TUES FEB 11 6:32 P.M.
Cyno
Everyone, I have a significant announcement.
Tighnari
?
Dehya
What is it
Candace
Please don't be something stupid
Cyno
It's not stupid
Candace
Famous last words.
ME
Let's hear him out
Kaveh
He's gonna mention TCG
Cyno
No, not this time.
dancing queen 💟
Another trip?
Tighnari
Aren't you the one who plans it?
dancing queen 💟
Well, maybe Cyno could've won a trip or something.
Dehya
I don't think it's that.
ME
Wait Cyno don't say it
Cyno
Cardboard
But edible
ME
...
what???
Dehya
Oh so like the edible coffee cups?
Cyno
Yes
But food.
ME
That's not what I thought you were gonna say 💀
Kaveh
The texture for that would be awful
I wouldn't even eat that.
dancing queen 💟
...
Soggy paper.
Dehya
It wouldn't be like soggy paper.... right?
ME
It would be mushy.
Candace
Dehya please don't do this.
ME
that's not a very important announcement 😮💨
Candace
Where's the mute button
dancing queen 💟
????
Kaveh
You can also ignore him.
Candace
No that's not good enough. He's gonna influence Dehya at this rate.
I'm gonna kick him out
Cyno
No no, hear me out on this idea
ME
Let's pack and ship you out, along with that idea!
Cyno
That's not the purpose of this invention.
Candace
No but that's the actual purpose of it.
dancing queen 💟
Wouldn't we get in trouble for shipping a body?
Candace
As long as it is alive, no.
Cyno
Is my death being plotted?
Tighnari
I don't think it's an immediate death.
Candace
The death of your idea has its grave dug.
Dehya
Damn Candace you aren't even gonna hear him out ???
Candace
I've heard all that I need to.
ME
I think it's a threat
Cyno
I'm just trying to figure out ideas in case the world starts to fall apart.
dancing queen 💟
There are still plants you know...
Cyno
But how would one know if it's poisonous or not?
Tighnari
I'm literally right here.
ME
💀💀
Candace
I think he's ignoring you now
Tighnari
No, he's just selective seeing.
Dehya
It's the same thing as being ignored.
ME
Tighnari is trying to avoid reality
Tighnari
It's about the friends we made along the way, I guess.
ME
Cyno please don't ever try to make cardboard into food.
Tighnari
I don't think your idea would taste great.
Cyno
It might be if it's your last option of food.
Tighnari
I'll pass.
ME
cyno you aren't cooking with that idea.
dancing queen 💟
It doesn't look pleasing (it already looks weird)
Candace
Agreed.
Cyno
You could make a pizza base out of it and no one would know.
Tighnari
Yeah you would. It wouldn't even be a circle, it would be a melting pot.
Dehya
I'm sure it could be flavored by itself
ME
NOT DEHYA TOO
dancing queen 💟
Oh no, Dehya...
Candace
Dehya...
Dehya
What?
Tighnari
Why is this a competition to be the weirdest one in the group chat?
Kaveh
Edible coffee cups still weird me out.
Cyno
It's no competition, we're thinking outside the box.
ME
you did not...
Candace
👎
Dehya
Kaveh look what you did.
Kaveh
I didn't do anything ??
Tighnari
You added to the fire.
Kaveh
You're the one who said the box statement
Candace
burn it all down!!
Kaveh
His edible cardboard wouldn't last either, seeing how the flames can consume cardboard within seconds.
Cyno
Speaking of that.
We would have to make sure it wouldn't be flammable either.
Tighnari
Please don't. It would be toxic for the body.
ME
I knew Cyno was always trying to kill us secretly
Cyno
???
Dehya
She has a point
ME
Dehya you can't switch sides like this
Cyno
Are you betraying me Dehya?
Candace
She's finally come to her senses
Dehya
Once you started mentioning making the edible cardboard fire-resistant, I was no longer on your side
ME
Dehya is the ultimate villain today smh
Cyno
Top ten anime betrayals
I can't believe you did this to me
Dehya
(Y/N) you can't label me as the villain ):
ME
Sure I can
Tighnari
I'm glad she did.
Candace
If she didn't I would have
Dehya
That's even worse
ME
It'll bring you to your senses.
Cyno
Then what are we supposed to do when we have barely any food sources left?
Candace
Ramen noodles are the closest thing to cardboard.
Dehya
Excuse you?
Candace
The packaged ones.
Tighnari
Not everyone is rich you know.
ME
Candace how could you
Cyno
Added to the top ten anime betrayals.
Candace
Shut up
dancing queen 💟
Candace you can't say things like that :(
ME
You can't call people poor, it's a horrible thing to say
Dehya
We won't name any names.
Kaveh
I can feel the fingers pointing at me.
Candace
No one said your name.
Kaveh
By the way, I don't live off those disgusting packaged flavors.
ME
I know. You live off of soup.
dancing queen 💟
What type of soup?
Kaveh
There isn't one to choose from, as long as it isn't cold.
Alhaitham
Soup is a horrendous dish.
Kaveh
Says the bookworm.
ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALHAITHAM!!!!!!!
Dehya
Happy Birthday Alhaitham!
Candace
Happy Birthday!
dancing queen 💟
Happy Birthday !
Kaveh
...
Tighnari
Happy Birthday Alhaitham.
Cyno
Happy Birthday. I was thinking about making your cake too.
Kaveh
Happy birthday (I guess)
ME
Keep Cyno away from the kitchen.
Cyno
Relax, it's not going to be cardboard.
Alhaitham
I don't trust you on that.
Tighnari
You shouldn't.
Alhaitham
And besides, I don't need anything.
Cyno
Is it because you have a girlfriend now?
Alhaitham
Anyways.
My birthday isn't that big of a deal.
Dehya
Sure it is.
Alhaitham
It only means I'm getting older.
Candace
Were you even that young to begin with?
Alhaitham
Quite amusing you are. You've been influenced too much.
Candace
Only heard it from a certain someone or two.
Alhaitham
Don't listen to them. They're full of nonsense.
ME
Alhaitham says his birthday isn't much of a big deal
But here we areuoe
Cyno
???
Dehya
Uh?
Candace
Did she just die?
dancing queen 💟
Why do you always assume the worst-case scenario?
Alhaitham
She isn't dead.
Cyno
Oh, so you two are together right now.
Dehya
Wait wtf why weren't you saying anything earlier then??
Candace
probably was too busy being distracted by a book
dancing queen 💟
Maybe they're on a date?
Dehya
Where?
dancing queen 💟
(Y/N) probably took him out somewhere
Kaveh
Alhaitham just ignored his phone as usual.
Candace
At least he isn't as anti-social as before.
Cyno
Underwhere.
Dehya
Oh you're so hilarious
Candace
You had it coming
Alhaitham
That's information I can't approve or give away.
Kaveh
They are on a date.
Cyno
Where at?
Kaveh
Probably at some small restaurant.
ME
yk alhaitham... kaveh was bound to spill the beans
Tighnari
Knowing Alhaitham, he probably kept his phone on silent
Kaveh
He probably wanted to see why (Y/N) was on her phone and didn't want their secret outing exposed.
Alhaitham
You're delusional.
Kaveh
Please stay out of the apartment for the rest of the evening.
Alhaitham
I just might.
What are you going to do, change the locks?
Kaveh
You're so full of yourself.
Alhaitham
Uh-huh.
Candace
It always stems back to those two
ME
They know each other too well.
Cyno
But hate each other at the same time.
Tighnari
...
Alhaitham
Alright, have a good evening everyone.
Candace
Intriguing.
Dehya
Enjoy your birthday dinner!
ME
Alhaitham doesn't look like a happy camper
Kaveh
Please keep him.
Let's trade roommates.
ME
I don't think Mona would like that.
Otherwise I would
Kaveh
It's okay, I really don't mind.
Alhaitham
Also, edible cardboard has already been invented.
One of the worst inventions. The plates and forks fall apart too easily, just like that coffee cup.
It isn't cardboard, it just looks like it but it is made with oats and grains. Hence the brown color
Cyno
My idea just went up in flames
Dehya
Use those flames for the candles on Alhaitham's birthday cake.
Alhaitham
I would try making your own type of candy first before that.
Tighnari
Oh please don't give him any more ideas.
Alhaitham
Something is going on at the apartment, isn't there?
Kaveh
You're delusional.
Alhaitham
Don't gaslight me.
The fact (Y/N) is staying quiet says otherwise.
ME
Nuh uh
Dehya
Leave her out of this
Alhaitham
She's right here with me?
ME
Alhaitham is crazy.
Crazy in love with me.
Alhaitham
I'd hope it would be that obvious.
Cyno
He's become a different man.
Alhaitham
You act like I grew into a different body.
Dehya
I think Alhaitham has finally lost it.
Alhaitham
No I think (Y/N) has.
ME
shut it
Kaveh
I've been trying to tell everyone that.
He did become an elder today.
Alhaitham
I can give out your phone number to a random person right now.
Kaveh
You wouldn't
Alhaitham
I would.
ME
He would.
Dehya
I'd give out your phone number too.
Kaveh
Bite me.
dancing queen 💟
This chat has experienced three rollercoaster rides today
ME
We should go to an amusement park next time
Dehya
That or the mountains
Candace
I was thinking of the lake or beach.
Kaveh
Me giving you the wrong phone number sealed your fate with (Y/N)
Dehya
Oh so Kaveh was the matchmaker
ME
That was an interesting night
Kaveh
Not intentionally.
Felt like pissing off Haitham
Tighnari
As usual
ME
It was kinda funny tbh
Alhaitham
Looking back on it, it was.
Kaveh
Not you agreeing too easily with your girlfriend.
Candace
Lover's influence 💗
Dehya
We got you a birthday card.
Candace
And some wine.
Kaveh
I'm gonna drink all the wine before you get back in spite.
Tighnari
But it's his birthday gift?
Kaveh
Don't care
Alhaitham
I doubt my friendship with all of you at times.
Cyno
He didn't even react to the wine.
Alhaitham
You can leave it at the apartment.
ME
He ordered another glass
Candace
You love us.
Alhaitham
I don't think it's love. It's tolerance.
Dehya
Close enough.
ME
Am I tolerant?
Alhaitham
You're different.
Kaveh
Get a room
Dehya
What about me?
Alhaitham
You're the reason for some of Kaveh's crazy ass ideas.
Tighnari
Dehya causes chaos too.
Dehya
Tighnari you traitor
dancing queen 💟
No one is safe in here :(
Tighnari
Nuh uh
Dehya
Though Kaveh you're right, he's losing it lmao
Kaveh
I think he needs to go to senior services
ME
You can take care of him :)
Kaveh
That's your job
ME
You're the first roommate
Kaveh
That makes no sense
This isn't some kid's game about pirates
ME
Sure it is
Dehya
No no, it makes sense
Alhaitham
I would take knives raining down on me over Kaveh taking care of me.
Kaveh
Be my guest
ME
don't worry I'll take care of you
Dehya
It'll be a group effort
Alhaitham
No group effort is needed.
I'll be fine with (Y/N)'s care.
Cyno
I can bring you food.
Alhaitham
No.
Cyno
I won't poison it.
Alhaitham
Says the one who wants to make edible cardboard non-flammable.
ME
+1
Alhaitham
???
Cyno
-1
Dehya
He's a boomer he doesn't understand
Candace
Time to go grandpa
Alhaitham
I'm going to pretend I'm not getting dissed on my birthday
Kaveh
I thought you didn't care if it was your birthday or not.
Oh now he's staying quiet
Tighnari
He probably went back to his date
Candace
Can someone please make sure Cyno doesn't go through with his idea?
Tighnari
Too late...
Dehya
?????
dancing queen 💟
Oh no...
Cyno
I'll have the results soon.
dancing queen 💟
We're doomed.
seen by 4 people.
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this is very late but after some revisions here's this late special for Alhaitham's birthday :)
(gonna hit life with the one two punch brb)