How are we at chapter 50 ?! I love you guys :)
Chapter 50
Monday November 14th
Lennons POV
I woke up with my arms being crushed underneath the weight of my 4 year olds body and the sound of my alarm clock repeating for the 3rd time. I snoozed it the last two times it went off as I really wanted those extra moments of sleep, but now I regrettably have to rush to get all 4 of us ready.
I did the quick process of getting myself ready for work, and then moving onto waking Theo up from his slumber. He groaned in his sleep, as he almost always does, and I scooped him up in my arms and rocked him back and forth. "We have to wake up baby"
"I'm tired" Theo mumbled, leaning his head on my shoulder.
"Me too" I agreed with him. The weekends go by so fast, and it isn't long before I'm dropping my babies off for hours.
"And hungry"
"I'm afraid we only have time for cereal" I brushed his hair with my fingers and kissed his forehead, gently nudging him awake and off of me so he was now standing in front of me.
"Okay" He yawned, and headed out of our room and to his room to grab his clothes for the day that we pulled out last night. While Theo changed himself, I got the twins up and changed before heading ourselves out to the living room.
After I gave Theo his bowl of cereal and the twins their breakfast, I scarfed down a granola bar and a protein shake, confused when my phone lit up on the counter with a message. With a confused look at who is texting me so early in the morning, I grabbed the phone and I was not expecting who it was.
From Anne:
Hey darling. Sorry we haven't talked recently, and I haven't reached out since Harry came back. He's been keeping me updated, but I wanted to give you both time to reconcile before I messaged. I hope you and the kids are doing great of course, and maybe now I can make a trip out there to see Theo since Harry is back J I'm just a little worried because he hasn't messaged me in a couple days, and that's unlike him. I'm assuming he's been busy with you guys, but I have that motherly instinct something is up. Thought I would reach out. Love you sweet girl
I read her message and sighed. It's not that I don't love Anne, I do, but now I feel like I'm in a really complicated spot.
Clearly, Harry hasn't mentioned anything about his relapse to her and apparently has just left her in the dark by not responding to anything since it happened. So now, I either have to lie and tell her everything is great, or I have to tell her the truth. I honestly don't think it's my place to share hard details about his addiction, even more so when he hasn't told her anything himself.
On the other hand, I also know how it feels to be a mom and be worried about your babies, and I would want to know if my children were in the hospital and almost died or something along those lines. I frustratingly pulled at the roots of my hair and stared down at her message in agony.
Looking at the time, I needed to answer her and get out the door, otherwise I'll risk being late. I picked up my phone and started typing out a message that I felt kept Harry's "secret" secret, but also let her know she's not wrong to think something is going on.
To Anne:
That's okay, I haven't been the best at it either J Hope everything is good for you as well, and I'll send you some pictures of Theo later when I'm off work. I think you should keep trying to get answers from Harry...
After hitting send, I lugged the kids out to the car and got them all buckled for our drive to daycare. Theo talked my ear off about crabs for some reason until we pulled in, and I listened intently until it was time to hand them over to Lucas.
I was waiting for Lucas to come back from dropping the kids off at their specific classrooms, as he told me he had some hand out for me that I needed to get. It didn't take long until he returned with a red paper clasped in his hands and stood next to me to show me.
"So it's a bit early, but we like to give it out ahead of time and then send reminders so everyone is aware. It's your first year here with us, so each year the kids go ahead and put on a little Christmas show for the parents. It's not anything major, but it's cute and the kids seem to enjoy it. This is just a save a date, and costumes will be determined by age and sent out in the coming weeks" Lucas explained and handed me the paper.
"Oh how fun" I chuckled, loving the idea, but I knew Theo would be the kid up there crying and not singing any of the songs. Regardless, I am very much looking forward to the little performance.
"Yeah it's great"
"I'm sure, alright have a good day" I smiled, making my way to the door but his voice speaking up again stopped me.
"Hey, so I don't really know how to say this, but would you be open to getting a cup of coffee or dinner sometime?"
Awkwardly, I froze. That was the last question I expected to be asked at 6:30 on a Monday morning, especially from the person who is asking me. I really didn't know how I felt about it. Lucas is a nice guy and all, but if I'm being honest I don't know him that well and I don't think I'm ready to open myself up to dating just yet. It hasn't even been a year.
"Oh" I bit my lip, frantically trying to think of something to say to save him from the embarrassment, but he was standing there waiting for my answer with an anticipated look on his face. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm ready to date again just yet"
His shoulders slumped, but he recovered quickly and assured me it was fine. "Of course, I totally understand, I'm sorry"
"It's fine... have a good day?" I awkwardly smiled, and got out of the daycare as fast I could, slightly grateful Lyanna is picking them up today and I won't have to face him again until tomorrow morning. I felt bad rejecting him, and maybe I didn't do it right but it's not like I've had that much experience with guys. Harry was my first boyfriend, and then Hudson made the first move on me, so it's been limited and I haven't ever rejected anyone before.
I drove to the hospital, and I was grateful when I saw Samantha working today. I think we're becoming good friends, which is sort of strange for me because I can't remember the last time I had a friend that I didn't meet through one of my boyfriends. However, I was happy about it.
We caught up and made small talk while we got ready before our shift, and then we unfortunately had to split up to take care of different patients. Mine was Mrs. Henderson and like always I had mixed feelings of seeing her name on my Ipad. On one hand, I'm happy to see her and talk but of course that means she thinks something is wrong with her and I obviously don't want that to be the case.
"Hi darling" She greeted me, a smile on her face as I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder in greeting.
"Hi, what's going on?" I questioned, ready to take notes.
"Well I came by yesterday, but that one nurse didn't take me too serious, I came in because I sort of fell over the weekend and hurt my wrist. I think it's broken, but he didn't even mind it" She explained, and I was disheartened to hear that someone blew off her concerns. I understand the hospital is busy and she is one of our frequent patients, but it's our job to take care of our patients.
"I'm sorry" I frowned, and walked over so I could check out her wrist. "Did they look at it? Is it lots of pain?"
She moved her arm so it was now extended towards me, and I was in shock at how poorly they took care of her yesterday. Her wrist was extremely bruised and swollen, and at first glance I was positive that she had fractured her wrist, and I want an x-ray.
"Lots of pain, the young kid didn't even care" Mrs. Henderson sighed. "Wouldn't even take a look"
"I'm so sorry, I'll bring that up to somebody. I'll order an x-ray, as your wrist does look fractured, but just to confirm so we can help fix you up" I told her, and the lack of care towards the elderly in hospital settings made me frustrated and also upset.
"I knew if I came back while you were here that you'd take good care of me" She smiled, sincerely.
"Of course" I smiled back and used the Ipad to order an x-ray, and then also noticed that all other patients were currently being taken care of so I had a few moments to spare.
"How is everything with that boy?" She asked, and I knew she would.
"Complicated" I sighed. "It was working, I felt confident that things had changed from back then. But...something happened and I just feel like an idiot for thinking that things would be different"
"Oh no" She shook her head in sadness. "Well first off you aren't an idiot. Do you think this can be fixed?"
"I told him I was done" I answered.
"How do you feel about that?"
"I'm fine with it, or I think I do. Theo hasn't seemed to care about him not being around yet, so maybe my mind will change if he does? But I also want to protect him, so maybe not. Just second guessing again"
"You'll figure it out darling, I'm assuming it's been a difficult transition on all 3 of you, so if you think it's forgiveable, then give some more grace. If you don't, at least you can say you tried and live with no regrets of wondering what could have been"
I nodded my head, agreeing with her every word. "You're right. Thank you"
"You're like the daughter I never had" She smiled at me, and I melted inside at how much of a compliment that was. She only ever had sons, and we've spoken about how even though she loves them, she wanted a chance at that mother daughter bond.
In a way, I'm wishing for the same thing.
"That means a lot" I patted her back. "I have to head back to work, but someone will be in shortly to transport you to x-ray and then I'll be back"
"Thank you Lennon"
"No problem" I said bye and then I left the room.
I shut her door behind me and made my way back down the hallway, only to freeze and want to run back the other way when I saw who was standing at the end of the hall.
However, I was too late to make the getaway, and his eyes had locked with mine before I knew it. Instantly, he left whatever conversation he was having with Jeff to speed walk in my direction, and I didn't want to speak to him right now. Or probably ever again.
I turned around and started to head back the way I came from, but I heard his footsteps speed up behind me and my name being called out in his voice. "Lennon, wait, please!"
Against my better judgement I froze in the place I was standing, and turned around to face him. I came face to face with green eyes and a piece of gauzed taped to his forehead, and I'm assuming he had matching dressings wrapped around his stomach as well. He looked tired but I didn't know if it was from what happened, lack of sleep, or both.
"What?"
"I'm sorry" was all that he said, it seemed to be all he could muster to get out from the regret written all over his face.
I stayed silent, I didn't know what to say to him.
"I understand why you're mad, I do. But...at least let me see Theo one last time, please? That's all I need and then I'll truly go away if that's what you want" Harry pleaded, and it felt like I was reliving the last time we had a conversation here. The day I finally gave into Harry's persistent begging when he faked an injury and begged me on his knees for a place in Theo's life.
"I wanted to believe that you changed"
"I did Lennon"
"I just can't believe this happened"
"I know- i-I don't know.."
"What if my father was right?"
His face dropped, and I wanted to take the words and put them back into my mouth. "I've worked so hard, I swear to you"
"I have to get back to work Harry..."
"I'm sorry..."
"I know"
Heartbroken, he turned around and walked away. Confused, I did the same.
I got home late from work, the emergency room got slammed in the evening and made everything fall behind, and someone didn't show up for night shift so I was forced to stick around until a replacement volunteered themselves.
I felt awful for making Lyanna stay later than she was supposed to so I threw her a little bit more money than I owed her and thanked her profusely. Theo was still awake since he was having a hard time falling asleep without me, so Lyanna left quickly so that I could get him to bed. I joined Theo in our bed and cuddled my arms around him, and I was able to see that he was tired, he just couldn't fall asleep until he was with me.
I told him some bedtime story that I made up as I went along and the farther along I got, the more tired he was getting. His eyes were droopy and he was cuddled up in my arms, so I thought he was practically asleep, but he wasn't because he asked me a question. One that I wasn't expecting.
"When's Harry coming back?"
Oh?
I didn't answer, I was processing the fact that Theo actually asked me that question. However, he shifted next to me so he could look up at my face as he was awaiting an answer.
"I'm not sure buddy" I sighed, now feeling even more conflicted.
"Oh, okay"
"Why do you ask?" I asked him, just trying to see what answer he gives me. I know that Theo was starting to grow to like Harry, but I didn't think he would care enough to ask where he is after a few days.
"I had fun when he babysitted us"
"I'm so happy you had fun, so you enjoy him coming over now?" I clarified.
Theo nodded his head. "I think so. He let me eat cookies for lunch"
"I'm sure he did" I chuckled softly, and kissed the top of his head.
Theo didn't respond to that, just moved around again until he got comfortable. After our short conversation about Harry, it didn't take him long to fall asleep and leave me with more confusion inside my head.
I didn't think Theo would care that Harry hasn't been around for a couple days, and that makes this whole thing 10x more complicated for me to handle.