The sun tenderly kissed the horizon, casting an orange and pink hue across the sky on the calm morning. It was relatively warm for this time of year. The denizens of New Orleans were slowly awakening to start their morning.
Men were combing their hair and gathering their briefcases for work.
Women were doing their makeup and fixing their husband's bow-ties.
Children were tying their shoes and running outside to play together.
Meanwhile, Sam sat in a tree, the ground staring up at him. He had been waiting for a while, daydreaming as he looked at the Saturday sky as it was slowly lit by the sun's rays.
The teen sighed when he realized the sky had turned from a deep orange to a nice blue. It was time for him to go back home. His sister would be waking up any second.
He used a brown rope to rappel down the tree, softly landing on the grass below.
The walk home was not rushed by any means. He didn't enjoy returning home empty handed .
It had been 2 and a half years since he and his sister began living with Alastor and lots had changed.
Alastor began to trust Sam a lot more, even lending him his guns and other weapons if he ever wanted to go hunting or just practice his aim. Like Al, the now 15 year old enjoyed shooting and hunting. Though, it didn't start out that way. He wasn't at all fond of the experience at first...
~
"There, he's distracted by the bait. It's the perfect shot." Alastor said, holding Sam's shoulders and adjusting his stance. "All you have to do now is shoot."
The teen felt the man's breath on his neck as he held the gun that was pointed directly at the buck's head. If hit dead on, it would be an instant kill.
Alastor released his shoulder's and stepped to the side, standing by with anticipation.
Sam stared intensely at the male deer calmly consuming the bait on the ground, blissfully ignorant of the danger he was in.
A bead of cold sweat dripped from Sam's left temple, his hands beginning to shiver. The world blurred ever so slightly as his eyes went in and out of focus.
His heart ached for the poor deer who was just happy to have found a nice meal on the forest floor.
The teen's shaking began to intensify with every passing second. Eventually the rattling of the gun rang into their ears before Sam sighed loudly, lowering the weapon and aiming it at the ground.
"I-I can't." Sam admitted defeatedly, avoiding eye contact with the man standing next to him. "I just can't."
Alastor stared at him for a moment before humming lightly.
His reaction confused Sam until the gun from his hand was suddenly taken away, it was then when the boy looked up and saw Alastor aiming the gun once more towards the poor creature.
Before he could even react, Sam's ear began ringing from the loud gunshot followed by the thump of the buck collapsing to the ground.
Sam clenched his eyelids shut as he gasped and turned his head away in a mix of emotions. His empathy for the animal was at an all time high.
"There. It's that simple." Alastor said, his sprightly voice failing to make Sam feel any better.
"H-How... How can you-"
"Because it is simple survival."
"It just... I-It just seems... cold to me."
Alastor hummed. "The world is cold place, dear Samuel. Quite the cold place indeed. You must do some cold things yourself in order to survive in it."
~
That was the day that Sam realized that life was not a game.
He always used to see it as such, a game. Life was the board game and him and his sister were the playing pieces with whatever God there could have been being the player... And they were unlucky enough to be the two pieces that the player didn't care about.
Alastor had showed him that day that there was no luck or chance. You made your own luck. You made your own chance. You were the player in the game of life. You could choose whatever crossroads you wanted your playing piece to travel down.
There was a way to survive in this awful, relentless world we all call home...
If you're strong enough.
With that thought in mind, Sam's spirits raised slightly as he felt a bit of pride in his chest. It took a little while and, admittedly, a little coaxing from Alastor, but Sam has become much much stronger in the past two and a half years thanks to his help.
In fact, the first time he ever made his own kill, he could remember quite well...
~
The teen stood behind a tree, the Winchester rifle firmly in his grasp. He was shaking again. Every time Alastor had brought him out to hunt with him, the same thing would happen. He would see a deer, aim at it, get empathetic and not be able to shoot it.
It seemed to be happening again and Alastor's pressuring words behind him didn't help much.
Recognizing his own anxious behavior Sam began to lose hope that he'd ever be able to do this. It was too difficult. How could he?! Deer are sweet and majestic animals. Some say they even guide souls to their destiny. The poor thing, he wasn't bothering anybody!
How could he just slaughter one in cold blood like Alastor seems to have no problem doing?? It goes against everything he's ever tried to teach Edith and even himself at times.
He can't!
Sweat and tears fell from the boy's head.
"Kill. It." Alastor spoke coldly, emphasizing each word independently. This was the seventh time the two were in this exact situation and Alastor was beginning to get fed up. He started thinking of anything he could say that could act as encouragement. Whether it be good encouragement or bad encouragement didn't matter to him anymore. He tried to play nice but that obviously wasn't working.
Then it clicked. Alastor knew Sam didn't have the survival mindset because in the back of his mind he knew that if he failed to kill anything, there was food back at home or Alastor might kill the deer for him. But...
"That's you and your sister's food. I will not be killing it for you this time. So if you fail..?" Alastor chuckled dryly. "Well then, I suppose neither of you will be eating today."
These words made the boy's shaking cease as his anxiety turned to shock.
The wind became loud in his ear as he swung his head towards Alastor, as if to check if he was joking around. The man's eyes did all the talking. He was dead serious.
Sam turned back around as his head was clouded, not with empathy for the deer but with anxiety for his sister.
The dead leaves crunched behind Sam as Alastor stepped forward, putting his hands on each of the boy's shoulders.
"Your defenseless little sister doesn't deserve to suffer due to your failure as a provider, now does she? It's rather unfair to her, wouldn't you agree?" He whispered in the teen's ear.
Alastor could feel Sam's chest rise and fall as his breathing began to silently increase once more. Al knew this was the push he needed.
"I can only imagine the sheer disappointment she'll feel when she realizes just how much of a coward her older brother is. The resentment... Maybe even anger towards you for being the cause of her miserable hunger." Alastor continued in a manipulative tone. "Though, in your defense, you were far from a good provider when you were living on those dark depressing streets. How could she possibly expect you to be one now..?"
Sam's head felt suddenly hot and heavy as he felt a surge of rage and determination to prove Alastor wrong. He is a good provider and he is a great older brother! He'll prove it!
The teen brought the gun back up to his eye level and quickly took aim towards the deer's head.
Alastor's smile grew as he saw the buck's head suddenly swing back and blood fly out of the hole in its skull before it fell. A sight he always enjoyed seeing.
When Sam realized what he had just done in his blind determination, the gun slowly lowered, his breathing slowly going back to normal.
"I-Is it..." he gulped thickly. "Is it d-dead?"
Alastor released his shoulders and stood up straight, adjusting his clothing. "Yes. It would appear it is."
Excellent.
~
Sam never hesitated to kill deer much after that. In fact, not long after, he didn't really hesitate to kill any animal. Heck, once he killed a rabbit by accident and Alastor taught him how to make a tasty stew out of it and other ingredients. He might never have known he liked the taste of rabbit if he hadn't done that.
Now he openly kills rabbits from time to time. The male ones of course.
Alastor always taught him to only kill adult male animals like bucks and never does or fawns. Killing does or fawns is killing any future offspring they might produce. Not only that but it's just rude and ungentlemanly to do so.
It's just an unspoken rule among hunters alike.
Not that Sam could anyway. Sure, he could kill a buck but he doesn't think he could actually bring himself to kill a doe or even worse a fawn. Especially since Alastor frequently refers to Edith as a 'little fawn'. Now every time Sam sees a fawn he is immediately reminded of his sibling.
Sam sighed in relief when he finally made it home. His ankles ached from all the standing walking and small bags began to form under his eyes from the tiring morning he's had.
When he stepped inside, the warmth from a lit fire taking over the cold from outside made him shiver.
Putting his stuff down, he made his way towards the library, the one place he could always count on to find...
"Sam! You're back!!"
The teen looked over and saw a small face looking back at him from the side of a chair.
The young 7 year old jumped from her soft chair and ran up to her brother, her arms wrapping around his waist in a tight hold. The warmth of her embrace was quick to wipe away the frustration and disappointment in an instant.
Sam smiled and laid a soft kiss on the top of her head. He could always count on her to make him smile. The way she always excited to see him, even if they had just seen each other hours ago. It served as a nice reminder that no matter what happens, they'll always have each other in the world.
"Good morning, Edi! How did you sleep?"
Edith pulled away from Sam, looking up at him, her smile still so bright, it could be seen for miles.
"It was great! Very reinstating!" She said.
The teen chuckled at how she knew such a word. "Hm, I know you're trying to work on expanding your vocabulary, but I think 'refreshing' might be a better word in place of reinstating." He said, patting her head. "To be reinstated is like saying you got fired from a job but then they gave it back to you. That's when you would say you were reinstated."
"Ohh! I understand now. Reinstated means to be given something again. Refreshed means to be more energized?" Edith asked, tilting her head slightly as she did so.
"Yup! You pretty much got it!"
"Great! I'll add it to the list!" She exclaimed excitedly, running towards a little notebook on one of the small tables.
Sam shook his head, his smile still evident on his face as Edith's giggles of excitement got quieter behind him. A grumbling noise filled the silence as his lack of eating breakfast took its toll.
Though, this only made him more upset with himself.
A few nights ago, he had overheard Alastor speaking over the phone about his newfound financial struggles that Sam knew he and his sister were no doubt contributing to. Surely Alastor would normally be fine on money. That was if he didn't have two more humans living in his house that he had to clothe, feed, and educate.
Knowing this, Sam did what he could to try and help: hunting for food when possible and after Alastor was finished reading the morning paper, Sam would secretly scour through it looking for help wanted ads, but of course with the stock market continuing to crash, there weren't many job openings.
Alas, all he could do was try to provide them with food while Alastor was at work, which made today's failure all the more prominent.
Perhaps he could find a way to get his mind off of this...
~
HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS BELOW
IM SO GLAD ADAM DIED!!! THAT WAS THE BEST MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE SHOW!
Though, Alastor not being able to defeat him seemed extremely out of character. I think whoever he made the deal with is limiting his power and his mental breakdown was mainly because he was almost killed because of it.
What do yall think?