Fury courses through my veins as I storm into the familiar office building that stands before me. A wave of nostalgia unwillingly crashes into my person as I try my best to rid myself of the memories that evade my mind.
Recollections of when I would walk into the towering building with the brightest smile on my face. Everyone would greet me sweetly and I would return the pleasantries.
That one time I brought cupcakes that were cleaned off the tray within minutes.
The last time I stepped foot on these grounds my marriage was in the firing line. I was a stranger to the people who'd gotten accustomed to seeing me. They wondered if I still held the title many wished for; being Olli's wife.
I hadn't been making frequent visits anymore because, yes, there was trouble in paradise - but nobody needed to know that, so I smiled and acted like all was fine. Mom had taught me well.
That day, I'd brought my husband lunch, I wanted us to recover what he had - to be the young Izzy and Olli who were so in love they would give up anything for each other. However, when I got to his office, I found out he was away because of a promotion he'd gotten. A promotion he seemed to have forgotten to tell me about.
But nobody needed to know that either. So I had the brightest smile on my face when I exited the building with the lunch I'd brought for my dear husband. I knew they were judging but I couldn't let that affect me any more than it already had.
I was proud of him, of course I was. But when I got home I had a little too much wine because I was a coward who couldn't deal with the fact that my husband didn't care to inform me he'd gotten the promotion he'd been talking about for months.
I was a coward because I drank to forget my troubles... to numb the unbearable pain of being married to a man who could barely look at me.
And later that evening, he threw a dagger to my injured heart - he asked for a divorce.
Today I storm into the massive building and my manners are nowhere in sight. I do not care anymore and it shows.
Each step I take towards the elevator feels like a march toward battle - my determination fuels my rapid pace. The building's automatic doors close behind me, shutting out the outside noise and enclosing me in a cocoon of anger.
The frustration and deep irritation consume me like a wildfire. The urge to action out my fury overtakes me and I feel my patience running thin with each moment that passes.
Mess with me all you want but when it comes to my daughter, there is nothing I will not do. I am not a violent person at all but today may just be the day that theory is tested.
After pressing the button in the elevator, I watch the numbers above the doors descend. Impatience gnaws at me, urging the elevator to arrive slower. Finally, with a soft ding, the doors open, revealing an empty carriage.
I feel grateful for early mornings as the building is still understaffed. I have neither the time nor the energy to fake pleasantries anymore. That Izzy is dead and gone.
I finally step inside the elevator, my fingers stab at the button labeled "16," the highest floor in the building.
As the doors close, I take a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. The overhead lights flicker above me, casting a harsh glow on my tense features. I clench my fists, feeling the surge of emotions intensify with every floor the elevator ascends.
Who do they think they are to take my daughter from me like that? Surely this is kidnapping, right?
I tried calling Olli through my landline the whole of last night and of course he didn't answer my calls. He didn't even bother sending a text to tell me Zoe was sleeping and I should pick her up tomorrow.
I lost my phone but he doesn't know that, and my MacBook confirmed that he couldn't care less to inform me of what they decided to do with my daughter.
I'm angry because whether or not they felt I was abusing his kindness, I don't deserve this. They should have said no if they couldn't follow through with the favor and I would've figured out something else.
The elevator car finally jolts to a stop and the doors open to reveal an even quieter corridor on the 16th floor. My breath is heavy as I walk toward the office of a man who took my heart and my daughter from me.
I approach the door of the corner office that's left ajar, my determination heightens as I ready myself for the confrontation that's been building up since the first unanswered call.
"Izzy?"
My mission is interrupted by the high-pitched voice that sounds behind me.
"Thank goodness you're here, I've been trying to reach you all morning, Olli was worried sick about you. Are you okay?"
I feel my anger dissipate.
He was worried about me?
"Hi, Charlotte. Do you know where Zoe is?"
I'm now face-to-face with my ex-husband's assistant.
"Olli dropped her off at preschool this morning. He asked me to call you."
Why didn't he call me himself? Why didn't he call me last night?
"Oh, I see. I'm sorry about that, I lost my phone and I can only receive calls at home right now. Glad to hear she's at school, I was very worried this morning."
I respond sweetly to her, having regained my full composure.
I'll admit I may have exaggerated the issue in my mind. But I still would've appreciated some kind of communication last night. I was given the wrong address and suddenly calls were not being answered.
I could only assume the worst. What's a mother to do?
I understand, for whatever reason, that Olli doesn't want to talk to me right now. But whether or not he wants to, we do have a child together and communication is key. We can't keep talking through his assistant forever.
"I'm sorry again for just showing up like this. I was supposed to collect Zoe at Olli's house last night but... you know what, I'll get out of your hair."
I say, deciding not to make a big deal out of this. I will let it slide... only this one time, I have a lot going on as it is.
"Last night? But you agreed on this morning."
Charlotte and I face the corner office door that's now got a one-man audience.
The man of the hour has finally decided to make an appearance, but I'm more shocked by his comment.
Agreed on this morning? What is he talking about? And even if I'd agreed to fetch Zoe this morning, I still would've been sent to the wrong address.
"No. I told Sophia that..."
As I'm about to reveal what the actual arrangement was, I stop myself.
I truly do not wish to make this a bigger deal than it already is. Not anymore at least.
If I tell Olli what happened, he may not even believe me. I could be called a liar or be accused of wanting to cause problems between them.
For all I know, he could've advised Sophia to give me the wrong address.
This whole thing has been extremely unpleasant and I have learned one thing from it; I will not be making any calls for favours to him anymore. Not even when it concerns Zoe.
I will fetch my daughter later today and she will see her father during the weeks that are reserved for him.
"You told Sophia what?"
He asks and I'm suddenly reminded that I was in the middle of a sentence.
I take a moment to look around the stylish office. My eyes land on the long white wall that adorns a plethora of accolades - a testament to his success.
A brief smile sneaks its way to my lips.
When Olli and I returned from Cambridge, we were both jobless.
He looked at me and he said he would become one of the most successful CAs in the city. That he would climb whatever mountain that would get him there.
I was proud of his determination, but in all honesty, I didn't want him to do that. I wanted him to pursue his passion for drawing and painting - the passion I later found out he gave up so he could give me a life he never had. Silly boy.
I'd hoped that his sudden interest in accounting was only a phase that would fade.
I remembered days when he would sit for hours creating his masterpieces... he was really good, and he was the happiest I'd ever seen him.
His art pieces spoke stories that only the heart could comprehend. He'd gotten a really great opportunity in London that was no doubt going to take him far. But he gave it all up for numbers.
He set about becoming the best in his field and that's exactly what he did. I never saw him draw once after that.
Now he's one of the most celebrated and successful accountants in the country.
My father may have connected him to the opportunities but Olli's resilience is and has always been unmatched.
It was a phase that never withered. Or perhaps this was always his destiny and I was the phase.
Maybe I was the bridge that connected him to the life that was meant for him.
Maybe he really has everything he wanted now. He has Sophia, someone who has been a supportive force in his life since way before I came into the picture. Someone who loves and cares for him.
Someone who's never cheated on him.
"Bella..."
The concern in his tone upsets me.
He has nothing to be concerned about. He has everything he could've possibly wanted and I am the threat that stands in the way of that.
So,
"I told Sophia that I would fetch Zoe this morning. I'm sorry I didn't come, but thank you for taking her to school. I'll fetch her later."
An unreadable expression occupies his face after my reveal, but I do not effort to decipher it.
I smile at both my ex-husband and his assistant before finally taking my leave.
A strange feeling shelters me as I walk away. My heart feels lighter, like it has finally let go of a heaviness that has been weighing on me for way too long.
Unlike when I arrived, I have a bright smile on my face when I leave. I step outside and my smile somehow widens.
"I guess that went well then?"
A monotone voice sounds from a distance and I walk closer to the man who's now standing against his sporty BMW.
"Thanks, Evin. You really didn't have to do this for me."
I hear myself respond to my boss shyly.
"You know I'll do anything for you, Izzy. Always. Are you ready to go?"
I ignore the funny feeling in my tummy as he opens the passenger door for me. I enter the car with a smile still painted on my face.