Thank you for waiting!
As always *Unedited*
》ENZO《
I feel like it's been so long since I last felt her presence. Smelled her sweet scent.
And hear her voice. Her familiar calming and angelic voice.
Somewhere in my heart I know that I've been missing all of those. Something that I've been longing for.
Hindi ko alam kung kailan nag-simulang magising ang diwa ko. Nagka-malay tao lang ako ngunit hindi minsmo ako. Hindi ang katawan ko. Pero kahit ganun ay masaya pa rin aakong marinig muli ang tinig nya.
I feel like I was in heaven listening to angels sing sa tuwing magku-kwento sya nang nangyari sa araw nya. O di naman kaya ng tungkol sa anak namin.
Wait! Am I already in heaven? Is that mean am I already dead?
I don't think so. Because i felt numb. My entire body felt stiffed and ichy, like I was been paralyzed for some time now. The half part of my head felt weird, like something has been removed from it. But still felt heavy. Weird.
Isa pa nararamdaman ko sya, ang presensya nya. Her familiar warmth. Her gentle warmth that kept on spreading all over my body and through my heart. I can always feel it, sa tuwing malapit sya sa akin... sa tuwing nasa tabi ko sya.
One more thing, ang maramdaman ang pag-galaw ng anak namin mula sa sinapupunan nya ay sapat na para masabi ko sa sarili kong buhay pa ako. Hindi magtatagal makikita ko rin sya - sila, at makakausap.
I don't know where I was or what I have been doing before falling into a sleep. Or in this situation I'm in right now. Though one thing is for sure and that is, I still want to keep on sleeping. I felt so tired that I want to continue lying in this bed. I want to keep on resting.
But every time I thought of it... just the mere thought of it, my guts keep telling me to open my eyes and look at her. To see her once again. And hold her again. A part of me want to snapped out of this slumber I am in.
Because every time I hear her voice, its trembling. Her voice that keep on asking and telling me to wake up were strainned and sad. That kind of voice makes my heart constrict in a painful way.
I don't really like how she sound while talking to me. Because her voice alone tell me that she's sad... she's hurting and she's in pain. Lagi ko rin syang naririnig na umiiyak. I don't like it. I don't like all of it. Though i can't do anything about it. I can't do anything to help her.
I don't want her sad. I rather have her pissed or mad at me than being sad... Than cry because of me. She should be nothing but happy. She should be smiling or laughing not shedding her tears for me. I want her happy... all the time.
Katulad ngayon nandito syang muli sa tabi ko. Buhay ang diwa ko ngunit hindi ang katawang tao ko. I always look forward to this, her being with me. Her being by my side.
But sometimes before I even knew it my mind would already be driftted away into the darkness. I would always fight back not to lose conciousness but in the end I always lose. I always have the urge to answer her and talk back to her but before I knew it, I can no longer hear her. I'm back into nothingness... Into the darkness.
Kaya masaya akong nandito syang muli sa tabi ko. At the same time its making me sad to hear her crying voice again. Its making my heart hurt. I feel like someone wants to crashed my heart into pieces. I want to tell her to stop. I want to hussed her every time she's crying but I can't. I can't open my eyes. I kept on trying but i really can't. I can't even move a muscle. Damn it!
I badly want to see you baby... Please don't cry. -- I want so much to tell her those words, but I can't.
How am I supposed to make her feel better? I want to make her feel better! Gustong gusto ko nang magakit sa sarili ko dahil wala man lang akong magawa!
She's close to me, I can feel her warmth, I can hear her voice yet I feel like she's too far for me to reach. I want to hold her again. To kissed her again but I can't! I want to talk to her about our baby, but i can't! This is so frustrating! I feel like I'm about to cry too.
I kept on trying and trying and trying to open my eyes but my eyelids felt heavy. I tried to move my fingers or even a muscle but they won't buldge. My body felt so damn heavy. Na para bang gawa sa bato ang buong katawan ko.
She said something again, but I can't understand her. Then I felt a warm tingling sensation on lips. It was so familiar that it makes me think that she kissed me. And if I can just open my fucking eyes and makes my body moved I would definitely kissed her back... Senseless!
I already missed her so bad!
Sinubukan kong muli na ibuka ang bibig ko para mag-salita. To tell her that I'm okay. That I love her. That I won't die without seeing my son. Without marrying her. Pero walang nangyari, hindi ko maibuka ang bibig ko o maigalaw man lang. And I'm hating it. It is so damn frustrating!
If I can, I want to beat the hell out of myself for being this pathetic. Dahil wala akong magawa para sa kanya.
Hindi ko na naman namalayang muli akong nakatulog... mas tamang sabihin tinangay na naman ang diwa ko sa kung saan. Hanggang sa muli akong makaraninig ng mga boses sa paligid ko.
"I feel sorry for Cheyne. Having to go through those painful labor without the guys who impregnated her. Tsk tsk."
"If this go on, pag hindi pa rin sya gumising for the next hour he'll be missing a lot... Memorable things such as being there for his first born son. Pagsisisihan nyang hindi masaksihan ang pag-silang ng anak nila."
Hindi ko masyadong maintindihan ang pinagu-usapan nila but for some unknown reason my heart suddenly beat erratically. Like I'm about to missed something so important.
I tried waking up. But my eyes still felt heavy, though this time I moved a finger. And I got this feeling that I can finally woke up because of that.
And so I tried again. Slowly.., so slowly I cracked my eyes open though I have to shut it half way because I was blinded by light. I couldn't help but groaned nang maramdaman ko na ang bigat ng katawan at ulo ko.
Again, kahit mabigat ang pakiramdam ng mga mata ko ay dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang mga ito, bumaling rin ako sa gilid para iwasan ang liwanag. Sa una ay malabo pa ang paningin ko, pero hindi naman nag-tagal at luminaw na rin ito.
Una kong napansin ang nanlalaking mata at gulat na mukha nina Red at Gray. They are looking at me as if I'm some kind of alien with multiple heads.
Sinubukan kong magsalita para kausapin sila but my tongue felt numb and my throat felt dry, though I still manage to utter a word.
"W-Water."
"Holy shit! You're finally awake!"
"Oh my God! Gising kana! How are you?!" Sabay na sigaw ng magkapatid. I can't help but close my eyes. Because they're too loud! For Christ sake!
Agad na tumawag ng doctor si Gray while Red gave me a sip of water. While waiting for the doctor I asked Red question about Cheyne and our Baby at kung bakit wala sila dito. But Red won't answer me, she keep on avoiding my question and changing the topic.
Nakaramdam ako lungkot dahil ina-akala kong sya ang unang kong makikita sa pag-mulat ng mga mata ko but she's nowhere to be seen.
Nang dumating ang doctor ay may kasama itong nurse they check on me. My eyes and vital signs. They also schedule me for another CT scan just to make sure of everything. He also asked me a lot of question, including the reorientation of what happened. After almost thirty minutes they finally left. Leaving me with my cousin.
"Where is Cheyne? How is she? Yung baby namin?" I asked nang nakalabas na ang doctor. Natahimik at nagka-tinginan silang dalawa saka para bang nag-uusap ang mga mata nila. Until Red broke the silence.
"Ahm... She's in labor." Mahina pero tama lang na marinig ko.
"Shit! Bakit hindi nyo sinabi agad! Kanina pa ako nag tatanong! Damn it! Pupuntahan ko ang mag-ina ko!" Sigaw ko sa kanila.
I tried getting up kahit mahirap para sa akin, dahil nga tatlong linggo rin daw akong walang malay at nakahiga lang. Pero wala akong pakialam! Kailangan ko silang puntahan at makita!
"Fuck dude calm down! You just woke up di mo pa kaya!" Saway sa akin ni Gray habang pinipigilan ako.
"I can't calm down! And I don't fucking care Vicente! I going to see them! I need to see them! Kung kailangan kong gumapang papunta doon gagawin ko! I won't missed it for the world ang makitang isilang ang anak ko!" Marinig sabi ko sakanya saka bahagya syang tinulak.
Sinubukan kong tumayo para matumba lang dahil walang lakas ang mga tuhod ko. Sinuntok ko ang sahig saka sumigaw because of too much frustration and irritation. Dinaluhan naman ako ni Red.
"Lorenzo Clam down. Inutusan ko na si Gray to asked permission para makapumunta ka sa labor room. He'll get you a wheelchair saka ka namin dadalhin dun. Just take it easy okay?" Malumanay na paliwanag nya sa akin. Gumaan na naman ang pakiramdam ko dahil doon. Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa gilid ng kama.
The thought of Cheyne being in labor makes me nervous and anxious at the same time. Hindi ko mapigilang maisip ang mga hindi dapat. But I'm praying na maging maayos ang lahat at ligtas nyang maipangak ang baby namin... Maging ligtas silang pareho. But there is still a part of me which is happy and excited na malapit ko nang makita at makasama ang anak namin.
"Baka naman naipanganak na ang anak ko! Are you sure she's still in labor? If so, isn't she supposed to be screaming?" Nagatatakang tanong ko ng makalapit kami sa labor room. Sobrang tahimik kasi, wala akong marinig na ingay mula sa loob.
"How should I know, moron!" Gray said with a frown. Sya kasi ang nagtutulak ng wheelchair ko. Si Red kasi may kausap sa cellphone nya di kalayuan dito.
Kumatok sya ng tatlong beses bago binuksan ang pinto. Tinulungan naman sya ng isang nurse mula sa loob para mas malakihan ang buka ng pinto para sa akin.
Nakita ko syang nakahiga sa kama habang nasa gilid nya ang Mommy nya. Halata ang gulat sa mukha nito ng makita ako, ngunit wala syang sinabi sa halip ay nginitian ako na para bang masaya syang makita ako. Ngumiti ako ng tipid sa kanya. Ipinuwesto ako ni Gray sa kabilang gilid ng kama kung saan kaharap ko si Cheyne.
She looks troubled and her discomfort were visible even in her sleep. Bakas sa mukha nya ang sakit na iniinda. Butil-butil rin ang pawis sa noo nya. I gently wiped them away. Malalim rin ang paghinga nya. And she's clenching both of her fist. The looks of her is making me more anxious and nervous.
"Kamusta po sya?" I asked without looking at her, only focusing on Cheyne. I'm now hating myself because I can't do anything about her distress right this moment. Kung pwede lang ilipat sa akin ang lahat ng nararamdaman nya gagawin ko.
"She's fine, medyo nahihirapan lang syang mag-labor. Its been 7 hours since her waterbag broke pero ayaw pa rin lumabas ng apo ko. Maybe he is waiting for you." She said then chuckled.
Hindi ko napigilang mapangiwi sa narinig. 7 hours... 7 fucking hours nya ng iniinda ang sakit nang pagla-labor! Lalo lang akong naiisis sa sarili ko habang naiisip kong hindi ko man lang sya nasuportahan sa mga oras ma yun!
I almost wince when I saw her grimace in her sleep. I took her hand and held it. I brush her damp hair away from her face before caressing her head. Iniisip kong sa ganoong paraan kahit konti ay mabawasan ang paghihirap nya. Nag-paalam na lumabas si Gray at sununod naman si Tita kasama ang nurse... probably thinking of giving us some privacy. Inilapit ko ang kamay nya sa bibig ko and I gently kissed it.
I let out a deep breath and prayed to God that everything would be alright.
Minutes later napansin ko ang dahan-dahang mag-mulat ng mga niya. She's looking at me as if she's just seeing things. Like was not real. Then I notice her eyes starting to water. I showed her a small smile.
"Cheyne... Baby..." I said. Maging ako ay ramdam ang nang-gigilid ng sariling luha.
Kinalas nya ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay nya saka dahan-dahan itong inilapit sa mukha ko. Held on to my cheeks and gently caress them with her fingers. I closed my eyes and leaned on to her touch... to feel more of her.
"You're here... You're awake... Or am I just dreaming?" She asked almost whisper. Her tears finally fell down from her eyes.
"No baby... You're not dreaming. I'm real. I finally woke up. I'm sorry for making you worry about me. I'm sorry for making you go through this. But I'm here now. And I'll be here until you gave birth to our son. Hussed now... I'm not going to leave you anymore." I told her while wiping her tears away. At the same time a tear also fell down from my eyes.
Kahit na hindi pa gaanong malakas ang tuhod ko ay pinilit kong tumayo mula sa pagkaka-upo. I kissed her forehead, then her eyes to her nose and lastly her lips. I lean in my forehead to hers.
"I love you baby..." I told her with all my heart.
"I love you too. So much that it hurts. I was so scared. I was afraid that you won't be there when I gave birth to him. I was afraid of you not waking up." She sobbed. Parang may kumurot na naman sa puso ko dahil sa pag-iyak nya.
"Sshhh. Stop crying. I'm here now. Dito lang ako sa tabi mo." I assured her.
An hour later her contractions starts again. I heard her moaned and groaned of pain. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapangiwi rin dahil alam kong nasasaktan sya. Her hold to my hand tighten to the point that it was already painful. But I didn't care, she can hold on to me for all I care. What's important is that I'm here by her side supporting her all the way through this.
"Wait for a second baby... I'm calling a doctor." Sabi ko sa kanya. I pressed the intercom in her room to call for a doctor. And not a minute later my Mom came in with a nurse followed by Cheyne's Mom.
My Mom didn't look shock at all upon seeing me. Though she look happy and relief. I'm betting na Isa kila Red at Gray ang magsabi sa kanya ng pag-gising ko. Busy kasi sya kanina kay hindi nya ako napuntahan agad.
They check on her while on the other hand I just held Cheyne's hand. Once in a while hindi ko mapigilang mapangiwi sa tuwing halos pilipitin nya na ang kamay ko. Halos na mumuta na rin ang kamay ko sa higpit ng hawak nya but I didn't complain. Because its the least I can do for her.
Though the whole time, my only thoughts were... they should be fine. They have to be safe... both of them.
The anxiousness and nervousness are also building up. The anticipation and excitement is killing me but of course I also fear for the worst. Which I'm hopping to never happened to her and our son. To many emotion which making me panicked at the moment. But I'm doing my best keeping myself clam.
Minutes later my Mom said thay Cheyne is almost ready. So, we didn't wait for another minute. They have her transfer to the delivery room. I let Gray wheel me there. They gave me scrubs to put on before going in. For some strange reason I gain my strength and establish to walk in there by myself.
I went to her side and once again held her hand. Habang ang Isa kong kamay ay pinupunasan ang pawis sa noo nya. She look at me with a pained expression but there is a faint smile in her lips. Then I kissed her forehead one more time.
"You can do it baby. Konting tiis nalang makikita na natin sya. Everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry. I'm here. I won't be leaving you." I told her. She just nodded and gave my hand another squeezed when another contraction hit her.
"Cheyne hija, you're now fully dilated. You can push anytime, when you feel like it. But be sure when you pushed... to save your strength." I heard my Mom instruction.
"Lorenzo, caress her stomach it will help stimulate the contraction." Mom added. I did what she told.
I saw how hard and painful it is for Cheyne every time contraction hit her. But she would pushed out with all her might every now and then. I was actually waiting to hear her cussed at me or scream some profanities. But she didn't, she was so focus on pushing our baby out.
Everything happened so fast and before I knew it. I already heard it. A cry. A cry so loud that I didn't even think could bring tears to my eyes.
"Congratulations! A healthy baby boy." I heard my Mom said happily along with his cry.
Unconsciously I turned to Cheyne who is like me. Tears in her eyes, smiling happily even though she really look tired. I couldn't help myself but kissed her. Siniil ko sya ng halik. I just couldn't expressed how happy I am at the moment.
"Thank you baby... Thank you so much you just don't know how happy I am right now. I love you... and our son." I told her lovingly and kissed her once again.
"Thank you rin. Because there is no him if you didn't knock me up." She said then chuckled. Hindi ko naman napigilang matawa rin sa sinabi nya. Because she's damn right! I was so glad that I got her pregnant that night.
"Have you decided of what we'll gonna name him?" I asked her.
Ngumiti sya sa akin sa kabila ng pamumungay ng mga mata nya."Yes... I already told our Mom's kung ano ang magiging pangalan nya."
"And its gonna be?" I asked her again.
"Treize Renzo Levesque."
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07-06-2015
AN: Lumabas na si Baby! Tapos na po. Hahahaha