I'm so sorry for the mishap, my darlings!! Here the proper chapter ♥
⸻
The car stops in front of my building, and Lex turns off the ignition. I'm in a strange state of mind, between the euphoria of the sale and the numerous glasses of Champagne and Bourgogne. I feel light and untouchable, like nothing can get to me.
But I'm also thin skinned, because I just spent twenty minutes in absolute silence with Lex right next to me. This tension within me every time he's around is exhaustingly draining. Especially since today was a long day, and nearly all of it was with him.
I stay there for a few seconds, unsure how to break the silence. If I could, I'd get out of the car without a word, but that would be rude as hell. "Thank you for the ride, again," I tell him, keeping my eyes upfront. "And thank you for making sure my car gets home. I'll pay you back on Mond--"
"Don't worry about it," he cuts me.
I don't insist, but I will still repay him. "Sorry for drinking too much. I was anxious, and it got the best of me."
"It's fine."
Now is a good time to say goodbye and exit the car. I should do that, but a part of me doesn't want to go. The part that has me twisting my fingers and hesitating. This man does things to me. Things I refuse to accept, things I can't comprehend, things I don't want to be feeling. This handsome, arrogant man, whom I desire more than I ever desired anyone else, is bringing me to the brink of insanity.
Maybe it's the liquid courage, maybe it's the way he was today... But I feel the urge to voice what's been on my mind all day. "I know you don't like me because I annoy you and all. But I really appreciate what you did for me, and how you made sure I wasn't getting scammed. I would have made mistakes otherwise. So, thank you, Lex, for helping me out regardless of our differences."
I find the strength to meet his eyes for the last part, sensing my heart in the back of my throat. I'll never understand how that man can have so much power over me. Gray is a cold color, but right now, Lex's eyes are only spreading heat within me. So. Much. Heat. My resilience, my will, my resistance... They all melt when he looks at me like that.
"You don't annoy me," he says after several seconds have passed. Then, he adds, "You frustrate me."
"Because I'm annoying," I feel compelled to insist.
"No."
The two letters make me lose all notions of time or surroundings. All I can see is Lex and his fiery gaze. My heart is beating harder and faster with every second that passes. I'm so overwhelmed by my own feelings that it takes me a while to register what I'm actually seeing in his own eyes.
Conflicted need.
Want.
Desire.
No, this is the wine talking. There's no way the Alexander Colemans of this world could want an Andrea Walker. He's a god among us, and my closest celebrity doppelgänger is Dora the Explorer.
I need to go before I do or say something stupid. My lips part, to utter a goodbye, and the gesture catches his gaze. Right there, I get my answer. His pupils dilate until there's only a thin ring of dark gray surrounding them. If actions or words can be hard to interpret, biology isn't.
Kate was fucking right. She saw something I was too blind and clueless to notice. This whole thing isn't as one-sided as I thought. Alcohol knocked down the voice of reason supposed to counterbalance my irrational thoughts, because nothing comes up to contradict them.
I can't recall why I'm resisting this so hard. Not when he looks at me like that. That's probably why the rest unfolds the way it does.
I tilt toward him hastily, only to be painfully reminded of the seatbelt, which I unbuckle with a curse. This time, he's already halfway there when I reach for his nape.
With a brutality that shows our impatience, our mouths collide.
The moment our lips touch, everything else fades. It's as though I've waited months for this, years, instead of mere weeks. The shiver that runs through my entire body to end between my legs is indescribable. With my hand still on his neck, I pull him harder, tilting my head to the side to adjust the angle of our kiss.
I vaguely hear the clicking sound of a seatbelt being undone, and then he turns to face me better. His hands reach for me soon after, one on my waist, and one on the back of my head, and he eagerly draws me closer, despite the console separating us.
The warm, silky touch of his tongue grazes over my lips, and it sends another one of those mind-blowing shivers all the way to my core. A moan escapes my mouth as I unlock my jaw to give him the access he demands. Soon, he's invading me, his tongue demanding and voracious. My fervor equals his, and in an instant, we're battling to sample each other.
One month of unsatisfied needs and built-up frustration is unleashing at once. The dam is broken.
It's all so overwhelming and I'm burning inside out, but I still need so much more. A helpless moan travels from my mouth to his as I try to get closer to him, to feel more of him, but the wide middle console prevents it. I want his body pressed against mine, and I want it now.
As if I actually expressed my needs out loud, his hand reaches for my thigh, under my dress' hem, and with impressive strength, he pulls me over the separation and onto him. I focus on keeping our kiss going as he maneuvers me on his lap until I'm straddling him. Hoisted up like this, our faces are perfectly aligned, and I can enjoy him more thoroughly.
His hands are now moving up and down my body, caressing my naked back, apparently as greedy as I am to feel more. Framing his handsome face, I devour him, giving him the boldest kiss I ever gave anyone. My tongue is shamelessly licking, exploring the convoluted warmth of his mouth, greedily taking everything.
I get lost in our kiss, feverish and dizzy. Starved for more, I eagerly press my throbbing core against him to find some relief. With only a thin layer of lace shielding me, my pussy might as well be directly on him.
Oh, my... Someone is as aroused as I am, and that someone has to be hiding a baseball bat in there.
This is far beyond any expectation I might have had, so much more than all the fantasies I had of him. Even with my sparse knowledge and little experience, I know Alexander Coleman is divine at this. He's as restless as I am to feel more, to taste more, to get more, but he isn't taking control, nor is he impassive under me. We share the moment. I could kiss him like this for hours, bending to the will of his lips, melting every time his expert tongue grazes mine in lascivious touches.
How many women has he kissed to become this good? How many hours of it for me to be so entranced?
Somehow, I refuse to be just one more of these women. I'm far from being the first, and I most certainly won't be the last. But still, I can leave a mark. I'm not sure how I can upgrade my kissing game, but I can try.
With his wet lower lip between my teeth, I gently pull on it, biting just hard enough to make him groan without actually hurting him. When I release him, he looks at me with heavy eyelids, his cheekbones reddened by our passionate embrace. My face is probably even more flushed, my skin burning from the madness of it all.
I'm bolder than I've ever been when I bend forward to follow the outline of his lush lips with the pointed tip of my tongue. Whenever he tries to kiss me, to make me stop taunting him, I refuse him, anchoring my resistance on the seat behind him. His hand reaches for my nape, and he pulls me down to him, but I counter his will once more. I want to make him beg for it.
But when he fists a handful of my hair and pulls on it harshly, I'm the one about to beg.
"Aah, fuck," I moan, shivering from head to toe and pressing myself harder onto him. I'm sopping wet already, and the electric pain it unleashes only makes it worse.
"Andrea," he growls threateningly.
That's begging, isn't it? I decide it is.
My proud smirk when I retake his lips quickly fades. My little teasing did its trick a little too well. There's no more holding back on his part. But it's okay, because I want more. I need all of it.
A primal need, the most basic of instincts, takes over my brain. Shamelessly, I slowly undulate on his lap, pressing myself at a measured pace over the hard shape at his groin. This part of me is begging for satisfaction, and I'm too inebriated to deny myself this. I can feel with incredible intensity each ripple, each fold of the thick fabric of his pants, and it's driving me insane.
My audacity rips another groan from him, and a sudden burst of pride encourages me to keep going. His hands move up my bare outer thighs, beneath the dress, before settling firmly on my behind. Because I'm wearing a thong, they rest directly on my skin, igniting yet another lustful shiver in me.
I can feel the calluses on his skin when his fingers dig into the malleable mounds. His powerful hands help and guide the rolls of my hips, carrying part of my weight. We're fucking all dressed, and neither of us seems to care that we're in a car, out in the street, or that he's my boss and I'm his employee, or that we normally can't stand each other.
We're drowning in a misty haze of lust, and nothing can break through it.
Why would it matter when I can almost feel his shaft pulsate under me? I'm so damned wet that I know he must feel it through his pants. Overwhelmed, I stop kissing him in a feeble attempt to regulate my oxygen influx. His mouth drops to my throat, nibbling at the delicate skin, hungrily devouring me, his hands still pressing me onto him in rhythm.
The only thing I can think of is how easy it would be to actually fuck him. His zipper down, my thong crammed to the side, and then a long, deep, and maddening thrust.
Am I mad for actually considering it? I have an IUD and I'm clean. If he's clean too, then what's holding us back?
One of his hands moves up to my front to fondle my tit, sending spikes of lust straight to my throbbing core. Under his touch, my nipple hardens like a diamond, and he then pinches it between two fingers, just roughly enough to make me release a soft plaint, half-cry, half-moan.
I need this man's dick inside me. Now.
Determined, I reclaim his lips and lift myself, hands flying between us to unbutton his pants.
I'm doing this. Doing Lex. Fuck, yes...
My hands are still battling with his belt when Alexander understands what I want. He freezes under me, his grip tight on my hips. "I'm on birth control, and I'm clean," I breathe against his lips.
The buckle gives way, and I slide the leather belt out of it, moving on to the button. His hands are clutching my ass, his mind still calculating.
"Are you sure about this?" His voice is altered by passion, just like mine, and the roughness of it makes my intimate flesh throb around emptiness. Delirious, I let out a moan, resuming my undulations.
"No... But I need it," I rasp. Just in case it's not enough, I savagely thrust my tongue between his lips, robbing him of his ability to think.
That seals the deal, and his own hand moves between us. But instead of his pants, his fingers travel against the drenched fabric of my underwear. The light touch sends all sorts of sparks up my body, making me tremble on top of him.
His low, guttural groan vibrates against my tongue. He pulls away, enough to gaze at me while his fingers trace a firmer path up my lace-clad slit. "You're fucking soaked."
I nod, my head spinning helplessly. When he presses a deft fingertip on my clit, I buckle and curse. "Shit, Lex... I need you inside me."
He abandons me in favor of his pants, using his second hand as well. The button popping is like music to my ears, and so is the dry sound of his zipper being pulled down. He lifts himself a little, me with him, and attempts to lower down his slacks.
The loud sound of someone hitting the car's roof resonates, straddling us both. "Woo-hoo! Yeah, man! Hit that pussy!" a man screams outside.
It stops me more efficiently than a bucket of icy water would have, and I rip myself from Lex. When I do, the steering wheel painfully digs into my back as I accidentally hit the car horn. A small cluster of very drunk students is passing next to the Mercedes, and the honking attracts their attention. The man who yelled is already done with us, but a few others take glimpses inside the vehicle.
My attention remains on them until they are a few yards down the street, my heart pulsing in my ears. When I look at Lex, he's glaring at the students, but then he turns back to me.
We stare, both unsure what to do now. He's temptation incarnate, with his lips swollen, his eyes ravenous...but the moment is gone. Shame, remorse, and reality hit me at once.
I almost fucked my boss. I begged for it, even.
A nauseous feeling churns my stomach, and I have the urgent need to get out of his car, away from his lap, far from him.
"Andrea, I--"
"Don't," I stop him, reaching for the handle.
The next ten seconds are some of the most embarrassing ones of my life, trying to exit both his lap and the car with as much dignity as possible. As soon as I'm in the cool air, I take a few wobbly steps away from the car, rearranging my dress, trying to calm my nerves and make the nausea pass. I hear him take care of his pants and step out too, but I keep my back to him.
Holy fucking shit. What the hell was that? What did we do? He's my boss. This can't be happening. Fuck!
"Andrea," he tries again, his hand grazing my shoulder.
I shrug it away and face him. "No. Don't say anything. This never happened. We're drunk, tired, and it got the best of us."
His eyes darken. Not from desire this time. "Right. The wine did it," he responds with sarcasm.
I stand my ground, holding my frame straight. "Yes, of course."
There's something dangerous in the stormy anger of his eyes. Without another word, he returns to his car, bends inside, grabs something, and comes back with my bag, passing an exasperated hand through his hair. With a dry gesture, he hands it to me.
"There you go. Goodnight, and sorry the wine made you assault me."
I squint my eyes at him but don't say a thing as he walks back to his car. Halfway there, he changes his mind, spinning my way again. "I'm not intoxicated, Andrea, or I wouldn't have driven you home." Then, after a few seconds of hesitation, he's gone for good, slamming the door behind him and getting off with his tires screeching on the asphalt.
Long after his car disappears into the night, I'm still there, holding my bag in front of me. I don't know how to fucking cope with what happened, but mostly, I don't know what to make of his admission.
It's all a drunken mistake for me, but for him...it isn't?
I'll have to share an office with the man, knowing we were ten seconds away from fucking each other's brains out. I'll have to sit next to him, aware that he almost filled me with his dick--raw at that. And I'll have to do this, knowing he was in full control of his capacities. He wanted it.
And as much as I wish I could deny it, I wanted it too--alcohol or not.
What is wrong with me?!
With a desperate whimper, I eventually move to my building and go up to my apartment in a sour mood. Once I'm in my room, I see Kate's sleepy form on my bed, tucked under the covers. Like a fucking idiot, I accidentally slam my shin in the corner of my bed, waking her up.
"Deedee, is that you? What time is it?" her sleepy voice asks as she reaches for the lamp on her nightstand.
"Shh... It's late, go back to sleep."
Light floods the bedroom regardless, and fuck my life, because I know exactly what her drowsy eyes are seeing right now. I look like I just had sex, even though I didn't.
"Shut up," I order in anticipation. "Don't say it. Don't even think about it. Just go back to sleep."
"Well, at least I know you didn't get laid, or you'd be more relaxed."
As I gather what I need for the shower, she sleepily adds, "Did he slip and his tongue ended up down your throat?"
"You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, Katherine."
"I'm hilarious. You're just too frustrated to appreciate it. And take Idris with you. I don't want you to hump me during the night."
"Fuck you," I say as I head to the door with my stuff.
"I love you too."
Once I'm in the bathroom, I avoid my reflection in the mirror. I strip, throw the dress in the laundry basket, and wince at how sticky my thong is. Lex definitely left with my arousal smeared on the front of his pants.
I hop in the shower stall, eager to erase all the traces of him from my body. My moves are practical and efficient, soaping and scrubbing. They become more delicate when I reach the space between my legs. The simple gesture of my hand wiping away the wetness gathered there sends jolts of pleasure through my spine. Fuck, taking Idris with me wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Feeling like a hypocrite, I close my eyes and think of him.
We're back in his car as I relive the exact moment we were interrupted. Except this time, the drunk group never passes by, and no one stops us from continuing.
In my fantasy, he opens his pants and wiggles them down just enough to free his cock, which juts out with enthusiasm. Imaginary-Andrea seizes it, pushes her panties to the side, and then slowly comes down on him, impaling herself on this sinfully hard flesh. I shiver against the cold tiles of the shower, imagining myself bouncing up and down his dick, bracing my arm against the roof of the car to take all of him, gazing into his darkened irises..
With my eyes still closed, I bite my lip and intensify the rhythm of my fingers, feeling the tension build up inside of me. Back in my fantasy, he undoes the tie at my neck to pull down the upper part of my dress while I keep fucking him at an increasing momentum. I can still remember with accuracy the sensation of his hands on my breast, the way he gently pinched its taut tip. In my fantasy, though, he bends down to take my nipple in his warm mouth.
My climax takes me by surprise, exploding before I can envision the imaginary couple reaching theirs. I tremble and jolt, holding back my moans as I find my release. It's good, it's powerfully exquisite, even.
But the sweet ache of it isn't enough. Not even close.
And when I open my eyes, the cold light of the bathroom harshly throws me back into the reality of my situation, and all of that pleasure goes down the drain with the water washing over me.
I'm alone. Terribly so.
And on Monday, I'll be with him. But not in the way I crave, because I love this job too much to risk it over sex.
Not even sex with him.