Writer's Pov.
Grimmauld Place.
A few days later.
It's been a few days since Harry had a conversation with Hermione about his bond with Draco. That night was spent normally however, from the next day Harry maintained a distance from Draco.
There were fewer 'I love yous', fewer kisses, and less cuddling from Harry's side. Their afternoon cuddling time on the chair was completely cut down by Harry, who spent his afternoon in their house library whereas, Draco spent his afternoon mostly in bed. They ate together but with less conversation. They slept at different times now. Draco slept early and Harry went to their room past midnight which was not the case before.
Draco, who was so attached to Harry and their 'together' time, immediately felt the distance. It didn't take him even two days to realize that Harry was distancing himself. At first, he thought to give him some space, maybe Harry was doing it unintentionally but soon it was clear to him that it was intentional.
The way Harry dodged their afternoon cuddling time by making excuses, the way he stopped coming to bed early by giving some stupid reasons, and the way he stopped expressing his love for Draco were enough to convey Harry's intentional distancing.
Draco tried his best to know the reason by himself. At first, he thought maybe he had committed some sort of mistake that caused such distance in between them however he could think of nothing that could set Harry off. Then he thought that maybe Harry was trying to find his career stream so that he could start working but soon Draco realized that was not the case. Then he came up with the only left reason that Harry was fed up with him and his child and he wanted to get rid of them.
'This has to be the reason,' Draco thought.
His life and his happiness suddenly took a negative turn. His afternoons and nights were spent in crying himself to sleep. He was trying hard to find the reason that caused Harry to stop loving him.
Maybe it was his emotional behavior, maybe he was too clingy for Harry's liking, maybe Harry was fed up with his insecurities, maybe the way he looked, maybe lack of physical intimacy, or maybe he just had enough of babysitting Draco. There were so many reasons that he was not able to point out one. It could also be his destiny that wanted to give him more pain.
He was even worried about his baby girl. If Harry left Draco then what would happen to them? He was not mentally stable and this heartbreak would break him apart. How would he be able to take care of his baby in such a state?
Maybe he should give birth and then give his baby to someone. After that, he could just die? His baby girl would live a good life and his sufferings would end.
At present, Draco was sitting on their bed. He woke up a few minutes back and looked around his room. As usual, Harry was not in the room. It was expected now. Draco mostly woke up alone and met Harry during their breakfast but this wouldn't happen today. Today Draco had no intention of going down for breakfast.
He was broken, completely devastated but he had taken his decision and he would stick with it. Today, he would have a conversation with Harry about his behavior. He would ask for an explanation and if he didn't get one then he would leave this house forever. He knew that even if Harry was distancing himself, he was still taking care of his potions and meals so he would come here to take him for breakfast.
And he came. Draco had to wait for a few minutes before their bedroom door opened and Harry stepped inside.
"Good morning. Come let's eat breakfast?" He asked softly but Draco didn't reply.
"Draco, are you okay?" Harry asked and he sat on the bed in front of him and touched his cheek softly. Draco looked at Harry and Harry smiled at him.
"Breakfast?" Harry asked again and Draco nodded his head in denial.
Harry frowned and asked. "What happened?"
"Ask yourself, Harry, what happened?" Draco said with anger lacing in his voice. Harry looked away and said. "Nothing happened to me. Everything is fine."
"Why don't you lie while looking in my eyes? At least make me believe in your lies, Potter." Draco said louder than before.
Harry looked at Draco but said nothing. Draco waited for a minute and then his eyes teared up.
"Are you fed up already?" He asked in a low tone. Harry's eyebrow furrowed and he cupped Draco's face immediately and nodded his head in denial.
"Then why? Please tell me why are you doing this. I need to know the reason. Please," Draco cried and held Harry's hands which were cupping his face.
"It's nothing," Harry murmured in a low tone.
"Don't lie. I promise I will work on myself just tell me your reason. Am I too clingy? Or maybe my insecurities are irritating you? I need to know your reason. I will change myself completely, Harry. I will behave in the way you want but please don't do this. It's hurting me." Draco sobbed and Harry was too stunned to react. He never wanted to hurt Draco at all but he did. He had hurt his Draco so much in the process of slowing down the bonding.
"I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Draco. I am so sorry." Harry said painfully.
"Am I imposing myself on you?" Draco asked again not listening to Harry. He just wanted to know the reason so that he could work on it. He was too dependent on Harry and he couldn't afford to lose him. Just couldn't. He would do anything for Harry's love. Anything and everything. He would change himself completely if Harry said it once. He needed Harry, his baby needed Harry.
"Do you want a break from us? I can give you some space, I promise. Maybe I should shift to another room and I promise I won't trouble you. But don't do this." Draco said still holding Harry's hand tightly.
"Or maybe you need intimacy? Is that the reason Harry? I.. I.. I am trying my best to allow you. I am trying, Harry. I am trying my best. Please don't leave me." Draco cried more and kept his head on Harry's shoulder.
Harry was too shocked by Draco's reactions. A few days of distance affected Draco so much. The Draco he knew from Hogwarts would have left him in his anger and ego however this Draco was way too much broken for that.
Draco's past, his insecurities, his pain along with his intensity of love for Harry was making it hard for him to leave. He didn't want to lose Harry because that would just kill him and his baby. He wanted to try hard to keep this relationship intact. He wanted to do everything for his love.
Harry's arms wrapped around Draco and he took him in a tight hug. Draco cried and pleaded in broken sentences to not leave him.
"I am sorry." Harry kept apologizing to him again and again while softly caressing his back.
After a few minutes, Draco was now a little composed. He broke the hug and looked at Harry.
"I love you a lot, Draco," Harry said while cupping his face. Draco looked at him with red swollen eyes. "Then why are you ignoring me? Why do I feel you are going away from me? Why are you intentionally distancing yourself, Harry?"
Harry stayed silent at this and Draco smiled in response. He looked down at his baby bump and felt like a loser. He was begging Harry for his love. He had never behaved like this ever before. He wouldn't have given a shit if anyone left him, he was Draco Malfoy and he knew his worth. But now there was no self-love, no self-respect left in him. One year of humiliation was enough to stop loving yourself. He wanted to still try.
"Do you want sex?" Draco looked up again at him. "Go ahead. I am yours." This was Draco's last attempt. He had given everything except his body. Maybe if he offered his body then things would get better again.
Harry sighed with a look of disbelief on his face. He looked at Draco and said. "I don't want that, Draco."
"Then what is the reason?" Draco asked again and Harry still stayed silent. Draco waited for a few minutes but got nothing in reply.
Draco looked down at his bump. 'What am I even doing? Why am I begging for love? I am Draco Malfoy and I don't need anyone. I have stayed alone before and I was fine. Lonely but fine. So why do I need Harry so much?' A part of Draco screamed in his head.
'No, I don't need anyone. I am enough for myself and my baby. I don't need to beg for anyone's love. I am broken, mentally vulnerable but not a loser in life. If I can stay alive for an entire year filled with tortures then I can go through this alone. I don't need need anyone. Not even Harry.' Another part of him said determinedly.
Draco wiped his tears away, stood up from the bed, and walked towards their walk-in closet. Harry followed him and saw him stuffing his clothes in a suitcase.
"What are you doing?" Harry asked immediately and held his elbow turning him around.
"Leaving this house. You stay with your silence. I can't beg more." Draco said angrily and jerked off Harry's hands.
"No, you are not going anywhere," Harry said scared by Draco's reaction.
"Let me see how you will stop me, Potter," Draco yelled.
"Draco? Please, what are you doing?" Harry asked in a low painful tone.
"I am done, Potter. I have begged enough not anymore. Don't forget that I am Draco Malfoy and I don't need anyone. If one year of assaults and rapes didn't kill me then a heartbreak will not. I am done." Draco said and closed his suitcase.
"Draco, please I love you," Harry said again holding his elbow and turning him around to face him.
"Not all love stories are meant to be complete," Draco said. "You had your reasons to distance yourself from me and now I have my self-respect that's not allowing me to beg anymore. I asked you enough times. I begged enough not anymore." Anger and tears were pouring out from Draco's eyes.
"Just once listen to me," Harry said in a pleading done.
"I and my child don't need you. We will somehow manage." Draco said and again jerked off his hand.
"She is even mine child."
"No. She is not." Draco said while looking into Harry's eyes with pure anger and nodding his head in denial. "Only mine. I went through assaults and rapes to earn my precious baby. What did you do to earn her, Harry? Oh did you earn her by making me beg for your love?" Draco asked in anger.
Draco picked up his suitcase and walked towards the door only to be stopped by a wall formed through Harry's magic.
"What is this, Potter?" Draco asked angrily.
"Can you see the wall?" Harry asked to which Draco looked at him angrily and said. "Yes clearly. Take it off right now or else even I know how to use magic."
Harry ignored Draco's threat and said in a low tone. "I have used a spell which uses my raw magic to cast a wall. Raw Magic can only be seen to its caster so how are you able to see the wall, see my raw magic?" Harry said and Draco frowned. He looked at the wall and then again at Harry.
"Do you remember the day when you prepared bed breakfast for me? That day I asked you whether you feel some strings forming around us?" Draco rolled his eyes irritated by Harry and asked. "Yes, so what?"
"Now join both of these things and try to understand what it means," Harry said and Draco's eyes widened in shock. He clearly understood what this meant.
"We...we share a soul bond?" Draco muttered.
"Yes, we do." Harry agreed to him.
Harry walked towards Draco and held both of his hands in his. "When I got to know about our bond, I was so happy, Draco. Our love, our bond is the purest form of bond but at the same time I got to know that once we are bonded, there will be a pull that will lead us to get physical. This stopped me Draco, this scared me. You are not ready for sex and I don't want to ever force you for anything. Just think what will happen when we are bonded? We won't be able to stop ourselves from getting physical due to the intensity of the pull. But what is going to be the aftermath of it? Will you be able to accept that we had sex even when you are not comfortable? How will that make me feel, Draco? How will I feel when I realize that I was not able to stop myself even when I knew you weren't ready?"
Draco stayed silent as he was still processing everything. It was such a big truth to digest. He shared a soul bond with Harry. One of the purest and rarest bonds with Harry?
"I got scared of the aftermath of it, Draco. I know we won't lose each other but the guilt of it will almost kill me. I thought to maintain a distance so that we could slow down the pace of it. Our bond is getting stronger at a very fast pace and if this continues then it will be complete within a month but are you ready to get physical with me within a month?" Harry asked but Draco was still silent. He was hearing Harry but his mind was not processing it.
How could he be so stupid? How didn't he realize when he saw Harry's casted protection spell at dinner night in the Burrow? Why was he not able to understand it before?
"Draco?" Harry called his name and he held Draco's side of the arms.
Draco got out of his trance and looked at Harry. He was too stunned to speak anything. "I am sorry, Draco."
"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Draco asked.
"I got to know on the night when Hermione and Ron visited us for dinner. She confirmed that we share a soul bond." Harry said.
"Okay, so when were you planning to inform me?" Draco asked in a cold tone to which Harry didn't reply. He had nothing to say.
"You had no intention to inform me, Potter?" Draco asked.
"Draco, I just didn't want to give any unnecessary stress. So I thought..."
He was cut by Draco who said. "So you thought to make decisions for this relationship alone."
"No, please don't get me wrong..."
He was again cut by Draco who snapped. "No Potter, now I am understanding things right. Do you even know that a relationship is created by two people and both of them make decisions for it? But, of course, why do you need my opinion? Why will my opinion even matter to you? After all, I am just a used vulnerable death eater in your eyes. So why is there any need to ask me before making any decisions for our relationship? Am I right, Potter?
Harry's eyes teared hearing him. He never wanted things to go this way.
"I am just a toy, after all," Draco said and laughed hysterically with tears falling from his eyes. "First those monsters used me for their lust and now you are using me in the name of love."
"Don't say that, Draco. I love you." Harry cried.
"Is this your love, Harry? Where you don't even value your partner?" Draco asked.
"Please Draco." He pleaded because Draco was taking this whole situation in the wrong way.
"Please what?" Draco asked coldly.
"I was just thinking about you, I swear. I just wanted to make sure that nothing makes you uncomfortable. That was my only intention."
"Yes and by walking on that path it's okay to hurt Draco and his feelings? Because my feelings are not important for 'The Harry Potter'." Draco again said coldly.
"I am sorry. I know I have made a mistake. I should have informed you about our soul bond and we should have taken a decision together. Even Hermione advised me that I should inform you before taking any step but I didn't. I thought that this information might stress you and stress is not good for you and the baby. I am sorry. It is my mistake and I own it up. Please forgive me, Draco. I will make sure I never repeat such a mistake ever again. Please, just give me one chance." Harry said with tears falling from his eyes and his hands holding Draco's hands tightly.
Draco smiled and replied. "Do you even know how many times I have cried in the last few days? Just to slow down the pace of our bonding you have hurt me so much, Harry. You know how much I am attached to you, and how much I look forward to spending time with you. In the afternoon, I don't read your book but I still pretend just to be in your arms and you took that away from me within a night."
Draco took his hands away from Harry and wiped his tears away. "It's not your mistake but mine. You were able to hurt me so badly because I have given you the right to hurt me. I got hurt because I am too much attached to you but this needs to change. I can't be dependent on you so much. No, I just can't."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked with wide eyes.
"I need some time and space from us," Draco murmured while looking into Harry's eyes. Harry nodded in denial still tears falling from his eyes.
Harry took a step towards him and again held his hand in a very tight grip. "Don't say this, please. If you are dependent on me then even I am. I won't survive alone, I swear. I need you and Bub in my life. Please, Draco."
"I need some space," Draco said looking at Harry.
"No, please don't leave. You want your space you can have it but please stay here in this house. I don't want you to risk your and Bub's safety because of my stupidity."
"That's not..."
Draco was cut by Harry who said desperately. "I will shift to another room. I won't even show you my face. You can have your time and space, I promise. If you want then we will stay with each other as housemates and will not even talk but please stay here. Please." Harry pleaded.
Draco didn't reply for a few minutes so Harry said. "Don't stay for me but please stay for our.... your baby."
Harry felt so much pain by calling their baby only Draco's. He loved their baby a lot and calling her Draco's baby hurt him so much.
Draco saw the pain that Harry felt by calling their baby only his. He knew that Harry loved him and their child a lot. He even knew that the intention behind his actions was pure but he was hurt. Harry not only hid their bond from him but also took a decision that affected their relationship.
"Please for baby?" Harry again asked to which Draco nodded his head in yes.
"I will shift to my old room and I need some space and time. We can be civil with each other but can't be boyfriends." Draco said coldly to which Harry nodded his head in yes. Draco picked up his suitcase and left their room.
He entered his old bedroom and closed the door. As soon as the door was closed, Draco felt himself falling on the floor and crying loudly. He was beyond hurt. He never thought that Harry would ever make him feel so worthless in their relationship. Everyone had made him feel worthless, a worthless son, a worthless wizard, a worthless death eater, a worthless slut, and now a worthless lover. No one ever valued him not even his Harry.
Harry felt like his soul left his body the moment Draco left their room. He fell on the floor crying loudly. What did he do? How could he make such a mistake? Not only did he hurt Draco but also put a temporary end to their beautiful relationship. He didn't even know when this would end. When Draco will forgive him? It might take him weeks or months and what would he do till that time? How would he survive without his family? Without his Draco? Without his child? Was she even his child? Would Draco again allow him to be her Papa?
He raised his right hand towards the frame that held their daughter's scan and it flew to his hand. He looked at the moving picture of her and caressed it.
"I am sorry. I have hurt your dady and even you, my baby. I am so sorry." He murmured as tears fell from his eyes.
"Will my baby forgive me? Will your dady forgive me? Will he allow me in his life again? Will he allow me to be your papa?" Harry asked in a low tone as he slowly lay down on the floor and hugged that frame to his chest.
Suddenly, he felt the strings around him loosening and disappearing.
"No. No." Harry cried feeling his bond with Draco getting weaker. "No." He cried more.
To be continued...
BY J.