"DON'T KILL EACH OTHER!" Mikasa yelled from the sidelines over the sticky taped-up ropes surrounding the fighting arena.
"Awww Mikasa that's no fun, it's only a few weeks till world's and we need to practise." Armin whined over me in his choking hold. I chuckled and tapped him on the arm signalling that he won the round as he released his grasp.
"I don't think you need to worry that much dude, you're better at self-defense than anyone in the team." I acknowledged giving Armin a cheeky smile. Armin laughed shyly blushing so hard that his face became as red as a tomato.
"Eren's right Armin, you could give me a run for my money." Mikasa genuinely said passing Armin and I towels and water bottles.
"Thanks guys I really appreciate it." I vaulted over the ring and held the ropes open for Armin to get out. We jumped off the elevated platform and made our way to the showers to wash ourselves off. Being best friends and living with each other meant that seeing each other shirtless in just our underwear was a comfortable habit but I still couldn't get over how nice and toned Armin's body was and butterflies ended up filling me from head to toe every time I looked.
Armin trained for hours everyday, more so with world's coming up. He was very committed to his martial arts, sometimes he wouldn't sleep, spending his time researching into his opponent's weaknesses and strengths. The light glistening off his body made him nothing short of a model in my eyes. I lifted my shirt off and jumped into the shower next to him. We turned on the water simultaneously from the panels beside us and let the warm refreshing water cleanse us. I looked over at Armin who had his eyes closed with a slight grin on his face as he took out his ponytail and let the water run down his neck and body soaking his hair down to his shoulders. He was so beautiful when he was at peace.
"What?" I asked.
"Hm? Oh nothing just enjoying the water." I nodded and closed my eyes to do the same. My sense of hearing was enlightened with the splash of the water on the tiled ground and the sudden footsteps coming towards me. I opened my eyes and looked to my side to see Armin tenderly looking at spot on my chest.
"Did I do that?" I looked down at my chest where we was pointing and found a purplish-black mark where Armin had kicked while we were sparring.
"Don't worry about it, it doesn't hurt or anything." He traced his finger on it gently causing me to slightly wince in pain. I bit my lip trying to muffle the hiss as I didn't want the concerned boy to worry. He looked up towards my face biting his own lip and carefully hugged me making sure that he was not touching the area of pain.
"Hey, I said don't worry about it, really. It's part of the art, we all get hurt at some point." I tried to assure him. I stroked his hair to try and make him feel better. His breath spilled into my shoulder and then lowered towards my chest. He pressed his lips against the mark. It was slow yet soft and gentle making my whole body tingle with warmth. My heart started to race.
He lifted himself so that he our faces were under the same stream from the shower head.
"It doesn't mean I want to see you get hurt. I'm getting an ice-pack for you." He ran his hands over the panel to turn his water off and made his way out of the shower room leaving me standing there under the water breath-taken.
---
The last thing I wanted when I walked through the door was to be bombarded with questions. My mentally unstable and drowsy condition could not cope with it at that moment. But my mother was insistent on asking why I came home so early. It wasn't that early, only about twelve so I didn't understand what she was going on about. Though I loved how kind and caring she was, I just wanted to collapse and forget the night had ever happened. I pulled out of her tight grasp when she noticed a scar running down my lip. She squished my cheeks together to get a closer look which made the cut sting and start bleeding the bad memories again. I pried at her hands to let go.
"Eren, you're not getting into fights again are you?"
"No mother, I'm fine." I exasperated. It mustn't have been convincing. She transferred her arms to her chest and crossed them, giving me a look that said I know you're lying.
"Really, I just... tripped on a curve and hit my head, I'm serious. It's fine." She still wasn't convinced but she didn't persist.
"As long as you're okay, but I still don't understand why you wouldn't be out later, I didn't set a curfew or anything."
"So?" I asked
"It's just that... You're at that age where... you will... damn it, your dad was supposed to give you this talk." Oh god no not this talk!
"Mother no it's fine... I'm not going to- it's- no-" It was getting too awkward to handle so I said nothing more and took sanctuary in the safety of my bedroom. My mother didn't seem to get the message as she followed me to my safe haven and sat on my bed continuing the conversation.
"You just need to make sure you're being safe is all I'm saying sweetie."
"I thought I already told you. I'm gay and don't worry I'm a virgin."
"YOU CAN STILL GET STD'S!" I buried my head in my hands. This was going nowhere. I stood up, took my mother by the hands and dragged her out of my room. I kissed her goodnight and closed the door of my room. The faint 'love you' echoed from outside my room. My boots slipped off and my bed creaked when I climbed on top of it staring at the ceiling.
The ceiling was blank and monotoned yet it held all the colourful memories of me and Armin as kids. There was yellows and greens of when we would laugh until our stomachs cramped but there were also reds and greys from the traumas he- well, we faced. In the first few weeks of his mother's death when we became friends he wasn't able to sleep so he would come into my room and we would stare at the ceiling talking about nothing. I would stay awake with him until my voice calmed him to the point of unconsciousness. Occasionally he would toss and turn from nightmares of his mother which he told me about when he awoke. I would pull him to my chest to shush his painful sobbing while stroking his hair until his bad thoughts left. It killed me knowing he was mentally wounded, I just wanted to rip out the bad thoughts from his memories and burn them in the deepest parts of hell where they belonged, not buried in that faultless loving boys mind.
I felt a tear slide past my eye. How could he of all people be the Shadowstrike. He was so kind. So innocent. Yes, he was brilliant at self-defence but that's all he would use it for, self-defence. He hated hurting people. When we would compete he would always go up to his competitor afterwards to make sure they were okay and he didn't injure them. Mikasa was right I must have been delusional. Someone slipped something in my drink maybe and I was just seeing things. I kept to trying to make-up excuses proving I was misinterpreting the situation but I could not deny that that voice and that hair was definitely his,
I suggest you step to the side, this could get messy. Those were not the words of the sensitive, caring friend I knew. They were the words of psychopathic killer who took joy in the suffering of others. If he was really alive all this time why couldn't he come back? Didn't he realise that I thought he was dead? Why would he put me through this much grief to just bestow it on others? He was definitely always intelligent enough to keep his identity hidden but why? These questions repeated in my head until they lost their meaning and they pulled me into a forced and restless sleep.
---
The sound of the slide and shift of my window opening startled me to consciousness. I sat up to the click of it closing to see a familiar blue-eyed boy, moonlight refracting off his shining blond hair. Armin! I jumped out of bed to see the face I had been longing to see for so long but he wouldn't turn to me. Quiet sobs emitted around me, coming from the smaller boy. His glassy eyes stared up at mine and pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm so sorry I left Eren." He sobbed into my chest.
I put my hands around him, shutting my tired eyes and burying myself into his shoulder.
"No no Armin, it was my fault, I should've protected you." I announced still holding him in my trembling arms. He removed himself from my hold and wrapped his arms around my neck. I opened my eyes to see his right in front of mine, no longer with a hint of sadness but with a sense of lust. His breath tickled my mouth as his tear-soaked lips were only centimetres away from mine. He slowly closed his eyes and moved closer, past my lips and to my ear.
"You're right." He whispered almost inaudibly. He backed away with his head tilted towards the ground. The sobbing had stopped, replaced with rapid breaths followed by a high-pitched devilish laugh.
"Armin?" I questioned. His normal casual clothing had changed to a full black attire and his eyes, a beautiful blue only seconds before were a dark yet vibrant purple. His eyebrows were furrowed, he had a crooked smile and violet streaks ran through his fringe making him look infernal.
"You should've protected me Eren." He grunted with a laugh. He pulled out the same two blue-tinted blades he killed that thug Reiner with. It still held his dried up blood on them. I retreated backwards, falling on to my bed frantically scurrying on my hands and feet in fear. He jumped on top of me with both knees on either side of my body to pin me down straddling me on the bed. If he looked as he did when he came through the window I would have pictured this scene as sexual intimacy but right now, it was anything but. He had one blade to my neck and the other behind him. The scent of the remains of his past kills on the blade made me wonder what his next victim would pick up when he finished disposing of me.
I tried to scramble free but every time I moved he would drive his blade deeper into my throat.
"See what you've done to me, it's because of you that I'm this way... Now you have to pay." He raised both blades above his head ready to end my life.
"Armin... NO!."
---
I jolted awake, desperately catching on to whatever bit of air I could muster, with the all too familiar feeling of sweat pouring down my face and soaking my bed-sheets. Heavy footsteps ran down the hallway followed by my mother who looked as if she had just woken up slamming my door open. She ran over to me, her hair in a tangle of knots from last nights sleep. She felt my pulse and gasped.
"I heard you scream, what happened?" I wanted to answer but I couldn't. Partly because my mind couldn't fathom words from lack of breath and the burden it would bring if I told her. I didn't want her to worry and unlike the other times I had nightmares, I actually remembered what happened in that one. If that was what all my nightmares were like, I was glad I didn't recall them.
"It... it was just a dream... it's okay... I'm fine now." I babbled. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before she headed back to her bedroom to catch up on some much needed sleep. I attempted to lift myself off my bed but immediately collapsed to the ground with a splitting pain on the side of my head and a cramp running through the backs of my legs to my lower back. That was some nightmare I pondered as I made a second attempt at removing myself from that hell-binding mind prison I called a bed.
I was glad that it was a dream though. The thought of Armin being that demonic creature made me sick to my stomach. No doubt the fact that he saved me and took out that thug with one swift strike was pretty amazing, but it's better that those events remain just that. A nightmare. I finally managed to pull myself up and make my way to the bathroom. I turned on the light and trembled at the sight that was staring back at me. My face was blotched with dirt, cuts and bruises. Eyes bloodshot and hair sticky with old and new sweat. There was a cut running vertically across the side of my lip, I could still taste the metallic liquid from it. No, but it was a dream. I looked down to my leg which gave me proof of last night's events which should of have just been in my head. A purple hand mark where that thug crawled and grabbed me. It was real. But where did it end. Was it all real or were some of the events just a dream. I couldn't tell no matter how hard I tried.
I felt a buzz in my back pocket and struggled to pull it out from the shaking of my body. It was a text from Connie.
"Dude what happened last night??!! Turn on the news"
I rushed down the hallway and turned on the TV to reveal my dream in a visual reality. It was footage that looked as if it was taken from somebody's phone of the Shadowstrike pushing me away and going after the built thug with the headline 'The Shadow-Strikes again.' It was quite blurry so you couldn't make out my face but you could definitely tell that without a doubt that the purple blur attacking those thugs was the Shadow.
"Shit!"
"Eren Jaeger watch you mouth!" I heard my mum call from her bedroom. I clenched my hair in my hands and started mumbling incoherent words while pacing up and down the hallway. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. I repeated over and over until the phrase became nothing more than a continuous noise rolling off my dry scratchy tongue. I looked at the time to reveal that I was running unbelievably late for school. I must of lost of track of time in my episode of confusion. I ran to my room, yanked my uniform on clumsily, then rushed out the door, almost forgetting my bag in the process.
---
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I recited to myself when I walked into the classroom full of chattering students. I swore I heard 'Shadowstrike' about five times before I sat down crossed legged on top of my desk with my friends which didn't help my already vulnerable state.
"Damn dude, what happened last night you look buggered." Sasha pointed out, the slightest hint of concern hidden amongst her sarcastic tone.
"Yea you completely bailed, you missed the Sasha's amazing fail." She punched Bert in the shoulder instructing him to not say anything.
"Okay, how was I supposed to know the bartender was... " I tuned out of my friend's conversation which eventually began to blur out as my mind kept jumping from thought to thought. Connie raised his eyebrows at me to get my assurance that I was okay. I shook my head in defeat as our teacher walked in and we all went to our assigned seats.
Our teacher began taking attendance when I felt something hit the back of my head. I looked at the projectile pen and averted my gaze to Connie who I saw mouth the words 'you sure you're okay'. He pointed to to my touch-book signaling me to read it. A message from Connie had popped up at the corner of the screen;
'What happened last night?'
I wrote my response back telling him that I would probably tell him at lunch. Hopefully I'm still awake or even alive by then. I mumbled silently to myself.
Attempting to listen to my teacher talk about a sheep named Dolly became easier then I would of thought. I found myself intrigued by my teacher's words of knowledge. I learned that Dolly the sheep was one of the first successful experiments that confirmed that we could in fact clone DNA. He continued talking about his opinions on the research of human growth DNA alteration sequencing along with the ethical issues of stem-cell research. People in recent years had attempted to splice the nucleotides from a species' DNA structure and mix them with another specimen to see if they could create a genetically modified cross-bred creature. It was very hard to determine a final result as most of the specimens died and each one's DNA responded differently.
I was taking some notes down on the teacher's lecture when an official I didn't recognise came up to the door and signaled my teacher over. I looked back at Connie who shrugged then continued to type. I felt this odd sense of uneasiness at his presence and I knew better by then to ignore it.
"Mr. Jaeger, Principal Pixis would like to see you in his office. He says it's urgent." I stood up from my chair slowly and slumped my shaky legs to the doorway. I took a quick look back at my friends before following the unrecognisable teacher to his office. The teacher stopped when we were in front of the principal's door and knocked. A felt a hand grab my shoulder which ignited a spark of realisation. Our school didn't assign teachers to send us to the principal. I went to run but he quickly put a hand around my mouth to muffle the noise and opened the door with his free hand.
I kicked and screamed under his grasp for him to let go of me which he did once we were in the principal's office. The principal's chair was turned so it's back faced me but other than that there was nothing out of the ordinary. I heard the clunk of something heavy behind me. The same type of men as I saw in my dream (or apparently the night before) dressed in all black with a hood hiding their identity were weaving a metal bar through the two handles of the door like it was a weightless piece of malleable wire locking it in place. No way in. No way out.
"Ah Eren Jaeger is it?" I recognised the same voice from yesterday. The same voice that grunted in pain as the Shadow's blade punctured his stomach and cut him in half. He swiveled his chair around and there he was. The same Reiner that I saw die looking as healthy as ever. He had his hands clasped together on the desk and a wicked smile played on his face harmoniously with his devilish purple eyes. The same eyes as the Shadow's except less beautiful and more fiendish. Maybe I was still dreaming. I subtly pinched my thigh to test my theory but I did not awaken.
"What do you want?" I dared to ask.
"Oh come on Eren this is the twenty-third century, you can do better than that. That's such a generic question."
"Fine. How the actual fuck are you alive?" I was not in the mood to cooperate with this ghost of a man. I didn't care what he did to me. I gave up trying to survive a year and a half ago and there was no way I could get out of this.
"Tsk, tsk, still generic, you should know I'm not going to tell you anything." He removed himself from the chair and traveled slowly to the window. The faintest refraction of light off something metal bounced into my line of sight. Taking a closer look I saw Reiner had a knife twirling through his fingers.
"You're heart's racing. It's good you're scared. Only an idiot wouldn't be. Like your vigilante friend." I growled in fury at his words. I was no longer saddened or scared but angry. What did this person want so badly that he had to raid my school and get me here alone with him? He turned around from the window and made his way in my direction. I backed away as much as I could until my back hit the locked door. He was standing uncomfortably close, his body heat radiating off him on to me.
I took the opportunity to take a closer look at his intriguing eyes. I noticed that through the bright purple there were flecks of black and grey so I ruled out the possibility that it could be contacts to imply the idea of intimidation. It looked like he was born with it, like it was a genetic mutation, thinking back to the lesson I was just in.
"Really? A genetic mutation? So he is smart." My voice collapsed to my lungs. I made no indication as to that was what was going through my head but he just replied to my thoughts as if I was having a lengthy conversation with him. His leather gloved hand went to my chin and lifted it up so that I was looking up to him.
"I know what you're thinking. Who are you? Who do you work for? Why am I so important? Well I can tell you right now that you should stop being so vain." He gestured with two clicks to the two men either side of me to hold my arms to my side. I was unable to move, restricted again like I was when that kidnapper broke my knees. I tried to scream again but Reiner straight away had his hand over my mouth. He removed his hand when he was satisfied that I was done with my shouting
"Why am I here then?" I thought out loud aimed at no one in particular.
In a swift motion, Reiner pulled the blade of his knife out from his sleeve, tracing it on my collar bone over my collared shirt.
"We are using you as bait... For now... He cares about you. He will come if he knows you're in danger and believe me, it won't take me long for me to convince him you are." He pulled the knife away and sat up on the principal's desk. Though I was quite scared for my life my mind wandered to the question of where the Principal was at that moment. What my friends were talking about, whether they knew I was in danger, if they would miss me when I was gone. He positioned the knife behind his body as if to throw it like a dart. He was going to use me as a human dartboard? And I thought the Shadow was psychotic.
I was in too much shock to cry or shriek. All I could do was sit there and wait for Reiner to inevitably cause me pain and eventually take my life. I accepted death as a friend, maybe I would see Armin again I thought or even my dad. One of the guards pulled a cloth from his pocket and gagged it around my mouth. I wanted to beg them stop, I wanted to plead pathetically for mercy but I was stubborn and just kept my head held high as they used a chain to tie my wrists together to the door. The two guards walked away when the heavy padlock was fastened to the cold metal around my wrists and stood beside the purple-eyed monster.
"You've got guts, maybe you're not as smart as I thought." I shook violently to try and free myself from the restraints but only succeeded in cutting into the bony flesh on my hands sending my own blood dripping down the door.
He threw the knife with such precision and such speed, that it hit directly between my shoulder blade and neck. I didn't know if it anything vital and I was in too much pain to dwell on the subject. It was as if a heated barb wire was being tugged through my tendons, clinging on to whatever piece of tissue it could. I tried to scream but the sound was cut-off by the rotting gag in between my teeth that tasted like old sawdust and blood. It was liking screaming into a black endless hole of my only chance of escape. I was about to allow myself to fall unconscious from the pain when Armin's voice came into my head.
"Don't give up Eren! You have to fight! Don't cause your friends the same suffering as I caused you!" It was as if a memory played in my head but it felt like he was standing right next to me yelling the words in my ear. That voice was right, it couldn't end like this. If I was going to go, I was going to go with a fight. For my mother, for my friends, for Armin, I would continue to fight 'till my last dying breath. I frantically lashed out and shrieked through the cloth constantly struggling to get the painful chains off.
"That's it Eren, keep going, he should be here in no time." Reiner removed the blade from my shoulder and stood further back from me throwing the knife directly into my thigh.
When I was attacked those many months ago, my knees ended up collapsing and an artery was torn as well as my hamstring being ripped apart. Most of the nerves in the muscles of my legs had become jacked up and it was very hard for me to feel anything in the lower quarter of my body. But when that blade sliced through the fleshy coating of my skin, no amount of medical nerve ending surgery could of stopped the violent wail that escaped my lips. I refused to let the salty drops fall from my eyes. I didn't know how, but I was going to get out of this.
---
"Don't you fucking dare!"
"Jean stop holding me back I need to get in there!"
"It's a trap! You know it's a trap!"
"HE'S GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING!"
"Then I'm going, you stay here and keep out of sight."
"But then he will see you?"
"It's better he see me and not recognise me then he see you and freak."
"Then hurry, we are running out of time."
"You owe me big time and don't you dare try and talk to him with your mind, telepathy whatever."
"You should've asked me sooner... "