𝓔𝔁𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓹𝓽 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 '𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼'
𝐴𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑒-𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑. 𝐴 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛. 𝐴 𝑓𝑎ç𝑎𝑑𝑒, 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑡, 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑑𝑦. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛.
"𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠' 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙, 𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟?"
𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝗠𝗮𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗧𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿𝘆𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝟮31 𝗔𝗖. 𝗔𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗽𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 '𝗕𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀', 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗼𝗳 a 𝗧𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿𝘆𝗲𝗻'𝘀, 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗔𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗿𝗮 𝗧𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿𝘆𝗲𝗻. 𝟭𝟬𝟬 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗼𝗻𝘀.
It was always interesting to see how differently people reacted to fear.
Some panicked.
Others felt dizzy and nauseous.
Others felt the need to flee or, as in her case, to hide and never show themselves again.
She hadn't slept a wink that night and the thought of Aemond telling Otto about what she had seen at that very moment made her heart pound painfully against her chest. As the sun rose, Aurora felt a strange sense of relief. The ignorance was about to end and she would find out if her grandfather would banish her in eternal shame or if Aemond would do it for him. She did not doubt for a moment that Aemond would not tolerate her behavior and that it was only a matter of time before she would be told that her betrothal had been broken.
Arriving at the breakfast table, Aurora was surprised by the presence of Daemon and the absence of Otto and her brothers. Strangely, this was the first time she wished to see Otto so that she would know if his hatred for her had increased.
Daemon greeted her with a wink as he told Aliandra about his time in Essos.
"And did you also have slaves, Prince Daemon?" Aliandra asked provocatively. "There's hardly a bigger crime here in Westeroes, but it's commonplace there."
"Just because I lived there doesn't mean I've forgotten where I come from, Lady Aliandra."
"Well, most men adapt."
"That may be true, but I'm not most men."
And how right he was. Daemon Targaryen was one of a kind, and whether you liked him or not, you had to admit that he was frighteningly unique. Even Aurora couldn't decide whether she feared him or was fascinated by him.
"I'm just having your uncle tell me what it's like in Essos, Aurora," Aliandra enlightened her as she sat down. "The way of life of the people there is fascinating and terrifying at the same time."
She didn't know what was supposed to be fascinating about Essos. Essos was a vast landmass to the east of Westeroes, reaching into the Far East of the known world, run by men who thought they had the right to decide the lives and deaths of children, women and men. Essos and Westeros are separated by the Straits. The nine free cities were former colonies of the Free State of Valyria before its fall, with the exception of Braavos, which was founded by escaped Valyrian slaves.
It had been the home of their ancestors before the old Valyria had fallen and the ancestors of Aegon I had fled to Westeroes. A piece of her old homeland to which she had no connection.
"I'm sure there's a lot to tell about that," Aurora replied and tore a piece of bread from her body, not even knowing why she had done it. She had no appetite and just stared at the piece of bread in her hand. "Where is my grandfather?"
"Hunting with your brothers and my father."
Aurora winced. In all her panic, she had forgotten exactly that. Damn. Otto wanted her to dine with them today so they could talk about the engagement.
She tried not to let on, which she succeeded in doing with Aliandra, but Daemon gave her a knowing look, as if he knew all her fears and anxieties.
"I heard your wedding is coming up," Daemon started the conversation to her, looking at her charmingly, only as Daemon Targaryen could look. "You seem nervous."
"Were you nervous, Uncle?" Aurora asked.
"I had a wife who was uglier than a sheep, so it was only because I had to surrender to this fate."
"Ah, wonderful," Aurora murmured and gave Aliandra a look that made her friend smile.
"But you also don't seem too keen on your betrothal, niece."
It said the word 'niece' like it was a joke. As if she had no connection to him. Maybe that was even true. At least if you asked the darkest corners of Westeroes about it.
Aurora screwed up her face and stared at her bread. "What makes you say that, Uncle?" She, too, emphasized his title as if he were a strange man. When you got right down to it, he was. Daemon seemed to enjoy the game, at least one that was fun.
"Well, I have a feeling you're craving other things."
Aurora drew in a hissing breath and stared nervously at her uncle, who only gave her a sweet smile, as if there was only innocence behind his words. Her fingernail scratched across her skin. He didn't know anything, did he? How could he know? Only Aemond had caught her, and he would rather die than put a gun in Daemon Targaryen's hand. She saw Aliandra give her a curious look out of the corner of her eye. Her friend would never judge her, she knew that, but unfortunately this wasn't about Aliandra's opinion, even if it was desirable.
Stay calm, Aurora. He knows nothing. Don't give him anything to attack.
"You have no idea what I crave, Daemon."
Even she had no idea what she craved.
Every longing in her life was tied to the unavoidable fact that no one was willing to give it to her. But when she searched deep inside, looking for what her heart yearned for, there were only two answers.
Love and acceptance.
Daemon gave her a curious look, raised an eyebrow and a smirk appeared on his lips. But not one that made fun of her, rather one that took a knowing look at her, as if he could read all her thoughts.
"You'd be surprised what I know, Aurora."
His words left goosebumps all over her body. His voice was calm, almost peaceful, but there was a secret behind it that made her nervous. She looked at Daemon, searching for an answer to her question, and felt her palms grow damp. There was that ambiguity in his words again.
Aurora gave her uncle a pained smile. She didn't elaborate on his words, too afraid of what he would reveal to her, and looked out the window to calm herself and not show Daemon how much his words frightened her.
Her eyes found the wonderful view of the Martell's garden, which could hardly be more harmonious and beautiful. It truly resembled a paradise. She saw this place as peaceful, something that could give her a sense of security and she knew that although she felt she could be happy here, it would never be her true home. She longed too much for the cold place from which she had been banished.
How stupid she was. How incorrigible.
When Aurora obeyed Otto's order and turned up for lunch as requested, she found an empty table. Irritated, she looked around. A servant caught her gaze and looked at her nervously.
"Where is your master and my grandfather?"
"There's been an incident, Princess," the girl replied with a soft, cautious undertone, looking at her sympathetically.
"An incident?" She turned to look at her in irritation.
The girl nodded sadly. "One of the princes was injured and young Lord Qyl has been accused of being responsible."
Aurora winced and looked in shock at the servant girl, who was clearly uncomfortable being in the role of delivering the negative news. She could feel her palms getting wet and breathing becoming more difficult. One of her brothers was hurt?
"Who was hurt?"
The girl looked at her sympathetically. Aurora realized that she didn't know her name. She was probably new, as she was still quite young.
"I don't know princes by name, princess. Forgive me."
Aurora nodded uneasily and looked around. The square around her was empty. Only a few servants and guards stood around.
"Do you know where they are?"
"In the maester's chambers, your Grace." She could have figured it out herself, but at that moment she could hardly think straight. Without wasting another word, she ran to the maester's chambers. She didn't care whether it was proper for a lady of her rank to run or not. Nothing could be more unimportant at this moment.
Please let him be well, she begged the seven, not knowing who exactly she meant at that moment.
Just outside the maester's chambers, a pith-filled scream made her flinch and Aurora stopped as if struck by lightning.
Aegon.
It wasn't just a scream and the longer she lingered, the more pain-filled they became. They pierced Aurora's soul like sharp knife points and no matter how hard she pressed her palms to her ears, they still penetrated her. She shook her head desperately and felt the first tears welling up inside her. Suddenly the overwhelming feeling of despair and helplessness welled up inside her and as she squinted her eyes, she was suddenly no longer in Dorne but in Driftmark, where she had had to endure this kind of screaming before.
"Please, stop," she pleaded hoarsely, stumbling back to press her back against the wall behind her and let herself slide down it. Her fingers clawed her hair and her teeth bit down so hard on her lower lip that she tasted her own blood.
She saw the young Aemond in front of her, clenching his hand over his bloody eye and screaming in agony. She saw how everyone stood around him and how they lifted Aemond, who was almost fainting from the pain. And she saw the look Aemond had given her with his healthy eye when he realized what Lucerys Velaryon had hurt him with. Her chest burned with guilt and pain, heaving from side to side.
"Aurora..."
This time it was Aegon who was hurt, and even though she knew it wasn't her fault, she felt nothing but guilt in that moment. She hated herself for what she had done, she hated herself so much in that second that she wanted nothing more than to be engulfed by the darkness that surrounded her.
"Stop it," she breathed over and over. "I'm so sorry." She couldn't bear Aegon's cries. Even though she knew nothing but cruelty from him, she had never wanted him to suffer. She was not a vengeful person, even though she had often wished that Aegon would be punished for his actions, but hearing his screams drove away every evil thought and only made room for remorse and regret.
"Aurora."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I-"
"Aurora!" Suddenly, two strong hands grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from her ears. Aurora was pulled up and her haunted eyes turned to the person in front of her in confusion. At first her vision was blurry and she took in nothing but her own confusion before she recognized the person in front of her.
"Aemond?" she whispered irritably and could do nothing but stare at her brother. Aemond looked down at her seriously and his scrutinizing gaze slid over her face. Suddenly she realized what a sight she must be making, but when she tried to break away from him to hide her face, his gaze tightened.
"Why are you crying?" he asked and Aurora looked down at the floor in shame. She felt weak, exposed and embarrassed. She hadn't given a second thought to the fact that everyone could see her in this state. She stared at her feet, wrapped in dark green shoes, and right now she wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground.
"I-," she began, but she couldn't find the words. There was a void in her head and she didn't know whether it was because she was standing directly opposite Aemond and his hands were wrapped around her wrists, or whether it was the memory of the night that had changed everything.
How was she supposed to explain to him that it wasn't just Aegon's screams, but the memory of his own that was tormenting her at that moment.
"I," she began again, once more lacking a suitable explanation.
Instead, she asked, "What happened?"
"Aegon got hurt. But nothing serious."
"But he-"
"Has a penchant for the dramatic."
Aurora nodded exhaustedly and took a deep breath. A tear that had been hiding in the corner of her eye found an escape route and rolled down her cheek.
Aemond's eyebrows drew together and her gaze landed on the scar that stretched across both her eye and her eyebrow. Aemond opened his mouth to say something, but stopped short and whatever he was going to say, he seemed to hold back. Instead, his gaze landed on her hands and Aurora followed his gaze. She saw her ruined, partially bloody fingernails and winced as she realized that Aemond now had an unrestricted view of them, with no chance to hide them from him, she wished nothing more than to disappear into the ground.
Aemond's knowing gaze met her again and Aurora looked to the ground in shame.
"Don't look at me like that," she pleaded, knowing how pathetic she sounded. What a sight she must have made. Ashamed, she suppressed new burgeoning tears and turned her head away before she felt a gentle but firm grip around her chin and was forced to lift her gaze again.
Startled, she looked into Aemond's blue eyes, which always reminded her of the sky and had once been the only sight that had made her feel safe. Suddenly everything felt so unreal, as if she had traveled back in time and was once again standing in front of the boy who had once torn her little world apart.
Aemond's fingers burned against her skin and she could do nothing but stare at him and wait for him to say something, but her brother remained silent. She wondered what he was thinking, what he was feeling.
"You need to pull yourself together," Aemond said suddenly. "You can't present your weakness here on a silver platter."
"We're among friends here," she replied hesitantly, even though she knew he was right. She had forgotten who she was. Where she was. Even though she felt comfortable in Dorne, she knew of the dislike for her house. Her name.
"That is naïve and foolish," Aemond judged harshly. Yes, apparently she was. "The worst betrayals come from those you don't expect."
The worst betrayals come from those you don't expect.
She didn't know if Aemond was still talking about this situation, or if he had been transported back in time just like her, knowing that there had once been different feelings between them. Suddenly everything felt unreal, like a dream she was afraid to wake up from. Aemond's hand on her chin left a tingling sensation on her skin, triggered a longing in her that she hadn't felt for a long time, and made her want to simply wrap her arms around his body and press herself against his chest, knowing that it was all good.
Aemond's touch was like fire, and she was ready to burn.
Aurora didn't know what had gotten into her, but when her eyes settled on a dark spot on Aemond's face, her body took on a life of its own and before she knew what she was doing, she was gently brushing her fingers over Aemond's face, removing the dirt from his skin.
Aemond's eyes widened and for a moment she recognized the boy before her who was once her world. For a moment, they were where they had once been. For a moment, everything was like it used to be. For a moment she felt like she was where she wanted to be, before Aemond's let go of her chin and captured her fingers. She flinched as his hand wrapped around hers.
Her brother said nothing, but he didn't need to.
She knew she'd gone too far.
"You really can't keep your hands off each other, can you?"
Aurora looked to the side, startled, straight into Qyl's dark eyes, which settled on her in judgment. Qyl gave them both a disparaging look and Aurora realized what a sight they must make. Ashamed, she tried to tear herself away from Aemond, but her brother seemed to have other plans, for his hand gripped her wrist tightly.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I was reassuring my sister, who was upset about what you did," Aemond replied coldly and Aurora gave him an irritated look. She had no idea what Qyl was supposed to have done. "What a shameful situation, her own betrothed attacking her brother."
She saw anger flash in Qyl's eyes.
Qyl had attacked Aegon?
"What I have done? How nice of you to spread tales about this accident that was your brother's own fault."
"So Aegon twisted his own arm behind his back and dislocated his shoulder?"
Qyl tilted his head slightly and smiled. "No, that was me." Then his gaze wandered to Aurora, or rather to her wrist, which was still adorned by Aemond's hand. "I was just giving him a lesson after he wouldn't refrain from making unseemly comments about my betrothed."
"Aegon is the heir to the iron throne," Aemond hissed warningly, without responding to what was said. Apparently that was reason enough to accept his insults about her or simply because nobody cared. She was not surprised.
"Is he?" Qyl asked with mock irritation, scratching his chin questioningly. "I always thought that Rhaenyra Targaryen would sit on the throne."
Only now did she realize what Aemond had said. She wasn't surprised that he thought so. It surprised her that he said it out loud. Everyone knew that the king had appointed Rhaenyra as heir and had never deviated from it, even though he had three sons.
Aemond fell silent in response, but the grip on her wrist tightened. Aurora pressed her lips together but did not dare to pull her hand away. Instead, she just stood helplessly next to her brother, who was obviously doing his best to control himself.
"But to be honest, I don't care if someone with a cunt or a cock is going to sit on the throne," Qyl said roughly, letting his eyes wander back to Aurora, who flinched under his stern gaze. Qyl had never been one to mince his words, but that he was so vulgar was news to her. And that he looked at her like that, too. She didn't understand what had gotten into him. What had she done wrong? "I'm more concerned that the princes of this realm think they can grope my fiancée at every opportunity, as if it were a contest between them."
Then Qyl looked at her, his gaze slightly dismissive, "even if she doesn't really seem averse to it."
Aurora flinched. Qyl had never looked at her like that before. She opened her mouth, but Aemond beat her to it.
"Careful, what you're saying could have dangerous repercussions."
"Is that so? For whom? Me? For you? For Aegon Targaryen? It seems to me that you don't care about women anyway, so why the spectacle?"
Qyl came closer again, while Aemond did not move an inch. He stood there like an insurmountable wall, like a stature that not even a sword blow could bring down.
"You forget your position, Martell," Aemond warned, reaching for the hilt of his sword. Qyl followed his movement and raised an eyebrow.
"The only thing I want is for you and your brother to respect your sister more," Qyl admitted in surprise and Aurora looked at him, dumbfounded. "And you could start by taking your hands off her."
Aurora hadn't expected Qyl to come to her defense. He had just condemned her and now he wanted people to show her respect? She couldn't figure Qyl out.
Whatever Aegon must have said about her again had obviously made him so angry that he'd gotten physical, and if this situation didn't defuse right away, she was sure that neither Qyl nor Aemond would come out of this unscathed.
Qyl had always behaved indifferently towards her. Even though she found this moment extremely unpleasant, it touched her that Qyl was standing up for her.
Aemond made no response, but his grip slowly loosened on Aurora while his gaze remained on Qyl. The two engaged in a battle with their gazes in which neither seemed to want to give in. Aurora rubbed her wrist and looked frantically back and forth between the two young men, unsure of what she could say that would defuse the situation until the gods took pity on her and sent Aliandra Martell to her.
"It's always extremely amusing that men joke about women's emotions, but I get to prevent a bloody fight between creatures with a fucking cock every time," she hissed annoyed and pushed herself between her brother and Aemond. "I mean, it's really funny at times, but I don't want another screaming Targaryen prince in this house."
Okay, diplomacy wasn't really Aliandra's thing either, but before Aemond even had a chance to respond, her friend grabbed her brother's wrist and reached for Aurora with her second hand, who willingly allowed herself to be pulled along.
"Father wants to see you, Qyl," she informed her brother. "Don't make a scene and be obedient for once in your life, do you understand?" Her voice left no room for argument and although Qyl tensed, he nodded and removed his hand from Aliandra's to leave. Aliandra looked after him, annoyed.
Aurora turned to Aemond, who turned away from her. Without thinking about it, she reached for him, which was a mistake. Aemond flung her hand away and she backed away, startled. His angry, icy gaze settled on her.
Aurora inhaled sharply and pressed her hand against her chest.
"Don't ever touch me again," he warned and goose bumps slid over her body. Suddenly there was that old familiar hostility, and Aurora could do nothing but stare at her brother while he looked at her as if she were nothing but scum in his eyes.
She probably was.
Aemond turned without another word and left the square outside Aegon's hospital room. Aurora followed him for as long as she could with her gaze, until Aemond was no longer visible and the only thing that remained of him was his scent.
"Men."
Aurora turned in surprise to her friend, who was also following Aemond.
Aliandra twisted her mouth and rolled her eyes.
Only now did Aurora realize that Aegon's screams had stopped.
Just like her tears.
Aurora couldn't sleep that night. She didn't know if it was because of the full moon, or if it was just because she could still feel Aemond's touch on her skin.
Aemond hadn't said anything to Otto, contrary to her expectations, or Otto had been too busy looking after the well-being of his grandson, who had escaped with a dislocated arm. Perhaps he would storm into her chambers at any moment and wrap his cold, bony fingers around her neck to finally remove her from his sight.
Whatever happened, she wouldn't be able to change it.
Just as she couldn't change herself.
Or what had happened.
Aemond had made it clear what he thought of her. Aegon had made it clear what he thought of her.
They still shared their dislike of her and Aurora understood that she would never change that.
Aurora had always longed for Aemond to forgive her one day, to accept her back into his arms, but she realized that would never happen. Aemond hated her and he always would. He would break her heart in pieces again and again until there was nothing left of it, and even then he would find a way to keep stomping on it.
She was stupid and naïve, she knew that, foolish, but she had always had that hope in her. Maybe it was time to say goodbye to that hope.
She would spend her life here. She would have Qyl's children and become a Dornish wife, and even if it wasn't what she wanted, she knew it was the only thing that would protect her from further torment.
Aliandra had made it clear to her that she had to convince Qyl, and Aurora realized that there was no other way to swallow her pride. Qyl had been given the wrong impression and the presence of her brothers didn't make it any better. She had to make it clear to him that she would not disgrace him.
If Qyl broke off this engagement, she would have nothing.
Panic rose in her and before she realized it, she reached for a candle and let her feet carry her to his chambers. Her knock on his bedroom door echoed through the corridor, just like the hammering of her heart, then beat brutally against her chest.
Forget your pride.
Forget your fear.
Forget your honor.
Forget yourself.
The door opened hesitantly and a sleepy Qyl looked at her in irritation. His dark hair was messy and disheveled. At that moment, he looked cute. Innocent. Young.
"Aurora?"
Before Qyl could say anything, Aurora leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. She pressed her lips against his and tasted oranges and wine, which he must have consumed before going to bed. Qyl pulled away from her in irritation, but Aurora reached for him again.
"Aurora, stop I-"
"You don't have to say anything," she interrupted him as he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away. She had to convince him and she had to show him that she was on his side. She couldn't upset him any further. "I know."
"What? What do you know?" Qyl seemed genuinely confused.
"That you don't desire me," she admitted. It was shameful to say it, but she knew it was the truth. "And I don't know if I can ever change that, but I'll make an effort. Whatever you want, I will try to meet your demands. What you perceived between my brothers and I was nothing, I swear to you."
Liar.
"Aurora, stop it."
"I can learn. I'm sure that-" She reached for him again, but Qyl pushed her roughly away. She looked at him, startled, as she stumbled backwards.
Qyl looked at her apologetically.
"Forgive me, Aurora." Qyl looked to the side and Aurora noticed his hands forming into fists. What was happening here? Was she so repulsive to him that even her touch disgusted him?
"Why?" she breathed desperately, feeling nothing but helplessness inside her.
"You know why."
Of course she knew why. She knew now. Although, perhaps she had always known. No matter what situation she found herself in, somehow she always managed to be unwanted.
"It's not fair," she spat bitterly. "How am I supposed to keep up?"
"You can't keep up," Qyl replied dryly with a tired smile. "No one can. Not even myself. I have tried. Several times." There was pain in his voice, and pity. She wondered if it was for himself or for her. "I can't desire a woman. I can't even fake it. Maybe that's why it was decided that way."
Aurora tilted her head in irritation. What was Qyl talking about?
"What? About which decision are you talking about?" she asked haphazardly.
Qyl looked at her in surprise. "You don't know yet?" She saw him tense up, and suddenly Aurora was overcome with fear. That was not a good sign. Her stomach tightened as Qyl grimaced. "I thought that's why you were here."
"I don't understand."
Qyl was silent for a moment, doing nothing but staring at her. Aurora's panic rose and she stepped towards him. "What are you talking about, Qyl?"
He swallowed. Suddenly a shadow of sadness and regret flitted across his face and he slowly took a step towards her as if to reassure her.
"You're going back to King's Landing." Aurora could do nothing but stare at his lips, completely caught off guard by his words.
Why should she go back to King's Landing? Her home was here? Should she go back with him to get married there? Did her mother want to see her? What was happening here?
Suddenly everything seemed so unrealistic, like a dream she would wake up from at any moment.
"Lord Hightower and my father have broken off our engagement today."
But unfortunately she didn't wake up, because this was bitter reality.