wondering if she could tell how much of that she'd really meant.
"You got that right," Minjeong said, smirking.
...Maybe she hadn't heard properly. Maybe, she hadn't cared.
Either way, Jimin felt herself breathe a sigh of relief. She didn't want to cross the line - they might be fake dating, but they were friends first, and that was all they could ever be. It was all that Minjeong wanted, anyway, and she wasn't going to go against her wishes.
She need to stop these little slips if she wanted to keep this up. She had to keep a boundary between them. She had to.
Minjeong swung her legs off the bed, and jumped onto the floor, taking a look around the room, her hands on her hips as she craned her neck to take in every inch of the place.
"So, this is where little Jimin spent her time," Minjeong said with a smile.
"Yup," Jimin said. "This is where the magic happened."
Minjeong turned to her and raised an eyebrow. "You did magic here?"
"Ha, ha."
Minjeong turned her back to her and began to look around the room again. It was a nice little room, she thought. It wasn't as big as she had expected it to be - the double bed took up most of the room. There was a desk and a chair crammed in by the window, the desk still covered in whatever Jimin had been doing years before. The paper and pencils were exactly where she had left them, spread across the desk mid-work. More than four years had passed and they were all covered in dust, but everything was still there, still intact. It was a little bit eerie, almost like no time at all had passed.
Jimin joined Minjeong at the desk and looked over her shoulder. "Oh," she said. "I forgot I'd been working on this."
"'The Adventures Of Jiminie and Yeddeong: Fearsome Adventurers of the Island?" Minjeong said, her lips quirking into a smile.
Jimin smiled too. "It was a comic book I was working on with my friend, Yeji. We were-"
"Adventurers?" Minjeong finished for her, still grinning.
"Yeah," Jimin said, and laughed, wiping a hand down her face. "We had a whole storyline going. I can't believe I forgot about this."
"Yeddeong," Minjeong mumbled, shaking her head. "I thought I'd had my share of weird names including your family and friends, but apparently I was wrong."
"My family has a penchant for nicknames," Jimin said, a smile in her voice. "Trust me, you haven't seen the half of it. Wait until the wedding."
Minjeong grinned and then turned to look across one wall, which was filled from the floor to the ceiling with drawing after drawing, most of the paper yellowed and peeling.
"Pirates?" Minjeong said curiously, as she narrowed her eyes at the wall to see what she'd been drawing over and over again.
Jimin scratched the back of her head and smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "They were kind of my thing back in high school. They were my favourite thing to draw back then."
"Huh," Minjeong said. "I'm learning so many interesting things about you, Yu. You got any more secrets hidden away here?"
"Um..." Jimin mumbled, staring at her feet.
"Bet there's a secret journal hidden around here somewhere," Minjeong said, that cheeky grin back on her face.
"No," Jimin said, covering her face with her hands.
"Did you write about boys in it? Did you write about girls? Did you write sad poetry?" she said, still grinning, beginning to search around the desk, opening one of the drawers, only to find nothing but extra stationary.
"You'll never find it!" Jimin said.
Minjeong's eyes glimmered as her grin stretched wider still. "So, there is a secret journal hidden around here? Show me!"
"No," Jimin said, all in monotone, dropping back down on the bed.
"Come on, Jimin-shi," Minjeong whined. "I wanna know what middle school Jimin was up to."
"Drawing pirates and acing tests," Jimin said. "That about sums her up."
"That's boring," Minjeong said as she dropped down onto the bed beside her. "I want to know about girlfriends. Boyfriends. Whatever little Jimin was into."
"I've never had either."
There was a silence. Minjeong blinked. "Never ever?"
"Nope."
"But... what about Liam, in university?" Minjeong said, a little shocked.
Jimin shrugged. "We dated, but it never really went anywhere."
"Amelia?"
Jimin wrinkled her nose. "She didn't like dogs."
"Kennedy?"
"I didn't like her much," Jimin said. "We went on two dates, and then I stopped returning her calls."
"Jimin the heartbreaker," Minjeong commented, still staring at her wide eyed. "Wow. No wonder your parents were so excited when you brought someone home."
Jimin shrugged. She didn't really have an answer for that, so instead of replying, she lay down on the bed and stared back up at the stars on the ceiling. After a few moments, Minjeong joined her.
"Why have you never..." she mumbled, her voice trailing off. "I mean, you're nice and smart, Jimin-shi, and you're attractive. Why haven't you ever been in a relationship?"
Jimin swallowed, rubbing at the neck of her sweater. She suddenly felt very hot after the attractive comment. Minjeong noticed the sudden temperature change?
She could feel her eyes boring into the side of her head, but she couldn't look back at her. She kept her gaze fixed up on the ceiling.
"Just never came up, I guess," Jimin mumbled. "There was no one I ever really liked that much."
Until now
"Besides," Jimin said, her voice a few pitches higher, "I'm not exactly girlfriend material. I spend too much time with my dog."
"You're not wrong about that. The spending too much time with the dog, not the girlfriend material part," she said, flicking her on the nose.
Jimin made an indignant noise and turned onto her side so that she wouldn't see her smile.
"That dog still hasn't forgiven me for what I've done," Jimin said.
They'd let Jax out of his carrier earlier, and the dog had given Jimin the most reproachful look. The plane journey had not been a fun experience for the little dog. He was an explorer at heart, and being trapped inside a pet carrier for the best part of a day was not in his best interests. In Jax's' eyes, Jimin had committed the worst sort of betrayal, and there was nothing she could do to earn the dog's forgiveness.
When they'd arrived, Jax had hissed at Jimin and the stalked away to explore his new surroundings.
They'd probably end up with several dead mice on the front porch.
"He'll come round eventually," Minjeong said, rolling her eyes. "When he remembers that you're the one that feeds him the good stuff."
"Probably," Jimin said, and sighed, sinking down into the duvet.
The two fell into silence then, just letting the minutes go by while the two of them got lost in thought, both of them thinking about the day ahead.
Jimin found herself wishing, not for the first time, that she could see what was going on in Minjeong's head. What did she think of all this? What did she think of her home? She'd asked her so many times over the past few weeks if she'd really been sure that she was okay doing this, and every time she had sighed, rolled her eyes and told her that she was. How was Jimin supposed to know if she was lying? Maybe she was secretly angry. Maybe she was frustrated that she'd dragged her all the way out to this tiny island in the summer. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Jimin tilted her head over towards her. She didn't look angry. Her eyes were closed, and her hands were rested atop her stomach, breathing gently in and out, tranquil and calm. A small smile graced her face, and she looked somehow contented.
So, maybe she wasn't angry after all. Not that Jimin would ever be able to tell. She'd been trying for weeks to understand what went on in Minjeong's head, the same way that she always knew what was going on in hers, but she'd never really mastered it.
Sometimes she thought Minjeong could tell what she was thinking just by looking at ber face.
She wished she could do the same for her. She wished she could unpick her brain and ask all sorts of questions.
Are you angry?
Are you happy here?
How do you feel about me?
They were the sort of questions she'd never really know. There were also other things Jimin desperately wanted to know, but she could never ask.
Do you like holding my hand?
How do you like to be kissed?
All sorts of questions, none of them she could ask.
There was a boundary, and she refused to cross it, ever.
Minjeong's eyes were open now, and she had shifted up in the bed, her back rested on the headboard, her fingers running through her hair, fiddling with the ends.
"You want to shower first or can I?" Minjeong said, pulling off the hairtye and sliding it around her wrist.
It had been a long day, and both of them felt pretty sticky and dirty. Jimin's baby hairs was sticking to her forehead, and it wasn't until then that she realized how much she really wanted to shower.
"Oh," Jimin said, sitting up. "You go first, by all means. You got a towel and everything?"
Minjeong slid off the bed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I got everything, I know how to pack, remember."
Jimin scowled and gave a pout. "Okay. Do you want me to leave... or?"
"I'll just close the door," Minjeong said, whipping out her pyjamas and a dressing gown from the suitcase. "In a bit, Jimin-shi."
She disappeared into the en-suite and Jimin sat on the bed and waited for the sounds of the shower running. She twiddled her thumbs, doing the best she could to not think about Minjeong undressing.
he page, pointing down at it. "Jax, a parrot?"
"He's stubborn like one," Jimin said, her voice low.
"I feel like that dog would breathe fire if he could," Minjeong remarked. "Imagine the trouble he'd get into. He'd never do anything you say."
Jimin laughed. "He never does anything I say, anyway."
Minjeong grinned. "You having a shower or?"
"Oh," Jimin said, jumping from the chair. "Yeah, yeah. I forgot about that."
"I left a towel out for you!" Minjeong called as Jimin ran into the bathroom.
What would she do without her?
Jimin took an extra-long time in the shower, just letting the warm water run down her back. The longer she stayed under the water, the longer she'd prolong having to share a bed with Minjeong. God, she could feel herself getting dizzy at the very concept.
She had to get out eventually though, when her skin was starting to wrinkle and she was starting to shiver a little. She threw on an old t-shirt and pulled on her pyjama pants, before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom.
She could have sworn her heart jumped out of her chest.
Minjeong was sitting on her bed in a t-shirt and shorts, her bare legs stretched out, her toes wiggling. She had her phone in her hands, playing on some app or another, her light-brown hair loose and fanning out over her shoulders like a golden curtain.
She'd seen her hair down before, and everytime it takes her breathe away. Her hair was always up - usually in a bun or high ponytail, but now it was down. Jimin's fingers itched with the sudden urge to run her hands through her hair, just to feel it, because it looked so soft and welcoming. She bundled her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms.
Boundaries, she reminded herself. Boundaries.
"What?"
Minjeong had noticed her staring.
She unclenched her fists, and took a breath. "Nothing," Jimin mumbled. "Just took me by surprise you put your hair down."
"Oh," she said, surprised, running a hand through her hair. "I'd have it down more often, but it gets in my way, you know?"
"Yeah," she said, swallowing.
Get yourself together, Yu.
She hovered, once again not sure if she should sit down beside her. It still felt wrong, still felt like a path that she shouldn't cross, a boundary that once broken couldn't be built again.
Minjeong was still staring at her. She wondered if she had something on her face for a moment, but then her expression changed, her eyes sparkling as her lips curled into a smile.
"I've been meaning to ask," she said, her voice taking on an insinuating tone that made Jimin distinctly uncomfortable, "what these are all about?"
To her horror, she pulled out a strap-on Yerim had left in the bathroom. "Because, y'know, if these have been here since high school, I really advise you not to use them."
Jimin turned a tomato-red, spluttering, "I- they're not- Mum! Mum put them there! They're not mine!"
Minjeong covered her grin with her hand. "I figured."
"She's impossible," Jimin said. She was still bright red, her eyes fixed at her feet, a hand carding through her hair.
"Well, you know," Minjeong said, tilting herself across the bed and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, "If you play your cards right..."
If Jimin had been red before, she was positively scarlet now, barely able to from amongst her stammers.
This time Minjeong didn't try to hide her laughter, clutching her stomach. "Your face," she said, barely able to get the words out amongst the giggles. "You're so easy to wind up."
Jimin stood motionless in the middle of the room, her hands covering her face.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed," Minjeong said. "You're just fun to tease."
"Ha, ha."
"Come to bed, babe." She threw her an overexaggerated wink, patting the bed beside her.
"Stop it."
Before she could really think about what she was doing, Jimin slid down next to her on the bed, taking out her phone so that she could distract herself from Minjeong. She kept ber eyes fixed on the small screen, but she was acutely aware of her every movement. She was still shaking slightly as her laughter subsided, her hair tickling Jimin's skin.
She felt like she was on edge every moment, her skin pricking and her heartbeat picking up at every brush of her shoulder. She was all too aware of Minjeong's eyes on the back of her head, watching her carefully.
This is only going to get more difficult, Jimin thought to herself. Get it together.
It was getting late. Outside, the sun had dipped down behind the horizon completely, and the moon was bright in the sky. Tiredness tugged at Jimin, and she found herself wanting for nothing more than to just dive under the covers and fall asleep, but she didn't know how to breach that subject with Minjeong.
When she cast a glance over at her, it seemed like she didn't really know how to either.
"You tired?" she said, eventually, and Jimin nodded.
"Guess we should go to bed," Jimin said, hating how awkward her voice sounded.
"Guess so."
"So, I'll just..." She said, her voice trailing away.
"Yeah," Minjeong mumbled.
Jimin reached over to the lamp by her side to switch it off, wriggling down under the covers.
"Night, Jimin-shi."
"Night, Jeongie."
Up above her, the constellations on the ceiling shone like actual stars.
***
Jimin had never felt so warm. From her head to her toes she felt deliciously comfortable, and in that moment, she felt like she never wanted to leave. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt like this - since university, waking up had always felt like she was being ripped away from dreamland, with the harsh reminder that real life was calling.
There was something warm in her arms, and her legs were tangled with something. Did Jax get into bed with her last night? She couldn't remember. Her thoughts were in that hazy state on the edge of asleep and awake, and she found herself unable to think in straight lines.
Something tickled her chin and for a moment all she could smell is something flowery that she couldn't quite identify. Jax must have been fast asleep, because the something warm in her arms was moving steadily, up and down in a smooth rhythm.
Wait.
Jimin's thoughts slowly clicked into place.
Jax hadn't fallen asleep with her.
It was Minjeong.
Her arms were wrapped around Minjeong's waist, her bare legs tangled with hers, her hair in her face. For a moment, Jimin panicked.
Her arms were wrapped around Minjeong. She was cuddling Minjeong. She was spooning Minjeong.
All of her senses were alive, the whole surface of her skin tingling, and she was frozen against her, too afraid to move, too afraid she might wake her up. If she woke up, she'd murder her. Minjeong had been clear the night before - "Just don't get any genius ideas," - if she woke up, she'd be furious.
After a few moments of lying still and holding onto Minjeong for dear life, her heart beating so hard she could hear it in her throat, she slowly began to detach herself, slithering her arm away inch by inch until she was free, and then pulling herself out of bed, going to sit at her desk.
Her fingers drummed on the wood, her leg bouncing up and down uncontrollably and her heart racing a mile a minute, trying not to think about the fact that two minutes ago, Minjeong had been in her arms, and failing miserably because – holy shit – two minutes ago, Minjeong had been in her arms.
Jimin felt like her body was crying out in the absence of her, and she was fighting every urge in her that told her she should get straight back in bed - pretend to be asleep, just do anything to be near her again.
But she wouldn't. That would be crossing a line, and she wasn't going to do anything to make Minjeong uncomfortable.
She smelled like her, she realised. Sbe smelled like her shampoo and shower gel, the smell stuck to her skin like a tattoo - 'Minjeong Was Here.'
Jimin ran a hand through her hair and turned back to the desk, forcing herself to pick up a pencil and beginning drawing.
Drawing had always been a comfort to Jimin. When she was younger and her anxiety had been worst, drawing was what she did to calm down. Just being able to get engrossed with something and let the outside world become a blur to her was so calming.
"What time did you get up?"
Minjeong's voice was barely there, a croak at best.
Jimin turned.
Minjeong was sitting up in bed, propping herself up with her hands, blinking at her with sleep filled, shiny eyes. Her face was as soft as she had ever seen it, her hair a tangled mess around her shoulders. Jimin felt her stomach twist into knot after knot, tying itself up until she felt like she might be sick.
"Not too long ago," she said, glad to find that she was actually capable of speaking this time. "Hope I didn't wake you. You can go back to sleep if you want."
"'M awake now," she mumbled, lifting up the duvet and swinging her legs out.
Her shirt had bunched up over her chest, revealing her stomach, and her bare legs. Minjeong turned back towards the desk, staring out the window, her teeth gnawing on her lip.
"Hey, can you find my toothpaste for me?" Minjeong called as she wandered into the bathroom.
"Yeah," Jimin said, standing up and scrabbling through Minjeong's washbag, finding a small tube of toothpaste.
In the bathroom, Minjeong stood by the sink, toothpaste in hand. She still had that half-asleep dewy look in her eye, and in that moment, Jimin felt like she wanted to do nothing else but kiss her.
Almost auto-pilot, Jimin found her own toothbrush and toothpaste and began cleaning her teeth, finding herself unable to stop her eyes from sliding over towards Minjeong and taking in all of her features.
Soft brown hair. Wide doe eyes she could get lost exploring.
Stop, she told herself, snapping her eyes back towards the mirror, brushing her teeth, spitting into the sink and getting out of their as quickly as she could, darting back into the room and finding herself a shirt.
Without really thinking, she pulled her pyjama shirt off.
"Ah!" Minjeong made a noise behind her.
Jimin turned.
"Sorry!" she mumbled. "I didn't realise you were changing!"
She was standing in the bathroom doorway. It took her a few seconds before she registered what had happened.
Oh.
She was standing shirtless in the middle of the room, and Minjeong was staring at her.
"Uh," Minjeong spluttered. "Uh. Sorry. I didn't - I'll just - I'll just go."
Bright red, she slammed the door to the bathroom shut, leaving Jimin in the middle of the room alone.
Heart racing, Jimin pulled her underwear and shirt on, found a pair of jeans and pulled them over her legs.
She knocked on the bathroom door. "I'm, uh, decent," she mumbled, kicking herself for stammering. "You can come out now."
The door opened slightly, and Minjeong's eyes and nose appeared in the crack, looking her up and down before she opened the door fully, her hands covering her face while she let out an awkward giggle.
"Sorry!" she said again, her shoulders shaking. "Sorry."
Jimin was almost as red as she was, and she coughed once, looking down at her feet. "It's okay," she said. "I should have told you. I didn't think."
"Okay," Minjeong mumbled, as the last giggles subsided. "Okay."
Another awkward silence followed, and Minjeong slid around Jimin's statue form and dove into one bags she'd brought, pulling out a hair brush and a comb, resting herself back on her bed.
Jimin finally managed to move, forcing herself to sit back down onto the desk chair, unsure of what to do or say now. Minjeong didn't seem to have any idea either; she wasn't looking at Jimin, just staring down at her lap as she pulled hairs out of the brush.
Come on, Jimin thought to herself. Think of something to say. Stop making this awkward.
But nothing came to mind, and all she could do was stay tongue-tied while Minjeong ran her fingers through her hair and began to brush it out, waves of silky chocolate curls falling down her shoulders.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer."
Snarky Minjeong was back, sticking her tongue out at Jimin with the comment, her eyes glittering.
"Ha," Jimin said, feeling able to speak. "You're the one who was getting a good look at me without a shirt on."
She couldn't help but let Snarky Jimin sneak back through, even though she felt like her heart was jumping out of her chest while she said the quip.
Minjeong turned bright red again. "I was just! I wasn't! I-" she spluttered, and Jimin loved every minute of it, wanting to bottle up the sound.
After a few moments of not being able to come up with a good comeback, Minjeong settled for throwing her comb at Jimin, laughing when it hit her in the face.
She watched as she gathered every strand of hair, except her bangs of course, and began tying them together, into her signature high ponytail that Jimin was so used to. After that, she stood up and scrabbled to find some clothes from the suitcase.
"I'm going into the bathroom to change," Minjeong said, matter of fact. "Don't walk in on me."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Jimin muttered before turning back to her project on the table, pencil in hand and nose bent towards the paper.
She disappeared into the other room, and Jimin broke into a smile.