white ferrari - frank ocean
❛bad luck to talk on these rides
mind on the road, your dilated eyes
watch the clouds float
white ferrari.❜
( PRESENT. )
THE goodbye was hard, jane refusing to let go of luke for a solid five minutes. they hugged, luke rocking her back and forth as she promised to see him at christmas. jack had rubbed the girls cheek at the airport, grabbing her bags for her and setting them on the side walk. she smiled and made a joke, causing him to laugh. her hands snaked around his waist, gently rubbing his back.
jack didn't want to let go, clutching her sweatshirt roughly. it was his, jane didn't bother asking if she could keep it. she complained about not having any devils merch so jack took it upon himself to send her home with some, luke even snuck one in her bag. she would have no idea until she opened the suitcase at home.
"christmas." she whispered and jack only relaxed slightly. this was hard for him, maybe because years ago they never said goodbye. it wasn't supposed to happen, they had no idea. now the goodbyes were harder, scarier.
jack didn't say a word, only held on to every inch of her he could.
"jacky." she mumbled, jack trying not to frown. he was torn up about this and jane knew it.
"two weeks is easy right?" she tried to sound convincing, lighthearted. they both knew it wasn't going to be. it took another minute and jack still had a tight grip on her. jane rubbed under his eyes, ran her hands through his hair before leaning up and kissing his cheek.
it wasn't a goodbye to jane so she squeezed his arm and said a 'see you soon.' jack gave her the smallest, sad smile and felt her leave his grip. 'soon.' he waved back and she took her things. he watched her walk into the airport and then he was staring at his feet.
janes flight was rough, a screaming baby on board and so much turbulence you'd think she'd be used to that by now. her connecting flight was delayed three hours so when she arrived she ended up falling asleep, almost missing it. she had to sprint through the airport, being the last one to board. more turbulence and a shaky landing in chicago.
it took an hour and a half to get her bags and then she couldn't find her car.
it was almost like the universe was mourning her and jacks departure with them. the sadness in her heart made her drive home in silence.
finally home, she had no energy to unpack her bags. she flopped on her bed, texting olivia for a check in. she also sent jack a text to assure him she was safely home. he didn't have a great day either, getting stuck in traffic for two hours on his way to prudential. he only caught the last bit of the team meeting, staying late to review the film they watched. on his way home we wanted to stop and get food, his two favorite places were closed.
he gave up, driving home in silence. when he was finally home and in the kitchen he was out of chicken. he went to grab a drink, the last one in the very back and when he went to maneuver out he banged his head on the freezer door he left open. "goddamnit." he mumbled, shutting the fridge roughly. luke could tell he was distraught as he stalked back to his room, slamming the door.
he went ahead and ordered them both food.
jane had laid around for thirty minutes, getting up to shower. she tried to be productive, she couldn't let herself fall into the sadness. she had to survive two weeks.
it made her feel better, she would admit. she changed and frowned when she couldn't put on jacks sweatshirt. now she was clawing at anything to be close to him. she sat on her knees, unzipping her suitcase. she stopped short, seeing the stack of sweatshirts, shirts, long sleeves and a perfect note sitting on the very top.
jack.
she smiled, taking the note and setting it aside. her hands felt the warm fabric of the shirts, smiling for what felt like the first time today. it was all devils merch, she found that out quickly. it smelled like him, like home to her as she instantly put one on. one of them was significantly bigger, jane looking at the tag with furrowed brows.
the number on the sleeve read 43.
her smile only grew. she eyed the note on the floor, unsure weather she wanted to read it. it was odd, wanting to cry because she missed someone so much. they knew it would be hard but right now it felt impossible. her hands found the note, leaning back and feeling her bed.
two breathes and she opened it, seeing the familiar hand writing that hasn't changed.
i wanted you to have some devils merch to rep while you were gone. all mine of course, hand picked just for you. luke threw one of his in there but you have my permission to toss it. i'm thinking of you, even while you're away and i already can't wait to see you.
we got this. two weeks.
your jacky
it was a smile, a frown maybe both. it was like she could feel his love pour through this simple note. she pulled her knees up, letting her chin rest on them. she missed him, setting down the note and turned to reach for her phone. instead of feeling needy, too much in her head she opened spotify, pulling up the playlist jack made for them. they hadn't added a song yet, knowing that this was important to them. regardless of it just being a playlist, it meant something.
she smiled as she added the song, knowing jack would be receiving it instantly.
his phone buzzed and he too eagerly picked it up. a smile came to his lips, 'janekoda added a new song.' was all he read before he opened the app. then he let out a laugh, shaking his head as his door opened. luke had two bags of food in his hands.
"god you're so whipped, i bought food come on whiney." luke gestured, leaving jack to smile alone. jane clearly received his note, his clothes. the image of her wearing it right then and there sent a spiral up his throat. this song was also one they used to sing together in the car, regardless if it was him driving, her driving, one of their parents. it has always been a favorite, transporting them to another moment in time.
he pressed play, a 'beautiful day by U2' coming through his phone.
he shut his eyes, thinking of the time they were on their way to the lake. the car was packed full of snacks, clothes, towels. jane was grumpy, tired and didn't want to be in the car anymore. she was in the middle, resting her head on quinn who was messing with something jack didn't care about at the moment. jack tried to give her some snacks but she passed, messing with her fingernails.
suddenly jim turned up the radio, knowing it would cheer her up. the windows were rolled down then, jane growing goosebumps on her small arms. they were only eleven then, practically baby's.
jack went ahead and grabbed his sweatshirt, simply holding it to jane who instantly put it on. it grew slightly colder as they neared the water. jack would never forget the way her face lit up as 'beautiful day' came on. the way her eyebrows shot up, instantly turning towards jack. he smiled, the two singing as jim smiled at their voices.
jack smiled to himself, opening his eyes. the room was empty, dark but somehow jane still lingered. he stood up, walking to the bathroom, something catching his eyes from his bed. a gold bracelet sat on his counter, he picked it up, the scent of jane's soap was lingering on the walls. she was everywhere always and she didn't even know it. weather it be her vanilla body wash, her gold bracelet, she was with him in so many ways.
jack made sure to set the bracket on his side of the bed.
"foods getting cold stop fantasizing about your girlfriend!" luke yelled through the apartment, jack rolling his eyes. two weeks, he would survive. the bracelet gave him the assurance that he needed in that moment. the simple small things mattered to them both, they both knew it and didn't care if anyone understood them. it's what they needed, it's how they will get through this together.
everything matters.