I leaned against the wall within the Bridge and listened. All employees had been dismissed. If the war was upon us, just days away, did we need them? Not anymore. Our newest androids were all set; their training would be with Reggie. He just needed to be okay for it to happen.
As day turned into night, Victoria gave Reggie his thorough checkup—he was fine with a lot of scrapes and bruises. According to her, the torture was enough to make him furious, but I knew, just as I felt for myself, love went a long way. With her by his side, Reggie would make it. It wouldn't be today or tomorrow, but over time, the grief and pain would become tolerable. It wouldn't fade. Nothing fades.
"Elijah said Daniel gave us a date." Ezekiel stepped closer to Victoria and Reggie. He had washed the blood off of his skin and changed his clothes. Casually dressed in a white shirt and joggers, he used a towel to dry his hair. He smiled weakly as he looked at them; I saw that clearly from where I stood.
Beside the elevator doors felt safe for me. Being next to an exit, an escape, always made me comfortable. Growing up, my home never felt like a prison, and with Victoria by my side, I knew if I needed to run, I would be okay. Right now in Lyons' prison house, all I had was my family and this exit. What was outside terrified me.
"We'll get him." Using Victoria as support, Reggie stood from his chair. "We'll end this war."
"Do you think it's that easy?" Ezekiel dropped his towel to his side. "I came from his neck of the woods. I know what he's capable of."
"And now you're on our side and know what we're capable of." Reggie straightened. "We will win."
Reggie made me smile, but I couldn't look at him anymore. The cuts on the side of his face made me angry. Sad. Furious. I felt like I failed him. I was a criminal, a murderer; a woman's life ended in my hands. How could he stay on my side if I was becoming the android we were up against?
"We will," Victoria said. The tone in her voice made me look up again. She nodded as she stood in front of Reggie, cupping his face in her hands. She brushed his cheeks with her thumbs. "We will beat him and live freely together."
Reggie looked at her. With a weak smile, he touched her cheek. "Forever," he said.
Forever. I chuckled under my breath as Ezekiel grumbled, muttering, "Fucking love birds, the world is ending and this is all they do," under his breath.
Let them be in love. I looked up as the elevator dinged at my right. I bit my bottom lip as the doors opened. Frank's tired but optimistic and determined face came into view. Weakly he smiled. In the end, love wins, right?
"Well, we have until noon on Saturday." Ezekiel's voice carried over to us. "We have some days to prepare, but I believe we can do it."
I sidestepped and leaned against the wall, facing the elevator. Frank did the same and pressed his shoulder against the door, keeping it open. I looked into his eyes and flecks of brown color circled the iris. I stared long enough until he flushed, tongued his cheek, looking away with a smirk. Chuckling, I touched his chin and made him look at me again.
"We can," Reggie responded to Ezekiel. "I only need rest. We can regroup tomorrow."
"Look, you two know I'll do whatever you need me to—"
"And we appreciate it," Victoria's strong voice joined the conversation. "Give him a day and tomorrow we train the androids."
"That's a plan." I glanced at the talking trio just as Ezekiel scratched his head. "If any other models need to be turned on, I know Elijah can do it," he said.
"I can," I whispered, knowing they couldn't hear me, but Frank did.
He leaned his head against the door as his eyes searched my face. "Don't you think you should tell them that?"
"Do I need to?" I bit my bottom lip. "They know I can, but today, at this point, I can't talk to anyone."
"You're talking to me, though." Frank reached out and touched my arm.
"Yeah, but you're not just anyone." I slid my hand until I found Frank's and linked our fingers together. As Victoria and Reggie talked about calling it a night, and Ezekiel agreed, I put my bottom lip between my teeth. "My place might be crowded tonight, how about we go back to yours?"
Frank glanced into the Bridge. "You might miss important plan details or—"
I touched Frank's face and leaned in for a kiss, whispering against his lips, "Please."
***
Frank's apartment was always organized. The same size as mine, the single bedroom sat at the far end. He had a door, but he kept it open at all times—he said it was out of safety but I knew, even without him admitting it, it was a long-standing habit of being afraid of the dark as a child. I didn't mind it. The few times I snuck into his place at night, the open door came in my favor.
As Frank locked the door behind us, I passed my hand over the bookshelf filled with all sorts of literature. He had the classics from the year 2020, and books even older. Most were hardcover and were pleasing to touch. Smell, too. There was something about old paper.
"Before I went to the Bridge, I stopped at Katherine's," Frank said as he walked past me, rounding the island in the kitchen to reach the stove. There was a kettle on top of the left burner. He started the fire.
I looked up and glanced at his window with shut curtains. It felt like I could hear the riots, more quiet at night. "What for?" I muttered.
"Just an update, let her know our status and the upcoming attack. She wanted to—"
I slowly looked at him. "Did you tell her about the woman I killed? How, with her most valued and advanced computer chip, I became the violent cyborg everyone thinks I am?"
He frowned. "Elijah."
"You know," with my tongue in my cheek, I chuckled, "it doesn't matter what she knows. Everyone will know that I have blood on my hands soon enough."
"It doesn't matter," Frank said quietly as he turned off the stove and removed the kettle. It hadn't warmed enough yet. Was he quitting the idea of tea?
"No, it doesn't matter." I walked over to his burnt orange sectional and dropped on top of it. With a huff, I leaned back and forced a pillow under my head. "Nothing does. My past, your past, Lyons past, this world—"
"Hey, hey." Frank quickly approached. He sat near my feet and stroked my leg. "Breathe.."
I glanced at him as I put my hand on my forehead. "How can I?" I mumbled. "It feels like everything we've done to get to this point mattered, but did it? There's been so much violence, every misunderstanding or miscalculation. I made every mistake and took too long to act and—"
"Okay, hey, you're upset, emotional, and have every right to be, I won't take that from you." Frank moved both of his hands up my leg until he crawled above me. His chest gently pressed against mine. He inhaled as I sighed. "But I need you to breathe."
"Tell me I'm wrong." I looked into his eyes as he stroked my cheek. "Tell me I did everything right."
He paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I won't lie to you."
I scoffed and covered my face.
He pulled one of my hands away, so I looked at him again. "But I'll tell you everyone made the wrong decisions. There wasn't an obvious right answer. Events crumbled at our feet and all we could do was step through the debris."
I chewed on the insides of my cheeks. Focusing on his ceiling fan, I wished it was on. It could be my distraction.
"We all learned to trust each other," Frank said softly. "The androids believe in you. Victoria and Reggie rely on you." He pressed one of his legs between mine. Pulling my gaze away from the light, I found the glow in his. He balanced on one elbow and ran his fingers through my short curls. "I need you."
I sucked in a slow breath. What he said could be taken multiple ways. I would give him every single one if he asked.
He traced the side of my face. "When I first met you, I thought you were an inconsiderate asshole—"
I laughed. "I thought you were a brainless brat."
"—But, working with you, being with you, I learned to see you for who you are; the strength we all need. Shit, even Daniel wants you on his side. But you're here with us." He brushed his nose over mine. "You're leading us. It's been a long road, but you've opened our eyes and we can see the end of this."
Weakly, I smiled. He wasn't lying and I needed this honesty. It wouldn't change what happened and what I did. This weekend could be worse for all I knew. Yet, right now, I needed kindness and sweet words. I needed Frank's love and how he saw me.
"Do you feel better?" Frank whispered.
Did I? This was an emotional bandage. Being with Frank helped me forget. I looked into his eyes and my pain, my guilt, faded and became a faint pounding in the back of my head.
"Sort of," I said.
His brow shot up as he smirked. "Just 'sort of'?" One of his hands lifted the corner of my shirt. His fingers traced my scars, gently rubbing over the healed ridges. I sucked in a breath as we locked eyes.
"Yeah." With him so close, I breathed against his lips. I bent one of my legs and trapped him. He couldn't roll off of me but the look in his eyes told me he wouldn't want to. Perfect, because I needed him to stay. How often could we have moments like this?
"If the world goes to Hell this weekend," I whispered, tugging at the bottom of his shirt until he moved and allowed me to lift it over his head. He shuddered for a moment, adjusting to the apartment's temperature. I sighed and passed my hand over his bare chest, over his heart. "I want you to know the past few months, as awful as they've been, had bright days because of you."
"It won't go to Hell, Elijah." Frank leaned his head forward and pressed his lips against my neck. He suckled for a moment before peppering kisses down my collarbone. I groaned and covered my face with one hand. Shifting, I gave him more room as his lips continued their path. "It will be Hell," he breathed, his hand moving down to my pants, "but we won't stay in it."
Sharply, I inhaled as he undid the button on my jeans. His fingers were warm against my skin, trailing my pant line. We locked eyes as I focused on the small sensations that helped me forget. And when his hand slid further, I popped up on my elbows and hissed. "Fuck...."
I cupped one of my hands behind his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. Frank moaned against my lips, trembling down to his fingertips. As I poked my tongue for entrance, he obliged, sat up, and pulled me with him so as not to break our kiss. I managed to take off my shirt.
"Should we go to the room?" Frank whispered, rubbing my hands over my chest and up to my neck.
"Later," I breathed and pulled him close again. I held him, pressing our foreheads together; we trembled in unison as the apartment lights dimmed on their own. I smirked as if it set the mood. "Right now, this is perfect." I traced his cheek and kissed him softly. "Let's just forget."
He came in closer, positioning his legs so he straddled me. Like this, he brushed through my hair and held my gaze; I saw all of his love flicker in his eyes. Biting my lip, I grabbed one of his belt loops and pulled him close. He gasped and moaned softly. "Let's forget and remember that in the end, all is forgiven," he whispered.
With Frank, tonight I could forget. Even for a moment, I wouldn't think of what I'd done. Ad he said, in the end, all would be forgiven, right? I gave up my humanity to save theirs. It wasn't a fair trade but because of it, I found the light I knew I needed. I found it in him.
I pushed my fingers into his hair, holding his head in place as I moved in for a kiss. "I love you," I breathed against his lips.