Author's Note: Just wondering how many people are still reading this fic. :)
~ Amina Gila
Anakin hasn't seen the vision again by the next morning, but it's still replaying through his mind when he slips outside, partly to check the perimeter of the base, partly just to... get some air and try meditating. He needs to know how to find them if the Empire has them.
It's beautiful out here in the early morning, though that's hardly something he can appreciate right now. He hears a quiet rustling in the grass behind him. Glancing up, he sees Padme approaching him.
"You okay?" Padme asks, eyeing him as she takes a seat in the grass.
"The others were captured. I can sense it," he replies, quietly, "I have to find them."
"You can sense those things?" she inquires, eyes widening the slightest bit. "You're certain?"
"I saw it. I just don't know where they are." At least Padme is safe, but that doesn't do much to lessen his worry over the others.
Her expression tightens. "Is there anything we can do?"
"Usually, when I start having visions, they keep happening. If they cannot escape on their own, I will have more." Of that, he's certain, but that doesn't mean he likes the waiting.
Padme nods, and they fall into a brief silence, though he can feel her worry. "Have you eaten anything?" she inquires, finally.
He shakes his head, mutely. Doesn't really have the mental space to think about that right now.
"I can get you something," she offers.
"That's not necessary," he assures.
"We could always get something off the trees," she muses, standing and approaching one of the trees. Its branches hang low to the ground, and it has a small number of edible fruit.
Anakin can't quite resist the urge to reach out with the Force, pulling the fruit Padme's trying to pick off with the Force, making it hover just above her hand. She yelps, trying to catch it, and he hastily floats it out of her reach.
Yes, that is an entirely inappropriate use of the Force.
But it's not like Obi-Wan is here to scold him, and nor is Ahsoka here for him to be a bad example too.
"Stop that!" Padme says, though she sounds like she's about to start laughing.
"Stop what?" he asks, innocently.
"That!" she huffs when he carefully floats the fruit out of her reach again.
He laughs and so does she.
"Fine, why don't you pick the rest of these with the Force?" she suggests.
"That... technically is not an appropriate use of it," he replies, finally dropping the fruit into her hands.
"Appropriate?" Padme queries, a little surprised, though still mostly amused.
"Master Obi-Wan always said we should never use the Force for trivial things," Anakin explains.
"It's still strange to imagine him being a Jedi."
"He was once here, too."
"So I've heard." She picks a few more fruit, before coming back to join him. The... distraction is momentary, but at least he feels a little more able to eat right now.
"What was he like?" Padme asks.
Obi-Wan was so many things, Anakin doesn't even know how to go about describing him. "He... was the best Jedi I ever knew. We might have... struggled sometimes, but he was always there. He took care of me. He raised me. He's the closest thing I've ever had to a father."
"Being against him must be... hard."
Anakin nods. "It is, but it's not him. He doesn't remember me." He doesn't want to think about Obi-Wan at all right now. It's... the rest of his family that he needs to focus on, even if he craves nothing more than to find Obi-Wan and ask what to do, because he needs to go home, but he doesn't know where to start looking right now.
"I can't imagine what it would be like to... be around someone who was your family, but they don't know you here," Padme comments, quietly.
"It's hard, but I'll make it home," Anakin promises, "I'll find a way."
Padme's expression doesn't change, but he feels the way her presence flickers in the Force, dimming. She's... not happy about that?
"What is it?" he queries.
"It sounds silly," she admits with a laugh, "But you're one of the first friends I've had, and I'll miss you."
Anakin steps closer to her, taking her hands. Her eyes are dark, and bright, and it's almost amusing how frequently it feels like he's seeing people for the first time recently. Because he is. He's seen her every time he sees her, but he's never... seen her before. She's right that she's... a friend. A close friend, maybe... maybe more.
"I'll miss you, too," Anakin tells her. "Sometimes, I don't know how I'll leave when the time comes." Which is part of why he tries not to dwell on it. It would be hard to walk away from this reality, seeing what it's like here, but he still has a family. People who need him. That doesn't mean he wants to leave this one, either.
"I wish you didn't have to go," she admits, her grip on his hands tightening, "But I... understand it. Your family is there. Just like my sisters aren't here." She'll have to leave eventually too, he knows, but that doesn't stop what he... wants.
"Me too," Anakin whispers, leaning closer. "I – I wish I could... stay. I wish we could..." His heart is hammering, demanding that he lean closer, that...
He'd say it's impulsive, but most of what he's done is impulsive. Anakin leans closer, kissing her. Padme pulls him closer, holding him.
He feels shy about it, because he's never done it before, and Anakin knows what it means, knows what he wants, but... that comes with so much.
Padme is the first to pull back, resting their foreheads together, breathing in shakily. She pulls back, blinking a few times, looking almost freaked out.
"I'm sorry," Anakin blurts out, half-panicked. "I didn't mean to –"
"It's fine," Padme promises, "It's just that I – I know what this means, and I can't deny what I want, but it's just not... possible."
"Why?" Anakin asks, and he knows what she's saying, but it still hurts.
"You have to go, and I can't go with you," Padme says. She's touching his arms though, and he wants to pull her into an embrace and never let go, terrified of this family fading away as his last one did. Anakin doesn't think he'll ever stop fearing that.
"We can find a way to make it work," Anakin tries, "I don't want you to have to choose."
"No," she argues with a slight shake of her head, "That's not fair to you. You have a home, Anakin, and I might want you here, but I cannot ask you to leave them. You have people there, and I... I've always put my sisters ahead of everything else. We've only ever had each other."
She's – she's right, even if it hurts. Anakin nods a little, sighing. "I know. I – it's just hard. I want to live. Being a Jedi is... hard. I didn't know what it would mean when I let Tatooine. I didn't know I'd have to relinquish all familial ties – that is all I have ever wanted. A family. A place to belong."
"I think you already have that," Padme says quietly.
"Not that. Not – this. Not – not you."
"I've wanted to settle down for years, too," Padme confesses, "It just all seemed so unreal to me. Sola is married already. She has children. I – I've seen her family. I want that. I've just been so... busy, and it always seemed so impossible. My children would have to grow up on the run. It's not fair to them. To either of us."
She's right – it does hurt, but he wants her to... not regret the decision they make. He doesn't want to do something that could hurt the children he ever has, and he's admittedly thought about that far more than marrying itself, though Ahsoka probably has something to do with that. He already raised one child. One of... his own flesh and blood would be different, of course, but still.
"I understand," Anakin tells her, even if he hates to. "No one should have to live the lives we have. Certainly not them." But that she actually wants it, it – soothes something in him, but that's selfish. He shouldn't want her to be hurt. She is, though. They both are. This is the one thing Anakin genuinely has no idea how to work out. He doesn't even know how he could.
They belong in different realities. Their... friendship is only temporary. It will never be permanent, nor could be, and he is never going to ask her to leave her family and her life. He can't leave his own, either.
It feels like whatever lightness previously settled over them is gone now, replaced by a dimness that Anakin always tries not to focus on. He can't leave Qui-Gon and Ahsoka, or Asajj behind, either, but he won't ask Qui-Gon to leave this life. To leave Obi-Wan.
Still – he can't help wondering.
And worrying, because someday, they will all have to choose. The most he can do is hope he'll find a way to work this out, and for maybe the first time in his life, Anakin feels entirely lost. This is one thing he will have to do on his own.
***
Asajj's cries echo through his mind again, along with a brief flash of Ahsoka, held somewhere in a dark, red-tinted room. A cell somewhere. It's late evening on the planet, wherever it is. The ground is rocky, and Anakin can see glowing dots of light in the sky – asteroids, if he had to guess.
It's the middle of the night when Anakin jolts awake. The vision was hardly clear, but it's still something to work with. They're being held on a planet somewhere, not on a ship so it should be easier to locate.
He pulls up a galactic map, pulling up the sector right around Mustafar. It's the most reasonable place to expect them to be.
Atravis is the first to catch his attention. Something about it feels right, and it's along the same major hyperspace route as Mustafar.
A quick glance at what the planet is like tells him everything he needs to know. It looks exactly like the brief flash he caught of it in his vision. That's where they are, and he needs to go there now.
After – after he and Padme talked, he feels even worse about leaving, but he doesn't have a choice. "I know where they are," Anakin tells her, "I've sensed it. I must leave."
"I'll come with you," she offers immediately.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Anakin replies, shaking his head, "This could easily be a trap, and if something were to go wrong, I don't want to risk you being captured by the Empire again." He's aware going on his own is risky, but the Rebellion doesn't have resources to provide anything more. And likely, they won't believe him, either. They don't know or respect him enough to trust him yet, and this mission is completely... it's not based on anything. He's going by his senses alone.
"I don't want to risk you, either," Padme argues, "I already... I already lost my family. I don't know what happened to them, or if they're still alive."
"I'll take Artoo," he offers, "We'll make it back. I promise." It feels lame, but he means it. He'll be back soon.
"Be careful," she breathes, stepping closer, and Anakin pulls her into a tight embrace. She returns it just as tightly, and he... just holds her for a few moments, wishing for – for everything they both already know they won't be able to have.
"I'll be back," he promises again when he lets go. He can feel Padme watching him, as he and Artoo head for a fighter. It's risky to go in alone, but maybe it'll help him get in and out without anyone noticing him.
Maybe.
But for some reason, he doesn't think things are about to go that smoothly.
***
There's an Imperial base on Atravis, so it isn't hard to guess where to go. Anakin lands his fighter a distance away where he hopefully won't be spotted before he goes in on foot. Lost Familiar is probably in the hangar here, so they can make a fast escape there. He doesn't really want to lose the ship even if it's silly because it's just a ship. It's just... the place that holds all the memories of... everyone here, really. He doesn't really get attached to places – home is wherever his family is – but still.
Anakin scouts around the perimeter to get a feel for the guards' positions before he sneaks up to a back entrance, Force-throwing the two guards standing outside the door into the wall hard enough to knock them out. Pulling them away from the entrance into the nearby bush where no one will see them, he darts in the back entrance, Artoo close behind.
He moves silently through the halls, dodging any patrols when he can. Taking the elevator to the lower levels without being seen is harder, but he manages it.
The doors hiss open, revealing a squad of clones right outside the detention center.
So much for being unnoticed.
Anakin starts firing stun blasts at them before they even have the chance to register that he's there – two of them go down, but the other three draw their own blades, shooting back at him. Live fire.
He ducks back into the elevator as a shot nearly takes off his head,
An alarm starts blaring a moment later.
Now the entire station is going to be on top of them in minutes. He has to get out fast. Igniting his lightsaber again, he steps back into the room, deflecting the clones' shots away – careful not to hit any of them – as he throws the first two into the wall hard enough to stun them. Artoo rolls up behind the third, zapping him into unconsciousness.
Anakin winces – he knows just how unpleasant that is. The droid was just trying to help, though.
Artoo rolls to the computer to plug in and figure out who's here when Anakin suddenly senses something else.
The Dark Side.
No.
Obi-Wan.
He can feel the familiar dark Force presence nudge his mind. Obi-Wan knows he's here, and he's going to be coming for him. Anakin doesn't doubt that. And he is not ready to face him again. But he's not going to have a choice, or Obi-Wan will come right out here and stop the others from escaping.
The only thing Anakin can do is try to distract him while the others have the chance to get out – and preferably lead the inevitable confrontation away from the detention block. "Artoo? Can you get the others out on your own?" he asks, urgently.
The droid whistles.
"Alright. As soon as they're out, go for the ship. I'll catch up. The Sith is here. I need to slow him down." He spins and runs, leaving Artoo to deactivate the doors. He needs to move, because there's no way Obi-Wan doesn't know this is where he'll be headed.
Was this intentional? Was this a trap? Anakin can't help but wonder suddenly, because he didn't expect Obi-Wan to be here when he came, even if he's not really surprised, either. He knew it would only be a matter of time before his – before Obi-Wan tracked him down again. Obi-Wan might not remember him, but they are still... important to each other. That, at least, hasn't changed.
He's made it a few halls away from where the cells are when Obi-Wan steps into view.
"Anakin." His mask is on, so Anakin can't see his face, but something about the tone doesn't have the same coldness he was speaking with before. "I know what you're here for."
Of course, he does. "If you're trying to find the new rebel base, they don't know where it is."
"No, that's not what I'm after. Not right now." He takes a few steps closer, and Anakin tenses instinctively, hand moving for his lightsaber though he doesn't draw it. He doesn't know what to expect after last time. Obi-Wan hurt him, even if he was only doing it for information. Not just... because. Doesn't mean that there's a part of him that whispers that he should have nothing to fear because this is Obi-Wan and he's always taken care of him, but then he remembers last time, and he doesn't even know what to think anymore. "I'm here for you."
Him? This was a trap directly set for him? It's... not really a surprise, considering how much the Empire was going after him in the first place, but
"Me?" Anakin repeats, "What do you want with me?"
"You knew me, from... wherever you are from," he replies, and Anakin can feel the intensity of his gaze.
He – wait.
He saw that in Anakin's mind. That's how he knows about it. Anakin doesn't really know what to think of that – he doesn't much want to think about the feel of that familiar Force presence pressing against his mind, trying to invade it, ever again. "Yes, I did." His heart rate picks up a little. "You were... my master. You were a Jedi." And you were the best one there was, and I have no idea how you've become like this. But he won't say that because he knows that would only make a Sith angry.
"I was a Jedi once here, too, before I realized the weakness of their way. Join me and I will complete your training. I will show you the strength of the Dark Side." He's trying to be persuasive, but all Anakin can do is gape at him.
He – what?
He wants him to join him. He's asking him to – to join the Empire?! (But that means he actually wants him, doesn't it? Because the offer isn't very strategic, considering that he would have no way of knowing Anakin wouldn't betray him, and Anakin has no idea what to think of that. This isn't something he can even consider agreeing to, though.)
"I've seen what the Empire is doing, Obi-Wan. I will not have a part with it."
"The Empire is the only chance at restoring order to the galaxy," he replies. There's a slightly sharper edge to his voice now.
Anakin stubbornly stands his ground, despite how that tone always makes him want to back down. That's what he always did with his Obi-Wan when he was upset about something, but this isn't his Obi-Wan, and he can't do that when what he's asking of him is so wrong. Not for something like this. "It may be," Anakin agrees, "But not the way it is now. Those in charge already have the chance to make things better, and they are not."
"The Rebellion you are fighting for is doing nothing but spreading destruction. The Empire did not used to be in chaos the way it is now," Obi-Wan throws back.
Anakin wouldn't know if that's true or not. Probably, it is to a point, but that doesn't change that there wouldn't have been a Rebellion in the first place if there was no reason for it. Not one this extensive. "There wouldn't have been a rebellion if the Empire never had problems before."
"Don't make me destroy you," he warns.
The threat in the words sends a chill through him. "Obi-Wan –"
"That is not who I am anymore." Yes, he knows that, and he needs remember that even if it's hard, hearing all of this in Obi-Wan's voice. "The Dark Side has given me power. Your destiny lies in the Dark Side, lies with me."
His destiny. Anakin's heard that countless times before, and he was trained to destroy the Sith. The very thing this Obi-Wan is now. And he... he can't hurt him. Even if it's not his. He already knows that, but that doesn't mean he can go along with him. Not on this. "I will not side with the Empire, Obi-Wan."
"You will," he throws back sharply, red lightsaber hissing to life in his hand, "When you see it's the only way."
Anakin stills for a moment, instinctively igniting his own lightsaber. He's sparred with Obi-Wan countless times before, but it was never to hurt each other. Obi-Wan's about to attack him, and he doesn't know what to think – how to feel –
Not that he gets the chance to do either before Obi-Wan comes at him. Anakin blocks him, their blades clashing.
It only takes him a few moments to realize that this Obi-Wan fights far more aggressively than his Obi-Wan did. For all that his Obi-Wan enjoyed fights, he always told Anakin to stop being aggressive, stop trying to win so much, and he never understood why, how he was supposed to be good at the only thing he's capable of if he stopped trying. But this Obi-Wan is fighting with a different style entirely; it's far less defensive. He's trying to win as fast as he can, whatever it takes.
Anakin adjusts his own fighting to counter it. The fight is fast and ceaseless, as they back down the narrow hall, neither really gaining any ground on the other. All that matters is that he... delays Obi-Wan long enough for the others to escape, and then he can try to run. It's not like he can truly defeat him – he... he's not going to hurt him.
But from the fierceness in the way Obi-Wan's fighting, he doesn't think the feelings are mutual.
He's been defeating Obi-Wan in 'saber practice since he was a padawan, though. Maybe he is stronger and more violent in the Dark Side, but the core of the way they fight isn't entirely different. He can see that now and takes advantage of it immediately. It helps that Obi-Wan isn't experienced with how he fights. Anakin focuses everything he has into the fight, just like he always does, and... slowly, he's starting to force Obi-Wan back.
The Sith stumbles for a moment, and Anakin shoves against his lightsaber, except Obi-Wan pulls back suddenly then swings for him again. But he's aiming too high for Anakin to block fast enough, and slashes through his right wrist.
Electricity sparks at the end of his wrist, and it feels like it's burning even if it only lasts for a few seconds. Obi-Wan throws him into the wall before he can recollect himself, leveling his blade inches from Anakin's neck.
He can feel the heat of the blade and presses away from it, except he's up against the wall so he can't well move.
He – he lost.
It was just the slightest slip up that left an opening for Obi-Wan to do that. He should've seen it coming before he did. Obi-Wan's always had a tendency to disarm his opponents, and –
Anakin's gaze darts up to meet his, through the expressionless mask. Obi-Wan was already threatening to hurt him. He just did hurt him, even if it's easily replaceable, but that doesn't stop the fear twisting inside of him.
He's not supposed to fail like this.
Obi-Wan hurt him once, and Anakin doesn't want that to happen again. He doesn't want to die here. He doesn't want Obi-Wan to kill him.
"I saw your... version of me, Anakin," he speaks, finally, "You were... my child."
Air freezes in his lungs, at the words. He – what?!
"Come with me," he requests, and he sounds so... hopeful. "We can destroy my master, rule the galaxy as father and son."
He –
That... He's wanted to hear an acknowledgement of the way Anakin felt towards him for so long, but he understands why his Obi-Wan would never give it. It wasn't the Jedi way, and it didn't matter so long as they could help people. And it wouldn't be fair to ask for more than his Obi-Wan was willing to give, but that doesn't mean...
Doesn't mean he didn't want it, and he has no idea how to feel that this version is calling Anakin his child so freely.
Even when they don't really know each other.
It's not just power he wants, is it? It's also... Anakin.
For some reason.
Even if he has no idea why. Not even his Obi-Wan wanted him in the beginning, even if they've long since moved past that... beginning.
But it – it doesn't matter because Anakin can't just stay with him. He has a duty to help the galaxy, and he doesn't know if Obi-Wan's genuinely promising that. And he wants Anakin to Fall, and he's already well aware of the damage that he can do if he starts slipping to close to it. It's not something he's ever going to risk happening again. Besides, he has other family here too, who he has to take care of.
That doesn't stop the almost ridiculous urge to cry, because he suddenly doesn't feel the same certainty that he did moments ago. He knows what he has to decide but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean it doesn't feel like rejecting someone who actually wants him. And he doesn't want to hurt Obi-Wan, but there's nothing else he can do.
Especially when that very moment he suddenly feels a flare of danger, from wherever Ahsoka, Asajj, and Qui-Gon are now. He has to go.
"Obi-Wan, I – I'm sorry." He draws the Force to him, flinging Obi-Wan down the hall away from him as hard as he can before he scrambles to his feet and runs.
He can feel the Sith's anger, but he doesn't slow his pace all the way until he gets to the hangar, to see the others struggling to hold off a group of clones swarming towards Lost Familiar.
Anakin Force-shoves them aside, making a break for the waiting ship. He can feel Obi-Wan rapidly moving towards the hangar, and they have to get out before he gets here. Anakin has no idea how he's going to react now, not after that... rejection, and he doesn't want to wait around to find out. (Though that does little to stop the sudden guilt twisting inside of him.)
With his help, the others barely make it onto the ramp in time without getting shot and the ship takes off, out of the hangar.
Fighters give chase immediately. The Empire – Obi-Wan – isn't planning to let them go without a fight.
He can feel Obi-Wan reaching for him, through the Force, as he scrambles for the guns to shoot back. It's hard when he's missing a hand and he doesn't even have his lightsaber, but neither are things he has time to worry about right now. Trying to use the guns with only his left hand is far from efficient, but he'll have to make it work. He definitely can't fly with only one hand.
He'll... have to drop Artoo off to fly their fighter out of there, if there's time.
"Anakin." Obi-Wan sounds angry, but there's a veiled desperation there that Anakin senses far more than hears.
"Obi-Wan," he replies, quietly.
"You're making a mistake," he warns.
Anakin doesn't reply to that. He doesn't know what to say, and he can't afford to get distracted. He just wants to talk to Qui-Gon, and – for things with Obi-Wan to not always be so complicated.
All he can do is focus on shooting back at the fighters until they're high enough away that they can make the jump to hyperspace, leaving Atravis (and Obi-Wan) far behind.
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