Cassie
The cool air hit Emilia and I when we stepped outside the house to follow Justin and Liliana. Some might call me a crazy stalker girlfriend but I just had to do this. I just had to know why Justin would lie to me about such a thing and I had to comprehend why is was worth for him to go behind my back like that. Emilia and I were quiet and tried to be as careful as possible so they wouldn't catch us. Justin and Liliana were walking a few feet ahead of us, laughing and talking to each other the entire time.
To be honest, it hurt to the them together like this because at this very moment Justin could be with me but instead he decided to be with her and it just broke me inside. I asked him if I had to worry about her and he told me that I didn't have to but that looked I really had a lot to worry about.
Maybe it was my fault that they were together right now. Maybe it was me that drove him to meet up with her secretly because I didn't want him to be with her.
But what would he do if the roles were reversed? Wouldn't he be pissed off if I would meet another boy behind his back when he told me to stay away? I didn't think he would like that at all. So I had my reason to do what I did. He would probably freak out and go all mad. I knew him and how he was.
And what was I supposed to do when she practically told me that she was going to take Justin away from me? I had to do something and I couldn't just let her get what wants just like that but apparently I was doing something wrong because right now it looked like I was losing and she was winning the game. I knew that I had to come up with something else but what could I possibly do? I didn't want to tell Justin what to do and who to be friends with, I was not that type of girl but when it came to Liliana this was the only option but even that didn't seem to work and right now I felt defeated.
We were following their footsteps quietly, sometimes hiding behind trees, bushes and cars so that they wouldn't see us but at some point the two of them were too caught up in their conversation to notice us following them anyway. Eventually we followed them to a park that was really big and surrounded by trees. In the middle of it was a small lake, I could see the moonlight glistering on the surface of the water, and there were a few benches at that place and on one of them Justin and Liliana sat down. Emilia and I found a way to hide close to them, behind trees and from my position I could perfectly see both of them and heard them talking. Emilia was standing right beside me and she told me that now we really had to be quiet because if we did something wrong now we would definitely be caught and that wouldn't end up pretty so I leaned my body against the tree, trained my eyes on both of them and listened to their conversation.
"It really has been a minute since I have been here," Justin said as he looked around, taking in the environment around him.
"A minute? Justin it was like years ago," Liliana replied, chuckling lightly and shaking her head.
"Yeah you know what I mean dumbass," Justin turned his head to Liliana and laughed.
"Shut up Justin," she said and slapped his upper arm. They both laughed together for a while and then they both got silent for a few seconds before Liliana spoke up again. "This is were we first met," she acknowledged, looking ahead of her. I tensed at the new found information.
"Yeah I remember. Then we met again in Miami. That was such a coincidence," Justin puffed out a laugh and Liliana turned her head to him again and their eyes met.
"Or we are just meant to be," Liliana shrugged and Justin eyebrow shot up and his eyes narrowed. At that Liliana started laughing, "You know I'm kidding." Yeah right, I thought. She probably really thought that and that's why she was so determined to take him away from me. Justin shook his head and told her that she was crazy but she ignored that and asked her next question when her laughter died down. "Do you still go to the woods?"
I didn't know what she was talking about until Justin aswered her question. "Yeah, all the time when I'm angry I go to calm down there." My jaw dropped. Justin had lied to me. On our first date he had taken me to the woods and he told me that I was the first person he ever showed that place and the first girl he ever took. Looks like that was not true and it hurt because I remembered being so happy about being the first one to know but now it meant nothing.
"We had our first kiss there," Liliana said and smiled at him. I frowned because I never knew they ever had something. I already hated the woods so much because that's were Lia was shot and know that I knew that the two of them shared their kisses there made me hate that place even more.
"How the hell do you remember all that?" Justin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "It was years ago."
"I'm a girl, we remember all that stuff. Besides I liked you a lot back then and that's why I never forgot about it," she answered, shrugging her shoulders once again. I scoffed where I was shook my head.
"So much happend since then," Justin said and turned his head to look into the distance.
"Yeah and then I had to move away," Liliana sighed and looked at the distance as well just like Justin. "Do you sometimes wonder what would have happend if I never moved away?"
"I know that we would have gotten together," Justin said and I felt a pang of pain rush through my entire body. Emilia, who was standing beside me placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. I looked at her and I could see the pity in her eyes for me. "I mean we were practically together, we did all the things couples do but before we could make it official you were gone," Justin told her.
I didn't know how to describe how I was feeling right now. Like, he told me, when I asked him if he ever had something with her, that they never were together or had something. He said that to my face. Was lying to me so easy to him?
Leave, my subconscious said. You are going to listen to things you don't want to hear.
It was right. I should have left right then and I wanted to, I had heard enough but I couldn't move away. My legs were like frozen and didn't allow me to move an inch. So I stayed and listened to what they were saying which was not the best decision I had made.
"I hated it but we had a great time back in Miami you can't deny that," she answered him. Somehow I wanted to know what they did when they were together but on the other hand I didn't because it would probably hurt more than it did already.
"No I can't. Remember when you fell into the lake because you were running from a bee?" Justin said and burst out in laughter because of the memory.
"That was not funny," Liliana whined and pushed his away a little. Justin brought his lips in his mouth and pushed a fist against it so he wouldn't laugh out loud anymore. "Remember when you almost got your ass kicked from Daniel's dad because we stole the keys of his car and we actually wanted to drive away?" She asked, giggling lightly. So she knew my dad? And when she was so close to Justin how come I had never seen that girl? She was right in front of my face. Where have I been all that time? I really felt so damn stupid for not noticing a thing.
"I do remember. It was a month before their death," Justin said and the smile on his face faltered. Justin didn't like to talk about my parents because they were just like parents to him too and their deaths affected him a lot. Liliana noticed the sudden change of his mood so she began digging up more funny memories of their past until a smile came on his face again.
"Or do you remember when we had sex for the first time and it was the most awkward thing in the world because we were both virgins and had no idea what to do?" Liliana questioned and a laugh escaped her mouth. Emilia whispered oh shit next to me and my mouth was ajar. I knew that I was not Justin's first but the fact that she was it made everything just worse. How long had she been in his life and why her and not any other girl in this damn world?
"Please never remind me of that ever again," Justin chuckled, running his hand through his head. "It was horrible." I hoped that they would spare the details because that was something I didn't want to hear that at all.
"Yeah it was," Liliana smiled. "I'm glad that you were my first time."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes. You were almost my first everything. My first kiss, my first time, my almost first boyfriend, my first love and so much more," she said happily. We really had so much in common, who would have thought.
"You were my first love too," Justin blurted out. When my heart was not broken before it definitely was now. Just to hear this made me so damn sad. I had been in his life since he moved to Miami. I saw his every move. I knew that he never had a girlfriend before and that he just messed around with girls and I thought that maybe now that we were together I was his first love.
But I wasn't. Liliana was.
Now I certainly knew that she could get what she wanted if she tried harder. What do they say? First love never dies and that would be something she would always have over me. Since both of them were each others first love and Liliana was clearly not over Justin there could be a possibilty that he would leave me for her. She was going to win this. I mean she was prettier than me, she knew how to fight and handle gang business and more. She was everything I wasn't. Strong, independent and confident. I was just that little girl who ran away from home and who depended on her boyfriend.
I closed my eyes to prevent my tears from falling. Emilia took me in her arms and asked me if I was okay. I nodded even though inside I was breaking. I should have left earlier. Maybe then I would never know that I wasn't his first love but believing it would be okay with me.
"What?" Liliana asked in disbelief. Justin looked at her, realizing that he had said what he said out like but he looked like he didn't mean to say it.
"You heard me," he said and teared his gaze away from her.
"You never told me," she whispered sadly.
"I know. I couldn't because I knew that you were going away," Justin answered her but he was still not looking at her.
"But you should have told me. Things would have been so different," she said to him and went closer to him, grabbing his face in between her hands and making him face her.
"Different? How?" Justin questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I would have found a way to stay. I know it would have been a bit hard but I would have tried," Liliana answered frustrated.
"We were young Lily," Justin said and closed his eyes. "It doesn't matter now anyway."
"It matters to me, Justin," Liliana whispered. Justin didn't reply and they both looked at each other and then Liliana slowly began leaning in to kiss Justin.
I turned away immediately, "we have to go. Now." I said to Emilia and she nodded in understanding. We made our way out of the park and at this point I didn't care if they heard us or not. I just wanted to get out of there.
We walked down the street and I allowed the tears, that were so desperate to leave my eyes, to fall down my cheeks. I was not mad anymore that he had snuck out on me with Liliana. I was just sad that Justin looked me dead in the eyes and found it so easy to lie to me, twice, and he didn't even seem guitly about it.
He could be cheating on me right now or I meant enough to him to push Liliana away when she was close to kissing him. Either way I was hurt, confused and disappointed because of everything that I had heard tonight and I wished that I had stayed home. I wished that Emilia never heard them make plans about meeting tonight because if she never did I would be oblivious and I was rather oblivious than to feel what I was feeling right now and to almost see my boyfriend kissing another girl that also happend to be the girl I didn't like at all.
Why was this happening right now? Justin and I were doing so good and everything was fine but now she was getting in the way and I had honestly no idea what to do about it. She would never back off if I told her to and Justin? He was not really helping in this situation.
"We are here," Emilia snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't even notice that I was in thoughts all the way to the house. We walked through the gate after I put the code in and then we entered the house and went straight to her room. I went to the bathroom and washed the dried tears off my face and afterwards I changed into my pyjamas and went to bed. Emilia held me in her arms and kept telling me that it was going to be alright to make me feel better but alright seemed like so far away somehow.
But I tried to tell myself over and over again that for now, for this night, I would be okay.
Justin
Liliana and I were looking into each others eyes without saying a word while her hands were cupping my face. Our faces were dangerously close to each other and it didn't bother me and that was so wrong in so many levels yet I didn't do anything about it. Then she started leaning in slowly to see what I would do if she went further. I didn't move, I kept looking into her eyes until I heard a noise coming from the bushes.
"Did you hear that?" I asked her and she stopped from moving closer to me to look over to the bushes I heard the noise come from.
"Yeah but it was probably just an animal," she responded and then she brought her gaze back to me and looked into my eyes.
I laid my hand on top of hers, that were still resting on my cheeks and pulled them down to my lap. "We can't do this Liliana," I said to her, shaking my head.
"Why not?" she asked me, cocking her head to the side. I didn't know why she asked because she certainly knew the answer to that.
"You know exactly why," I answered and she sighed out of annoyance and rolled her eyes.
"Well then I will just wait until you break up with her," she shrugged and smiled afterwards.
"What makes you think that I'll break up with her?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. I was not going to break up with Cassie by any means. I had no reason to do so.
"Oh please, Justin. We both know that you would have kissed me back when those stupid birds or whatever had not interrupted us," she said to me.
I asked myself that. Would I have kissed her back? I mean I had a conscious and I was not stupid. I had a girlfriend and I didn't do cheating so no I wouldn't have kissed her back but that was not the answer I was going to give to her just to mess with her a bit.
"You'll never find out now, will you?" I smirked and put my elbow on my knee to support my chin on the palm of my hands.
Liliana, however, leaned her head so close to mine that I could feel her breath on my lips. "Maybe I should try to kiss you again," she whispered sexily and then she looked down to my lips and licked her own. I breathed out through my nose and right after I backed away from her so my face wouldn't so be close to hers anymore.
"No I'm serious. I'm not doing it," I said to her.
"Because you don't want to or because of her?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. She was not convinced that meant it when I said I didn't want to do it.
"Both," I answered quickly. If I wanted to kiss her I would have done it and I didn't.
"Yeah right," she scoffed and shook her head, looking away from me. I knew Liliana really good and I knew that she didn't take rejection well and that meant she was going to try harder, maybe not tonight but in the future she would and I had to be careful not to do anything stupid.
"Don't be mad," I ruffled her hair. "I bet there are plenty of boys who would like to kiss you." I teased. If there weren't any I would be surprised.
"Shut up Justin," she slapped my hand away from her head and I laughed. "You are annoying."
"Only to you," I smiled, winking at her.
Liliana chuckled and then she began talking about something else. We talked and talked and the time passed by and we didn't even notice how fast the time was going. I had missed this to be honest. When Liliana and I used to live in Miami I would always sneak out of forster care at night she would sneak out too so we could meet up just to talk all night long. She was still the same. She was totally funny and had a good sense of humor and she was just nice and so chill about everything and not to forget totally beautiful.
It was four in the morning when we decided to go back home. I had a really great time with her and all these hours had been amazing and I didn't regret it at all to go out with her like I thought I would. I had thought about what Cassie would say or do if she found out but she wouldn't and so I tried not to worry about that. But if she did I was going to see what I would do about it because I didn't want to fight and she had to understand that Liliana and I were just friends and nothing would change that.
Liliana and I walked down the dark streets of Beverly Hills that were illuminated by the lamps along the streets. It was a little bit windy outside and as we walked Liliana wrapped her arms around herself and complained about how cold it always was at night. I took off the jacket I was wearing and wrapped it arouns her shoulder because what kind of boy would I be if I didn't offer her my jacket at this situation? She looked up to me, smiling and thanking me and I told her that it was okay with me.
Ten minutes later we finally arrived at our property and we went through the gate and entered the house. Inside we didn't turn the light on and we were trying to be as quiet at possible because we didn't want to wake anybody up at this late (or early, that's how you see it) hour. Liliana gave me my jacket back and thanked me once again and I said to her that it was alright.
"So, I'm seeing you tomorrow?," she asked in a whisper. Even though it was dark I could still see her face because the moonlight was shining through the windows inside the hall we were standing in.
"Yeah," I answered her. "I really need to go to bed. I have to be up in like six hours." Despite of the good time I had tonight I still had to work in the morning and I'd rather pass but I had to make my money somehow, right?
"You should have let me know then we could have just met another day," she frowned at me.
"No it's alright, don't worry," I let her know. Six hours of sleep would be enough for me and there was always coffee. "I had fun tonight," I said honestly and smiled at her.
"Me too," she smiled back at me and tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear. "Now go to bed," she said, pushing me to the direction of the stairs a little.
"Okay," I chuckled and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to me to hug her. "Good night, Lils." I said, giving her the nickname I always gave her when we were younger and lived in Miami.
"Good night, Jay," she whispered back and wrapped her hands around me. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and then I let go of her after I watched her making her way to the other side of the house, I made my way to my bedroom.
I entered my bedroom and turned on the lights and saw that the bed was untouched and I remembered that Cassie told me she was going to stay with Emilia tonight. Somehow I wanted to go where she was just to look if she was alright and doing well but I decided against it because it was four in the morning and she might be sleeping right now and if she wasn't she was probably watching movies or doing other girls stuff with Emilia and I didn't want to interrupt them because they hadn't see each other for a while and they probably had to catch up on a lot. I would just see her in the afternoon.
I stripped off my clothes until I only had my boxers on because that was how I usualy went to bed and then I put the blankets to the side and laid down on the bed. I put the blankets over my half naked body and made myself comfortable underneath them. I didn't realize how tired I actually was until now because I was not walking around and talking to people. All day I had been doing something and now I finally had my time to rest even if it wasn't for that long. I closed my eyes and tried to let sleep come over me. After a while I fell into a deep slumber and at that night I dreamed of past memories, chilly october nights and eyes with the color of the ocean.