𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 8: 𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖊
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Two days after the disastrous event in Wall Sina, you wake up surprisingly by the knock on your door. You look at your light-curtained window, there's no light emerging from outside.
It must be still dawn. You get up from your bed hardly, first because you're still very sleepy and tired, secondly because you're still in pain of your fractured leg and sprained waist.
You drag yourself to reach the doorknob. You open the door slowly, indicating you're being careful.
"May I come in, y/n?" You are now seeing your visitor.
You become fully awake in a blink of an eye. "Ah... Heichou, sure." You let him in with a gesture, and feeling kind of embarrass of your sleepy face. Why's he here this early...?
Knowing your injuries, he says, "You can just sit, y/n."
You obey, and sit on the edge of your bed, nervous of the unusual circumstances.
He's leaning to your closed door, facing the window looking at nothing instead of facing you. "Have you got any better, y/n?"
It's only been two days, and you're not feeling too different from the moment you got the injuries.
But you don't want to worry about the corporal, and also as a soldier it'll be too shameful to state your actual condition.
"Yes, Heichou. I hope I can begin my training in two days."
He knows you're lying. He never heard that fractured leg could be recovered in just a few days. "You're not Eren,
y/n. Even though your will is not a bad thing."
You actually agree with him, and it makes you disappointed in yourself. "Heichou... maybe I'm not cut out to be in your squad..."
Levi turns to look at you. His face appears to be a little agitated by your statement. "Tch. y/n, you've survived many expeditions and unscathed. You're not that weak."
You sigh, unable to look him back. "Yeah, but these never-ending injuries..." you contemplate, leaving your sentence unfinished.
The dark-haired man folds his arms. "... They were assigned to protect Eren, y/n. They succeeded their duty with their lives. It was just a coincidence that you had to stay in headquarters on the account of your injury back then."
You're holding your tears up, while grabbing your bed sheet tightly. Deep down you hope he is unaware of your emotion that bursts out silently.
He continues in his monotone voice, "It's not easy for me to say this, but, I am grateful that you've stayed alive because you had gotten that injury."
Those words... are the words you couldn't even say. You know it for a fact, too, but it's also mortifying. Just to think about it makes you shudder.
You somehow don't feel the pain within your leg or waist, your heart hurts the most at the moment.
You were also defeated by the Female Titan; you only laid a lame scratch on her. I couldn't even call that a vengeance...
"I'm sorry, Heichou... I got carried away. And it's been really hard for me to think clearly. I didn't realize it, but, I think I did lose my spirit, my faith... But I know I'm not the only one. And now... I need to keep moving forward for the sake of others, too," you swear to him and yourself, while trying to gather the fragments of your courage.
"Good," he replies.
"Uh... Heichou..."
"What is it?"
You finally have the slight of courage to look at his face. "Your leg... hasn't recovered, right? I mean, anyone could notice. So, when you sliced the nape of Eren's Titan, I was really concerned."
"Huh?" he furrows his eyebrows, making a face he usually does when disagreeing to something.
"Uuuh... I apologize. It's not my place to say something like that." You avoid looking at his face once again, afraid that he might be irritated.
"Shouldn't you worry more about yourself? Look at those wounds, y/n. They got me worried. I told you before; I won't forgive even one injury."
Oh, right. I was the one who didn't fight alongside my friends because I had let myself become useless... and about to repeat the same mistake.
Or, have I already? And didn't a minute ago I just say I want to move forward? "Yeah... these wounds might restrain me from following Commander's next arrangement."
"Tch. That's not what I meant. I'm just glad that you're still here."
Discouraged by your feelings of inadequacy, you say with sour voice obliviously, "Well, for now..."
Levi walks to you. "What did you just say?"
It now comes to you, that Heichou despises his comrades' deaths with all his heart. "I... uh... I mean..." you stutter as you feel he's staring at you.
Something feels like swelling inside your stomach when you realize; that when it comes to your corporal, you just spoke the unspeakable.
He stops in front of you, bends over his body to place both of his hands on your shoulders. Yours and his face only 10 inches away from each other now.
The silence is now taunting you, causing you to gulp, thinking that he might scream at your face.
"Look at me, y/n." His deep voice is heard, demanding yet not intimidating.
You look at him. You've never seen his face this close before. You see the man you adore looking rather hurt than furious.
Your eyes widen due to the unexpected expression you caught on his face.
"I hate to repeat this, (Name)..." He stops to exhale, you could smell the aroma of the certain tea you once had made for him. "I am glad, that you're... still... here."
You now realize what he meant. You heart beats at torturing speed.
"Why... thank you, Heichou," you say with hesitation, the only words you could manage to be let out from your mouth.
His lips are sealed, not saying another word. He pulls his hands from your shoulders as he rises up. He then turns to your door to leave your room.
As he walks, you call him. "Levi Heichou," you say with more guts than before.
The spirit you have lost is now coming back for certain, because this time, you've found a vivid purpose that successfully conquered your self-doubt.
He stops, tilts his head, and looks at you over his shoulder.
"You're stronger than me. In fact, there's no denying that you're the strongest. But... as you concern about my survival, I, too, will always concern about yours. I know it might be unnecessary for you, but you can't help how I feel."
He stands still, and you go on, "We both are risking our lives for the better future. To keep hopes alive within these walls... for our freedoms. We, all soldiers, will never forget that. Such noble and brave role... But never had I imagined how throwing my own life feels easier... than to bear losing people that matter to me."
You can see his eyes widen by your audacious words.
"Therefore, allow me to serve my best in your squad, doing my best to stay alive, killing or capturing the titans, or whatever you and Commander need me to do, and protecting you as well, whether you need it or not. Because, you're important to me."
He closes his eyes for a second-not expressing the admiration he feels to the firm and sturdy words you've just spoken. Without facing you, he says, "What a shitty request. Very well, y/n."
He then leaves your room, and what you don't know is, he can't help to smile sincerely, knowing someone he cares about also cares about him a lot.
He wishes to have you with him always. Though he knows there's only a small probability that the war will end, but when
it does and if both you are still alive, it's nice to think that he'll end up with you together.
But of course, there are more important things to achieve now besides thinking about that sweet kind of future, so he's just going to leave the wishful thought there, and back to his main duty.
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okay so i know it wasnt that enough of a interaction with levi , he didn't hug us-
(༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)