Tsukasa never really liked school. He only liked the attention he received. He only liked the way people showered him with compliments and praise, the way people crowded around him and practically competed to get his attention. How wonderful it was to be popular!
Yet, after Wonderlands x Showtime was created, he felt that something was off.
At school, the morning after the troupe was made, he realized that he didn't enjoy being with his large number of friends anymore.
He wasn't overflowing with happiness or pride. He wasn't smiling all the time.
"Yo, Tenma!" One of Tsukasa's friends, Akane, called.
Akane was followed by three other people, Ai, Tadashi and Hikari. He called them his "crew".
"Tsukasa!" Toya ran over to the one he was calling out to along with his friend Shinonome.
"Hey, Tsukasa-kun!!" Ai said, hopping up and down, making their hair make adorable bounces as Ai's feet hit the ground and pushed back away from it.
"Hey!" Tsukasa said with a forced smile and enthusiastic tone, a feeling of overwhelming unease and uncomfortableness taking over.
"Yo. What's up?" Tadashi mumbled, his focus mostly on whatever was on his phone screen.
Then, a unique shade of purple caught his eye just as the people started to concentrate around him.
Tsukasa's stomach filled itself with butterflies before they all dropped dead as his guts gave a horrible wrench instead as he saw the light pink next to the purple.
It was Rui, who was leaning onto a wall. Was that Akiyama he was talking to?
Rui seemed happy. He was smiling. With Akiyama, not Tsukasa.
He felt his chest tighten.
"Tsukasa, are you alright?" Toya asked, snapping Tsukasa out of his thoughts.
"Yeah," Tsukasa nodded. "I'm just feeling a little off today. Dunno."
"Ah." Toya said.
"You've been staring at Kamishiro for a while." Tadashi said without taking his eyes off his phone.
"...I have?"
"Do ya like him?" Shinonome deadpanned.
"Akito!" Toya hissed.
The question hit Tsukasa like a truck.
His eyes widened, his heart dropped and he remained unblinking for a few moments, looking straight at the ground as he thought to himself.
No, I can't like Rui... Not him, of all people...!
But then he recalled how happy he felt around the alchemist, and the way his stomach filled with butterflies even just at the sound of his voice or the mention of even his name...
"...Shit." Tsukasa muttered.
"Dude..." Shinonome sighed. "How'd that even happen...?"
"Akito, stop that." Toya sighed.
"I don't like Rui," Tsukasa insisted. "I guess I just... Wanna be with him..."
Shinonome gave Tsukasa a look that said 'yeah, right...' after hearing the blonde's words.
Akane looked positively disgusted, while Ai had sparkles in their eyes and Tadashi was still staring at his phone indifferently.
"Your cheeks're red, Tenma." Shinonome said before turning and leaving, perhaps he was a little bit afraid of the lecture Toya might give him.
"Akito!" Toya groaned, chasing after the ginger.
Then Tsukasa realized that Akane was gone. Which could not mean anything good, if he was listening to Tsukasa's and Shinonome's conversation.
Agh, no...! That would completely destroy my reputation!
Tsukasa covered his face with his hands and pressed his palms into his eyes. This was too embarrassing! Now, all his friends believed he liked Rui--which he did NOT!
After a few more moments, it was time to head to first period.
He couldn't concentrate in class at all. He was caught between two possible choices; being with Rui and the others and being happy but having his reputation completely demolished, or... continuing to live his life the way he already was, as the popular guy. He didn't ever say that he was happy this way.
Tsukasa didn't really like the way he lived now. Sure, he spent tons of time with Toya and Akane and the others, but lately, he had been dragging Ai, Tadashi and Hikari to talk to them in private, away from Toya and Shinonome and Tsukasa. That made him uneasy.
And Tsukasa wasn't comfortable at home either. He hadn't been ever since the incident. He and his mother had been so incredibly distant ever since then.
Tsukasa was so deep in thought that he didn't realize that he groaned out loud. Softly, but still audible.
"Tenma, are you okay?" His science teacher asked. "Do you need to go to the office?"
"N-No, Sensei," Tsukasa said, his cheeks flaming.
"Then pay attention and stop disrupting the class. You are in high school, not elementary school."
Tsukasa felt the humiliation burning him up, unable to gulp down the lump in his throat as he nodded.
Ack, at least say it in a way that doesn't demolish my hard-earned reputation!
The next two classes painstakingly dragged on, one class slipping into another in a way that Tsukasa couldn't quite describe in a way other than "gooey".
The time finally came for recess. Tsukasa forcefully crammed his things back into his locker.
Normally, Tsukasa would have felt a large wave of relief come crashing down onto him at the subdued thudding of his school things landing on top of the metal shelves of the locker. The freshness he usually felt would have made him feel more... clear. Refreshed his train of thought. But this time was different. Why?
Because he was scared. Scared of what Akane would say about him.
Tsukasa had known Akane since elementary school. Akane was the type of guy to spread any iota of information he heard about anyone--true or not. If Akane heard something interesting, that small bit of information would be spread across the school the next day.
Realization bashed into Tsukasa like a bull to a red flag.
That's what happened to Rui, isn't it...
Tsukasa's stomach knotted itself up and, before he knew it, his desire to be with the purple-haired boy took over and he found himself sprinting over to where Rui usually was--the rooftop.
He heard some startled shrieks and yells from students as he pushed past them through the clamouring crowds. As he whisked and wound around the students, some small exclamations could be heard at the accidental bump in the arm or the occasional trip over someone else's foot. Said sounds would be followed by a loud apology from the blonde.
The door came to sight, and Tsukasa put on a sudden burst of speed, throwing himself into the door--which, not-so-strangely, didn't budge a centimeter.
It was a pull door.
...Oops.
Tsukasa backed away from the door, rubbing his arm as the embarrassment crushing him like a hundred-pound weight.
"H-Haha, uh... Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush..." Tsukasa said sheepishly, turning so that he was facing the students staring and giggling at him.
"...For what?" One of them asked. "It's recess..."
I can't just tell them I'm going to see Rui, can I...?
Tsukasa didn't reply for a few moments. "...Things."
He then proceeded to turn back around and carefully pull--not push--the door open before walking through it to the roof.
Finally seeing the strange (yet attractive) alchemist scratching a pencil against the rough surface of a paper in his sketchpad, Tsukasa shouted out his name and people stared at him and murmured about it.
Agh! Not again!
"Rui!"
The swarm of butterflies, which had been resting for quite some time, awoke and fluttered and batted around furiously in Tsukasa's stomach as his eyes met Rui's.
"Tsukasa-kun?" Rui said softly, his voice filled with a mix of excitement and happiness.
As the butterflies stirred and went even more wild, Tsukasa realized that, maybe, he did like Rui.
He started to smile.
...Who cares what other people think as long as you're happy with people you actually care about?
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Word count: 1305😋