The sun did not materialise come morning. Instead dull thunderous clouds had rolled in to take its place. Ironically this had not served yet to make it any cooler, but rather seemed to have trapped the heat in. The rain was heavy and battered against the hospital room window casting a shadow across Arin's face as she sat awake in the visitors chair, dressed in her (or rather Zen's) own clothes anticipating the arrival of the nurse for her morning vitals check. The gown sat folded on the made bed.
Absently she gently scratched the IV site where it still resided in her hand. She had removed the rest of the monitoring equipment but did not dare attempt to pull the line out herself. The events of the previous night and her newfound clarity about her condition had given her the resolve to take matters finally into her own hands but that was maybe a step too far.
With trepidation she turned her attention to the sound of movement outside the door and bit her lip when at precisely 7 am, a blond haired woman in pink scrubs entered.
Arin sized her up as she maneuvered a rolling basket stand into the room and did a double take at the empty bed before checking the chair. "Oh." She said in surprise.
"Good Morning." Arin said, she tried for nonchalant but what came out was a wavering tone. She cleared her throat, almost convinced the woman would hear the thundering sound her heart was making in her chest from across the room.
"Good morning" the woman smiled warmly. Her surprise quickly reined in, "I'm Carol, I'm here to do your vitals and give you your meds...Is that ok?" She trailed off uncertainty colouring her tone once more.
Arin considered her and whether or not the caring demeanor was a job requirement.
Carol gave a small frown as the unscripted scene before her continued and she noted the monitoring equipment had been removed. She didn't wait for Arin to answer her question but instead continued "You took off the monitors." She noted the folded gown. "And look dressed for the day." Her tone became mildly scolding "You were just moved from observation to inpatient status. You're not scheduled to be discharged. Has your Doctor authorised this?" She asked absently picking up the chart to look at it, no one had indicated such a thing at handover.
"I doubt it. But I don't think it'll matter in a second, and I won't be needing you to check my vitals this morning or the medication."
Carol looked up and raised her eyebrows "Really?" She asked skeptically "Well it says here that you still need both and you do look a good bit flushed sweetheart." Her expression softened somewhat "Are you still feeling unwell?"
Arin hesitated a moment, trying to work out how best to deal with this woman. She had to say this calmly and with the right hint of authority so she wouldn't be dismissed. "I'm feeling fine, thank you. Much better in fact. I removed the monitoring stuff because I have been doing some thinking, and I've come to a decision." She took a breath and squared her shoulders. "I'd like to go home this morning. Immediately actually so...I'd like all treatment to stop and to leave please."
Carol blinked at her again. "You'd like to sign out against medical advice?" She clarified.
So that's what it was called. A bell rang in her head as the memory of Harrison, her grandfather's assistant, explained what having medical proxy would mean and how she could and couldn't use it if her grandfather was not available. Colour flooded her cheeks as the realisation dawned that technically she could have left any time she wanted when House was not in the room trying to stop her. She clenched her fists and swallowed trying to maintain her calm confident demeanor. "Yes, thank you."
The nurse's expression became strangely sympathetic "Are you sure about this? Leaving the hospital against medical advice is...is a big big decision." Her tone told Arin that she wasn't entirely being taken seriously. "Maybe we should wait and discuss it with your parents or your Doctor..." she trailed off as she checked the file again and came across the medical proxy sticker and then the name of the attending, she visibly blanched.
Arin felt herself frowning, ignored the parents comment but nodded firmly, fixing a steely determined expression on her face. "Yes, I am 100% positive and no I don't want to wait and talk to Doctor House. I'm ready to go home."
The Nurse seemed to consider Arin's request carefully as if she was unsure what to say exactly. "I...understand your desire to take control of your health, but I don't have the authority to let you leave."
"Then please can you get someone who does." Arin asked.
The nurse put a hand onto the basket she had rolled in as if needing to make sure it was still there, grounding herself maybe Arin wondered watching her.
"I would need to get the attending on call to discuss this with you."
With a slight sigh Arin raised her eyebrows. "Then please do."
"Yes of course... I'll be right back."
She left the room hurriedly and Arin released the breath she had been holding. Leaning back into the chair she closed her eyes and tried to take a couple of calming breaths. In, and, out. Her head throbbed in time with her heart beat.
"I'm right, I'm right, I'm right." She whispered to herself, part of her knowing and part of her needing the affirmation.
A short while later Carol was back with a slightly tired looking woman wearing scrubs and a labcoat, her ginger coloured hair tied up in a messy knot.
"Good morning, Arin" she said in the sort of noncommittal way that indicated she had literally just been told Arin's name seconds before entering."I'm Dr. Hernandez, I'm the attending on call." She picked up the chart and flicked through it only pausing for a moment, noting House's name no doubt, before she continued "Nurse Morgan informed me that you'd like to discuss signing out against medical advice."
Arin swallowed the creeping feeling of panic and willed herself not to grip the chair arms. She had to hold this together, now wasn't the time to flip out on this woman and end up whoever knows where. She slowed her breathing as much as she could, squared her shoulders and firmly but politely said "Yes, that's correct."
"And can you tell me what's made you think this is the correct course of action?"
Arin frowned despite her internal promise to remain calm. She wasn't sure how to say 'oh I diagnosed myself last night,I'm good to go now, thanks' without it sounding childish and contrived. Instead she went with the more petulant sounding "I have the right to make my own medical decisions as per my guardians instructions, despite my age. This is within my power to request."
Dr. Hernandez studied Arin for a moment, considering the situation. Her dark eyes seemed concerned yet distant as though she did not want to be drawn into some sort of drama that wasn't really her concern and was worried this would become just that. She gave a small sigh "You're only 16, Arin. Are you sure you are fully aware of the risks and responsibilities that come with making this decision?"
Arin nodded again, unwavering. Her heart beat furiously in her chest and she was thankful that she had taken off the monitoring equipment. She swallowed "Yes, I understand the risks. I've thought it through. And I'm not going to change my mind."
Dr. Hernandez sighed again, and pushed a hand to adjust the dark rimmed glasses she wore back into position. She had to acknowledge the level of Maturity that the teenager was displaying. This wasn't the typical tantrum or screaming match of demanding to go home that she had expected when she had been summoned. In a sort of detached way she said "You know Doctor House isn't going to like this...you should wait for him to come in to talk about this. It should only be a couple of hours. And it says here you are due to have a full physical exam with him anyway this morning."
Arin raised her eyebrows. She wasn't sure why it surprised her that he had put the outcome of their bet on her chart, why wouldn't he? But the threat of it looming over her caused a flare of panic. She pressed her lips thin and adopted the same no nonsense tone that she had taken in Cuddy's office with the lawyer. "I was unaware that I had to continually justify my actions once I requested the sign out. I don't want to wait any longer and I would appreciate you respecting my autonomy. Unless I need to talk directly to Doctor Cuddy..."
Hernandez frowned as if she didn't like the change of tone. She watched the girl a moment longer then gave a tired shrug. It wasn't her problem really and she had been on duty for nearly 48 hours straight.
"Alright, have it your way. I respect your autonomy. I'll make sure you receive the necessary prescriptions and instructions for your continued care outside the hospital. I'll also bring the Against Medical Advice forms for you to sign." She put the chart down. "Wait here I'll be back shortly." She made a beeline for the door.
"Thank you." Arin said the wash of relief she felt was immense and left her feeling mildly punch drunk. She clasped her hands together in her lap and took another calming breath
"Oh and just between us..." the woman's voice said, breaking into the moment's reprieve. She had paused in the doorway "...if House was my attending I'd be looking for an escape route too but you'll have to move quickly if you want to avoid him entirely. He can get petty if things don't go his way." She gave another shrug and exited taking the nurse with her.
Arin wrung her hands, feeling a sense of worry and uncertainty bubbling below the surface. What would House do if he found her gone? She hadn't really considered how he would react. And technically she was going back on her word about the exam, she had bargained and lost, was she really going to just walk away without a backwards glance? Somehow it felt petty and she wasn't sure why but something about it didn't sit right with her.
She squirmed in her seat and considered, really she was desperate to get away from this place, it was becoming oppressive again since she had worked things out even more so. And what did she owe House? Fine they had managed to strike some sort of bond to converse during her time there but really beyond that they were strangers to one another.
Should she have told them about her suspicions of the Pollen? Should she tell him? or would that simply lead to more questions and tests. It seemed unlikely they would believe her and while she was so sure, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right! she had to admit that in the light of day the entire thing seemed somewhat unlikely. Certainly it was not the most obvious of explanations. She sighed, House had been right about one thing at least...there had been something medically wrong. She felt her cheeks burn with that thought. Never, she decided then and there, would she admit that to the man himself.
Despite her unease a smile formed on her lips. If she left without saying anything to him, he wouldn't know the answer. Would that bother him or would he just decide she was stupid and discard her, out of sight out of mind. Somehow she thought the former more likely. Immediately a surge of guilt hit her. Letting loose a sound of frustration Arin brought her hands to her head and pushed them through her hair. Was she really not going to leave this hellscape now that she knew she could for the sake of upsetting House! Essentially Lucifer himself!? And if she was wrong...
I'm right, I'm right, I'm right!
At 8:30 am, when Dr. Hernandez returned with the required forms she still hadn't decided what she should do on the House front but she knew she had to leave before she became undone entirely.
"Arin?" Hernandez asked, shaking her from her reprieve. She blinked hard and focused on the Doctor.
"Sorry." She said sheepishly realising that she had finished removing the IV and was now offering her a clipboard and pen. She took it and willed her hands not to shake. As she signed her name, a mix of emotions washed over her leaving her feeling confused and exhausted.
"That's it. " Dr. Hernandez assured her. "Just remember to follow up with your regular doctor."
Arin nodded gratefully, not bothering to correct that last part. "Thank you for understanding."
Hernandez nodded. "No problem. Is there anything else I can do for you just now?"
"No I don't think so..." Arin began as she collected her meager possessions. "Actually yes... could I use a phone? I need to organise a ride home."
"Sure." The woman said, gesturing out the room, "Come use one at the desk."
Arin followed, casting a glance at the door opposite where Robyn it seemed was being roused by Carol. She would need to tell the girl where she had gone but first she needed to make another quick phone call.
The handset at the desk was well worn which made sense considering how much it must be used. She dialed the same number she had last night and waited. This time it was answered immediately and before she could so much as utter a greeting the voice on the other end was talking, frantically almost.
"I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine." She said when there was a break in the torrent. She heard herself laugh slightly, her eyes prickling at the sound of the familiar voice on the other end even if it was telling her off. "No, not Princeton General, I'm at Princetonplainsboro but I'm getting to go home." Roughly she rubbed her hand across her cheeks just in case and turned her back on the staff member at the computer nearby.
"I'm sorry I worried you. No I'm fine just a bump and some bruising." She glanced up as if sure someone would overhear and correct her loudly. "Listen I know it's early and you just got back but I just signed the discharge papers and Zen is at the thing with his dad, so...could you maybe come pick me up?" She listened again. "No, I don't think they need anything else...ok. Yeah, I'll go let Robyn know and meet you outside the main entrance? That's fine it'll probably take me a bit to talk to her and then get outside. I don't mind waiting." Her eyebrows shot upwards at the next part. Too quickly she was saying "Uhhh no, no I'll wait outside!" She collected herself and added "but maybe we bring flowers for Robyn later....I'll explain properly when I see you."
She listened. "That's fine, an hour is perfect. Yeah outside. But please.... just ...something discreet ok?" She nodded and then added as a sudden thought hit her "oh and Hector could you bring me a sweatshirt or something...I don't have a coat."
***
Pausing for a moment to watch the person strip the bed in what only minutes ago had been her room Arin frowned. Really she needed to go but... She sighed, took a deep breath and pushed open the door to Robyn's room. She wasn't looking forward to this conversation, knowing Robyn's tendency to be dramatic and sometimes difficult.
She was mildly surprised to find Robyn had not gone back to sleep after the nurse had left, it was early for a non school day for her after all. But there the raven haired girl lay on her bed with a bored expression, flipping through a magazine. As Arin entered, Robyn's eyes flicked up, her expression turning from boredom to mild interest.
"Hey, Arin," Robyn greeted, her tone tinged with a hint of curiosity. "What brings you here? Like, finally realized how boring your own room is without me around?" She stopped noticing Arin's attire and wrinkled her nose in clear disgust. "Urgh, like, what are you even wearing. Isn't that Zen's clothes again? Why aren't you still in this poly cotton nightmare?" She plucked at her own hospital gown and gave Arin an accusatory sort of look, as if she had changed clothing to purposefully annoy Robyn.
Arin managed a weak smile "Actually, that's what I'm doing here, I have something to tell you," she replied, stepping further into the room, sliding the door closed behind her. She casually checked the clock on the wall and leaning on the foot of the bed, her hands on the frame pondered how to start to explain all of...this. She rocked a little nervously on the balls of her feet considering her next words.
Robyn raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow, her interest piqued. "Oh? Do tell. Is it something scandalous? Hah." She shook her head "Did you like manage to sneak out and smuggle in a secret stash of snacks or something? Like spill already."
Arin chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Not quite. I, uh, I'm leaving."
Robyn's expression shifted, a mixture of surprise and confusion crossing her features. "Uhh sorry what?" She blurted out , her tone slightly harsh.
Arin frowned slightly, not sure how to take her friends reaction. "I'm leaving, I'm going home. Hector is coming to pick me up."
"You're Leaving? Like after all the fuss they were making about you? you're just fine now and getting to go home!?"
Arin sighed inwardly, bracing herself for Robyn's inevitable reaction. "Well not exactly..." she began but was interrupted as the other girl continued in a mild rage.
"Urgh this is so unfair! Like You get all the attention and then just leave me here? How can you do this to me? When you know they are keeping me for another day and Zen's away and I'll be all by myself because you won't be here and won't come back to visit me! GAWD!"
"Well I didn't know they were keeping you here another day." Arin said tiredly.
"Uhh Like yeah that other doctor said my U2 status weren't right yet so they, like, need to keep me till that is normal which is at least another day but that's so not the point!."
Your O2 stats Arin corrected quietly in her head. "It's a long story, Robyn. But basically, I'm leaving because I've decided not because they will let me. It is called leaving against medical advice."
Robyn's eyes widened, and her tone turned incredulous. "Wait, stop the bus! Are you serious?"
"Uhh...yeah?" Arin asked not sure how she could
Possibly be making a joke that sounded similar.
"Well then, like, can I leave too?"
"I don't think so. You're not old enough to make medical decisions yourself. Your parents need to do that."
"That's not fair!"
Unsure how to respond, Arin shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say."
Robyn took a slightly wheezy sounding breath. "So what? You're just going to bail on me like that? Is this because you don't like doctors? I mean if you didn't like them so much why make such a fuss?"
Arin held up her hands in a placating gesture. "I didn't make a fuss, House made a fuss. But that's not the point, and I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, I've thought about it a lot. And I just need to be out of here. It's... complicated."
Robyn narrowed her eyes, her skepticism evident. "Complicated? That sounds like a cop-out, Arin. Are you sure you're not just scared of the doctors poking and prodding you?"
Arin sighed, feeling a pang of guilt at Robyn's words. She knew there was truth to them, but she couldn't fully explain the complexity of her decision to someone who hadn't been in her shoes. "It's not just that, Robyn. It's... it's a lot of things."
"Sounds like you're just doing it for attention." Robyn pursed her lips and flicked her hair. " Like no offense babe but come on, you have to see how that looks from my side. I almost drowned and somehow you end up here too? I didn't get one on one time with my doctor like you did. Ugh you're so selfish!"
Arin blinked at her, the sound of her heart pounding in her chest which had become almost like a back track to her existence over the last few days stopped suddenly. Just for a split second. It caused a pang of something she couldn't place in her chest in its stead. "I'm selfish?" She asked quietly.
Robyn studied Arin for a moment, her expression almost cold. "Uhh yeah!"
Arin felt a surge of frustration rising within her. She wanted to lash out, to defend herself against Robyn's accusations, but she knew it wouldn't help. Instead, she took a deep breath, trying to maintain her composure. A deep heat surged up into her face. Her cheeks hurt slightly from the sensation.
"I understand why you feel that way, Robyn," Arin replied, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her. "But this isn't about attention or selfishness. It's about me needing to take control and make my own decisions."
Robyn scoffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, well, I need my so-called friend here with me, not ditching me because she's scared of some doctors."
Arin felt a pang of guilt and sadness wash over her at Robyn's words. Taking a step closer to Robyn's bed, she reached out a hand, wanting to comfort her despite the tension between them.
"I'm sorry, Robyn," Arin said again, softly, her voice tinged with regret. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I'm abandoning you. I just... I need to do what's right for me right now."
Robyn's eyes roved up and down the miserable looking figure before her. Pale and tired and washed out looking in the black clothes. She sighed imagining what her grandmother would say and softened her expression "But, like, why do you have to leave right now?" she asked, her voice becoming pleading. "Can't you stay just a little longer? Until they release me too?"
Arin sighed, torn between her own needs and her desire to support her friend. She knew Robyn needed her, but she also couldn't ignore the overwhelming urge to leave, not when freedom dangled like a carrot now just within reach.
"I'd stay if I could." Arin replied, her voice filled with genuine regret. "But i just can't ok. I will explain later i promise but right now that's all i have. " she shrugged.
Robyn's bottom lip trembled slightly. "Okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "But you like better come visit me when I get home and bring me the biggest bestest present imaginable."
Arin laughed slightly, her eyes prickling with the weight of the emotions she was wrestling with. She nodded "I promise, Robyn. So big your going to need a new room to keep it in."
The other girl was all smiles again. "Fine but not clothes ok! Just...no." She waved her hand at Arin as if declaring her a lost cause and made a face.
"I promise, no clothes." She made a cross over her heart.
"Jewelry is acceptable. Ooh like I saw this beautiful pair of diamond hoops at the mall. Maybe daddy will buy me them for you know..." she waved her hand again at herself and then the room this time.
"Maybe." Arin said, raising her eyebrows.
"Well if not there's a starting point for you." Robyn gave a smile and went back to her magazine.
Watching her friend for a moment Arin felt herself frowning. Something was different but she could exactly put her finger on what it was. It was almost as if, the coloured filter on a film had been removed or swapped out for another. She shook herself as if that would solve the issue.
"So where are you getting picked up?" Robyn said with a slight glance up from the glossy pages of her magazine.
Her voice seemed to startle Arin, who jumped slightly. "Oh uhh Hector is picking me up at the front entrance." She said quietly.
Robyn nodded "fair enough. You'd maybe better go then." She nodded at the clock.
Turning Arin watched the time a second and sighed, rolling her shoulders. She looked back at the other teen. "I'll call you tonight?"
"Sure." Robyn said, watching Arin back towards the door.
With a tentative smile Arin slid the door open, stepped out into the hall and was gone, the door sliding closed behind her.
Robyn was left alone in the room. She rolled her eyes and flicked the page in her magazine in a bored fashion.