And that's it. That's my story. That's our story. Shawn wasn't around long enough to write his own, but that's what I'm here for, right? I hope the ending I chose was a good one, and that Shawn would be happy with it.
And I've started a garden. Sure, it may be on the windowsill of my college dorm room, and yeah, I may not water them everyday, but they are beautiful. Shawn taught me that even the world's most happy people get sad, and that the most beautiful people are often the most broken.
He taught me that sometimes it's okay to be smart in a situation, that you don't always have to be strong. And for those things I thank him. And not a day goes by where I don't think about him and his chapped lips, how they would curl into a crooked smile when I did something stupid. The moments when he was smiling were always my favorite.
Since I was born I thought I wanted a functional family: a mom that was home to care for the kids, and a dad who gave a shit. But upon meeting Shawn I've come to realize I never wanted any of those things. I wouldn't change my family for anything. I love my siblings to death, and my mother may not always be home but she's blood, and my dad is, too.
What I really wanted was for Shawn to be happy with himself. I wanted to give him the gift of looking in the mirror and liking what he saw. I wanted to give him the strength to throw away the blades because he didn't need them. I wanted to give him my happiness, and there wasn't a lot to go around but he was worth it.
And now? I'm living my life to the fullest. I'm getting my degree, majoring in photography- I finally got a good camera. Tony bought it for me before I left the house for New York. It's pixels are great, and though I do miss my polaroid sometimes, I'm content.
I hope Shawn's happy. Because I'm happy.
the end
Gracie smiles to herself as she looks over her journal carefully. She flips through every page to make sure none of the polaroids she included hang crooked, and that they all have enough tape. Gracie doesn't believe in perfection, but she wants this book to get as close as possible.
The door to her dorm opens and her roommate, Ade, enters with a smile on her face. "Hey, you want to get dinner and then see that new movie that came out? The one about the two kids becoming friends all because of a garden? Everybody in the lounge is going. They all think the movie is going to be a big hit."
Gracie shuts her book and places it carefully in the corner of her desk, right next to her polaroid camera and pressed flowers. "Sure. I'll be out in a second." Ade nodded at Gracie and left the room quietly, going back to wait with the other girls in the lounge.
As Gracie rose from her chair and walked over to the headboard over her bed, she pursed her lips and prepared herself to speak. "Happy anniversary. I miss you." These were the words she stated to the single photo of Shawn she had kept for herself. Gracie didn't dare put in the novel she'd written. This photo was all hers, nobody else's; it was her garden boy.
THE END
funeral boy is over and so is my life
i will post extra chapters and things that didn't make it into the final cut
love u all
look forward to my new stories!!!