Client: Wabisabi_kn
Reviewer: Kailucy
Cover: 8/10
I like the vibe and the colors. The font isn't bad but could be better. Personally I think the cover could be more eye-catching but it is cute. I also don't feel like it completely goes with the story. The plot is a bit darker in my opinion and the cover doesn't really convey that. Based on the cover I was thinking it was going to follow a character going on a self-discovery journey or something closer to that, but instead the MC is looking for her missing sister. I feel like the cover should represent that a bit more.
Title: 9/10
The title is fine. It's simple and easy to recall. It fits the plot and overall vibe. I can't think of a better title, but I still feel like it could be a little more creative.
Blurb: 8/10
The blurb isn't bad but I feel like it could be improved. I tore it apart line by line.
Mia lived most of her life on the streets, alone. This line is good. It introduces Mia, the MC, and gives some backstory. She spent years searching for her sister who went missing the day her parents died. Once again this line is fine. It tells a lot in this line. Her sister was her lifeline, her biggest support, and she was not ready to just let her disappear. This is the part I feel could be better. I feel you could explain a little about how far Mia would go to find her and the challenges she'll face. That way it sets up the main plot and introduces the main conflict. I don't know exactly where you're planning to go with this story but you possibly even mention Leo.
That is only a suggestion but it would help the reader gauge whether they want to open up the book or not. The blurb doesn't need to be crazy long just hooking.
Characters: 8/10
The characters are interesting. There's still so much mystery around Leo's identity. I'm kinda thinking he's a cop or detective or something. Mia's character is tragic. I hope she finds her sister. The only thing is right now it's still so early in the book so it's hard to tell whether or not there will be development. Usually, I base this on where I think it will go, like if I see some strings that could be pulled to give the character some development but as of now, I didn't see anything. I'm guessing Leo and Mia will probably get closer. Mia might find her sister. But those things aren't really "development" for characters. Other than that I think the characters are interesting and I'm definitely rooting for Mia. Just be sure that you have some sort of character arc for her planned.
Plot: 18/20
The plot is great. It's paced well and kept my attention. Something happens in every chapter and chapter three had a great cliffhanger.
The prologue starts off strong. The beginning line is good and the rest of the chapter raises questions while also being informative.
Chapter One: Lovely start. Great way to introduce Mia. I love the way paragraph three is written.
Chapter Three: Stranger Danger! Ooh, he reads. I like him. Boy! Why is the book upside down? I changed my mind I don't like him anymore.
Chapter Four: ugh of course someone's recording.
I want to know more about the guy.
Chapter Five: Okay, he's got a name.
Writing style: 19/20
I really enjoy your writing style. It's simple and easy to follow along. It's addictive.
Also, was this written after Seret? If so, you've improved so much!
If you wanted to continue to improve I'd recommend longer chapters. They don't need to be super long but just a little longer would be great. More descriptions would also be great. Otherwise, your writing is good.
Grammar/spelling/vocabulary:9 /10
Strength is spelled wrong in chapter four, paragraph four.
"She had lost all control" to keep it in the past tense.
"Fascinating"
Enjoyment: 10/10
I really enjoyed this. The plot kept my attention and I like how mysterious Leo is. I want to know more about him and Mia. I'll most likely continue reading.
Overall: 89/100
Overall, you have a good story. Of course, there's always room for improvement but I feel like you're improving already so I do not doubt that you will continue to improve. Mia is a great MC and Leo is a great supporting character. The plot is good and your writing style is a pleasure to read. Keep writing!