I have so many of these incorrect quotes I will never run out. Also once again maturity warning, lots of swearing and dirty jokes. Also some silly headcanons yu might not agree with.
Soul: Make no mistake...Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Corruption: But are you shuffling!?
Soul: Every. Day.
Sabre: What language are you two speaking??
Sabre: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Rainbow: Put spaghetti in it.
Sabre: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Elemental: Put spaghetti in it.
Sabre: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Time: Put spaghetti in it.
Sabre: I am no longer taking suggestions.
(Rainbow genuinely thinks it's a good idea, elemental just wants to cause chaos and time wants to make the other two happy lmao)
Time: How do Sabre and Rainbow usually get out of these messes?
Elemental: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.
Sabre: I believe in you, Dark Steve!
Dark, to himself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Sabre can think to say to me is that he doesn't doubt my existence.
Sabre: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.
Sabre: What's the status up here?
Corruption: Fucked up, boutta conquer the world, Soul's a nerd. The usual.
Sabre: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Elemental: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Sabre: Not when you're playing with your bitch of a brother, it's not. He puts words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."
Elemental: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.
Sabre: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.
Sabre: *About to do something incredibly stupid*
Time: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself. Plus I really want to see what happens.
Sabre: WHO ATE MY PIE?!
Sabre: I'M GOING TO K-
Time: I did?
Sabre: Kiss you and buy some more, you sweet blessing.
Sabre: *walks away*
Time:
Time: he's gone Elemental.
Elemental, coming out the closet with pumpkin pie stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!
Sabre: Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing voices.
Sabre: Then I remember that's the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.
Sabre & Elemental: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*
Sabre: We need an adult!
Elemental: Sabre, you are an adult!
Sabre: We need an adultier adult! Get Time!
Void: So, Corruption is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Sabre: Why?
Void: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Corruption, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
Elemental: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
Sabre: We either die free, or die trying!
Rainbow: Are those the only options??!
Sabre: Where are your parents?
Elemental & Time: What are parents?
Sabre: That's just about the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Corruption, on the phone: I better go...kay, call me later... byeeee!
Sabre: Friend of yours?
Corruption: Nope, wrong number.
Sabre: ???
Elemental: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Sabre: Hey bestie-
Nightmare: Die.
Sabre: What did I do to you-
Dark, sniffling: Calm down, I'm probably not sick. It might just be allergies.
Sabre: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?
Dark: I'm depressed, what do you think?
Rainbow: but...but I failed everyone!
Elemental: everyone is a stretch. I mean c'mon, if 99% percent of the world hated you, that's still 70,000,000 people that are willing to tolerate you.
Rainbow: huh...I guess that's reassuring...
Elemental: statistically speaking, at least.
Rainbow:
Elemental: you are pretty unlikable-
Time: has anyone ever told you to quit while you're ahead?
Infected Violet Steves: love is in the air...aaaand poisonous gas.
*Time and Elemental are in Paris.*
Elemental: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?
Time: But...
Elemental: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...
Time: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
Elemental: Yeah.
Time: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us...
Elemental: Yeah, but this is the BRIDGE from INCEPTION.
Time: Okay, alright.
Sabre: Are you sure this is safe?
Light: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.
Yellow w/ chestplate: Keep twisting, junior! All you're gonna get is clicks.
Sabre: Can I bother you for a second?
Void: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
Sabre: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.
Void:
Sabre: Vroom vroom, come out already.
Elemental: Have you even PLAYED duck duck gray duck
Time: it's duck duck goose, you HEATHEN.
Elemental: It's too early for this.
*sent at 11:57 AM*
Time: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don't care about them.
Void: That's brilliant.
Time: Thank you, Tom.
Yellow w/ chestplate: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Light: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Sabre: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Light: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
Time: Have I ever told you that you cook well?
Sabre: Awww, no, you haven't!
Time: So why do you keep cooking?
Corruption: Can we get a birthday cake?
Void: It's not your birthday.
Corruption: The cake won't know!
Sabre: Why are you wearing glasses?
Elemental: Errr...reading...?
Sabre: Reading?
Sabre: I didn't know you could read.
Elemental: WHO THE FUCK-
Time: Whoa, language!
Elemental: I speak fucking English!
Time: ...
Sabre: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!
Sabre: First who would you kill?
*Light points at Dark*
*rainbow points at Dark*
*Yellow w/ chestplate points at Dark*
Dark: *shrugs* I would kill me too.
Corruption: How would you like to live forever?
Elemental: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
Time: How would you like your coffee?
Elemental: As dark as my soul.
Time: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!
ShadowSabre: People always shoot down my ideas and I'm sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone's always shouting "what the fuck? that's illegal!" and "you can't do that!". Like, c'mon, let me talk!
Elemental: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Time: Neither.
Time: Because it's twelve.
Sabre: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing their name to Void.
Time: What happened to your nose?
Elemental: I used it to break some guy's fist.
(STEVE LABS LOL)
Assistant: out here living my best life
Rainbow: Sabre is drowning
Assistant: this ain't about him
Corruption: *nudges Soul at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Soul? Wake up, Soul! Listen! They're sexless!
Soul: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.
Rainbow: I feel so burnt out.
CC!Sabre: Don't worry, it'll be over soon.
Rainbow: Are you gonna... kill me off?
CC!Sabre: Well not if you're expecting it.
Dark: We're having a moment, aren't we?
Sabre: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
Professor Red: Assistant, release the serotonin
Assistant Steve: releasing neurotoxins :)
Professor Red: ASSISTANT NOOO- *dying intensifies*
Elemental: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don't have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.
Time: I hope you understand how food poisoning works.
Elemental: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I've never met a burger i couldn't eat.