ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ɪɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ
:]
george looks up with a welcoming hum in response to a simple knocking on his door.
the door inches slowly open before dream leans his head through the gap with a grin. "sapnap and karl will be here in a few minutes," he says, his excitement coursing off him in waves so strong that george can feel them brushing over him like physical touch.
the brunette moves, shifting to the edge of his bed before standing up onto his feet. "how many minutes?" he asks, feeling excitement of his own thrumming in his chest. it's been so long since he's seen karl in person, and the idea of the brunette coming to stay for a few days has been a blink of light in his darkest moments.
his recent nights have been brought comfort by the thoughts of karl's soon arrival.
"they left mcdonalds like forty minutes ago," dream shrugs, "so they could be here any second."
dream pushes the door open further as george nears him and moves to the side so george has room to step out. they share smiles as they silently make their way to the lounge.
it isn't until george flops back onto the couch with a small huff that dream speaks again. from a few feet away, standing with one hand gripping the back of the armchair, dream says, "how have you been feeling recently?"
the question startles george slightly and, with quiet resentment forming in his gut, he feels as though he's been cornered by his friend. "fine," he answers. he can't help but spitefully wonder if karl and sapnap are really nearby or if it was just a ruse to trick him out of the comforts of his room.
it has become an unspoken rule not to bother george in the safe sanctuary of his bedroom. sapnap and dream walk into any room without permission, and george does the same. his room is the only one limited by the requirement to knock before entering.
george hadn't meant to make his space so off-limits to his friends, and part of him wonders if his need for space only adds to his ongoing sadness, but he just craves time alone. his social butterfly isn't as bright as it used to be. he can't hold a conversation like he used to, not when his mind strays so easily to the emptiness in his heart.
"are you sure?" dream asks. he shifts around the armchair to take a seat and george lets his gaze drift to the jittering jump of dream's knee as his foot taps on the floor. why is dream exuding anxious tendencies when george is the one being cornered? "you can always talk to us."
"i know," george says, even though he has no intention of doing such a thing. he knows his friends are always there for him, but he isn't particularly interested in failing to explain the emotions that he can't understand. he doesn't see any positive in pouring his heart out just for no one to understand what he is talking about. the idea feels nothing short of embarrassing. "i've just been tired recently," he excuses, "not sure why." another lie.
"how have you been sleeping?" dream wonders, leaning against the arm of the chair. george feels like he's in a therapy room, facing someone who has no real connection to him besides trying to make sense of the mess in his mind. "maybe you need sleeping tablets or something. i used to take them when my insomnia was really bad."
george doesn't get a chance to think up some dismissive reply before their conversation is interrupted by the sound of a key clicking in the door.
george is grateful for the distraction. maybe dream wasn't lying about how near they were.
the sound of laughter carries through the wooden door even before it's pushed open. sapnap sounds so bright and full of joy as his voice drifts through the open plan of their house, "well i thought it would be locked!"
karl's responding laugh makes george's heart feel weighted in his chest. brightness flashes in his eyes and his body floats metaphorically away from the world before it's tethered back by the sudden shadows that cast over the light.
darkness fades around him again, his chest twisting with unnecessary hurt.
still, he manages to smile when karl and sapnap enter the lounge. the ravenette is pulling karl's suitcase, and the only thing in karl's hands is a mcdonald's cup.
george is frozen in his seat even as he watches dream jumping up to hug and greet the fluffy-haired brunette. he feels like he's watching from a few feet away, admiring the moment from an outsider's point of view instead of living in it.
laughter circles around him but he can't work out what is funny. he doesn't know what his friends are laughing at but clearly something has amused them. he missed whatever it is and he can't help but suddenly stress over the blip of information. in his haze of unfocus, he has missed a moment and he can't help but worry that it may be important.
once the idea has settled in his mind, he can't fend it off. he needs to know what's funny, and he sounds stupid when he manages to ask, "what are you laughing at?"
his tone is casual and easy, thank god, and it's evident that none of the trio thinks anything of his question other than the simple truth that he missed the joke. "dream kissed his cheek," sapnap answers without much thought.
george doesn't find that very funny, but he supposes it was probably an in-the-moment sort of thing and laughs anyway.
something settles inside him now he has the answer to their laughter. he doesn't know why the thought of not knowing seemed so daunting, but comfort seeps over him now.
dream and karl's hug is broken and the brunette shifts his attention to george with a cheer of his name. the brit doesn't even have to consider his actions as he gets up and lets himself fall into the other's arms, the pair of them holding each other so tight that george feels some shattered pieces of himself forging back together.
george didn't realise how much he had been craving physical comfort until he had it, and the weight of a body pressing against his own settles him unexplainably. he feels like he could melt against karl and live in his arms together.
he basks in the way that his mind goes quiet, if only for a few seconds.
"can i show you my new posters?" sapnap's voice cuts into the silence of their embrace. he sounds so excited, his happiness buzzing around them like an electric current.
his voice brings the world around them wooshing back into george's thoughts and the volume in his mind creeps up again as karl leaves the hug and turns to the ravenette.
karl sounds equally enthusiastic as he agrees, and dream seems to pitch along for the ride as they all leave down the hallway that takes them to sapnap's room.
george watches them leave, feeling the physical distance stretching out between them like a resistance against his heart, stretching him out and pulling him taught.
he knows he should follow them like dream did. neither of them are interested in anime, and therefore they don't need to share the excitement over sapnap's posters, but they're supposed to stay together to celebrate karl's arrival and bask in a vat of happiness together.
george can't help the empty feeling that sinks through him.
he can't help but feel like karl's hug with dream lasted longer than his own. it probably wasn't intentional, but george can't help but frown to himself at the thought of how sapnap had so easily stolen the attention.
sapnap could've shown him the posters later, or before on a call, but he just had to do it when george so desperately wanted to stay in the moment of their hug.
he can't find it in him to be angry at the ravenette, knowing full well that the shift of attention wasn't made with malicious intentions, but it doesn't take away from the pain george feels as he stands there, hearing the laughter and footsteps trailing further away.
he turns, making his way back to his room.
a voice in his head tells him to go back and follow them -he could steal another mind-numbing hug from karl while the brunette admires the anime posters- but he can't bring himself to do so.
george imagines how his presence would coat their reunion in darkness. he imagines how his company would ruin their fun, because he carries a cloud with him everywhere he goes, stopping the sun from shining.
they don't need him there, ruining their moment.
he returns to the stillness of his room.
a glance over the space makes him grimace, seeing nothing but coldness and pain. that doesn't stop him from collapsing back into his bed.
if he listens hard enough, he can hear the distant sounds of joy drifting from the other end of the house.
[:
i forgot to post yesterday i have no excuse
theo messaged in the server about wishing he could use ao3 or something and i was gna reply "well i still post on wattpad" then i was like SHIT I HAVENT POSTED, so sorry!!! i've posted now. also hey theo
also theo wasn't calling me out his message just unintentionally reminded me :)
love you all
-kit