This is the last Chapter. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.
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Pansy watched as Draco was dragged away by professor Snape. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Filch would find her too, so she had to act fast. Removing her high heels to make as little noise as possible, she followed them. The Stone was cold under her bare feet, and the stone arcs of the castle towered over her menacingly.
Footsteps echoed behind her.
You've got to be kidding me
What was Potter doing here? She would never understand how someone as kind and intelligent as Hermione had ended up with such horrible friends. Throughout his school years, Harry had made a point to be particularly disdainful to every Slytherin that crossed his path, including kids in the younger years. Pansy distinctly recalled him jeering a couple of years ago when new 11-year-old students, having arrived at Hogwarts less than an hour before, would be sorted into Slytherin. She could forgive the stupid rivalry he had with Draco, as it was entertained by both parties. What she couldn't forgive was how much the Slytherin reputation had been tarnished because The Chosen One had decided to hate them all based on his opinion on a couple of students.
Pansy hid behind a wall, and watched as Harry walked past her before hiding behind an arc as well, a mere metres away from her. She cursed as Draco's and Snape's voices resounded across the hallways. Pansy closed her eyes in disbelief, powerless as Draco and Snape exposed themselves to Harry.
Her name had not been mentioned once. Her efforts, her time, everything would be attributed to an invisible force that would never receive any credit. All the love she had for Draco turned into a sour aftertaste in her mouth. On one hand, she was safe from Harry, on the other, the fact that no one would know about her contributions had just been confirmed. She couldn't. She needed to make the Dark Lord proud.
"Did you just try Occlumency on me?" Draco yelled, incredulously. "How dare you? How dare you enter my mind this way?"
"The Dark Lord is the most powerful Occlumens there is, Draco. Do you seriously think that he'll spare your feelings and let you go once you finish your task? Once you meet him again, he will make his way into the deepest corners of your mind, and if he so happens to find a hint of betrayal, I can guarantee you that you and your family will be dead in a second." Snape's slow voice left Draco speechless. Pansy worried that her heartbeat would be loud enough for everyone to hear. "Let me help you. If not with your task then at least with this. You do not realise the power that he holds."
"You don't understand! I have to do this alone!"
Alone.
Pansy walked away slowly, trying her best not to cry as the gravity of her situation dawned on her. She had thought of everything. Everything but this. She could fix the cabinet all by herself, become the greatest death eater there ever was, but she would never be able to hide the reason of her allegiance to the Dark Lord. It would take him seconds to realise that she was giving him her life in order to protect none other than Hermione. Potter's best friend. He would sizzle through her mind and rip out her most hidden, treasured secrets effortlessly.
It was with fury and despair that she made her way up to the seventh floor, and stomped while walking back and forth in front of the tapestry behind which the room of requirements was hidden.
A room to wait for Hypatia. A room to wait for Hypatia. A room to wait for Hypatia.
A small wooden door revealed itself. It was simple, discreet, with an intricate doorknob sculpted out of a dark metal. The room behind it was much smaller than the one she had frequented when fixing the cabinet. A sober fireplace was the only source of light, but Pansy could draw out the entirety of the room. A velvet couch garnished with blankets, a table surrounded by dining chairs, and peeling wallpaper that climbed up to a ceiling so high that a dark void seemed to hang above her head. Pansy didn't know what to do. Slughorn's party had to have ended by now, but sitting on the couch while waiting for Hermione felt too casual. She put her heels back on and stood by the fireplace, hypnotised by the dancing flames.
Hermione walked through the door a few minutes after. She was even prettier than at the party, something Pansy could have never imagined to be possible. The soft colour of her dress complimented perfectly her curves and her rounder features. Pansy took a step towards her. She no longer knew what to do now that they had found themselves alone. What was she going to think of her? What should she say? Pansy had no romantic experience, and was afraid that Hermione would start to see through her veil of fake confidence.
"You came."
"Yes, I wouldn't have missed this for the world." Hermione walked up to her, and gently rested her hand on her face.
"It's really hard for me to assimilate the fact that you are Circe." Her fingertips caressed her cheeks, and moved on to her chin not before trailing her nose bridge in a desperate attempt to make sure she was real. After months of Talking to Pansy, she was almost afraid to touch her. "I never thought that the day where I would look at you and feel anything else other than the desire to punch you would come."
"Whereas I had weeks and weeks to stare at you and accept the idea that it was you that I loved. It was really hard to see you everyday and not talk to you." Pansy said.
Hermione got dangerously close. Pansy took this opportunity to lean down and press her lips on the girl's rosy cheek before whispering, "We won't have a happy ending, Hypatia."
Hermione grabbed her face and kissed her. For Pansy, this was equally exhilarating and painful, the knot in her stomach refusing to leave her in what could only be described as one of the happiest moments of her life. She dug her hands in Hermione's curls, her thumb gently caressing the girl's jaw. Hermione grabbed her by the waist with both her hands and wrapped her arms around her exposed back. Pansy shivered as she felt their skins touch, their kiss getting heavier by the second. It felt so right and yet it hurt. She pulled away.
"I'm sorry, This is the only time we will see each other, and I don't want it to go like this." Hermione jerked away, eyes widened.
"What do you mean by this is the last time we'll see each other?"
Pansy remained quiet for a few seconds. She had refused to think about the dawning inevitability of her situation for weeks now. What she had known since the previous summer, what she had kept hidden from all until now, even Hypatia, had to come to light.
"My father ordered that I receive the dark mark over the winter break."
"No!" Hermione stepped back until she hit the wall. "No Pansy, you can't!"
Pansy looked down at her bare forearm, hiding behind the dark strands of her hair in order to avoid seeing Hermione. The pale, blank space that would soon be covered in indelible ink almost taunted her.
You haven't even ruined your life and yet you can't stop it from happening.
"Why? Why would you do this? There's still time! You don't have to. You always have a choice, Pansy." Hermione was crying now. She sat on the floor across the room, her legs failing her.
"I could tell you that I didn't have a choice when I agreed. That it was all simply pressure from my parents, but that would be a lie." Pansy slowly made her way to Hermione before sitting down by her side. "I only started regretting this decision when I understood that it would separate us. You, Hermione, made me realise all the lies that I had been fed since the day I was born. I was too stupid to realise that by accepting my father's proposal, I would be selling my soul."
Hermione continued crying, resting her head on Pansy's shoulder. The taller girl tried to keep composure, clenching her jaw, closing her eyes in order to capture any tear that may try to escape inadvertently. "You know, you could change sides. You could seek Dumbledore's protection!" Pansy said nothing, and instead started petting Hermione's hair, the consequences of her actions whipping back at her face violently. She felt tricked. By having such a big decision placed upon her shoulders at the mere age of 16, she had never stood a chance.
"You, who are Potter's friend, know exactly why he's legendary, right? He is the boy who lived, and I can guarantee you that his title is worth the fame that came with it. No one escapes the Dark Lord. If I were to seek Dumbledore's protection, the first thing he'd do is erase the entire Parkinson family out of the map, and make sure I watch. Then he'd come for my friends, for you even, if he finds out about our connection before inflicting me a slow, painful death. But Hermione, I assure you that my dedication to him will not be devoid of importance. I'll watch over you."
They remained quiet, Hermione's sobs the only indication that there was someone in the room at all.
"If I get caught by Filch like Draco did, I'm dead." Pansy said after what felt like long enough."
"We could stay here until the morning. I'll just use a charm to make our clothes a little less out of place until we make it back to our dorms." Hermione proposed, wiping away her tears.
"Had I been McLaggen, I would have asked for a bed when I summoned the room!" Pansy joked.
"Oh gosh, don't even talk to me about him! It took me forever to get rid of his ridiculous egocentric self. Remind me to never have an idea as stupid as this one!"
They settled on the couch before wrapping themselves in blankets. Hermione rested her head on Pansy's chest, clinging on to her. They looked each other in the eyes, reassuring smiles pasted on both their faces until Hermione eventually felt safe enough to fall asleep. Her knuckles were holding onto her so tightly, even while sleeping, that Pansy wouldn't have been able to escape even if she wanted to.
Pansy refused to sleep. She couldn't allow a singular second to go waste. Instead, she spent the next hours making sure she'd never forget the way it felt to have Hermione Granger's messy curls splatter over her. The rhythm of her breathing. The softness of her skin. Her perfume. The way her eyebrows slightly frowned at times, and the way her freckles danced on her face. Pansy tried to memorise them all by counting them one by one until morning came around sooner than she would've hoped .
"Pansy, are you asleep?" Hermione asked, her morning voice lower than Pansy could have ever imagined it to be. She kissed the top of the girl's head as answer to her question.
Hermione stretched and stood up, finally allowing Pansy's achy muscles to move from the position she had managed to hold for several hours. Hermione had brought back a couple of pastries from the party which they shared while talking the way they always had through the mirror, only this time Pansy could finally devour her with her eyes. She couldn't stop staring at the way Hermione seemingly interrogated the ceiling, looking up when trying to remember a specific historical date, and the way she grabbed her arms excitedly every time Pansy followed through one of her informational dumps.
Pansy was asked to stand up after their breakfast, while Hermione attempted several charms to turn their elegant dresses into something simpler. She watched powerless as her expensive high heels turned into closed, flat shoes.
"Don't worry, the charm won't last more than a couple of hours" Hermione laughed, having finally figured out the perfect charm to turn her peach dress into an almost perfect copy of the Gryffindor uniform.
Pansy waited until Hermione had gone on to her own shoes before raising her wand discreetly. It was time.
"Oblivi-
"Expelliarmus!" Hermione countered immediately. Pansy's wand flew across the room.
"What were you about to do?" Hermione asked, red with anger.
"I have no other choice, I have to do this!" Pansy begged, her voice shaky. "You know too much about me and I know too much about you. When I get the mark, the Dark Lord will have free access to my mind. How long do you think it will take him to realise that I'm a traitor? That I'm only following through to make sure I can protect you. Would the day where he ruled again ever come? Hermione, my love, you can be nothing but a distant memory in my mind. I can no longer suffer when thinking about everything that comes in between us, otherwise that will be the first thing he goes after!"
"We always have the choice, Pansy." Her voice was cold. " If you only you'd be brave enough to-
"Oh yes, teach me about courage. You're asking me to leave my family behind to the hands of You Know Who, to abandon my friends, and to put your life in danger by putting a target on my back before joining your side. Would you? Would you join the death eaters if it meant we could be together?" Pansy replied back.
"No. Because what they do is horrible. You and I both know that there is a right and there is a wrong in this war. By leaving my side, I wouldn't do any good.
"A dead person does not do good, it does nothing." Pansy took a step away. She had truly hoped that Hermione would understand her side. "You think that we will be able to be happy together if I leave the dark side? You're wrong. I'd be sentencing us to a life of misery, and of instability. I'd be killing us. We will never be able to be happy together. Haven't you heard Cho's words? We never stood a chance, Hermione! Can't you see that I too, suffer at this idea everytime I look into your eyes? When you laugh at the dinner table because of something Harry said, I suffer. When you smile at your book in the library, I suffer. When you walk right past me in the hallway without noticing me, I suffer."
Pansy grabbed Hermione by the shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. She felt so small, and scared.
"I don't want to lose you. I can't, Pansy, I just can't. I can't stand the idea of looking at you and feeling disdain again. I can't stand the idea of looking at you and never seeing Circe again."
"You will forget Circe. And you will look at Pansy and hate her. That is what will save my life, and your life. Hermione I love you. If only you could feel just how strongly I love you. I loved you when I first heard your voice, and I'll love you even after Hypatia and Circe cease to exist. I'll never stop loving you, even if it is the last thing that I do. Even if you don't know it, and I don't know it."
Their lips touched for what would be the last time. Their hands holding tight onto each other, desperate to not let go yet painfully aware of the fleeting, momentary nature of their love. It was a long, desperate, hungry yet gentle kiss.
Pansy grabbed Hermione's wand away from her hand and ripped their bodies apart, jumping backwards.
"Pansy, please. Please, I'm begging you."
Pansy raised her hand, and pronounced the words that would kill Circe. She used a spell way stronger than Obliviate. A spell that she could barely conjure with the little knowledge she had in Occlumency. Pansy carefully removed every single memory that would tie her to Hermione. She relieved their entire evening through the girl's eyes. Merlin, next time Pansy crossed paths with McLaggen, she'd make sure to find an excuse to punch him. She saw herself through Hermione's eyes. She looked abnormally beautiful, her face almost resembling an angel, or a naiad. Pansy didn't let herself get distracted and dove deeper. She got to see Hermione's smile everytime she picked up the mirror, as well as the disgusted face she had made when seeing her come down to the Oak tree by the Great Lake the first time they had agreed to meet.
Once Pansy was sure she had stolen every memory of herself. Any hint that would lead Hermione to her, she pulled away before casting a spell of confusion at Hypatia. She ran to grab her wand that was still laid on the floor before grabbing Hermione in her arms and bringing her outside of the room of requirements, leaving her in the empty hallway. Pansy stole one last glance at the girl that she loved before hurrying back into the room, making sure to lock it behind her. She listened as the Confundus charm faded away and Hermione asked herself out loud if she had sleep walked. Pansy listened as Hermione walked away, unknowingly taking away a part of her soul with her as the distance between them grew.
Once again alone in the room, Pansy cried. She cried until she couldn't breathe. She cried until she couldn't live. Few hours passed and she watched powerless as her shoes turned back into heels, and the last bit she had of Hermione Granger withered away.