S2 E10
much too much
"AH, THE HOLIDAYS MAKE people stupid." Maddison complains as Meredith approaches her. "I just pulled 15 staples out of a man who thought he could handle a staple gun." She tells the girl, who just grabs her arm and drags her. "Spoiler alert, he couldn't." Meredith continues to drag her. "What are we doing?"
Finally, the two approach Cristina and Meredith lets go of the girl.
"Hey." Meredith tells them.
"Hi." The other two replies, confused.
"I'm gonna take this opportunity to be someplace else." Burke tells Cristina, who had been conversing with him, making Cristina scoff.
"Steve's labs came back clean." Meredith tells them.
"So?" Cristina asks.
"So, someone needs to induce vasoconstriction." Meredith says.
"Oh, nice try with the fancy word." Cristina laughs.
"He needs an enema and the answer is no." Maddison tells her.
"I can't do it." Meredith replies.
"Oh, come on you let a guy you pick up in a bar see you naked and you can't give him an enema." Cristina tells her.
"Totally uncalled for." Meredith says.
"Yeah." Maddison nods.
"Well, I am keyed up and cranky." Cristina replies.
"Yeah." Maddison nods again.
"Would you stop that?" Cristina tells her.
"Stop what? Agreeing with you?" Maddison looks at her.
"I would do it for you!" Meredith tells them.
"Oh, really?" Maddison challenges.
"You would give Burke or Liam an enema?" Cristina asks.
"Yes!" Meredith answers.
"Sure." Maddison replies, not buying it.
"Uh huh." Cristina adds.
"Maybe. No." Meredith says. "But that's not the point."
"How is that not the point?" Maddison tells her. "I am not giving your slutty one night stand an enema."
Meredith groans, then turns to Cristina.
"Ah, yeah, ok. Here's how it goes." Cristina tells her. "I do this for you and you do every enema I'm assigned to for an entire month."
"Deal!" Meredith immediately replies.
"Wow you really don't wanna do this." Cristina says.
"ENEMA DIDN'T WORK." Bailey says, as she lifts up the bedsheet on Steve's bed to see that he still had an erection.
Bailey looks like she can't believe what was happening, and the three interns enter.
"Enema didn't work?" Meredith asks.
"Enema didn't work." Maddison nods, turning to look at Cristina.
"Oh. Well, it was an excellent enema." Cristina tells them.
"So, what's the next step?" Bailey asks her interns.
"A needle aspiration." Cristina answers, and Steve gets scared.
"A needle?" He asks, horrified. "My penis?"
"We have to drain the blood." Meredith tells him, as they start to prepare and Bailey pulls out a huge needle on a tray.
"No way! No! Forget it!" Steve freaks out.
"Then you're looking at impotence, penile infarction or gangrene." Maddison shrugs.
"So if you want it to fall off..." Bailey tells him.
"No." The guy closes his eyes. "No, I really don't want that."
"Well, then let's get to it." Bailey tells them. "What goes up must come down."
Bailey leaves the room as Steve looks troubled.
"I feel nauseous." He tells them.
"Just lie back, close your eyes and try to relax." Meredith tells him.
"That's what she said." Maddison replies, making Meredith narrow her eyes.
"That's not funny, Maddy." Meredith tells her.
"Oh, it so is." Maddison chuckles. "You know why? Because that could actually be what she said."
Cristina snorts, making Meredith glare at the two, but they could see she was fighting a smile.
"If I could relax, I wouldn't be here." Steve tells them. "And that was a little funny."
AS CRISTINA HOLDS THE needle to drain the blood and starts with the procedure, the other two interns stand by the bed.
"What if I just gave him back the key?" Cristina asks.
"He'll be hurt." Meredith tells him.
"So?" Maddison asks.
"What if I don't use it?" Cristina asks.
"Well, then if you had no intention of using it then you shouldn't have taken it in the first place." Meredith replies.
"Wait, that constitutes as actually agreeing to take the key?" Maddison asks. "I'm never touching a key at a guy's house ever again."
"Oh, come on, Maddy's right." Cristina says. "Fishing a key out of a coffee cup isn't like some binding legal contract."
"Your boyfriend gave you a key to his place?" Steve asks.
"Why's he talking?" Cristina asks the other interns.
"I'm just saying the guy put himself out there. He's taken the next step. You can't not use it." He tells her.
"Do you think you might be not in the best position right now to be handing out relationship advice?" Cristina asks.
"Hey, he offered the key. You took the key. Just because I'm..." He trails off as Cristina finishes the procedure. "Oh, look at that. Ah."
"Congratulations. You're flaccid." Cristina tells him.
"Never thought I'd be so happy to hear that." Steve lets out a breath.
BAILEY LIFTS UP THE sheet on Steve's bed once more.
"Oh my lord. Ooh, Child." Bailey whispers to Maddison and Cristina, as Meredith walks in.
"Don't tell me." Meredith groans.
"The flag is flying once again." Cristina tells her.
"Hey, nothing I did." Steve informs.
"Well we've tried everything. Must be neural." Bailey says.
"Neural?" Meredith asks.
"Neural." Maddison tries to give her the him.
"She already called for a consult." Cristina tells her pointedly, making Meredith finally catch on.
"A consult?" She asks, turning to Bailey. "You called neuro for a consult?"
"Hey, it's not my fault you broke the boy's penis." Bailey replies.
"Hello everybody. What's up?" Derek walks in, smiling.
"Hmm." Derek hums after checking Steve out. "So, when did this problem begin?"
"Well, I had an erection last night and woke up with one this morning." Steve tells him.
Meredith looks horrified and Maddison and Cristina try not to laugh.
"Uh, Dr. Shepherd if you don't need me, the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints." Bailey says.
"Yeah, no, we're fine." Derek tells her, looking over Steve's chart and Bailey leaves.
"So, when did you last ejaculate?" Derek asks him, as Maddison grabs Cristina's arm and they both try not to laugh.
"I'm not sure." Steve replies, turning to Meredith. "Meredith?"
Meredith cringes and Derek looks at them.
"Oh, we're, we're gonna go with Dr. Bailey." Cristina tells them and drags Maddison with her.
"I wanna know what happens next." Maddison complains, getting dragged away.
ADDISON, LIAM, BAILEY, MADDISON Cristina and Izzie stand in Dorie's room, the person who was about to give birth to the Quintriplets.
"Here it is. Right there. The omphalocele." Liam points at the scan.
"Yeah, look at that." Bailey tells Maddison and Cristina.
"That's the scariest word yet." Dorie tells them.
"All, all it means is that ah some of the baby's internal organs are growing in a sac outside its body." Cristina tells her, casually.
"Cristina!" Izzie scolds.
"All it means her organs are growing outside of her body? That's all it means?" Dorie freaks out.
"It's gonna be okay." Izzie tries to comfort the woman, who's almost teary eyed.
"Mrs. Russell, there is no reason to panic right now." Liam tells her, calmly.
"Dr. William and I will remove the sac membrane containing the organs and make a small incision in the baby's abdomen and put them back inside." Bailey explains to her.
"Julie." Dorie says. "She's the quiet one."
Liam, Bailey, Maddison and Cristina walks out.
"Which intern is assigned to this surgery, Dr. Bailey?" Liam asks her.
"Either this or the pit?" Bailey turns to her two interns, thinking that they were going to fight over this.
"Surgery!" Cristina yells, raising her hand.
"Pit!" Maddison says. The three look at the girl in surprise. "What?" She asks them, turning to Bailey. "You gave us a choice."
"Has this ever happened before?" Liam whispers to Bailey.
"Never." Bailey whispers back.
"You guys do know I can hear you, right?" Maddison asks them. "There are five babies and you have six interns, I can work in the pit."
Liam hands the case file to Cristina.
"Welcome to the case, Dr. Yang." Liam tells her, as she takes the file. "And I know everyone can't have empathy. So, fake it next time."
"Absolutely." Cristina nods, and he turns to Maddison but she grabs Cristina and rushes away. "At least he asked for something reasonable."
"Yeah, you can try to fake it." Maddison tells her, as they walk.
"Are you kidding me? I can nail fake empathy." Cristina replies.
MADDISON, MEREDITH AND ALEX pick up their coffees from the coffee cart when Izzie approached them.
"Hey." She says. "Addison wants me to put you guys on notice. When the quints are born we're going to need everyone available. There's gonna be 5 babies, at least 3 surgeries, we're going to need all the hands we can get."
"Right." Maddison says, a little aloof.
"Ok." Meredith replies, absentmindedly.
"Fine." Alex add, in the same tone.
"So, I'll just page you guys when we need you?" Izzie asks, confused at their reaction.
"Right." Maddison repeats.
"Ok." Meredith repeats.
"Fine." Alex repeats.
The three walk away towards a table, making Izzie annoyed.
"Ok, then." She says.
"I was studying. What's your excuse?" Alex asks them, as the other two sit down at a table and he stands near them.
"I called Liam my boyfriend, so I'm avoiding him." Maddison answers.
"Is he not your boyfriend?" Meredith asks, sipping her coffee.
"Yeah, he's practically undressing you with his eyes." Alex smirks.
"He is not." Maddison rolls her eyes.
"Not in a creepy way, don't worry." Alex continues. "In a sexy way."
"Shut up." Maddison tells him, turning to Meredith. "Why were you doing?"
"I was staring at the ceiling in abject horror. My one night stand is a neurosurgical case."
"Heard you broke his penis. Nice." Alex nods, grinning.
"So, I'm having a lot of sex. What's wrong with that?" Meredith asks them.
"Did I ever say that?" Maddison asks.
"Nothing wrong with that at all." Alex replies.
"It only gets problematic when you start to care. When you let your emotions get in the way." Meredith tells them. "You know?"
"Yeah, right." Alex mutters, looking at Izzie. He tries to walk up to her but his pager beeps. "Damn it."
"I'll just take the tea." Izzie tells the barista, after Alex runs off.
How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bear?