Harmony
Although I'm missing the sun, the good food and the relaxation, I'm incredibly happy to be back home. It's the first of December meaning it's literally Christmas and I can't wait.
I love Christmas. Especially because it's so nice celebrating it with my family. Aaliyah's family join mine and we do a big Christmas celebration together seeing as her and I have been best friends since we were children.
Only negative is that I have a lot of presents to buy. But I generally enjoy it because it's fun to go to the little London Christmas stalls and walk around Oxford street to see the lights. Even if I'm trying to fight people to get through or if I'm stuck behind slow walkers.
"We need to start decorating asap!" I tell Aaliyah. She's staying with me over the Christmas period seeing as her family are coming down to mine anyways.
Thank goodness it's a big house.
"Harms, it's literally the second week of December. I'm sure we can wait a week."
"No! We can't! We need to start decorating right now!" I insist.
"This is going to be a long ass holiday." Aaliyah sighs flopping onto the couch.
"Not for you. I have to prepare this house for your mum, dad, little brother, aunt, uncle and their children! Plus my mum and sister and her children." Safe to say I took on the hosting responsibilities without actually realising just how hard it is and now I'm panicking.
"Girl, it'll be fine. I'm here to help." She pulls me to sit down on the couch.
I flop down dramatically with a deep sigh. Head resting back on it.
"So." Aaliyah turns to look at me. Sitting up a bit.
"You feeling better about you and Jude?" She questions.
I let her question hang in the air for a few seconds. Thinking to myself.
"Uhm....yeah." I nod.
"Yeah I am."
"Because...we're done. And I've finally accepted that."
"Done? What do you mean done?" Aaliyah looks shocked.
I look at her with a calm smile.
"I believe—well I hope that one day we'll find our way back to each other. But for now, our story is over. And that's okay. We're friends and I'm happy with that. We both have a lot of maturing and growing to do." I shrug. I feel as though I'm trying to convince myself as well as Aaliyah.
"Oh wow." She exhales.
"That's really...mature of you. I'm shocked." She teases, nudging me. Her way of lightening up the mood.
I roll my eyes, pushing her away, just as playfully.
My phone buzzes from beside me on the couch. I pick it up to see that the caller is none other than the man himself. Jude.
"Jude's calling?" I look at Aaliyah confused.
"Hmm, maybe your story isn't over." She grins standing up from the couch.
"Tell him I said hi." She calls out as she leaves the living room, walking up the stairs.
I breathe out feeling a little nervous.
"Jude?" I say as I accept the call.
"Harmony, hey."
"Hi."
"Sorry for calling randomly." He apologies
"Don't be. We're friends. You can call anytime." I encourage.
"Oh. Good. I'm...glad."
"I uh...this might be a stretch but I wanted to ask you for a favour."
"Shoot." I reply
"Well, Christmas is coming up soon so I decided to do my Christmas present shopping today. But as you know—"
"You're absolutely shit at shopping for gifts?" I butt in.
He laughs down the phone. His laugh is my favourite thing to hear. Feels like home.
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"No clue what to get for anyone. My mum especially." He admits
"I can already think of a million things." I gloat.
"I bet you can." He chuckles
"I know this is really last minute. But...is there any chance you'd be able to come shopping with me today? I could pick you up for about six?" Six on a Friday night in central London is hell. But I'll go because they have these cute new Christmas stalls I've wanted to check out since coming back.
"Of course if it's too awkward for you then—"
"Six is perfect." I cut him off.
"Great!" I can tell he's smiling.
"Do you need my address? It's been a while—"
"Still have it memorised." He says before I can finish my sentence.
"Oh." I try and not smile at that.
"Okay then."
"Okay." He copies
"See you at six."
"Thanks Harms. See you at six."
We both end the call at the same time and I can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and nerves. The pair of us will be out in public together again in London after a year. Never saw this day coming. Ever.
I've got an hour until he arrives. I rush upstairs, calling Aaliyah into my room as I begin to get ready. I'm in charcoal grey joggers with a matching long sleeved top from Skims.
I'm leaving what I have on because I value comfort. I throw on my cream cropped puffer coat, white scarf and grey beanie.
"I think you'd find your story is wide open." Aaliyah watches as I slip on my tan uggs.
"We're friends now. It's okay for us to go shopping. Very much friendly." I retort.
"If you think he's ever viewed you as just a friend, like ever. You're insane."
"No time for your lectures, he'll be here soon." I check my phone to see that time is already passing by quickly.
I walk over to my jewellery. Look down at the magnolia ring Jude bought for my birthday two years ago. Haven't worn it since we broke up. Couldn't. But I also couldn't get rid of it. I love it too much.
It's kind of calling out to me to be worn today. So I slip it on my finger, admiring it in the light.
"The rings back on? Yeah you two are far from done." Aaliyah mumbles to herself. I roll my eyes ignoring her comments.
By time I know it, my doorbell rings.
"I'm kinda bricking it." I grit my teeth as I look at my best friend.
"You've got this." She ushers me out of my room and down the stairs.
I take a deep breath before I open the door. My ex boyfriend on the other side. All black tracksuit, black north face puffer jacket. Grey beanie on his head that kind of match's mine. He looks good in all black. always has.
"Hey." I smile
"Hi." He smiles back
"Hello." Aaliyah grins. Looking at the pair of us.
"Hey Aaliyah." Jude laughs softly
"Hey Judeth."
"Ready to go?" Jude questions.
I grab my bag from the banister and nod.
He lets me walk out first, saying his goodbyes to Aaliyah before following me to his car.
We get in at the same time. Been a while since I've sat in the car. Feels like yesterday we were driving around in it, listening to music. Being all sickeningly and obviously in love.
"Wanna play something?" He questions
"Sure." I nod. I expect I have to set up the Bluetooth on my phone again. But as I go to do it I see it's already connected. He hasn't taken me off. After all of this time.
I put on Frank ocean's Blonde album. My favourite album of his.
"So where are we going? Soho?" I question looking over to Jude.
"Yeah we could go there or Regent street?"
"I think soho might be better."
"Okay soho it is then." He smiles, focusing his eyes back on the road.
It takes an hour to get there just because of the heavy Friday night traffic. Jude finds somewhere to park and we both hop out.
I'm already dreading the crowds. Hopefully no one comes up to him asking for a picture either because then that'll be plastered everywhere and rumours will start to fly.
"Where do we even start." Jude already seems distressed. It's hilarious.
"Who do you want to shop for first is the question." I look over at him as we walk.
"No clue."
"Okay. Let's start with Jobe." I suggest
"Sounds good."
"What does he like do you know?" Hopefully he can at least answer that question.
Jude shrugs.
"I can't believe after a year you still haven't improved your critical thinking skills." I laugh. Two years ago when we went Christmas shopping I asked him the same question and he didn't know. Jobe is literally his brother. How does he not know what he likes.
"I'm a busy guy, I don't have time to think about these things." He defends
"Clearly you don't have time to think at all." I tease.
"Oi, that's rude." He laughs
I ignore him, scan the area for somewhere I can buy Jobe something. I have an idea of what he may like.
I see a Selfridges. A good place, I can get more or less all of his family something from here along with mine. Thinking of buying my niece some earrings, my nephew a chain, my mum and sister necklaces or bracelets. And then the others I can find something.
"Are you happy to spend a lot of money? Or are you a bit tight with your cash these days?" I tease looking at Jude.
"You're really gunning for me today aren't you?" He smirks
"When am I not." I smile pleased.
"I'm happy to spend money." He clarifies.
"Okay good. Let's go to Selfridges then." I point over at it. Jude looks over at it and nods. Follows me as I begin to walk towards it.
"I was thinking for Jobe we could buy him a chain." I state as we walk by Cartier, looking at the jewellery on display.
"We?" Jude raises an eyebrow. Amused smile on his lips.
"Glad to know you're paying half."
"Shut up. You know what I mean." I roll my eyes. He's so annoying sometimes.
"Is he a gold or silver guy?" I ask as I look down at the chains.
"I don't know." Jude the useless man that he is, shrugs.
I glare at him. "Are you serious? You don't even know what colour jewellery your brother likes to wear?"
"No." He shakes his head.
I huff, taking out my phone and going onto my Instagram. I search up Jobe's account, look at a few of his pictures.
Jude peers over my shoulder to see what I'm doing.
"Why are you looking at my brothers instagram?" He asks stupidly.
"Just hush." I put a hand up to silence him.
"Silver." I say to myself, locking my phone and looking back at the display.
"I think he'd like this one." I point at one of the chains. It a silver diamond one.
"Maybe. Not sure." Jude nonchalantly shrugs.
I sigh. "You know what, you stand over there in the corner and wait for me to be done."
"Alright mum." He laughs
I flip him off letting out a deep exhale. This man will be the death of me one day I swear. Absolute man child at times.
I signal over the employee politely, ask a few questions about the chain before I let him know that I'd like to buy it.
"You may return". I signal for Jude to come back over.
"Thank you so much!" His voice dripping with sarcasm.
The employee is excited when he notices it's Jude buying it. He kindly offers him a discount where he can get two chains for one or another piece of jewellery his choice.
He looks over at me like a lost puppy, unsure of what else to get.
I laugh loudly at his confusion.
"You could get your dad something? Or Toby?" I suggest
"Dad could get a chain perhaps?" He forms his sentence as a question so he can get my opinion.
"Sounds good. Guessing you don't know if he's a gold or silver guy." I laugh
"Gold." Jude smiles smugly
"Oh? You do know." I say surprised
"Checked with mum just now, thought it would be useful to know after you asked about Jobe."
"Look at you catching on." I nudge him playfully.
He laughs and then looks over at the gold chains being shown. There's a gold one with small diamonds around it. Identical to Jobe's just gold.
"I'll get him this one." Jude points to the chain and then looks at the employee.
"I like that one." I nod in agreement.
The employee packages both chains, Jude pays and then we leave. Thanking the employee as we do so.
"Two down two to go." Jude says triumphantly.
As we walk I spot Swarovski. I stop at it so I can look at the earrings and chains to see if I can pick up something for my family.
I notice a cute pair of earrings and a small little chain which are perfect for my niece and nephew so I buy that.
Once I'm done Jude and I walk a bit more until we get to Dior. Immediately I'm getting flashbacks from us in Madrid. Him buying me the Dior bag I joked about. Things were so simple then.
"Still have the dior bag?" He asks as if he can read my mind.
"Do I still have my prized possession? Of course I do." I laugh.
"I think your mum would either love a bag or a pretty necklace." I advise checking out the bags. Thinking of buying a Dior bag for my sister and a cute purse for my mum.
"I bought her a necklace for her birthday. From Chanel. So I think a bag."
"Okay, let's look for a bag then." I smile.
We search for a little before both Jude and I find bags for his mum and my sister. I also find a really cute Dior clutch for my mum that she can wear on her shoulder or just hold, very versatile.
By the time we're finished I'm extremely happy and as is Jude. He's only got Toby to shop for and I have Aaliyah and her parents left. And two other people I'm debating.
"Hey, have you bought Michael something yet?" Michael's so lovely and still Jude's manager he deserves a gift after everything he's done.
"Yeah I got him this really nice watch." Jude reveals
"Aw that's nice."
"I think I wanna get him something. If you don't mind giving it to him when you're back in Madrid?"
"Yeah course." Jude says softly.
We walk to Saint Laurent to the fragrances. I decide to buy a perfume for Aaliyah's mum along with these gorgeous gold earrings. And for her dad I get him a cologne and a silver Tandem ring. I also manage to spot a silver men's bracelet I think Mike would like so I buy that for him.
Jude manages to find a matching ring and stud earrings set for Toby that he's happy with. By the time we're done in Saint Laurent we have about eight little bags between us.
As I'm grabbing the last bag Jude looks at my hand and spots the ring.
"Still have it then." He smiles nodding at it.
I look down at it and smile, twiddling it around my finger.
"Yeah. Course." I look up at him.
"Good. I'm...I'm really glad you do." His eyes are soft as he looks into mine. I always loved the way he looked at me. Felt like I was the only person in existence.
I break off our moment by looking away, looking around Selfridges for the next place to go to. Should be the last seeing as I only have one more person to buy for. Officially that is.
I stop at Hermes knowing exactly what I'm getting my best friend of many years. Seeing as her birthday is December 29th I've told her this gift is a joint Christmas and birthday present and that for her birthday I'll get her something else but it won't be as big as this present.
I love Aaliyah so much. She's the best friend a girl could ask for. She's been there for me through absolutely everything. So it's only right I buy what she's been dying to get for ages. A birkin.
"I'm going to go look over there I think I saw something for my aunt." Jude states pointing at Pandora.
"Okay." I smile watching as he leaves.
I'm happy he's left actually. Now I can buy his gift.
I was hesitant at first. About getting him a gift. Wasn't sure where we stood. But now we've established we're friends and he means a lot to me. I care about him. So I've decided to get him something.
He seems like a ring kind of guy, something simple yet nice. I did spot a really nice silver ring back at Dior.
I rush back over there to buy what I saw for Jude and then I return to Hermes to pick out Aaliyah's bag.
She's a very fierce and bold girl so I decide to go with the burgundy colour that has the crocodile pattern. That I'll know she'll love.
Jude returns just after I purchase it.
"Hey, did you get something for your aunt?" I ask
"Yeah I did." He scratches the back of his neck.
"Cool I'm all done. So we can go."
"We spent two hours in there." Jude sighs as we join the crowds of people walking up and down the street.
"Stop complaining! At least we didn't have to be stuck in the crowds! We found everything we needed in one place."
"True."
"Thanks Harms. Means a lot."
"No problem." I smile happily.
The Christmas market stalls I wanted to go to are still out and I see they're stalls for plants. Christmas plants especially.
"Oh my god! Christmas plants!" I beam as I point over at the little slip street with all of the stalls.
"No!" Jude groans
"Yes!" I say adamantly
"No! You don't need anymore plants! You literally bought one in Italy. And if I remember your house as it was a year ago correctly, you haven't got anymore space!" He sighs.
"Shut up and come on!" I groan pulling his arm towards the stalls.
We stop at the top of the road. I'm smiling excitedly, and grumpy guts Jude is frowning.
I turn to him, excited.
"Come on!"
"You go, I'm staying here."
"Why?"
"I'm not enabling your clear addiction." He crosses his arms as best he can with his puffy coat and millions of bags.
I roll my eyes. Cross my own arms over my chest and look at him.
"Please!" I knit my eyebrows together so I look sad.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?" I ask innocently.
"That face."
"Why not?" I question, again acting as if I have no clue about what he's inferring.
"Because you know I can't say no when you give me that look. Never could." He sighs as he looks down at me.
"Then don't say no." My mouth curves into a devious grin.
He huffs, visibly irritated.
"Fine. Five minutes."
"Ten." I pull his arm so he's walking towards the stalls with me.
"Five."
"We'll see." I chuckle stopping at the first one.
I already spot so many plants I want that I probably don't need, but I refrain from losing focus on what I'm here for. I want to get Denise a gift and I think a Christmas plant is perfect for her seeing as that's what we bonded over.
I take a look at all of the stalls, taking note of the best plants.
I find some red poinsettias that are gorgeous and I think she'll love. I decide to buy it and a cute pot for it to go with.
I pay thanking the elderly lady on the stall and then Jude takes it from my hands and we walk back up the little slip street towards the car.
"See, told you it wasn't going to be that bad."
"You're right it wasn't that bad. It was terrible."
"No it wasn't."
"It was. I really think you need to get a therapist for this obsession of yours. I'm sure you don't even have space for this." He teases.
"When there's a will there's a way." I shrug.
He unlocks the car and I open the boot, placing all of the shopping bags in there. I take the plant from Jude telling him I'll hold it instead as I don't want it to fall as we drive.
"I'm surprised you wasn't huddled by fans asking for a picture." I sit down in the car, putting my seatbelt on.
"So am I actually. Guess they didn't recognise me in my beanie." He shrugs
"Just how Matt doesn't recognise you when you wear glasses or even when you don't." I laugh.
"Oh I didn't tell you, he told me in Italy he knows who I actually am. Apparently he worked it out and he'll keep my secret." Jude laughs
"Oh my god." I shake my head, uncontrollably laughing at the thought of Matt and Jude having that conversation. I can imagine Jude's face. All annoyed.
"He's a funny one." Jude says
"He is. I actually like him and Giana a lot." I shrug
"Yeah, they're alright." Jude pulls away, checking behind him and in front for any cars.
The rest of the car ride we just talk. Feels like nothings changed with us. Like no time has passed. Just him and I driving around like old times.
He pulls up outside of my house and we both get out.
I take my bags from the boot but leave the plant and Mikes gift. Jude goes to pick it up the plant but I stop him.
"It's...for your mum." I smile sheepishly.
"Oh?" He looks surprised but he's smiling.
"It just felt right getting her a Christmas present." I shrug.
"I'm sorry if it's weird—"
"No it's not. It's really nice of you. Thanks Harms."
"You're welcome." I honestly feel relieved he doesn't think it's weird.
"Please, wrap it nicely." I sigh.
"You know I will." He grins
It's true. He will. For some reason he's strangely really good at wrapping presents.
"True." I laugh.
"Thanks again for coming with me tonight and helping me. I really appreciate it." His eyes are soft as he looks at me.
"No worries. Always happy to help."
"Well..." Jude looks around a bit awkwardly.
"I should—you should—we should get going." He clears his throat.
"Yes." I nod pressing my lips together.
He goes to outstretch his hand but realises I have loads of bags so he retracts it.
I walk closer and wrap my arms around him. A hug feels natural.
He hugs me back, holding me close to him and then we let go. Smiling at one another.
"Goodnight, Harmony Simmons." He smiles playfully. He's brought our goodnights back. The things I've missed so much no matter how annoying it is to say his full name all the time.
"Goodnight, Jude Bellingham." I respond just to humour him.
I turn away walking to my door. I place the bags down, unlock my door and then pick them up again and walk inside.
When I turn back around to close the door I see Jude still stood outside of his car, waiting for me to go in. I guess things really don't change.
I wave and he waves back and then I close the door.
"So! How was it!" Aaliyah fly's down the stairs.
"Good." I smile contently.
She looks down at the bags in my hands.
"Ooh! Christmas presents." She goes to reach for one but I back away.
"Nope, don't you dare. Your one's in here and I really don't want you to see it until Christmas. It's a surprise!" I warn.
She huffs. "Fine! Can I have a hint though?"
"Your hint is that I'm scared to check my bank account in the morning." I laugh.
"Ooh!" Aaliyah grins.
"Anyways Real housewives is ready, as are the cocktails."
"Okay, just going to put these in my room." I tell her walking up the stairs.
I put all of the presents in my wardrobe, hidden away from Aaliyah who I know will pry.
I leave Jude's last to put away. Look at it again and smile. Don't know when I'll give it to him. Maybe a few days after Christmas. I don't know.
I put his gift with the others and close my wardrobe doors, glancing at my Madrid shirt hanging up as the door closes.
"Just going to grab the pizza." Aaliyah says getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen. I nod, walking over to the fireplace.
I pick up the picture of Jude and I on Christmas Day and smile. I'll always love this. I just really hope one day there will be another picture just like this.
I put it down, giving it one last look before I sit back down on my couch and wait for Aaliyah to come back.
— literally listened to Jonny
By Faye Webster as I wrote this
which is literally the vibes of Jude
and Harmony in this chap.
— I want them to give off luke
and lorelai in s7 when they became
friends again and were in heavy
denial of their feelings lol. Don't
want harmony and Jude back
together yet, I like the healthy
friends who are secretly in
love thing.