𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓𝟗: 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡
Let's not be alone
Empty thoughts fill the room
Breathe for me and I'll breathe for you
Let's be selfish, selfish, baby
Tonight
𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓
𝐋𝐎𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒, 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀
𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝟓𝐭𝐡, 𝟏𝟏:𝟏𝟏 𝐚𝐦
|| Stop allowing your own head to act as a third party in a two person relationship ||
— 𝐒𝐘𝐑𝐄
ఌ
He sat outside his car wide awake, fingertips tapping against the middle console with a certain wake of calmness that overcame his body.
His mouth gradually pulled in the smoke that slowly rolled down his throat, allowing him to sedate himself at the satisfaction that followed the slight burn against his insides. The part of his lips allowed the thick cloud to seep up towards the stars along the ceiling, flowing right out of the slightly cracked window that pulled out his smoke.
"You know, son, this wasn't a position you was ever supposed to be in." Elias' voice erupted through the car, breaking the silence that fell over him and his son.
Although his head turned to face the man who he'd known all his life, Syre's focus never came from the darkness of nature before then. "Obviously." He mumbled from the words of his father who chuckled to himself.
"Your momma...she cried for days when I let her know the plans of inheritance of this business. In her mind I was bout to corrupt her baby and strip him from having a chance at much-."
"So exactly what you did." He slowly nodded with the bitterness of a chuckle, "she wasn't too wrong, momma know best is what they say ain't it?"
"You think so?" Elias raised an eyebrow with a slow nod himself, just taking in the words of his son whose annoyance visibly grew.
The wrap of his lips around his blunt to inhale slowly was just an attempt at calming his nerves, although with the more he heard the voice of his father, the less it seemed to work. The slight bounce of his leg shown the agitation brewing.
"Nigga, understand if I didn't care about my motha, sister, nieces and nephews, and my kids...yo ass would've been rotting in the same gravesite every body I've dropped having a party at." He glanced over towards his father whose colored eyes stared over at his son, with a face that held an expression so unreadable. "I promise you."
"This the part where I'm supposed to cry? What those words mean to me—."
"You can't put yo fucking tough guy act off fa two seconds for your fucking son man? Ion beg for shit, I'm a grown ass man but from since I was little you constantly at me like I'm a random nigga off the street. I got my own family, ion give a fuck bout tryna rekindle with you, but eventually one of my hollow tips gon reach yo dome if youn get to figuring out what the fuck this is." Syre snapped despite all attempts to control it.
His shaky breathing scared him whilst having access to everything that sat in his backseat, and attatched to his waist. His eyes finally shot over towards his father who couldn't make them out through his dark shades, but he could see enough.
Elias' fingers tapped against his leg calmly. He wasn't fazed nor bothered at any outburst, especially not the one by the works of his son. "I do see and acknowledge you as my son. My granddaughter loves me—."
"I'm a 3 year old named Malani, or I'm Syre? Let me know sum. She not a reflection of nothing, damn sure not 30 years of the lack of parenting you did nigga." His finger shoved in his father's direction, bringing a slight sting to Elias' pulsating shoulder.
"I understand that, but I'm trying to say that Ian disown you or nothing. I always been there, yo ass would be happy as hell coming from your grandmother and seeing us, so ion understand the issue now—."
"I'm older. Shit changes when you get a clear view of how shit really was, you celebrating me being happy to see my parents and sister when I got a chance out that abusive ass house." He shook his head, "And you knew all of what she was doing cause you had cameras in there, I seen them during one of my visits to y'all. You seen everything I was going through in that house, and you kept it to yourself and let me endure that shit." He nodded, finally ashing out his blunt as he'd had enough.
"That ain't no fucking love, or whatever the fuck you tryna call it. Let a motherfucker even pinch my kids, it's wraps. And you was watching yours go through all I did? You fucked up my mental, half of my disorders come from getting hit in my head so bad that the result was a disorder. That's irreversible, that's some shit only you know. I gotta live off pills for the rest of my life, hoping ion pass nothing down to my 3 biological kids cause you let a business come between yo blood. But it's cool though, you was present right?" He laughed with a small nod.
From the rare silence on his father's end, he knew his words were heard. But there was no doubt in his mind all that hearing didn't translate into being listened to, as it never did.
"What time we gon execute all this shit, it's getting late." Elias glanced down towards the Cartier watch that decorated his flashy wrist.
They sat in the parked car a ways away from the main warehouse they had the location of. Syre had cameras placed around the area as soon as he'd gotten his hands on the phone for one of the men, ensuring he could pick up all routines he needed to see. 7 days. It was all he needed.
The subject change of his father only brought him to a small chuckle, just from how expected it was. He didn't mention it, had no desire to as it only drove his focus in on what it was he was there to do. He held the phone in hand where he communicated with Semaj's brother, Silas.
"Soon as I get the message that-." And almost on command, his phone lit up with a message from Ghost confirming things were ready and in place.
"Going now." He muttered to his father.
"Everyone posted up?" Elias looked to his son who slowly nodded.
He wasn't one to do much masked, nor hiding his identity. He was so open which went against one of the #1 rules taught from his father who insisted Syre follow every detail of what he mapped out for his son so long ago.
Rule #1: You do not allow ego to overcome sense.
His hands covered in black latex gloves that hid the many tattoos that distinguished him from anyone else. His face covered over in a mask, keeping the darkness of his shades over his eyes to hide the color that seemed to glow within the night.
The power from the anger of just the thought of them spinning for Amerie again, was enough for him to want to do this on his own. He wanted to single-handedly wipe every individual he anticipated to see within the walls of the huge building before him. But he couldn't. No matter how many protests and fights he'd managed to put up about it, an army followed as many hid out in the various areas he'd mapped.
"Which doors free?" He spoke softly into the piece that adjusted in his ear. He had one, Ghost had one, as did his father despite them being together.
He needed Ghost for navigation, as he had access to all of the cameras they'd already hacked into inside. He worked to instruct Syre, while Elias sat awaiting just watching. He waited patiently, despite his son making it clear he didn't need the physical help from his father. What he asked of, he'd already gotten. But it just wasn't enough for Elias.
"None of the doors blank, but the one on your right only got one right now. Second one stepped away." And those words were all Syre needed to slowly make his way towards the right wing of the building.
He scanned his surroundings, although there wasn't much he could see. His feet tip toed around, with his hand keeping a tight grip along the Kel-tec that graced his covered palms. His eyes took repeated glances around with the closer he drew to the area, where one singular man stood with his back turned.
It didn't take too hard of a look for Syre to see he wasn't paying attention, instead too busy with eyes on his phone. "Rookie shit." He whispered out with a small shake of his head.
It seemed with the more he seen of this organization, the more it upset him that he was wasting time to deal with them. He thought he passed the stage of this career where his main competition was just trigger happy young boys who were trying to solidify a name for themselves.
"You got a silencer on son?" Elias spoke up to Syre whose body inched closer and closer towards the man from behind.
"Yeah, but ion got intent to kill yet. Need a way in." He spoke so softly, he knew he could barely be heard. But Ghost and Elias heard enough, seen enough from the two screens of cameras that displayed everything happening inside and outside.
Elias' eyes watched the frame that shown Syre specifically. He watched his son whose body inched closer and closer until his arm wrapped around the man's throat hard from behind, followed by the coldness of the gun barrel pressed into his temple.
"Act stupid and that's yo life." Was all his voice needed to whisper out to command full attention and respect.
His voice was known by anyone in this business, it was necessary when he was of such high feared status. In a quick motion, Syre snatched the gun tucked within the young boys waistband to toss off into the distance. The face alone gave way for a teenage age, which only heightened his hesitance in pulling his trigger.
"P- please man I-."
"Unlock this door, put the code in for me." He instructed through the low tone of his voice, just before pushing the boy forward to a stumble.
A step back allowed him to see what all was going on from an angle. The boys hands trembled with every number he punched in at Syre's command, as slow tears began to trickle down his cheeks.
He wasn't cut out for a life like the one he was introduced to, the one that made him put up such a facade. And Syre knew that, because it was the case with so many young boys which only drove his anger towards Silas, who was grown. This was why he didn't allow those under 21 working for him, it felt like just sending them down the same path he still couldn't recover from.
"Ian do nun, please don't-."
"Stop allat crying and let me know what's going on in there. Where ya boss?" He spoke quietly to the boy who wiped at his face.
He didn't care about snitching with the way he sang like a canary for his life. But unfortunately, no matter the circumstances, you just can't leave witnesses behind. He wanted to have the heart to spare the life, but couldn't as the boy attempted to run off after giving Syre his asked for information.
Within a blink of an eye, a once running body became one with the dirt under him. The silencer allowed for the 2 bullets into the boys skull that bled him out into the ground.
"Why the hell you do that?" Elias' voice erupted, but his son wasn't trying to hear any of that right now.
Killing held equivalence to sex in his sensations. What ran through him was a certain rush that couldn't wait to be cured, as he moved with silence. The logical thoughts shot out the window, as his mind focused on one thing now. And it was to kill, to wipe out any and everyone he seen until he could become face to face with the only person who commanded his time.
His feet picked up towards the unlocked door he pushed open slowly. He didn't care to make out faces with the way his bullets sprayed the entry room. One by one bodies dropped, too fast to even attempt to reach for their respective weapons as a means to defend themselves.
"He not fucking listening." Elias sucked his teeth as he began to get himself together, patting his body to ensure he had his things on him.
Ghosts' eyebrows knitted together as he looked to the older man. "And what the hell you finna go do Pop Pop?" He joked to Elias who only flicked him off as he stepped out of the car.
Shaking his head, Ghost made sure to inform everyone to move in as backup for Syre who was doing his own thing. He knew the place well after studying the cameras so much, and knew the exact routine needed to take for his main purpose there.
He didn't care about the excessive gun fire being heard around him, instead he slipped away to find himself rushing down a secluded hall. He was so zoned out and focused in on just one thing, the one that guided his footsteps towards the back office.
Unguarded. As he expected.
He knew the man was in there just from the turn of the lock he immediately shot off to push it open, where he was met with the barrel of a gun pointed towards him.
"You gon drop yo shit if you know what's good for you bitchass nigga." Silas grit to Syre whose head tilted in amusement.
He couldn't help the laugh that sounded from his mouth, as he was confused on if he was supposed to be threatened or not. Considering he found this rather amusing than anything else.
"And who you 'pose to be?" He raised an eyebrow as he stepped closer to the man who visibly shook. "Y'all lil niggas so trigger happy, why you can't-."
He watched Silas' body drop before he could even get out all of what he wanted to say. He knew the boy wasn't dead, but it was a hard pistol whip that got him on the ground with his gun kicked away by Elias.
"I ain't need ya help." Syre cut his eyes to his father who only waved him off.
Shaking his head, Syre walked around the room to collect things he'd need, while Elias tied up the young unconscious boy. He wasn't necessarily nervous for his son, but a rookie was sometimes just as scary as a vet from the sole fact everything they did was to prove themselves.
"Imma grab the duffel bag, worry bout him. Everyone else wiped out." Elias spoke to Syre who didn't even spare him another glance, but a nod sufficed.
He watched his father who left out of the secret entrance, before he focused back on Silas who was waking himself back up from the unconscious state. He folded his arms amused, just standing before Silas whose eyes blinked to adjust with a small groan.
"Good morning." Syre teased, followed by a small chuckle. "You know what this for, so imma just get it over with." He waved off, but Silas wanted to get in his head instead.
"My brother had yo bitch on her knees every night. You know he let me try her out, I see why you willing to kill bout it." Silas smirked, bringing a slow nod to Syre's head.
Running his tongue over his lips slowly, he looked to his father who only tossed him the black duffel bag he'd collected. With a one handed catch, he set the bag down on the table before him to slowly zip open.
He didn't speak, as he wasn't there for words nor a stick your chest out contest. There was nothing telling him what time period was being referred to, but either way, she was barely sober most of her time with Semaj as she took drugs so heavily that Syre had nothing telling him how sober she was.
Which unbeknownst to Silas, only further fueled him.
Elias stood back with his hands clasped in front of him, just eyeing his son who pulled out what looked to be a scalpel. With no words exchanged, he made his way up towards Silas with a face so blank. Not even changing with the ear piercing screams that followed Syre's quest of beginning to carve out the eyes of the man before him.
He worked steadily and calmly, ignoring the blood that began to coat his thick gloves as the first eyeball dropped into his palm. Then the next.
Still silent, he glanced towards his father before forcing the man's mouth open where he shoved both eyeballs down the throat of. And it was then he finally cracked a small smile through his small chuckle, watching the way Silas began to choke and cough out through the screams and movements of pure agony.
"You a sick lil nigga." Elias shook his head as he chose to take a seat. He had to look away being that Syre was on things he'd never done, and it came with his tapped out mind. No pills, no sedatives.
"Y'all put on a fake persona to act hard, tryna play like you crashed out and crazy." Syre chuckled to himself as he shook his head. He fished through the bag before him again, seeing what all could be used. "Y'all don't be wanting to meet crazy." He spoke softly, just above a whisper.
The man before him struggled and fought, but it was no use seeing as Syre was so mentally gone that he just wasn't there. He held a knife with a blade so sharp, the slightest brush would result in the leakage of blood.
"You ain't in pain yet." He pointed with the end of the knife as he stepped closer towards the man.
And Elias only watched. He watched in horror the way his son took the time to skin the man as if it was nothing. So precise and so detailed he spent his time, starting from his clothes to the clothing of flesh along his body.
Blood soaked his covered hands and covered body, as he delivered the slowest of a death to the man who was on the receiving end of such gruesome torture. He screamed and cried out in immense pain as Syre poured his into the aggression of his hands.
He released all of the anger that pent up within, dating all the way back to Semaj. Anger from the betrayal of Leon, anger from the death of Cheyanna, anger from the words he'd spoken to his father, anger for so much that'd been consuming his life.
And that pain became the repeated stabbing at a body that was still in death. Elias watched his son who became covered in such blood that spurted all over him as he just released. In that moment he seen something he was forced to swallowed down, just before finally pulling Syre back by his jacket.
"I would send this to yo momma, but yo whole family dead. While we here right now, know that you responsible for every murder my boys executing tonight on your entire bloodline." He whispered out towards the dead, unrecognizable body that was more of a pile of skin and limbs.
The sight made him laugh, allowing the diamonds along his teeth to sparkle within the room as they bounced off of the light. This wasn't revenge, it was his life.
━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━
The time read 1:23 am, way past the time promised. But the time he communicated after freshening himself up and taking necessary time for himself. He cleared his head privately, as always, because there was no positive in taking things out on the individuals he had to come home to.
He stood with his body leant against the doorframe ever so slightly, looking through to see Amerie seated in the middle of his bed with Malani on one side and Xyden on the other. Her arms wrapped around them both to pull their bodies to rest against hers, rotating small kisses between their foreheads while the kids seemingly argued...as always.
"I gonna tell my daddy on you." Malani's eyebrows knitted together, with an accusing finger shoved in Xyden's direction.
The sound of the TV played softly within the dimly lit room that hued of a burnt orange from the low lights. The electric fireplace crackled just under the huge television that was built into the wall, reflecting the different lights of the screen onto the three faces who all cuddled up in his bed.
He was shocked Amerie even allowed the kids up so late, but they were her comfort in times where he wasn't there nowadays. They provided her with the safety net she was to give them.
"Ion care who you tell." Xyden waved off his sister who immediately twisted her face up. She looked to Amerie to intervene, but her eyes were too focused in on the documentary she had playing on the screen to where their little arguments got tuned out.
Shaking his head, Syre's feet gradually picked up to add his presence into the room. Just the scent alone that filled the space brought Amerie's eyes up towards the doorframe where her face beamed seeing him entering into the room with them. This was her peace, as it was his and exactly where he felt he needed to be. Just seeing the three of them felt like nothing less than what was envisioned when he imagined and seen what was his future.
"Stop all that arguing, it's late." He muttered with a voice loud enough to command attention from both his kids.
"Daddy!" Malani squealed, as her small body immediately jumped into the comfort of his arms. The freshness of his body came through the scents of cologne mixed in with his body wash of choice, as he'd never come home with any evidence to what he embarked in for the day.
His lips pressed into the soft cheek of his daughter who lay her head on his shoulder. "Wassup princess." He mumbled, with his hand gently running through her long kinky hair that coiled from her head.
"You have not met a true daddy's girl until you've met my child." Amerie shook her head, just watching the way Malani kissed at her father's cheek from where she lay.
You wouldn't even think anyone else existed with how much she always managed to zone out anyone else with her father in the room. But Amerie understood, and understood just the magnitude of the relationship her daughter held with her father.
It was different, as they created a bond unexplainable through the time where he was all she knew. He spent 3 months of his life being a single father to a little girl that taught him so much in such little time. He'd always been active as a parent, but it was different to him when having his small princess that he had to experience life with.
He held the back of Malani's head to keep it turned, while he leant down to peck Amerie's lips quickly. He then reached over to brush his hand over Xyden's fresher cut hair to greet his son.
"School was good?" He spoke the little boy who nodded his head.
"It was boring, and my teacher told me to tell you guys that in June they have an event for new students. And they do something special for the kindergartners and Lani should go." Xyden looked between Syre and Amerie who held completely different silent reactions.
Syre nodded in understanding at the words, but it was Amerie whose lips downturned in a frown. She looked to Malani who was back under the covers next to her, then towards her father who sat where her small legs stopped.
"I don't want to think about my baby starting school right now. My hor-."
"We gonna tell them?" Syre raised an eyebrow to Amerie who glanced between the two kids. Pursing her lips, she slowly shook her head no with the longer her eyes stared down at her daughter who she knew would end up telling the world.
She was also nervous of telling either of them about it, considering things were still uncertain. Although her body hadn't fought the pregnancy yet, she didn't know if it could eventually, and she couldn't bare having to explain to anyone.
"Kiss!" Malani perked up excitedly to her parents who both eyed her. Leaning down, Syre placed a gentle peck against Amerie's lips, bringing their daughter to a loud squeal.
"Silly girl." Amerie shook her head as she pulled her daughter onto her lap to kiss softly. "You both are the greatest things to come into my life." She mumbled, turning her head to kiss Xyden's temple with her arm wrapped around him too.
"Everyone say thank you daddy, cause if it was up to you-."
"Syre there is no way you plan to bring this up for the rest of our lives." She sighed tiredly, already knowing he had plans of bringing up her initial plans of abortion.
"Shitten me, yes the fuck I do. Youn just try and off my baby and come like shit sweet- matter fact, c'mere mamas cause I'm feeling uneasy having you round her." Syre picked up Malani with a look of concern in his face. He held his daughter close who only giggled, not having a clue as to what her parents were talking about.
Amerie's face near mirrored his, "Ion give a damn bout that, I have my baby right here." She wrapped her arms around Xyden to pull close. She could see from the corner of her eyes the smile that graced his face from the comfort Amerie provided.
And Syre could see it, just from how well he picked up on feeling and body language. It was like every little thing made him fall deeper in love with her, and this fit such a heavily loaded category. Shaking his head, he eyed Amerie until she finally looked towards him with eyes that washed over with a look so prominent.
"Aight, time for you lil niggas to find sum safe to do. Bout that time for me and my lady." He eyed the kids as he lowered Malani to stand on her own and began to shoo Xyden away.
"I stay!" Malani folded her arms in a pout as she ran around the bed towards the other side of the room.
"I'll get her." Xyden announced, just as Syre was beginning to stand to his feet.
"Aw my honeybun, she wants to be with mommy and daddy tonight-."
"Well that's too damn bad, she'll see us tomorrow." Syre scoffed, just watching Malani who threw a fit in Xyden's arms who carried her out the room. He followed behind the kids to close and lock the door behind them, not needing either of them to walk in on whatever him and Amerie planned to commence their evening.
She stared up towards him with the closer he came towards her. It was like she couldn't control her face that turned up in a smile, one that grew as soon as he crawled between her legs to rest his head along her chest.
She wrapped her arms around his body, with her lips kissing at the skin of his forehead. It was like he could feel his muscles relaxing from their tense nature, and his mind easing to her comfort. This was the feeling he'd been longing for all day, to just be one with her alone after getting what he needed from his kids.
"2 of em gone and we still left with 2 more." Syre mumbled, placing his hand along her growing belly to rub against gently. "This belly growing." He glanced up towards Amerie who smiled small, just watching as he kissed at her rounding stomach.
"They've been doing very very very slight movements for mommy. But nothing close to Lani, my girl was in there whooping ass everyday." She shook her head, just admiring the protrusion of her belly that held her 2 resting babies.
It still felt surreal to her that she was once more carrying life, except double this time. Syre could see the difference in her mood and mindset that came with this pregnancy, and how much different it was from their first go round with their first child together.
Her hand ran over Syre's short cut hair so gently, just staring down at the man who was making her fall deeper in love with him by the day. She looked to him with eyes so full, reflecting something so great that love might not have even been the proper word of classification.
"Can't believe we bout to have 4 kids, 3 together...it's really insane how life works man." He shook his head as he leant up just a little bit, trailing his eyes up into Amerie's face.
He watched her until her eyes met his, bringing the heaviness of a blush to her turned up cheeks. He took in her beauty, and the glow that radiated off of her skin from where it was gone from for a while prior.
Her happiness was his happiness. He didn't care about himself when it came to her and his children, as those were his fuel that kept him going. His ignorance to his own thoughts and feelings went so unnoticed being that he simply didn't care.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She laughed shyly, bringing her hands up to cover her face at the intensity of his gaze.
And in an instant, he had her body up in the air through the strength of his arms that held her. "Syre!" She shrieked through a loud giggle as soon as he swept her body up into his arms. "Baby put me down, I'm getting heavy." She hit his arm playfully, knowing she'd been gaining weight that came with their babies growing inside of her.
"I had you ass against the wall on my shoulders when you was 9 months pregnant with Lani, this don't phase me." He muttered as he led them over towards the couches deeper into the room.
He took a seat on one with her in his lap, positioning their bodies to raise his feet up while she straddled him. Her beauty was something he'd never get over, as gorgeous seemed to be an understatement from the way her face glowed.
"Let me ask you something." He tapped her thigh gently to bring her eyes over towards his. She stared down at him with a small smile followed by a nod.
"Okay, what is it?" Her head tilted, just as she began to toy with the chain that displayed her middle name.
Clearing his throat, Syre sat up just a bit with his arms still securely wrapped around her. "Did you ever mess with someone name Silas?" He spoke in a tone that made her huff out a small breath, recognizing the name.
"Yeah, it was only sex a couple times. Semaj introduced me to him, and I was kinda...letting them do whatever. It was when I was in a weird headspace, I'm sorry if-."
"Don't trip, I wasn't asking to start accusing you of shit." He quickly reassured Amerie who he could see beginning to overwhelm herself. "I killed him today, that's Semaj's brother and the nigga who been behind all this stupid shit." He told her, just watching the way her face immediately twisted up in disgust.
"...His brother?" She repeated, just to make sure she was hearing correctly.
"Yeah, but-."
"Sometimes I wish I could wash away every hand that has ever touched my body aside from you. I would fuck you from sun up to sun down if I could." She laid her head against his chest, feeling the vibrations of his chuckle that sounded in her ear.
She knew what she was doing, and his hands rubbing against her ass gently only pleased her. She craved him all the time and he knew it, just from the way her lower half naturally began to move against him, which occurred any time he had her aroused.
"Who says you can't?" He mumbled into her ear, just as a sudden swipe of his finger pushed past her lace thong that exposed from under her nightgown.
That one swipe was all he needed to feel her, feel the wetness that leaked from her awaiting core. She couldn't help the small moan she sounded past her parted lips, as her head turned to watch him suck her juices from his finger.
"You taste too good, soon as I take a shower imma tear that shit up put you to bed." He eyed Amerie whose cheeks heated up in a heavy blush.
"You always tryna fuck me, let's cuddle and watch movies sometimes. Do cute couple stuff, this is why we have 2 more babies coming now." She gestured towards her belly that slightly protruded.
But Syre only sucked his teeth to wave her off, "Baby ion give a fuck bout nun you talking bout right now mamas, and Ian gon act like I do either. You want head before bed, yes or no?"
"...Yes." She muttered, making his lips crack in a goofy grin. "Stop it, why were you a little tense coming in? What happened?" She gently brushed along his eyebrow, picking up on his feelings so easily.
Syre wanted to question how she even knew there was something wrong, but this was Amerie he was talking to. If anything, he would have been more concerned if she didn't notice from how easily she read him and knew the things he was feeling.
"I talked to my pops today, earlier." He finally moved her so he could stand with a big stretch, with Amerie following his lead.
"Okay, and how did that go?" She smiled small, despite the obvious pushback in his body language alone.
"How do things always go?" He glanced back towards his girlfriend who followed him. "This why ion care for all that shit you be tryna have me do, it ain't benefiting me or my time. I only keep doing this to please you, it's not doing nothing for me Amerie." He explained to Amerie who sighed tiredly, beginning to feel bad.
"I don't do it to strain you or make you feel overwhelmed, I do it cause I know you want that relationship with your father-."
"I don't."
"Yes you do. And you don't have to be ashamed of that." She stepped in front of him. "I love you so much Syre." She sighed with her finger gently grazing along his face in slight awe. She looked to him with full eyes, reminding him of the night they first ever exchanged such words with each other. Amerie's lips pressed the most gentle kisses into his tattooed skin, running up the stem of the rose that inked into the side of his face into the cursive lettering of her name.
The feel of her lips against him soothed the tenseness of his body to submit to her embrace. His head turned slightly to capture her lips in his, giving her one slow, long kiss against her lips that exuded so much passion. Longing and passion.
"You my heart in human form, nothing gon ever change that shit." He mumbled against her lips as he pulled back to stare into her face. "I'm so in love with you Amerie." He breathed out to the woman whose face flushed in a heavy blush.
His gray eyes stared so deeply into her brown ones, almost like he was trying to look through her. Shaking his head, he released his arms from her body to allow them to part.
"When you gon stop playing and move in with me?" He spoke from his place across the room with his body leant up against the dresser behind him.
Amerie looked up towards him with a raised eyebrow, feeling her heart begin to beat a little faster in her chest. Just as it always did when this became their topic of conversation. "Um...not sure cause I plan to go back home now that you've handled all of what needed to be handled." She quickly shut down with an answer he heard too often.
"Amerie man, here you go." Syre breathed out with his hand running down his tired face.
"Here I go with what? We just got back together which we weren't even planning to do so fast, and we have a lot to work on and address-."
"Like what?" His eyebrows knitted together with his body slightly leant forward. By now, Amerie placed her things to the side so her sole focus could be on him. Knowing just from the tone he used that he was growing defensive.
"Like your mental space, healing your demons, learning each other again—."
"Aight, but you tryna dismiss conversations that need to happen. We bout to have 4 kids, 2 newborns. There ain't no way in hell you believe living in separate homes is ideal, especially when we together Amerie." Rolling her eyes, she folded her arms over one another with her head lowering down. "Do that shit again watch I pull them bitches out, act ya age. I'm taking to a grown ass woman, not no lil ass girl."
She fought the urge to roll them even harder, and it was a losing battle although her focus thankfully wasn't on his advancing body. "Moving in without a ring-."
"You know you getting that, cut that shit. You bout to have my second and third and now you talking bout a ring we been having discussions about, what's the issue now?" The bass of his voice bounced off the walls with the closer he got, bringing Amerie's head to shoot up through the strength of her nerves.
Her body that sat towards the head of the bed, looked to Syre who stood just next to her side. "Ion understand why moving in together get you like this. Cause you saying forever, but lil shit like this still show you ain't certain on it." He shook his head with his fists planted into the bed.
"I am certain-."
"So what's the problem?" He cut in again. Yes they were having a conversation, but he didn't care to hear her many excuses.
He watched Amerie who pushed the air from her mouth, reaching over to grab her laptop. "It's nothing, I'll start looking tonight." She quickly dismissed just to get him away and end the conversation.
But her dismissal only seemed to further frustrate him because of how consistent she was with it. "Nah, answer my question. Cause you'll sleep here every single day, no questions. Yet you start acting weird soon as this topic brought up, don't say shit just to end the conversation Amerie." He grabbed her laptop to force to the side, followed by his hand under her chin raising her lowered head. "Can you please talk to me?" His soft voice pulled in for his girlfriend whose eyes squeezed shut.
She could see he was trying, and it inclined her to spill her feelings. "Cause baby I like to have my own space still, that's all. I like having that place I can use as mine and my outlet, you know I still want that small piece of independence."
"Or you like to have somewhere to run to when you tryna avoid certain conversations? Same way you gon try and get ready to go after this one?" He raised an eyebrow, "We too grown for this baby, we ain't trying again to be right back in them same habits. If we can't communicate healthy, without that running shit or all that arguing and cussing, what we doing this for?"
"You're right, I'm sorry." She mumbled with her eyes finally locking in on his. "It's something I'm still working on in therapy." She admitted to Syre who nodded.
She watched as he leant forward to press a tender kiss along her forehead, and it was then her muscles gradually began to relax. That reassurance that they were fine despite such a minor disagreement.
"I love you, and Ian gon be fighting with you. Help me so I can help you, aight? I just want to grow with you now, I don't ask nothing of you out this relationship but I am gonna ask one small thing. And it's just that I want you to stop allowing your own head to act as a third party in a two person relationship." He spoke softly, with those piercing gray eyes never coming up off of hers for a second.
Amerie's head naturally nodded as if instructed to do such. "Who is this man?" She spoke playfully through the brightness of her wide smile. Her arms raised to clasp around Syre's neck where she pecked his lips gently.
"I told you if we doing this thing again, we wasn't repeating the last time. I meant that."
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How do we feel about a time jump loves?? I already gave yall Amerie's full pregnancy with Lani and I don't wanna just drag stuff. There's so much more planned for this book, I fear we might make it to the 90-100 range for chapters cause this is like the sequel and trilogy in one.
So time jump?? If yall really want the pregnancy I'll do it but...