~Ashby~
1 2 3 fall..."What does that mean?" I murmured to the boy that's sitting next me. As I wiped my teary eyes, sniffling with my legs pulled to my chest. "It's something I made up when I get too overwhelmed by chaos. I figured that if I can't outrun it, then I can tame it. Use what little control I have to find comfort within my own darkness, and own it. It helps me to stay anchored without falling in too deep; and letting the chaos consume me up inside, leaving me helpless. I may not be able to control what's happening around me but I can control how I respond to it."
I think back to when my first friend I ever made 10 years ago told me his secret of how he learned to survive chaos. Those 4 little words have given me strength that kept me from drowning back into that sea of red. That has become my never ending torment. Whenever I start to get overwhelmed and feel my throat closing up. I say that mantra over and over again to keep myself grounded. Not giving into my fear, but controlling it.
So now as I stare into the eyes of some that screams chaos. I stand my ground tilting my chin up, not cowering under those punishing green eyes. They no longer hold that curious glint searching for something unknown within me. They harden now darkening with the intent to burn and destroy.
The only sound that can be heard is my rapid breathing and heartbeat. I won't lie and say that I am not terrified -because I am. Only a fool would think that they can go against someone like Everestt, and win. But still, I won't allow him the satisfaction of seeing me scared. Thinking that I am some helpless girl. 1 2 3 fall.
In the dimly lit bathroom that casts a shadow on his face. I can see he's cleaned up after the fight but has a few small cuts on his face. Especially one on his right cheek from when Jacob Riley decked him there, all because he got distracted by me. His left hand is by the side of my head caging me between him and the wall. His right one that looks red with no bandages on it covers mouth.
"Tonight was a mistake, and it's all your fucking fault." Everestt growls out with a dark edge to his voice making my blood run cold. This is about more than him losing a fight. It runs way deeper and is something else entirely. But I don't have the time to think about what that is.
I need to somehow leave-
"You weren't supposed to come back. Why did you come back?" Everestt confesses with anger that's rooted in a deep torment. Come back...? He has to have me confused with somebody else. I never met him before. I don't know him, and he for sure doesn't know me. What is his problem? Why is he doing this to me?
Struggling in his hold and pushing on his chest. My stupid foot gets caught in the tear on my dress. Making me trip, losing my balance going forward. Everestt catches me by my waist holding me up from falling down. He looks down at the small hole that's caught on the front end of my combat boot. Standing on one leg I try moving my trapped foot out. Hopefully I can knee him in the process, but nothing works. What is this fabric made out of?!
"Having trouble there? Or is this a part of a very unusual fashion statement you're making?" Everestt quips, amused by my misfortune right now. "Yes. The trouble I'm having is that I can't knee you in your dick, asshole." I sign but realize he can't understand me. Maybe if I type it out on my phone- Fuck! Where's my phone? It's not in my pockets. Shit I lost it.
"I can easily help you, but you'll have to prove something to me after." Prove what? You know what - I'll play along because after this I'm getting Noah to take me home, and planning on never seeing Everestt again. "Deal?" Everestt lifts a brow, and pauses waiting for my answer. "Deal." I finger spell out, not caring that he can't understand me. He's smart enough to figure it out. "I'll take that as a yes then."
Everestt slowly lets go of my waist making sure I got my balance. I have to lean back on the wall standing on one leg. He lowers himself to the ground and with no warning quickly rips the part of the dress my foot is caught in. But he doesn't stop at the small tear. He rips the rest half of my dress that is completely fine. Coming around to the back evening it all out. Making it end at midthigh where his hoodie- that I'm still wearing- stops at. Letting the fabric fall, his hand grazes my thigh. The contact startled me and my whole body shivers. Please tell me he didn't notice that.
I let my foot fall and get balance back. With him on the floor, I quickly maneuver my body to slip past him reaching for the door handle. But he stands back up grabbing both of my wrist pushing them into my chest, locking them in his hand. He cages me once again, pressing his body into mine. Keeping my arms secured between us not able to move them in his possessive hold. I wiggle against him, needing him to let me go. I can't be trapped like this where I can't speak. Not again. I need to speak. Why won't he let me speak?! I didn't do anything wrong.
He grabs a fist full of my hair tilting my head up, making me arch my back to look into his lethal eyes. Earlier I was drawn to them and a part of me still is. But right now I want nothing more than to look away. I hold back tears refusing to cry. My body is shaking with fear, burning from his tight grip. My back hurts from landing hard on it twice tonight. I'm not weak. I'm not weak. Everestt squeezes my wrist in his hand and digs his fingers in the back of my scalp. I wince but bite lip to not make a sound, when toxic copper fills my mouth. Refusing to give him the reaction I know he wants. With me trembling in his hold with tears streaming down my face as a desperate plea to let me go.
My eyes don't falter from his ruthless gaze, giving him the same stare he's projecting back onto me. The corner of his lip curves into a sadistic smirk. "You're a brave little thing with a fire inside you. I don't know whether or not I want to watch it grow into something more. Or snuff it out entirely before it even has the chance." He clicks his tongue debating the thought. "Decisions decisions."
Everestt eyes move down to where my scar lies. His hand from the back of my neck moves to the front. Everestt fingers follow along the white line of raised skin gently grazing it. As though if he touches it hard enough I'll be hurt by it all over again. His rough touch from earlier now turns tender. I never let anyone touch my scar- aside from the doctors. This is all too... intimate. I rather have his rough calloused hands branding my skin than him touching me with this twisted form of affection.
"I was wrong about you." His eyes soften with a realism. "I was wrong..." Everestt murmurs with disappointment. His eyes flash back to the haunted look I saw earlier when he first came up to me. Almost like he had hope for the first time. But now he realizes it was never there to begin with.
"Hey Ashby are you in here? I wanted to see if you're okay. I can take you home if you like?" Aria's voice fills the room, being my saving grace. I pull my hands from Everestt and oddly enough he reluctantly steps aside letting me go. I quickly exit the bathroom running past Aria. I'll just apologize to her later outside.
I need fresh clean air. I need to breathe again.
I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I'm starting to hyperventilate, gasping for breath that won't come. My gray nails scratch my throat, probably drawing blood. But I need it to open up and let air in. My body uncontrollably shakes as I frantically look around for the exit. My head pounds echoing my heartbeat like the shots of a gun going off. Dark crimson floods my eyes, suffocating me. I grip at my hair needing it to stop. 1 2 3 fall. 1 2 3 fall. 1 2 3 fall.
Why isn't it working?! An icy chill numbs my body making me light headed feeling the world start to fade away. Something touches my arm alerting me awake of that danger. I can't go back there. I ball my fist turning around and swing feeling my fist collide with something hard. Setting the nerves off in my hand.
"Holy fucking shit girl! She's a firecracker. Can we keep her?" A male voice exclaims. What? I start to slowly come back. I open my eyes, blinking a few times adjusting to see that I'm not back in the dark crimson. I'm surrounded by concrete walls, different bodies of people together, and strobe lights. The pounding in my head stops but instead is filled with pop music. I'm back in the underground fight.
I touch my neck relieved I can breathe again. Looking down I see my knuckle is smeared with fresh blood. Blood that's not mine. I look up and meet those punishing green eyes again. Everestt wipes blood dripping down the side of his mouth. Fuck. I'm screwed. He's probably going to yell at me for assaulting him. It was an accident -I swear- I just reacted.
Everestt does something that makes me freeze, sealing my fate. He sadistically grins chuckling, with blood smeared on his teeth. With eyes holding a promise of something dark. "Game on baby. Game on." I look around and everybody, including random people, stare at me like I just commited the most grievous sin. They all hold different mixtures of emotions in their eyes. Some are of fear, pity, and even envy. I now realized I just made a mistake I can't take back.
**********************************
I end up getting a ride back to my house by the same people as before. Noah keeps checking to make sure that I'm okay. I tell him that I'm fine. But I'm having a mini crisis in my head. Aria is the one driving and telling Riven to leave me be. Riven has been boasting about how he wishes and I quote. 'Had the balls- well more like ovaries- for how you decked Everestt in the mouth. Even when Jacob Riley landed a few good hard punches tonight. They didn't do the same amount of damage you did. She's my forever little firecracker now.'
I didn't mean to hit him. I would never intentionally hit someone like that. That was my first time ever punching somebody. I was so wounded up in my own chaos that I just reacted. I stare at my fist seeing it turn red feeling it throb in pain. Realizing now I'll have to deal with the consequences of recklessly hitting Everestt.
We eventually arrived at my house, which is 40 minutes outside of the city, in a small suburban neighborhood. It's a small white two story house with a small patio and walkway. The lawn is well kept with a few small trees outside. There's a small garden that my mom and I started. But with her gone all the time the flowers are slowly whittling away. I should pay better attention to them.
Hunter's black car sits in the driveway and looking through the bay window I see the living room light on. My shoulders slump and I dread having to go inside, but I drag myself out of the car. I tell Noah, Aria, even Riven thanks for the ride and that I'm sorry for tonight. Noah and Aria reassure me I have nothing to apologize for. They're more concerned with if I'm okay or not. Riven said that I made his night and can't wait to see me at school. I would give them my phone number, but I know it's probably face down cracked in the road. So I told them my instagram to contact me.
With that I watch them drive off into the night going back to their thrilling lives. I start to walk towards my house with my hands itching to rub my throat but I stop myself. I twist the doorknob and thankfully it's unlocked. I step inside looking around at the cozy homey space. In front of me are a set of stairs. To the left of me is the kitchen and dining room. To the right is a spacious living room with a fireplace. I shift my attention to see Hunter standing in front of the fireplace with furrowed brows texting furiously on his phone.
I shut the front door making myself known and Hunter turns his attention towards me. His eyes are hard, clearly upset with how I left him earlier. He's about to yell but stops himself when he sees me. The bottom half of my dress is torn. I'm wearing another person's hoodie, with a hurt hand. He rushes towards me looking me over for possibly more injuries. Probably coming to his own conclusion of what could have happened to me. "I'm okay. Really." I tell him putting on my best smile to cover up how rattled I actually am feeling.
Hunter, my brother who is 24, has dark brown hair and chestnut brown colored eyes. His skin is tanned with sharp model-like features. He has some dark stubble along his jawline. He stands at 6'4 with a muscular build that all the girls fawn over. Especially because he served in the military. He did 2 tours, even got a Purple Heart for saving 5 people during an attack. His leg got injured and was in the hospital and physical therapy for months. But that was a year ago, and he's doing better now.
"Do you know how worried I was? Why are your clothes torn? Did someone hurt you? More importantly, whose car did you get into? Not a friend's car because you don't have any. So why the fuck did you just up and leave the way you did?" Hunter aggravatedly says while signing to me in a rushed manner.
"I'm sorry, nothing happened to me. I got overwhelmed, and left how I did because you-" I stop myself from finishing that sentence. "So I made you jump out of a two story window is what you're saying." Hunter interjects and I want to say, yes because jumping from a window is a lot safer than being near you when you're mad. But I don't.
"No. You're right, I shouldn't have done that. It was irrational of me. I got overwhelmed, and couldn't breathe anymore. So I had to leave. I'm really sorry." I wait for his response, feeling the world tilt on its axis not knowing which way this'll turn out. Hunter stares at me knowing I'm not telling the whole truth. But drops it after my apology. He gives me a hug and I freeze not wanting to be touched after everything tonight. But I gave him one despite it.
"Because I'm new and part of the mayor's security team. As a guest tomorrow he invited me to attend his wife's annual gala for her tech company. I don't trust you enough to be alone right now so you're coming with me."
I'm about to protest but the words die in my hands as he gives me a look that's not up for debate. I have no other choice, but to go. He'll just drag me there anyways. I agree and start to head up stairs for bed needing a shower. But Hunter stops me.
"You never answered my question about whose car you got into. What happened to your hand? And why you're wearing a guy's hoodie." I thought he'd let that go but he's a dog with a bone when his eyes darken and crosses his arms over his chest.
"My dress was torn from when I fell down the tree. And I landed on my hand to stop the impact. Noah gave me his hoodie- and Aria-, a girl was there too. They saw I was hurt and asked if I was okay. They both go to my school, and we ended up driving around the city talking."
I can't tell him about the underground fight, especially Everestt because I'll never be allowed outside again. He'll tell me just how recklessly careless I am. This is the most irresponsible thing I've ever done in my whole 17 years. I don't relish in chaos. I prefer to play it safe. Hunter believes what I told him because I'm not one to lie. Hunter lets me leave and I go upstairs to my room.
I enter and crash on my periwinkle bed staring out my bay window. My room is cozy and calm with light colors, mainly of blue, white, purple fill the space. A white hammock chair sits next to my bookshelf full of dark romances, comics, and photography books. Vintage cameras that I collected over the years line the middle shelf. Different pictures I've taken on my film camera fill my walls. As well as some on my white desk in the corner of my room. With little nicknacks of things I've kept. My Lana Del Rey, The Amazing Spider Man, and Cigarettes After Sex posters hang next to my bed.
Outside in the distance I see a burning light glow. What is that? I get up from my bed and walk towards my window to see a dark figure leaning up against a motorcycle. He stares at me but I can't make out the person's face. Only see the line of their mouth from the small glow the cigarette casts. My feet are planted in place not able to move but my mind is yelling at me to close my currents. But I'm stuck here staring at this faceless ghost. He puts out his cigarette, getting back on the bike and rides off. What just happened?
*****************************************
I stand in front of a huge mansion where different people dressed in elegant clothes enter. I'm wearing a long silk periwinkle dress that has a small slit on the left side. My back is completely exposed. My blonde hair is up in a low bun with a braid securing it in the back. A few baby hairs line my face. My face has some eyeliner that brings out my green eyes. I applied some highlight, blush and wore a pink lip. My white heels click on the floor as I listen to the sound instead of all the numerous people.
"Are you okay?" Hunter, who wears a pressed suit asks me with concern. I just smile nodding my head to not worry him. I've never been good at parties, especially fancy events like this. I prefer to be in small settings. But if I can't handle this then there's no way I'll be able to go to the private school on Monday.
Tonight is a gala for Annika Collins who runs the biggest software tech company in all of the US. She's worked for all kinds of corporations such as Google, Apple, NASA and even the FBI. After Hunter's incident in the military he still wanted to do some protection work. His friend recommended him to the mayor of Lakeaway Heights and is now head of his security. He starts his job Monday and got invited tonight to meet people here. I'm anxiously hoping I can go find a quiet corner to sit in. Drink a sprite while listening to Lana Del Rey, and read a book.
We enter a huge ballroom where classical music plays. The walls are decorated beautifully of gold and reds like royalty. A huge crystal chandelier hangs above. Small tables are placed everywhere with few people resting at. The staff wears black tie and white gloves carrying around trays of finger food offering it to people. Hunter sees the mayor, Jace Collins talking with his wife and 2 other people. We make our way over there, and my soul leaves my body.
With Everestt in better lighting I can see him more clearly than last night. His face is still sinfully beautiful. You can't help but look at him. He stands there in a black suit and white shirt with no tie. His hair is styled and not messy like last night. His tattoos are all covered up under the suit jacket. But it does nothing to hide his bulging muscles. I look at his face and see a big bruise forming on the side of his mouth from where I hit him. I rub my knuckles remembering the pain all too well.
We stand in front of the mayor, Jace Collins who wears a suit that is dark blue with a maroon tie. His skin is maghony shade with black curly hair having some gray streaks. His brown eyes are striking, making him look like royalty. His wife Annika, her skin is a caramel shade. Her brown curly hair stops at her shoulders. She wears a long blue dress that matches her husband's suit. Her eyes are a lovely hazel that stand out because of her black smokey eye makeup.
Next to Everestt is a man that shows what Everestt will look like once he's older. He wears a black suit with gold cufflinks. His hair is darker than Everestt and gelled back. Some wrinkles are on his face showing his age. But he still looks like a Greek god. His eyes are not green but are an intense smokey black. You can feel the power he dominates. It's not something you take, but what you're born with. Which is a trait Everestt clearly took after.
"Hunter, I was just telling my wife and long time friend Roman Jaxxon, just how glad I am to have you work for me." The mayor says with gratitude. "The pleasure is all mine sir. Thank you for this opportunity." Hunter replies back.
They start to make conversation but I can't focus feeling Everestt's heated gaze burning holes into my head. I'm going to throw up. He won't do anything. There are at least 60 people here tonight. "Ashby?" What? I look up to Hunter and see everyone staring at me. "I was introducing you to Mr. Jaxxon's eldest son, Everestt."
Everestt has his hand held out for me to shake. I do not want him to touch me and react to it again. I can still feel his rough hands on my body, and how it turned gentle. I shake his hand feeling the heat run up my arm setting my nerves ablaze. "Nice to meet you, Ashby is it?" Everestt says all too kindly like he is some sort of gentleman. When he doesn't know the meaning of the word. I pull my hand away and a small smirk grazes his lips. His eyes turn back to that burning void.
"Can you ask where the bathroom is please?" Hunter asks Annika who tells me it's up the stairs down the hall to the left. I thank her and like I'm on fire quickly get out of there. I reach the bathroom and rest my hands on the sink.
Why are the last 20 hours a battle in hell for me? Breathe in and out. In and out. 1 2 3 fall.
I can hide out here for the rest of the night. I can't ruin this night for Hunter. I turn on the faucet to splash water on my face. Suddenly a hand grabs my throat pulling me back against a hard chest. A fire burns where his hand is waking up my nerves hyperfocusing on the warmth it creates. By his touch alone I don't even need to look up to know it's Everestt.
"We have got to stop meeting like this." His grip on my throat is not hard enough to choke me but firm enough to know that he's in control of what happens next. I struggle against him grunting in frustration that I got myself in this situation again. Lesson one: always have your guard up whenever Everestt is around.
I try to pry his hand off me by digging my nails into his skin, leaving moon marks. This doesn't seem to affect him, he just smiles in the mirror seeing me fail. He leans down and his lips skim my earlobe, as his hot breath sends a shiver down my spine.
"I would stop that if I were you. Unless you want to take care of this." Everestt pushes his hips into my ass and I feel something hard poke me. My eyes widen and I freeze. There's no way. He's... he's... hard right now. I look in the mirror and he stares at me the same way he did after I hit him. Eyes holding a dark promise that he intends to keep.
"You know I was going to get over the fact that you punched me. Which to be fair I did deserve, even I'll admit that. But then you just had to go and ignore me like we've never met just now. That hurt my feelings." "Oh you have feelings? I didn't think psychopaths like you understood the concept?"
He smiles wide at my signing intrigued by what I said. He rolls his hips into me, and I jump at the action. At this angle pressed against the sink. I have no choice but to arch my back, jutting my ass out. Making me feel him grind his erection in the crease of my ass. My free hand that's not gripping his around my neck rests on the counter. I try to push back, but he holds my hand down, stopping my movement.
"I don't think you understand the game you started. You showed me a part of yourself last night whether it was intentional or not. I saw it." He whispers to me with that husky voice, sending a jolting heat down to my stomach. I can smell his addicting woodsy scent. The feel of his steel body rolling into mine. His hands alighting my nerves to a thousand. I shut my eyes becoming overwhelmed by the overstimulation of everything that is him.
"You may not see it now but you're someone that's full of chaos that you hide behind with a fiery stare." He moves his hand that's on my throat to rub his thumb along my scar. "But the thing about chaos is that if you don't embrace it. It'll fucking destroy you." He tilts my head back making me look up at him. He lowers his face inches away from my mouth speaking over it. "You just declared war by showing me your inner chaos last night. And I plan on taking it."
With that he lets go of me go and I grip the counter. My legs are shaking but I hold myself up refusing to fall. I stare at him in the mirror and his face is back to being emotionless. "See you on Monday."
Once Everestt steps out of the bathroom I collapse onto the floor. Tears that I've been holding back since yesterday night start to pour out of me. I pull my knees to my chest rocking back and forth hyperventilating on the toxic crimson. I rub my scar and mutter those 4 words. 4 words that will have to give me the strength to get through this weekend, and for what's to come Monday morning.
"1 2 3 fall."
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~Author Note~
Word Count: 4,722
Holy fucking shit things are heating up!! Hope you enjoyed these back to back chapters. May be more like this in the future. And Happy Valentine's Dayy!! <3
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xoxo gossip girl. Hehe I'm just playing
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