I unpacked my room in a hurry. And by unpack I mean that I cut open the wardrobe boxes and poured the contents on the floor. Something told me my typical 'alternative' style clothes would not fit the theme of a back to school dance. I dug through the pile of concert t-shirts and ripped jeans, wondering what the other people would be wearing. I decided it would be better to at least feel comfortable and wear something I liked.
It's not exactly the prom anyway, I thought to myself.
I opted for a pair of shorts and a band shirt that I had cut the neckline off of. The sleeves fell off my shoulders, so I put on a lacy camisole underneath. Most importantly, I put on my boots: my dusty, broken in, cowboy boots. I wore my favorite feather earrings, layers of beaded bracelets, and a butterfly necklace. I looked myself over in the mirror as I did my make up, simple winged eyeliner. With each step, I had hoped my outfit would give me some confidence. Worst case scenario, I make a fool of myself in front of these people and spend sophomore year being bullied even more than last year.
Freshman year was a hard one. I had finally settled myself in with a good group of friends. My grades were good. I was having fun. And the boy I had significant feelings for was reciprocating those feelings. For a minute, I felt like I was on top of the world. Even the people who teased me for no reason didn't seem to get to me as much. Until one day, someone decided to spread a rumor about me that cost me all of those. After my friends turned their backs on me, I fell into a depression. I wasn't able to motivate myself to complete any of my school work and finished the year with a few failed classes. Not long after that, I was told it was time to pack up and move. At first I was devastated, but then I thought a fresh start might be nice. A new school where I don't have a false bad reputation could be a good thing.
Maybe my mom was right after all.
We arrived at the dance just before 6 p.m. The sun was still up, and several kids lingered outside of the school with their friends. Thankfully, most people I saw were dressed casually and I wouldn't stick out completely. I hesitated to open the door. Procrastination ended when I heard the locks pop up.
"Mom's gonna be mad at us both if you don't get out." My dad encouraged gently.
He never quite knew how to connect with me, but he always tried. He and mom met in high school, and fell in love fast. Or so they said. I didn't know how much I believed the whole love at first sight thing. Nonetheless, it wasn't long after they graduated that my brother came along. My dad sacrificed a lot since then. He would have given anything to give his kids all the opportunities that he never had. This big fancy school was definitely one of those.
I lingered in the parking lot, watching my dad's muddy truck drive down the street and disappear behind the hills. This school was something like I have never seen before. It was an outdoor campus; a different building for each subject, with pathways lined with lockers painted in the school colors. There were large patches of soft green grass between each building as well. In the distance I could see a tall red fence, locked tight, protecting the athletic fields from the outside world. Manicured to perfection, there lay a large football field with metal bleachers built into the hill beside it. The brand new score board was illuminated from a distance by the massive lights of the baseball field. The diamond made of grass could have passed for a professional stadium. The dugout was bigger than most studio apartments, filled with private cubbies and custom gear, buckets of bubble gum and a fresh stock of sports drinks. The season was far from beginning yet the school's initials and mascot were painted in front of the pitches mound with great care. This must be a big source of pride for the whole school.
The heavy gymnasium doors swung open, parent volunteers waved for the kids to start moving inside. The tall wooden bleachers were pushed in against the wall, turning a basketball court into a dance hall. As I stepped onto the laminated floor, bass from the giant sound system filled my chest. I couldn't contain my smile, the music washed away my loneliness. I loved to dance.
The gym darkened as the sun outside began to set, I stepped into the array of disco lights. All my self conscious worries were drowned out by remixes of the most popular songs on the radio. I bounced and wiggled and let my arms sway above my head without a care. Before long, I was in the center of the crowd and was far from alone.
A little while later, it was time for a break. The back door of the gymnasium opened to a small courtyard. There was a fold out table in the center of it, covered in water bottles and allergy safe snacks. On either end of the courtyard was a wall of vending machines the faced the fence of the school's pool. I couldn't believe the school had a pool, much less the size of it. Above the water hung banners for the championship titles for the swim, high dive, and water polo teams. They really did not mess around when it came to sports here.
I had just cracked open a water bottle when a voice chipped out behind me, "You're new here right?"
"Oh, um, yeah. My family just moved here." I said awkwardly.
"Thought so!" She brushed at her long black hair with her hands. When she smiled, her dark almond shaped eyes squinted. The black circles still shined bright. She was wearing a black shirt that read 'Stu-Co'. She stuck her hand out proudly to shake mine, "I'm Ashely! Head of the sophomore student council. If you need help with anything, just find me or anyone else in Stu-co and we can help!"
I shook her hand, glancing at all the other students with matching shirts, "Awesome, thanks."
Off she went, practically skipping from person to person to say hello. I watched as she cautiously avoided a group of kids sitting on a bench in the corner of the courtyard. As Ashely walked past, her smile dropped. She exchanged glares with a boy before marching inside. Once Ashley was out of sight, the boy and his friends broke out in laughter. He adjusted his flat brim hat over his wavy blonde hair, and looked over at me. With a cocky grin, he nodded at me, gesturing to come over.
I shrugged and looked around me. Maybe he was talking to someone else.
He stood up, waving me over with an outstretched arm. I squeezed the plastic bottle in my hands, I had a bad feeling about this. I made my way over to the group.
"Aye," he spoke with an accent, "How's it going, newbie?"
"Fine. How are you?" I scoffed.
"How are you?" A girl in the group repeated mockingly. She laughed by herself, leaning her head back. Her fire truck red hair fell into the face of the guy whose lap she was seated on. He blew the hairs off his cheek and bounced her with his hips. She squealed playfully, reaching back to squeeze his thigh before getting up. She ran off, pulling another girl by the arm with her. They bumped into my shoulder as the went past, laughing together.
"That's Monica, and Sara. This is Nick, Eric, and T.P" the boy said, pointing to his friends.
"Like toilet paper?" I asked with a laugh.
His head dropped. He must've heard that joke a lot. The boys sitting beside him, pushed his shoulders playfully.
I gave a small wave, "Hey. I'm Stephanie."
"Cain." He said, patting his chest. I still couldn't place his accent. I looked him up and down quickly. He was wearing a thick jacket, surprisingly warm for late August. It looked like a wool flannel, with tan and blue plaid. Cain layered the coat over a stretched out tank top. The white shirt hung low on his chest, exposing just how much time he must have spent working out. His jeans were tight, black, and ripped on both knees. The most interesting part of his attire was his shoes: leather loafers painted a shockingly bright yellow, with thin blue laces. Everyone else in the crew seemed to be wearing variation of the same sneakers, making his shiny dress shoes stand out that much more.
I tried to hold in a laugh. I teased him, "Those are some shoes."
He smiled and rolled his eyes. Cain put his arm around my shoulders and told his friends we would be right back.
He led me back through the dance and out the front door. We meandered through the hallways. He asked about where I was from and I explained how often my family moved around. Cain told me that he had moved to this town a few months ago, it was just him and his dad.
"Dad got a job here as a teacher. I transferred in with only two weeks left in the semester. Talk about awkward." He laughed, kicking a wad of paper around the floor. He told me about how he started playing soccer when he was little, it was something his mom introduced to him and he still played for her. "Mum's still working overseas. We haven't talked in ages. She and dad separated last year. We came to the states to start over."
"Yeah, I get that." I mumbled watching him kick the paper towards a trash can. We heard the emcee call out that it was the last song of the night. Cain looked at me, nodding his head towards the gym with a wink. I smiled and took his hand, we ran back inside.
The music blared, the lights flashed, everyone crowded around the speakers to dance together. Cain stood close behind me, slowly guiding his hands onto my hips while I danced. I felt his hips sway. He pulled me closer turning me around to face him. His lips moved, but I could not hear a word he said. From the corner of my eye, I noticed his posse returned. Nick and T.P. held up their flip phones- lights flashing. If the wanted a picture, I thought I would give them something good: I hopped up on my tip toes, pulling his face towards mine and started to kiss him. I pushed my body against his, feeling his tongue brush against mine. Grinning under our kiss, I lifted my other hand towards his friends with my middle finger up. Cain copied me, the obscene gesture covered our faces while also thrilling the audience.
"Oh, shit!" Eric yelled from behind the other boys, before jumping into Cain.
Cain shoved him off, the two high fived and chuckled. I stood by myself, watching Cain wipe his mouth with the back of his sleeve.
The lights came on, and everyone slowly began exiting.
Waiting outside, the temperature had dropped yet again. Cain reemerged from the crowd, he put an arm around me from behind.
"We're going to a party at Monica's. You comin'?" He asked, looking down at his phone screen.
I shook my head, "My dad will be here any minute."
He kissed the side of my head and let go of our hug, "I guess I'll see you at school?"
I smiled again, watching him walk away. He and the boys climbed into an upperclassmen's car.
The crowd had mostly disappeared, only a few stragglers remained. I waited on a bench in the parking lot, no sign of dad's truck. Suddenly, I heard a scrape and a loud smack, followed by deep laughter. I decided to walk around the corner and investigate. A group of older boys huddled around the stairs with skateboards in hand. They looked completely content in each other's company. Each one testing tricks, and the other's copying. One boy sat on the railing, his board was longer than the others. He kept his headphones in- still smiling at his friends- he seemed far off on his own. I wondered what he was listening to. Maybe he was like me and felt lonely, even in a crowd.
Just then, I heard the motor of my dad's truck pull up. It was warm inside. As soon as I sat on those old leather seats, I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. Dad tried to make small talk about the dance, but my social batteries were drained. We rode home quietly, my thoughts swimming with the roller coaster of events in the last few hours. Was this what this school was going to feel like?