"Once again, authorities are urging online users to encrypt their data more than ever to avoid the growing online cult known as 'Dressed and Smiling'. Members have been known to seriously harass people online. Please, do your best to secure your information."
"Dearest Louisianans, police urge you to lock your doors and windows. Please be sure to secure your locks and arm your home. The authorities have also set a curfew of 9 pm for the sake of your safety. Please, stay inside and in large groups."
***
"And then he kissed her right in front of- Y/N?"
"Hm?"
[Bestie] frowned, "Are you in there?"
"...mhm."
That was a bold-faced lie. You were definitely not paying attention. Perhaps you would've if it wasn't for the endless nagging at the back of your mind. You had more important things to think about than your best friend's friend's scumbag boyfriend cheating on her. You'd known he was trash from the moment you'd met him. Were they all really that surprised by this?
"You're distracted."
"...constantly."
"What's wrong?"
"You won't believe me if I tell you."
"...Wanna get ice cream instead of talking about it?"
"Yeah."
The two of you stood up from your table at the cafe and walked towards the exit. They opened the door for you and smiled playfully, "Ladies first, my dear."
You rolled your eyes, "How chivalrous."
"Only for you, darling."
"Uh huh. Right."
The two of you got into [Bestie]'s car, and they started driving.
"How's the cult going?"
"...They're doxxing people."
[Bestie] sucked in a breath, "Bad. Got it."
"Someone killed and ate their teacher too."
"Yikes."
"Mhm."
[Bestie] frowned, "Hey, you still carry those damn tapes with you?"
"One of em."
"Pop it in."
"...You sure?"
"Yeah."
"..."
"Go on."
"Why?"
"I'm curious."
"Oh."
"..."
"Come on, put it in already!"
You slid the tape into the player. It whirred and began to play.
"Yikes. That audio quality is total ass."
You shrugged, "To be fair, it was the 20's."
"When did this ancient fucker die again?"
"1933."
"Right."
The audio began.
"Hello! Welcome back, Ladies and Gents! Pleasure to be seeing you again-QUITE A PLEASURE! Today we have some very important news from the local police office! If everyone could please pay close attention, I would appreciate it very much."
"Why does he talk like that?"
"...dude, I dunno how many times I have to say this, but it was the 20's."
"Right."
The two of you sat in silence again, still listening to the recording.
"To quote our dear police force exactly, 'Dearest Louisianans, police urge you to lock your doors and windows. Please be sure to secure your locks and arm your home. The authorities have also set a curfew of 9 pm for the sake of your safety. Please, stay inside and in large groups. There is an active serial killer on the loose. We will release further details after and only after the assailant's arrest'. Well, everyone, you heard 'em! Stay on the lookout and stay safe! And remember–Always face life with a smile! You're never fully dressed without one, you know! Now, how about some music, hm?"
"Jesus, he sure is cheery for a murderer."
"That's probably why they never caught him."
[Bestie] stared at you in shock, "They never what?"
"Eyes on the road."
[Bestie] glared at the road, "They never caught him, huh?"
"Nope."
"Then how'd they know it was him?"
"They found his body after he died. Identified him."
"How's that?"
"He was shot in the head. Mistaken for a damn deer while he was hiding a body. Kinda his fault for being on a hunting ground though."
"That was stupid of him."
"Yeah."
"So they found him with the dead body then?"
"Mhm. Linked him back to the other crimes. About 30 deaths by his hand. Pretty nuts."
"And he ate these people too, you said?"
"Some of em."
"...you got shit taste in men, hun."
You chuckled at that. "I'm not into him. It was just really interesting. Ain't my fault a buncha nutjobs also found it interesting."
"Riiiiiiight."
You giggled, "I'm serious! It's just a hyperfixation. It'll pass like everything else."
"Sure it will."
The two of you stopped at the ice cream shoppe and you got out of the car, popping the tape in your purse just in case.
You claimed a table and left [Besite] at the table while you ordered for the both of you.
"Welcome to Freezey Kreme's. What can I get'cha?"
"[Favorite ice cream flavor] and [Other fav flavor]. Two scoops each. Waffle cone."
"Yes ma'am! That'll be 4 bucks eighteen cents!"
"Thanks man."
You set the cash on the counter and sat back down at the table with [Bestie]. They smiled as you sat down.
"Tell me," they began, "What got you so into that nut job murderfuck bullshit, huh?"
You rolled your eyes, "I told you. I found all that shit up in the attic and I decided to glance through it. I just got pretty interested in it is all."
"Because you thought he was hot?"
"Shut up!" You giggled and smacked your head against the table.
"I'm just sayin~ I mean, don't you listen to those damn tapes when you go to sleep?"
You groaned and kept laughing, "Shaddap~!"
The server handed you a holder with your ice cream cones in it and walked off. You stared in resigned horror as, yet again, your best friend bit into their ice cream.
"And you call me nuts."
"No, see, in this case, I call you a pussy actually."
"No, I think I'm just a normal person who likes not being in pain."
"Who started a murder cult? It wasn't me."
You rolled your eyes and licked your ice cream.
***
[Bestie] frowned and smacked the dashboard, "Damn fuckin radio keeps turning on. Ain't that some bullshit?"
You frowned, "Yup. I think I'm cursed. My radio keeps switching on too."
"Hun, the only radio you own is from the- ooooh... Yeah okay you might be yeah."
"Exactly."
"Welp, I guess it makes sense. He was a radio host."
"True."
Your hand traced over the edge of the tape in your purse. A frown held strict on your face.
"Yknow, you'll die alone if you keep this up."
You chuckled, "I'm gonna die alone regardless."
The smirk on [Bestie]'s face was replaced by a frown, "Hey now, that's not true. You're amazing. You won't die alone."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Proof."
"Well, hell, I'd date you if you asked me." [Bestie] chuckled and patted your head.
You rolled your eyes, "Riiight. I'll just marry you for those tax benefits, yeah?"
"Hey, I ain't complaining!"
You chuckled, "Right. Of course you wouldn't. Lonely bitch."
[Bestie] laughed, "Well excuuuuuuse me, Princess."
The both of you broke down laughing as [Bestie] parked in front of your house, "Alright, we're here, dork. Get on inside and get some sleep."
"Mhm. g'night."
"Bye, bitch~!"
You got out of the car and walked back up to your house with a grin. You had needed this.
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