Listen to 'I should hate you' by Gracie Abrams while reading this!
Lillian's POV:
"And here comes the Thorton family," the announcer said and Topper and his mom and dad entered the event.
"I'm gonna say hi to Top, be right back," I said to Kie, Pope, and Sarah.
They all nodded and that was my cue to go. I hadn't talked to Topper in forever and unless Rafe had told him he had no clue of what had happened.
I walked over to him and his family and greeted them before he took my hand and led me to a corner where we could have more privacy.
He hugged me tight and I exchanged the hug, I really needed it, I missed him. "I'm so sorry Lil, about the Daniel thing. But it's good everything's over."
"No, it's okay. I'm fine don't worry," I said, he didn't know about Rafe and me, and I for sure wasn't going to tell him. Just so he could feel bad for me, no. Rafe was going to have to tell him and Topper would make him feel like the idiot he was.
"How have you been doing?" Topper asked me.
"Fine I guess, just a little tired," I said and his face was surprised.
"Lillian Jones tired?" he said in a sarcastic tone that gave me a sense of comfort, he didn't feel bad for me, I didn't have his pity, I could talk to him without him feeling like he was walking on thin ice. Finally someone like that.
"I know right impossible," I chuckled. "Do you know where Rafe is?" Topper asked. The only happy moment I'd had in ages lasted a good 10 seconds, a new record.
"Dunno, ask Sarah maybe," I said and he nodded. I could tell he wanted to say something but for some reason didn't. "Oh ok sure," he said and I smiled at him.
"I'm gonna go to Pope but see you later?" I said and he nodded. "Remember to spare me a dance," he said with a smile and I laughed, I loved Topper so much, thank god for him.
Sarah was at the drink table and I saw Topper approach her. Meanwhile, I turned around and went to talk with Pope who was still serving appetizers.
Topper's POV:
I walked over to Sarah, she and I hadn't talked in forever but we were on decent terms so I knew I could ask her about Rafe. "Hey Sarah, do you know where Rafe is?" I asked her.
"Bro why are you asking me," Sarah said and I rolled my eyes. "Because I asked Lillian and she got pissed and told me to ask you," I said and Sarah made a face at me.
"You asked Lillian are you stupid," Sarah said with a mad tone. "Why wouldn't I, it's her boyfriend," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"Topper, Rafe cheated on Lillian," Sarah said and I laughed. "Sure he did," I said. Sarah's face didn't change.
"I'm being so for real right now," she said and now it wasn't funny.
"No way Sarah, he was so in love with her, like the second he saw her his face would change like every time she was mentioned either he had a smile pasted to his face or he got defensive and protective, there is no way," I said. Rafe loved Lillian in an indescribable way, everyone saw it, there was no way he cheated, no way.
"Topper, I don't know what to tell you, that's what happened," What the fuck. "Where is he," I said in a more serious tone that Sarah understood.
"I think he's inside right now," Sarah said and I nodded, about to make my way inside.
"Topper," Sarah said and I turned around.
"Make sure he knows what he lost," Sarah said. "Oh, he'll know,"
When Rafe and Lillian started dating I made myself clear to Rafe how he should treat her and what the consequences would be if he didn't.
"I need you to promise that you will treat Lillian the way we both know she deserves to be treated. I'm letting you know that it won't end well if you ever hurt her. I'm just letting you know." "Top, I would never hurt her. She's my everything, I- I think I'm falling in love with her. Actually, I know I'm falling in love with her. I could never live without her, I would never do anything stupid to fuck what we have up. I promise." "Okay, but just know I warned you."
Rafe had broken that promise, therefore I was keeping mine. I walked inside and spotted Rafe, in the corner of a semi-empty room drinking some sort of alcohol. "Hey Rafe," I said. "Oh hey bro," Rafe said, seeming off, like not all of him was there.
"Can I speak to you outside," I said and he nodded. This asshole thought I didn't know. We both. walked over to the back of the country club, the only place where no one stood.
"So, what's up," Rafe said and my fist arrived at his face. "What the fuck Top," Rafe yelled. I punched him again and again, and again until I saw the first sign of blood, that's when I stopped, I didn't want a lot of people to know what had happened because Lillian wouldn't have wanted that.
"You lying bastard," I yelled at him.
"Do you remember the promise you made me about never hurting Lillian?" "Oh," Rafe said from the floor holding his jaw with his hand.
"Lillian is the strongest girl I've ever met and she will get through this and find someone else who is better than you, but you, on the other hand, will never find someone better than Lillian, I hope you know that you fucked your chances with a girl who loved you like no one else ever did to get your dick wet, congratulations idiot," I said giving him one last punch.
I left the area and came back to where everyone was checking in the mirror that I hadn't stained my suit. Sarah looked at me giving me a look and I gave her a thumbs up, Rafe had paid, but this wasn't the last time he was going to, far from it.
Lillian's POV:
Sarah and I separated from Pope and Kie for dinner. We both walked to the table reserved for our two families. I sat next to Rafe and Sarah, Sarah next to Ward and Ward next to Rose, my mom next to Rose and my dad next to my mom, Ethan next to Dad, and Wheezie next to him, and Rafe all as the seating arrangement listed. For the whole of dinner, I didn't even look at Rafe once, I had no idea if he was doing the same. At a certain point, the topic of college arrived.
"So girls next year is senior year, where do you guys want to go to college?" Rose asked Sarah and me while cutting her steak delicately.
"Well, we know what we want to do but not where," Sarah said.
"We also know we want to go together," I said and Sarah and I looked at each other with an excited happy face.
"So? What do you guys wanna do?" Wheezie asked. "I want to study psychology and Sarah would like to study medicine," I said. "On your way to becoming?" Ward asked. "A nurse and a, wait I don't know," Sarah said looking at me.
"I want to help people in a bigger way than a psychologist does, I want to do something that helps people who don't have the money to pay for therapy, I want my work to be accessible to everyone, age, class, race." "That's really interesting Lil, have you guys thought about options of universities?" Ward asked.
"Well we want a university with a good medical program and a good psychology program and obviously an Ivy would be our dream but we don't really know which one."
"I heard Brown is really good for those requirements," my dad said.
"No not Brown," I said.
"Why not?" Rose asked.
I hesitated. Ah fuck it.
"I heard that people from Brown are big on cheating and don't understand how commitment works," I said, making Rafe choke on his piece of meat. Only he knew what I was talking about. "Ok?" my mom said.
"Well, how about Yale?" Rose said. "Yale's an option," I said.
"Really? I heard people from Yale hide things from their friends and lie about their relationships," Rafe said, this time making me almost spit out my water.
"Well what I heard is that people from Yale put everything they ever had including their life on the line just to be with people from Brown, and the people from Brown throw it all away for validation," I said looking at Rafe in the eyes.
"Academic validation?" Wheezie asked, not knowing what was going on. "Different type of validation Wheeze," Ethan whispered in her ear, loud enough for me to hear.
"Well, what I heard is that people from Brown just get sick of boring people fast and do something about it,"
That one hurt. A lot. Salt in the wound type of pain.
"Well, maybe the problem isn't the boring person but rather the person who can't communicate their feelings to anyone other than to Coke," I said and Wheezie and Ethan gasped.
"Well it doesn't even matter because the people you're talking about aren't even applying for Brown anymore," Rafe said, almost yelling. Rafe wasn't applying to Brown anymore, was he stupid? I shouldn't care though, not my problem.
"Oh and is that the Yale student's fault?" I said. "If the Yale student would mind their own business for once," Rafe said.
"You know what I'm going for a walk.
"Yeah, I see some Yale student attitude right there walking out of a conversation," Rafe said.
"What like you walked out of a relationship? Fuck you, Rafe," I said and left.
I heard Wheezie and Rose communicate how confused they were while the others just sighed. Sarah ran after me but I tried to avoid her as well.
I went to the closest bathroom and hid in there, locking the door. I sat down on the marble-tiled floor, crying. Was that really why Rafe cheated on me? Because I was boring? I sobbed on the cold floor, thinking back to Rafe and me.
I hated how I still cared bout him and how he was doing, no matter how much I wanted to hate him, I was still in love with him. I just wanted to be okay again, like I was at the start of summer.
I missed enjoying the things I loved doing, I missed seeing Tanny Hill as a safe space with only good memories, and I missed smiling genuinely at a joke.
I missed the girl I was, the girl Rafe had destroyed.
Rafe's POV:
Once Lillian left dinner was pretty much over. I had fucked things up even more. The things I had said were next-level vicious. I didn't mean one single thing, I don't know how the words left my mouth, I had completely lost control.
I stood up looking for Kelce and the rest of my 'friends'. I hated them, all shallow without any care about anything in the world.
Topper was my best friend, and now I'd lost him too. He was always there for me no matter what, he always had my back no matter what, but not anymore. All because of Daniel.
"Yo dude do you know where Lil is?" I heard a familiar voice say.
"No I'm sorry she was having dinner a few seconds ago I don't know where she went," another familiar voice said. Jj and Pope.
"I'm just going to go inside, remember tonight's plans," Jj said to Pope and he nodded. Jj walked inside the country club to I assume find Lillian. I wasn't going to let him do that.
"Hey pogue, I yelled at him. "Hey Rafe," Jj spat out.
"How about you get the fuck off this property. "
"See I could do that, or I could come over to you and give you one of these." Jj said before punching me in the face strongly.
"That's for what you did to Lillian asshole," Jj said to me. I punched him back and he fell to the ground quickly.
"Is that all you got Rafe?" Jj asked me. I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me, and he succeeded at that. I punched him more and so did he, his punches barely hurt me but I still didn't want to finish him off.
"You need to stay the fuck away from Lillian," I said. "How am I supposed to do that?" Jj laughed. I got deja vu, except this time I wasn't with Lillian, and the tables were flipped.
Notes from the author:
Heyyy guysss! I'm so sorry this took me so much time but I've been so busy. Thank you sosoososoososososoos much for 21k read ilygsm istg. I cried while making this and I hope you get all the references to the previous chapters!!! There's going to be one last part the Midsummer's chapter and I'm gonna try to write and upload it tomorrow but I don't wanna make promises I can't keep so MAYBE it will come out then, if not probably in a week.
Please vote and comment thoughts or anything else it really helps my motivation to write when I know how people are reacting to my story!!
Love you all so much!