Pousser (verb) to grow
The castle had transported me to...a greenhouse.
It was exactly like the picture Bastien had drawn for me back in the tent when he was trying to describe his castle to me.
Bright sunlight, blooming flowers, and fragrant herbs enveloped me in a kind of happiness I hadn't experienced since working in the garden back home. But it wasn't a stalk of rosemary that had drawn me through the ballroom door so quickly.
It was him.
Shirtless.
Working only in a pair of dark trousers and boots. His blonde hair had been gathered at the nape of his neck, and messy strands fell around his face as he worked.
Bastien was a painfully beautiful creature, that much was true, but there was something different about him out here among the plants. He seemed more alive. More free.
When he stabbed the earth with a spade, his muscles flexing, I accidentally let the door slam shut behind me, drawing his attention.
Our eyes locked.
My breath stilled.
It was him and I, alone again. Seeing him in this greenhouse reawakened the darker part of my femininity.
I had so much I wanted to say. So much to yell at him about. But, I found I couldn't speak. Not with him looking at me like a rare gem he'd found while digging in the soil.
"I thought you were with your harem," he said, breaking the silence.
I let his words bounce around in my head for a moment as I tried to ignore the fact that he was shirtless.
So, he'd known exactly where I was and who I was with, yet hadn't come to barge in on us.
I wasn't sure if this knowledge made me more or less angry with him. I was stuck between wanting to rage at him for leaving me alone last night and this morning while he did Diana knows what, and wishing to appear like I didn't give a fig if he came to see me.
I made the snap decision to go with haughty indifference because I wasn't very skilled at arguing unless, apparently, I'd drank too much liquor.
"I was," I replied, clasping my hands together and glancing around the greenhouse.
I could feel the warmth of his attention even when my back was turned. It made me hot beneath my dress, and sweat prickled on my skin.
I tried to focus on the plants in order to keep my sensibility. The greenhouse shelves filled with potted herbs and flowers, which lined the glass walls. Small, well-manicured trees bearing citrus fruits grew in the corner, the leaves teeming with ripe lemons, limes, and oranges.
Alec was right. Despite the frigid temperatures, there wasn't any ice on the windows, but a healthy layer of condensation obscured the view from passersby. That was, if anyone dared to trudge through knee-deep snow.
I turned back to the vampire, who had begun adding fresh soil to a recently cleared garden bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked, still trying to sound casual.
"Presently?" he said. A smirk tipping up his lips. "I'm clearing out space in these beds so you can plant what you like."
My mouth hung open for a full second before I had the wherewithal to close it. I was shocked that he was taking the time to do something so labor intensive...for me.
If he had the time in his busy schedule to do this, why didn't he return to my bedchamber after everything he'd said and done last night?
To release some of the tension building inside me, I giggled as I wandered toward a citrus tree and pulled a blood orange from the closest branch. Bringing the fruit to my nose, I inhaled the deliciously sweet aroma.
"I could tend to these plants," I said. "You don't need to go to the trouble of clearing space for me."
I dug my nail into the peel of the fruit, and cherry red juice welled up. I focused on the orange so as not to focus on the vampire who was striding toward me.
"The best part of gardening is planting and watching the seeds sprout from beneath the dirt." His voice was tender and low, and it caused all the fine hairs on the back of my neck to rise. "That's what you told me."
My attention shifted back to him. I hadn't expected him to remember such a fleeting comment.
Bastien bent to dip his hands into a bucket of clean water and then wiped them off on a towel, scrubbing the dirt from each of his fingers, but his eyes remained fixed on me. "This greenhouse is yours to do whatever you like with."
"The whole greenhouse?"
He nodded. "Unless you prefer another."
It was an absolutely massive space. Narrower than the ballroom, but perhaps just as long.
He took the orange from my hand, then removed the dagger strapped to his side. Carefully, he peeled the fruit, handing me a slice perfectly cleaned of the bitter rind.
"No, this one is fine," I said breathily, meeting his gaze. Slowly, I took the piece of fruit he offered me. Juice ran down my fingers as I lifted it to my mouth. "Where will these plants go?" I asked, slipping the slice between my lips and savoring the deliciously tart flavor.
He watched me as I ate, and didn't speak again until I'd swallowed.
"I'm sending them down to Roselyn."
As he spoke, I watched Bastien cut another slice from the orange. Juice leaked from the fruit onto his hand, and a strange, sudden desire rose in my core. My body very much aware of what else his hands could do.
"We've finished building a new greenhouse that could use more plants."
He offered me another piece, and I swallowed hard, trying not to see this act as anything more than him being controlling and bossy.
"That is very thoughtful of you."
When I didn't take the orange, he lifted it to my mouth.
Instinctively, I opened my mouth and my lips closed around the tip of his finger before he slowly pulled it away, and I savored the taste as it slid over my tongue.
His lips parted as he watched me.
It was delectable. Sweet and tart. The perfect balance of what a fruit should be. And for a brief moment, as I stared at Bastien, and he stared back at me, I almost forgot why I was upset with him.
I was drawn to him in a way I couldn't explain, but I felt in the deepest recesses of my soul.
"Caring for my people is my responsibility," Bastien said. His voice a whisper. But that whisper was enough to jolt me out of my haze.
Of course. Everything he did was out of duty.
The smile that had begun to form on my face faltered, and Bastien caught my change in mood.
"Does this place make you happy?" he asked, an earnestness in his tone.
What a ridiculous question. Who wouldn't love to have an entire greenhouse? It was the most wonderful present I'd ever received. A place of my own to grow what I wanted.
But, still, I knew he hadn't given me this greenhouse because he cared about me. As his sanguine partner, he was duty bound to provide me with a satisfactory life.
"Do you care if I'm happy or not?"
The question went against my strategy to seem like I didn't care whether he paid attention to me or not, but I couldn't keep it behind my teeth. It was born of the hurt his absence and lack of explaination left behind. I'd cried actual tears because of him.
Some strange, dark part of me wanted him to care about me. Wanted someone to care about me.
Drawing closer, Bastien set down the orange and stowed his blade before taking my hand in his. His skin was slick with juice and rough with callouses from working in the garden.
I couldn't look away when he fixed his pale blue eyes on me.
"I care," he said haltingly, like each word cost him something, "more than I can properly articulate. Unfortunately, I am not very good at making people happy. I'm much better at keeping them safe."
I wanted to accuse him of lying, but I knew he wasn't.
His gaze dipped to my chest, causing heat to prickle in places that were covered by the elaborate gown I was wearing, then dragged slowly back up.
"You look stunning, by the way," he said. The low tenor of his voice rolled over my exposed skin as he added, "Black suits you."
I didn't want to be entranced by him. But I was. I tried to hold on to the hurt his absence had caused.
Swallowing hard, I ignored his compliment, shrugging and looking away from his penetrating gaze. But his hand guided my attention back to him. Cupping my jaw, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.
A rush of sensations and emotions rolled through me as our bodies connected.
My heart beat faster, each pulse seeming to say, mine. Mine.
I raised up on my toes and wrapped my free hand around his neck as his slow, chaste kiss deepened. His cold lips parted mine, and his tongue slid into my mouth. Our tongues tangling together.
Bastien was sweeter and more decadent than anything I'd ever tasted.
I yearned to feel him this closer, but I wasn't going to get swept away. Not like I did last night when he'd gotten so close just to leave me alone.
I broke off the kiss, releasing my hand from his neck. Swiping a thumb over my lips to remove the taste of him. Both of us were left staring at each other, chests heaving with labored breaths in the quiet of the greenhouse.
A kiss and some plants didn't fix things between us. Especially if they were only given out of duty.
"In twelve days, we depart for the Lawless Lands. During that time, the greenhouse will be readied for you. We can bring in furniture. Tables for tea or chairs for reading. Whatever you like."
I nodded as I processed this information.
Twelve days before we left the safety of the chateau and returned to the frigid road, but this time, traversing into the Lawless Lands, where I knew he'd be looking to collect another demonic relic.
I had to remember my purpose here. And it wasn't to plant pretty flowers.
"Thank you," I said, trying to cover up the war raging inside me.
His hand was back on my cheek, holding me so tenderly, like he thought one touch might break me.
"I have a request I'd like you to agree to." I raised my brows, wondering what this vampire might ask of me. "I must teach you to use a blade."
A blade?
Grabbing his wrist, I moved his hand off my cheek. And as I did, the world spun around me. Dizziness pressed into the corners of my vision as a hundred memories I didn't like to think about rushed back.
Every attempt my family had made to make use of me. Killing chickens. Skinning rabbits. Deboning meat. Helping in the birthing bed. All requiring the use of a blade, and all would leave me covered in blood.
So much blood.
I didn't understand why I couldn't tolerate either blood or blade, but there was some part of me that reacted viscerally to the thought of either.
Bastien gripped my upper arms to steady me. "Claire, tell me what's wrong! All of a sudden, you're as pale as a sheet."
"M-my phobia," I said, trying to explain, but the room was spinning so fast that I could hardly breathe.
Sweat broke out over my forehead, and I knew what was coming.
Blackness squeezed out my vision, and the last I saw before I swooned was the pale blue of his eyes as he lifted me into his arms.
When I awoke, my head was in Bastien's lap, and I was looking up at him. Concern was etched into the lines of his face.
He stroked my cheek. "Are you alright?"
Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I was alright. Physically, I was fine. But emotionally, I was a wreck. Maybe it was the clarity that came from passing out, but I was done pretending to be indifferent about his absence.
"Why didn't you come to see me?"
He tilted his head, a question in his eyes.
I closed my eyes hard, trying to force the words out. "Last night. You left a lot unsaid, and I expected you to return. Why didn't you come back?"
Bastien expelled a long breath, and as he did, he removed the ties on my fur stole, carefully peeling away the material and revealing the bloodstone.
He took the small gem between his fingers, regarding it for a moment before his eyes found mine.
"I am not a man of many words, and I've lived a solitary life for a long time, so I don't often need to explain myself. But, I'll try." He squinted, like the next thing he wanted to say was distasteful or painful. "I know I cannot keep you, and I know you don't want to stay with me forever, so that makes this...difficult."
He paused, and I realized I wasn't breathing.
"It is unlawful to take your mate as your sanguine partner, and when I realized who you were and why I was so drawn to you, I offered to let Marius kill me rather than admit I was mated and be forced to remain at the capital, or break the law by marking you as my vassal."
I couldn't help but wonder how much fate had led me to him. A girl, who was never allowed outside the confines of her family home, sent out on a mission to become his sanguine partner, with a magickal choker around her neck, spellbinding her to the task.
It all seemed impossible, and I wondered how much Mama had known. Did parents know their children were the fated mates of vampires? Was it the real reason I'd never had magick? But, if that were true, why would she send me to him? It made little sense.
Nothing about this made any sense.
Bastien traced the choker I was wearing as if he could sense my thoughts.
"I'm worried about our trip to the Lawless Lands," he admitted, his voice soft and low. "If you can't defend yourself, I won't be able to focus."
Now it was my turn to look confused. He didn't honestly care about me. I was just an obligation to fulfill. A duty. The mate and the sanguine partner he didn't choose.
He wanted me to hate him.
"Claire," Bastien said, my name so sweet on his lips, "you are the object of my every thought, every desire, everything."
That pained look was back on his face, and I couldn't hide my shock. I was his...everything?
No, that couldn't be possible. I wasn't anyone's anything.
I was Claire. Magickless. Useless. Good for nothing but dangling in front of a vampire prince like bait. I mean, I just swooned when he mentioned learning to use a certain stabby object. Who desires a woman like that?
"I wasn't over-exaggerating when I told you that I'd kill a room full of people in cold blood if I believed they'd hurt you or wronged you. And it will be that way for the rest of my life. So, if you cannot defend yourself when we leave the relative safety of this castle, I fear I will be too distracted to do my job."
My inclination was to disbelieve him, because how could I be his everything, but I could feel the hurt and the anger and the powerful need to protect me at all costs, emanating off him in waves.
And...there was something else there, too. Another emotion. Something I'd never felt before. A strong emotion that made me feel warm and tingly and...safe.
I was feeling all these things from him, and we didn't even have our bond open. We were speaking plainly. What did that mean? I wasn't sure what to say or do, but I knew I couldn't keep lying in his lap.
I forced myself into a seated position, kneeling beside him so we were at eye level. As soon as I was no longer touching him, the bloodstone around my neck seemed to tug me closer. Like it wanted to be with its mate.
"Last night, I learned of a disturbing attack. One that has plagued me for half a day. And to be honest, it's the reason why I didn't come back to you last night. I've been trying to figure out how to handle this situation."
The knot of tension that had been sitting in my chest released. And even though I knew I was supposed to be working against Bastien, I couldn't help but want to know what had kept him away from me.
"You can talk to me," I told him. This time, I cupped his cheek, holding him. "Tell me what happened."
He grabbed my wrist and turned his face into my palm, kissing it. A thrill raced up my arm at the feel of his lips.
"I know you don't care for dark witches, but a coven under my protection was attacked," he said, his words falling against my skin. "It was completely unprovoked, and now one of their own is dead."
Dead.
The word hung in the air. Once, I would've had a sense of pride at hearing this news, but now, all I could feel was a sense of loss.
"I need to pay my respects at the funeral tonight, but I can't bring myself to leave you alone."
He was choosing me and my safety over carrying out the responsibilities of his role as prince.
It was hard to believe someone would choose me over their responsibilities, especially when that person was a vampire. A creature who I'd been taught was ruthless.
I wanted to tell him to go without me, I would be fine alone, but the part of me that was still my mother's daughter and beholden to the spell cast on my choker bid me to give another answer. One that would place me in a position to find the location of another demonic relic.
"I'll come with you."
He shook his head. "I was wrong to force dark witches on you. I won't do it again."
I took his face between my palms and offered him the only truth that I could. "Bastien, I know I'm safe with you."
If you made it all the way to the end of this chapter, give yourself a high five 🖐️ because this is the longest chapter yet.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wanted this chapter to feel like a healing moment between them. Definitely two steps forward in their love story instead of the five steps back they usually get.
I hope you enjoyed it.