To call or to not?
I huffed, turning to the other side of the bed as I've been doing for the past half an hour. The sun had already set, Ike wasn't back and Leal only woke up once more while I was taking a nap. Mom went out to buy groceries, and the way we haven't been in contact with dad made me worried about his well-being. I wondered if he was looking for us or if he's finally registered how his vile actions have pushed us away.
Although I had many missed calls from Rahila, Isoke, Abigail, Grace and even some people I don't usually talk to, I was waiting for Kenneth to call again. I missed him, or at least I missed the feeling of being a teenage girl I felt around him. What if I've successfully created a big distance between us? He's out of my league anyway.
My phone pinged.
_Theresa
_Hi. How are you?
_Everyone is worried about you.
_Typing...
My feelings softened towards Theresa. It pleased me to have someone worried about me, it being her made it better.
_I'm here if you need to talk again.
I remembered a post she made the previous week about joining a Discipleship class. I could really learn a lot and it would be more effective for me to be taught about the many things I've missed out on while growing up. To be in a community of people with a common goal, that is driving to understand Christianity better is exactly what I need. However, it's been a struggle for me to bring the topic up with her. Plus each time I was sure of myself I would imagine what people would think about me when they find me socializing with the 'Holier than thou' clique at school.
I'm always worrying about what people think about me. I could just feel the anxiety wanting to creep in on me.
Mom peered her head through the door. "Your sister is awake."
Mom and the nurse fussed over Lael while I stood behind them watching. Lael's eyes looked dull and empty, I worried if she would ever be the same again. She looked pale but mom was sure food would bring back the color in her cheeks. I doubted it.
Then and there I promised to shower her with all the love and care I have in me. I'd be the friend she'll need, I'll even be the parent she needs. "How are you?" I came to sit on the bed beside her.
Lael turned slowly to face me. I didn't expect the hug that came crashing on me. She felt slimmer than before, her head buried into the crook of my shoulders as she started crying. Mom rubbed her back. Her words of assurances sounded feeble. The nurse quietly excused herself.
Lael was shaking. "I was scared."
"Of what nwa m?" Asked Mom. "I'm always here, tell me your problems. You mustn't forget that, oh." I felt mom wasn't saying what Lael needed to hear.
"Mom, have you called Ike?"
"Oh," she searched for her phone. "I left it downstairs. I'll be back."
Once gone I pried Lael away from me slowly so I could get a good look at her face. "Tell me what happened."
She looked away. "I was just... I don't know!" She burst out. "Mom was nowhere to be found, dad was out making himself useless, like he didn't care! He didn't think about how I...we were feeling. And Ike was just busy, so I started thinking..."
"Thinking what Ify? Why would you go down that road?" I hugged her again.
"It was just the pills mom gave to us for a runny stomach. I wanted to create a big scene so they'd look at me and be worried. And maybe then dad would see that I need him."
"Oh, Lael. I'm sorry. This is also my fault. I should've let you talk to me about everything instead of shoving it aside."
She didn't object.
"From now on," I wiped the tears on her face, "Even if it's in the middle of the night, if you get those thoughts or just feel like talking come wake me up. Got it?"
She nodded.
"You have to say yes."
"Yes."
"Good." I started thinking of ways to bond more with my sister. School would be an obstacle but we're on a break. Maybe we could go to the mall, watch a movie, go to church together soon. Once everything falls into place.
My phone started vibrating. The name on the caller ID made me nervous. I answered in front of Lael.
"Erhm," I cleared my throat because of the phlegm clogged in there from crying. "Hi."
"Hey. Are you okay?" He asked, softly. "I mean, it's been a while and I've not seen you around, and yesterday I said let me stand and wait by the gate a little but I didn't see you. It seems no one is around. Urgh I'm talking a lot, sorry. I'm just nervous."
I chuckled a little so he wouldn't feel discouraged. "I'm fine," I sniffed. "Really, I am. And thanks for worrying about me."
"Sure? You sound different. I'm always here to listen if you're willing to talk."
I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "I know. So, I hope you're keeping ice cream for me. You know after eating the lemon flavor I'm craving for vanilla." Your favorite.
"Oh, yeah. Trust me to have it piled up in the fridge. My sister is threatening to finish it though so you'll have to hurry up and come back to me before it's gone."
"Who are you talking to?" I heard a rich male voice ask from the background.
"None of your business man!"
"Oou our guy is having a girlfriend," I heard loud jeers, even a feminine voice. She said, "And you didn't let me know, my heart is broken. We've to warn her guys, before it's too late." She had a foreign accent.
"See oyinbo talking," someone said. "Let us talk to her too."
"Yeah, introduce us!"
I laughed this time around. Leal pressed her ear to mine in order to hear what they were saying too. "I guess now isn't a good time to talk."
"Sorry. These guys," he said, annoyed. "When will you be back?"
"Erm," I looked around. "I'm not sure. It was a spontaneous trip but we'll keep in touch."
"Yeah. Okay. No problem. Maybe if you're back we can do whatever, like go to the movies or something. Just hanging out."
"Uhh..." I wasn't sure.
"As friends of course," he added later.
"Oh. Sure thing then."
"See his smiling face," the girl cooed. Laughter resounded at his side.
"Take care, Binu. Bye."
"Bye." He hung up.
"Who was that?" Lael bounced on the bed. "Is he your boyfriend? I saw you entering his car the other time."
"Lael!" I was scared. Of myself and the uncertainty of it all. "Shh."
"Don't worry I won't tell anyone. It'll be our sister secret," she grinned. It made me happy to see a smile on her face. We hooked our little fingers together to make it official. "So is he your boyfriend?"
"No."
"But you like him."
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you, it's so... weird. I think so."
She squealed like the thirteen year old she is.
"What's the excitement about?" Mom leaned on the door frame, smiling at the two of us. "See, I told you this break is what we needed."
I nodded in agreement.
"What of Ike? Where is he?"
"He's not picking up my calls. Try calling him Sinobi."
He didn't answer when I called either.
"Ike is twenty two, he'll be fine, mom." I didn't want to spoil Lael's good mood.
"I'll try again later. In the meantime dinner is ready. Don't get up Ify!" Mom scolded her when she tried to shift the duvet aside. I'll have the nurse bring your food.
Lael sulked.
"I'll sneak out to eat with you later, promise." I whispered for her ears only, to that she beamed.
God thank you for this joy today.
✴
Meanwhile...
Ikenna sat in the Mercedes car watching his father stumbling in the shabby drinking spot. He parked his car under a tree where the street light obscured him to the world. He clenched his fists, feeling pathetic to have a father like him. He turned away when his father held his beer bottle in the air and started shouting incomprehensible words to nobody in particular. He grabbed a waitress passing by by the elbow and started pleading with her. He wanted to look away again in shame.
But he had a motive for staying out this late. Before he goes back to school everything has to be sorted out or else he wouldn't forgive himself.
When a plumpy woman came up to his father and his expression fell, Ike knew he'd found exactly who he was looking for, the woman trying to wreck his home.
He didn't take action immediately. He watched how his father's face morphed into anger, how he pushed her away, how the woman started shouting angrily at him because of his behavior and how his father started stumbling away from her.
People held back the angry woman while he slowly trailed his father. The man ended up sitting beside a light pole in an empty street. Considering how late it was there was no surprise why no one was around. He stood before his father who had his eyes shut, mumbling nonsense.
"You used to be a great man," Ikenna said to himself.
He helped his father up, supporting most of his weight on himself as he led him into his car.
"I didn't do anything. I'm not responsible."
His father kept on mumbling throughout the ride to their house in Idi Ishin. Ikenna had a lot of digging to do. His father is guilty of his drunken ways but he might not be guilty about getting another woman pregnant.
Does that make it better? It alleviates things but does it mean his family will be okay again? No. Unless his father quits his addiction to alcohol.
Ike managed to drop his father on the couch in the living room. With one last look at the man he headed back home, the place where his mother and sisters are.
Oh how the mighty has fallen.
Hmm
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