2DDLC: Element Guardians! (Sayonika + Natsuri)

Chapter Forty: Rekindling Sparks

(A/N: Oh, you've made it! Here, have a nice cup of apple juice, the journey must've been a little tiresome, no? Welcome to the next chapter! Before you begin, I would like to give a very special thank you to Dan0n5 for the character Dan that you'll see here and further on down the road, and the awesome edit they made that's in the banner for everyone who wishes to partake in the revenge for Natsuki after Monika's meanness last chapter! [She will be having a stern 'talking' to, don't you worry!]

Lil' warning: This chapter should be the last super long one you'll see in a bit! [Fingers crossed XD]. As the final boss battle, this chapter is 25 thousand words long, so please remember to take your time, regularly take breaks, and stay hydrated! Thanks everyone for reading and have an awesome day/night! -AJ :D)

Natsuki and I get to our classroom a little later than I would've liked, but we're here nonetheless and not late, so I shouldn't complain. It feels weird being surrounded by so many people again after today; and seeing them so unbothered. I guess that's good for distracting my thoughts, but it still doesn't make me feel any better about anything. The two of us take a seat at our desks, and I force myself to ignore the two empty ones in our row and the teacher that walks in. Even if it's just for legal matters, it feels really awkward all of a sudden to know they were there in that meeting this morning.

I open my bag and start to take out my notebook.

Even so, teaching isn't going to just happen by itself. And we don't exactly have anywhere else we can go if we leave this place. Especially not back home anymore..

"Well, would you look at who decided to show up?" There's no mistaking the annoying high pitched voice and the intense annoyance I feel in every muscle as Sasha. I look up from my desk to find her standing behind her desk, both Megan and Patrisha moving to their own seats. "I thought you wouldn't be able to show your face after the cafe, but I guess you wouldn't have much to lose when you're already at zero."

Clearly whatever her plan is (Although that's becoming increasingly more obvious,) works. I'm not sure if us just leaving the cafe without saying anything is that huge of a deal, but if Sasha was able to talk to Oliver and the other guys and make them think something..

I blink as Sasha's suddenly filling my vision, an annoyed glint in her eyes as she snaps in front of me. "Are you listening? Geez, what's the point of wasting my breath if you're too dumb to understand what I'm saying?"

I force myself to lean back on my chair, trying to look down at the table so I can sort of forget she's here. "Go away, Sasha. We're not in the mood."

"Clearly." I hear her finally lean back, and out of my peripheral notice her looking around the room for a moment before glancing back at us. "Where's Sayori and the other one? Are they also not in the mood?"

There's a sudden slam next to me. Natsuki has both her hands planted on her desk, staring directly at the blond in front of her. "Her name's Yuri."

"As if I have the brain space to waste it on something that forgettable."

"As if you have brain space at all!"

The girl suddenly half-laughs and half-scoffs, and I can't find it in myself to stop Natsuki from yelling. Sasha clearly finds enjoyment in it though, as she places a hand on her waist and feigns a familiar look of surprise. "Geez, Natsuki. That's pretty rude. I would watch your tongue if I were you, especially since it got you kicked out of the cafe."

Wait, what? "We're.. Kicked out?"

Sasha turns to face me with a small smirk, shrugging nonchalantly as if it doesn't matter to her. I guess it technically doesn't. "Well, you certainly aren't going to be welcomed there anymore. I'd stay away, if I were you. Just some advice."

She's lying.. She has to be. Unless she really did say something to convince them and the others hate us now, but..

"You can choke on your advice for all I care." Natsuki hisses, but her aggressiveness is only playing into what Sasha wants from her.

Sasha's smile only widens now as she realizes this too, but before she can do whatever she's planning on doing to embarrass Natsuki, the pinkette closes her hands in fists on her desk and looks conflicted about continuing talking or remaining silent. Sasha still doesn't seem all that upset about it though, and with a quick glance towards her and me, Natsuki suddenly grabs her bag from the floor. Before I can call her back or Sasha can say some sort of remark, she storms out of the classroom, shoving past people who are standing in her way.

I silently watch as she exits the classroom. She can't just.. Leave. Where is she even going to go anyway? Sure, Sasha's annoying, but she's going to miss out on school if she keeps-

It's not my problem, no matter how I feel.

Even if I suddenly want to follow her to make sure she's okay, Natsuki made her choice. One of us is going to need to stay here to take notes anyway. If the others want to leave and do whatever with their time, then that's their decision. I know this is right; it has to be! It's what someone responsible would do. And yet the feeling of being the only one left here is...

"And then there was one." Sasha's voice suddenly grows softer, and I notice her looking at me with the same annoying smile on her face. "But not for long, if I had to guess."

What does that mean? Is she trying to get us kicked out of school, too? Is this her entire plan? And are we just letting it work? We can't leave; this is all we have here anymore. But the fact that we seemingly are all falling into her trap as if she's planned for us to not be in the right mindset is making me even more not in the mood to even look at her.

I'm out of time though, as Mr. Bomes suddenly calls, "Alright, everyone. Take your seats," and Sasha turns around only after a small chuckle to sit down.

I look down at my desk to try and ignore her. We'll figure things out. It'll be okay, we just have to get through it and then I'll deal with whatever else happens. I can handle it, I just have to figure out what to do first.

Still, the uneasiness doesn't go away, and I feel myself tensing as the others are noted to be absent.

The rest of my morning classes go by far too quickly. I try to focus on the lessons, but I can't get far enough each time until I wonder if the others are okay. But I shouldn't be worried, they'll be fine. At least, it's what I keep trying to tell myself; that and that I really need to keep focusing.

I can't lie that the work and suddenness of everything is distracting, but that was before history. And now it's history, and I'm going to have to do this presentation.

Even with the practice I gave myself this morning, I still feel far too underprepared for it. I suppose any grade is better than no grade at all, so I have to rule out ditching and just suck it up. I hope Oliver didn't do anything to the presentation because of what happened in the cafe.. That's way too petty, right? The most it'll be is awkward, but this entire thing should only take around five minutes.

I slide down in my seat just as the bell rings, deciding that staring down at my desk again is better than making eye contact with him.

It isn't too long until the rest of the class piles in. I try to make myself busy by looking over my notes, but our history teacher calls out for the class to settle so he can take attendance, giving us a grave reminder about the presentations today. Oliver said he wanted us to go first, but would he still want to do that now? It's probably safer if I let him decide himself, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it.

I'll just have to do this as well as I can to make it up to him.

..I shouldn't be nervous. After all, I sing in front of tons of people for hours. This sort of thing should be a walk in the park for me.

But then why does it feel so nerve-racking? What's so different about this, besides the events that happened today? Maybe I'm just not giving those enough credit, or something..

"Okay, let's get started. Is there anyone who would like to volunteer to go first?" I feel my breath hitch in my throat. The classroom is eerily silent now as Mr. Brown glances around from his desk at the front of the room. "No takers?"

I can't avoid it anymore, and so I force myself to lock eyes with Oliver. He's staring at me back with a somewhat indifferent expression that I can't quite read. He doesn't even seem nervous for this thing, unless he's hiding it better than I am. Without a word or even a gesture though, he suddenly turns to face the front, raising his hand. "We can go first."

Mr. Brown smiles and nods at this, seemingly pleased, as he types some things on an open laptop of his. "Oliver, the brave soul! Extra points for you! Come on up, son. Who are you working with?"

"Uh, just Monika." He doesn't glance at me once as he starts to stand up from his desk. I force myself to do the same, unfortunately meaning that I have to notice all the other students turning to look back at us. "I already sent the presentation to your email, sir."

"Ah, wonderful." I assume the teacher stops typing from the way I can't hear the clacking of keys anymore, but I don't look at him either. It resumes after a moment as the two of us walk up to the front of the class, stopping to stand on either side of the board at the front.

It's more nerve-racking to look out at everyone else, especially as I notice a dirty blond haired boy in one of the front desks staring harshly at me with green eyes, not shifting his gaze even as he takes a bite from his grilled cheese sandwich menacingly.

..I'm assuming I'm just projecting now, though. After all, who can eat a sandwich intimidatingly? Regardless, I'm going to have to get used to it if I'm going to present this thing properly.

I take a small deep breath and try to stop myself from fidgeting. Just do what you practiced and then this'll all be over. It's just a stupid presentation, it can't be too awful. I just have to look on the bright side and have fun with this thing. Even if it doesn't feel fun, I'm sure it can probably be, right? Sayori would probably find some way to make it fun herself. Or she would be in the class waving or something. But she's not in this class. Or at school at all.

I left her alone.

I shouldn't have left her.. I know a stupid presentation isn't worth more than her but our futures are important too..

Is this really the right choice, or is she and Natsuki right all along? But if Natsuki's right then why would she come to school with me? I don't get it.. This should be the responsible choice, but I feel awful.. I said my feelings shouldn't matter, but it's impacting more than I thought it would.

"Okay, just before the two of you start," I force myself to listen back onto what our instructor is saying, jolting back a little as I notice the screen behind us suddenly dawns the front slide Oliver made for our presentation. "I want you both to know that you will be marked individually, with only a portion of your mark being the overall presentation."

I glance at him, a little confused. It feels weird that he would specify this, and even weirder for this to be the case since this had to be a partner or group project, but I suppose it's still early in the year and he wants to get a grasp on how we are? He didn't give us a rubric either, so I guess that's why he's mentioning this now. I shouldn't look too deep into it. It just means I'll have to do my best.

Oliver and I both nod, and as he leans back in his chair, our teacher turns to face us with one hand on his laptop keys. "Whenever you're ready."

With a small breath of his own and a sudden confident smile, Oliver claps his hands and turns to face our classmates. "Good morning, everyone. My name is Oliver, and I'll be talking to you with Monika about the Final Division War that happened in the mid-to-late 1500's. A lot of you will probably recognize this war as the Realm Battle or the Human Raid, which we'll dive into deeper in this presentation."

Oliver looks over to nod at Mr. Brown, who moves to the next slide from his laptop. Most of our introduction was research done by both of us, so I'm not surprised when Oliver glances over at me to single that this one is mine. I have to admit that Oliver is doing a pretty good job, a lot better than what I would've expected from him but I guess that's my fault for judging. I'm going to have to try really hard to do better than him..

I take a breath and raise my head a little higher. "Okay! So, the interesting fact about this war is that it started because of another one. Witch ground was used as a human battle ground, which is like the equivalent of your siblings fighting in your bedroom when you're trying to sleep, so it makes sense why witches would throw a pillow at them trying to get them to leave. Except it wasn't a pillow they threw; more like a declaration of war, which hits a lot harder. In retaliation, the humans from both sides, which happened to-"

"Uh, actually," I nearly jump as there's a voice from ahead of us, and I look over to find the sandwich guy, who was staring intensely at me, raising his hand. "The war really started when the witches found out that their creatures were being hurt in the crossfire as they were already on the verge of going instinct. They didn't actually care about the land until then."

Oh. Well, that sort of comes out of nowhere.. Is he actually right about that? I mean, the both of us did our research, but I guess it's possible that we missed something..

"Dan, what in the world?" I glance over at our teacher who calls the boy, Dan, out. There's some chuckling in the class as Dan slightly slides down in his seat, although he smiles a little anyway. "Let the two present, you'll get your chance to show off your history knowledge next. And there's no eating in my class! How many times do I have to tell you this? Lunch is in an hour!"

"I'm just supporting facts that are historically accurate, sir." Dan honestly sounds sincere about this, but that doesn't stop him from glancing at me with emerald eyes again.

Mr. Brown sighs, although there's a slight chuckle to his voice. "Well, let's be historically accurate when I say that you are putting away that sandwich. Honestly, I don't even know where you're getting these from.."

"Yup, sorry." There's some soft giggling as he glances between him and his sandwich, and decides to slowly consume the rest of it in a single bite.

Well, then. I can't say that I've seen him before, although he does look familiar. Maybe I've seen him in the halls or something? It wouldn't be unlikely, I suppose. And I guess that is sort of a good distraction to everything that's going on! Which, of course as I think this, immediately is countered as Mr. Brown clears his throat and says, "Please continue, and if anyone has anything they'd like to add, raise your hand at the end of the presentation."

"R-Right." A little bit of an awkward segue, especially as I notice Dan is still staring at me, likely judging me for my facts, but I have to force myself to continue anyway. "..Well, I'm pretty sure we'll get to that in a bit, but for what you need to know now is that after receiving the declaration, the humans from both sides-"

"Um, so sorry to interrupt," I bite my tongue as there's a sudden couple of loud knocks coming from the door forcing me to freeze. We all turn to the entrance, which shows a tall woman I recognize from the Headmistress' office, wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I can't help but notice her holding onto someone from behind her, and the pink pig-tailed hair looks oddly familiar. The woman smiles nervously at Mr. Brown, "I'm sorry, could I get Miss Salvato to step out into the hallway?"

Natsuki is staring down at the ground from behind her, and now it's pretty obvious why. Out of all times for her to do.. Whatever she did, it has to be now? As if I couldn't make this thing any worse..

Oliver and the teacher both glance at me, and I hesitantly step forward to move out to the door. I feel uneasy being watched like this, and it's only until after I walk past his desk does Mr. Brown call for me to stop.

He lowers his voice slightly, with only a little of the starting chatter from my classmates covering up his words. "I'll mark you for your slides and research on the presentation."

I can't help but turn back to him, a little confused now. "You're not letting me do this another time?"

"This academy follows a rigid structure, and if you can't make time for us then we won't make time for you. I would've thought the Headmistress warned you about this." He leans forward in his chair now and before I can say anything to him, gestures to the door. "Don't waste anymore time now."

I'm not surprised the Headmistress didn't say anything but I didn't even know I was going to be called! What kind of rule is this? "I didn't know I was... I mean, can't I do it over lunch, or-"

But I can't finish as he turns to face the front of the room where the boy stands, "Oliver? Continue on with your sections and leave Monika's out. Unless you'd like to do a quick run-down of it, you won't be marked on them."

Oliver and I exchange glances for a moment. Fine, if this is how this school is, then there's nothing I can do about it right now. I'll have to go and deal with whatever Natsuki did. I hope she's happy.

I force myself to ignore everyone else and walk out of the classroom, hearing a hesitant Oliver from behind. "Uh, okay.. Anyway, as she was, uh, saying.. The battles started because of..."

The hallway is empty and oddly quiet when I step outside. There's only the faint sounds of Oliver continuing the presentation as the door to the classroom is left open. A little further down to the left, I notice the woman from before waiting for me in front of a Natsuki who has her arms crossed, leaning against the rows of lockers.

She still doesn't raise her head as I approach them, so I turn to face the woman. "Um, what did you need me for?"

"Well, I tried to find the other two but they were marked absent, so I'm coming to you about this." She briefly looks over to the pinkette before back at me, her tone becoming much harsher now as if she's annoyed by something. "Look, I honestly don't care about any of the legal aspects or the relationship you now have with the school. All of the teachers here are used to delinquents in the making, especially from first-years, but that doesn't mean we have the time to deal with them. Given she won't listen to me, if you can talk to your friend here and tell her to stop randomly pushing and yelling at students, that would be great."

She's what?

I look over at Natsuki again, who only seems to lower her head more at the sudden accusation. Is this the reason she wanted to come to school? To make something bad happen to prove her point?

The teacher continues with a sigh, "Again, I don't care how you do it, but get her to stop. This school has no place for this kind of behaviour, and another strike will lead to severe punishment. If she's ready to behave like someone deserving to be here, she's expected back in the gym."

Without another word, she turns around to leave, walking down the hallway. The fading noise of her running shoes on tile are the only thing that sounds for a while, until she leaves entirely.

It's quiet now, save for the soft mumblings of Oliver coming from a little ways down the hall. That unfortunately allows my own thoughts to be unavoidable and I find myself staring at Natsuki. In disappointment, or.. Anger?

This is the one reason I came to class today, the reason I left Sayori back in the dorm and forced myself to move on even when Yuri stayed behind too. I tried giving her a second chance to not ruin her life and she not only almost ruins hers, but she also apparently wants to ruin mine, too. I'm just doing what's best for her; why is she being so stubborn? I could've gotten an actual good mark but because of her, now I can't.

"Are you happy?" I don't bother trying to hide my annoyance from my tone, staring her down as she shifts at the sudden question.

For the first time since this morning, she slowly raises her head to look at me. "What?"

"I said, are you happy?" I grab my waist with a hand. "You annoyed your teachers, disrupted other students, made me probably fail my first assignment which in turn likely gives us even less of a chance to go back to our jobs, and awarded yourself with a warning of expulsion all to just prove your point that something bad would happen. So, asking again, are you happy? Because the rest of us aren't."

She doesn't say anything as I talk, simply narrowing her eyes at me as if disagreeing. It's only until after does she shift on her feet again, her arms tightening around her chest defensively. "You're always so quick to assume.. This has nothing to do with proving a point. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, I really didn't, but they.. They deserved it. They were talking about LaLa, Monika! I don't even know what stupid teacher told these kids about her, but they found out. They were saying stuff! And I didn't want to hurt them, but they just kept pushing! Aren't you sick of this by now? Aren't you angry too?"

My chest tightens at the mention of our caretaker, but that only turns into frustration. Yeah, as if they know about her. We didn't even know she was gone until recently. Natsuki's just taking her frustrations out of everyone else around her, like usual. Not everyone is against her, and yet she's trying to emotionally sway me or something. Maybe this is what she did to Sayori and Yuri, but it's not going to work again. "The only person I'm angry at is starting to be you, if I'm honest. You want us to treat you with maturity but then you go acting out like this."

Natsuki's shoulders tense as her eyes widen. "Acting out? I literally just told you what they were saying."

"Let me guess, they were provoking you because they know about your powers too, right?" Natsuki stays silent to that. "Besides, if they really were saying things about her, there are multiple exits to the building. It was your choice to stay for nearly half of the day and, what, bully people? I thought you were better than this."

The girl can't even make eye contact with me anymore since I called her out. She stares at the ground for a second, her expression softening into a worried one before she looks back up intensely, though the worried gleam in her eyes doesn't go away. Although, maybe that's more of nervousness. "I-I'm not a bully.. I- You're the one who wanted to stay here, anyway! Make up your mind, do you want us to stay or leave? It's like no matter what I do, it's wrong to you!"

I can't help but scoff at the irony of that, "Uh, yeah, have you looked at your recent actions? You keep starting arguments and pushing people, apparently ones you don't even know, and then this morning you got into a fight with your father and used your magic t–"

I force myself to remain quiet, but it's already far too late.

Natsuki just wordlessly stares at me, her tough expression softening into more of a hurt one now. I shouldn't have said that, it wasn't her fault. I know it wasn't her fault. I didn't mean to mention it, it just..

How horrible do I have to be? I'm yelling at her for all the things she did wrong because she followed her emotions and yet I'm acting on their impulse instead of logic myself. I can reprimand things that she did, not stuff that wasn't her fault. My arm drops loosely at my side and scratches underneath the uniform sleeves. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, that wasn't your fault, I promise. I didn't mean-"

"..No, you did." I blink in surprise as Natsuki hesitantly speaks up, a sudden sure sounding tone in her voice appearing. "You did mean it. And that's.. I mean, that's whatever. I'm not a child, you don't have to coddle my feelings."

Natsuki tries to glance to the side but her eyes keep flickering back at me as if she's waiting for my next move. I force myself to sigh, feeling the fabric of the uniform under my nails as they scratch at the sleeves. "Look, I'm just trying to keep our futures afloat here and what you're doing right now—how you're acting—it isn't helping."

Natsuki leans back on the lockers again, uncrossing her arms to ball her hands into fists by her sides. "I know that. I'm not dumb. I'm not trying to make your life difficult, or whatever. It's just.. They make me so angry. And it makes me feel angry that they get to me."

"Yeah, I get it, we all feel that way." I pause for a moment, trying to form the right words in my head. "It's just.. We don't go around attacking people because of it. I'm just asking you to stop doing that."

"And give them the right to say whatever they want? You just want me to suck it up and move on?" Natsuki's voice sounds a little more sour now, not that I'm very surprised.

"Well, I don't know, sort of? Or at least maybe find an outlet that doesn't involve ruining your or other people's lives?"

"Are you.. Are you actually being serious right now?" She half-laughs to herself, looking around the hallway for a moment as if trying to find the punchline to whatever is so funny to her. "This is what I mean. You don't understand any of our feelings, you're just thinking about yourself!"

What is she talking about? I just said I understood how she's feeling. Unless she means the feeling of wanting to shove someone, then yeah, no, can't relate to that one. Other than Sasha, but even then I have more self control over her. How many times do I have to tell her that not everyone is just against her? "No, I do understand how you're feeling, like I said before. I just have more self control so to not act on them."

Natsuki scoffs, taking a step towards me. "Self control? All you're doing is ignoring your emotions, at least I'm actually aware of them!"

Is she serious? What even is her point in any of this? "Oh, so it really is a conscious choice to hurt people then? Sorry for misunderstanding that, that really makes you seem so much better."

Natsuki breathes out in disbelief like she's just now realizing how she's acting, but instead of taking a quiet moment to think things over, she raises her voice. "And you're any better? How did you help Sayori with her future, huh? By leaving her alone? Not caring about her feelings? And the same thing with Yuri, too!"

My breath catches in my throat, and I can't get myself to say anything. That's not what I was trying to do, and I know I can tell her this, but I feel so terrible about it that I can't get myself to say anything. This has to be the right thing to do.. But staying here for even longer just makes me more worried about Sayori and Yuri. B-But Natsuki knows this and is just trying to get under my skin, isn't she? I.. I did the right thing..

But then Sayori.. And Yuri.. They all disagreed. Am I doing the right thing if I'm leaving them behind? Shouldn't we all stick together? Maybe I shouldn't have left her or any of them, even if it comes to responsibilities like these. They're more important than those things.. Maybe.. Maybe they were right..

"And, my, look at this, you're doing the same thing with me too!" Natsuki continues with a sarcastic bite to her tone. "You're just trying to shut me up so you can get a good grade and have a good reputation! You don't care about any of us! Not even me!"

I'm- I'm forcing myself to be at school for them! I did everything today for them! "Of course I do! Do you even know how worried we were when LaLa suddenly freaked out when we told her you were gone? When she was worried about you and telling us to go find you and then the call got cut off because she was worried so much? Do you even care that we had no idea where you went and had to force ourselves to find you despite our panic because you couldn't even pick up your phone? I was worried sick about you! About all of us! I'm the only one trying to keep us together and the only one dealing with everything that's happened today! You're not the only one going through things!"

"..I-I didn't know you called.. I do care for your information. I'm not the bad guy here. You can't even begin to imagine how I felt when I.." Natsuki's voice shakes, and she takes a strong inhale to steady it. "A-All you have to do if you really care is to sympathize a little; with all of us and yourself. That's all I'm asking. I just.. Lost my dad, okay? I know you wouldn't understand but you could at least try."

There's a brief silence between us.

I fidget with the cuff of my sleeves, lowering my voice to a softer tone. "I.. I do understand, for the record. I'm not saying I know how you feel but I lost my father too. I didn't even get to meet him until I-"

"Uh, no, you don't understand." I feel myself bite my tongue as Natsuki suddenly interrupts me, a sudden sterner gaze being glared back at me. "You didn't even get to meet your dad. You probably don't even care that he's gone. I dreamt about that moment for years, Monika. And it ended in a flash."

My chest tightens with the unpleasant feeling of frustration again, and I can't help but narrow my eyes at her. "Excuse me? I didn't say I know exactly how you feel, but I do know that I care about him and that I dreamt about having a family too."

Natsuki shrugs far too nonchalantly, putting a hand on her waist slowly. "Well, yeah, but it's not like you actually got to meet him. He hugged me and we were so close to having what I always dreamt of. That's what hurts the most; it just.. Was so close to becoming a reality."

I feel my shoulders stiffen and force my hands to relax openly by my sides. "I'm sure it does hurt, but so does finding out that a parent died before you could meet them."

"So what? You can just forget about him now." Natsuki's voice raises slightly. "You got over his death in, like, an hour! Me and my dad- We're different. That's why I'm feeling like this! You can't compare to that!"

"Well, you can't say that I'm not upset about my father either! Just because I'm not shoving everyone in my way doesn't mean I'm still not upset by everything. I'm not trying to compare our trauma, I'm just-"

"That doesn't just make you better at handling your emotions! No one knew your father or cared about him–you didn't even know him! You can't just say I should get over it too when yours didn't even do anything!"

Is she-

I feel my breath hitch in my throat. She can't just talk about him like that; he died protecting people! What.. What has her father done? I said I wasn't going to compare our parents but she- She can't talk about him in that way! "My father died because he was saving living beings! What did your dad do that suddenly makes him so special?"

Natsuki's expression instantly hardens and she drops her arms to her sides. "He- Your father isn't some perfect god or something! You can't even talk about him like that, you didn't even know him!"

"Oh and you knew yours? You sure did get some real father-daughter bonding time when he was pinning you down with a bat, right?"

"Shut up!" Natsuki yells now, and I can't move in time to avoid her shoving me backwards. I catch my footing quickly though, almost laughing at the irony of the fact she's resorting to this now. "Y-You weren't there! You don't understand anything!"

"You know, I'm starting to think that maybe your father isn't even that bad of a guy and you're the one who just provoked some kind of fight." I watch as Natsuki takes a step towards me again, but with a step back of my own, I smile humourlessly at her. "Aw, I said something you didn't like, didn't I? What are you going to do, push me again? Like everyone else you do it to when you can't get your way?"

Natsuki tightens her hands into a fist again, eyes tracing me as if she's trying to summon another fire ball to throw at me. She didn't do that on purpose before, at least I thought she didn't, but at this rate she might. Still, if she does anything, she's just proving my point, not that I'll be surprised if she does. That's just the way Natsuki is; she acts all big and tough when really she's a hurt little kid inside. I mean, I was even trying to be sympathetic towards her, but of course she finds some way to ruin that too.

"I.. I knew you didn't care about any of us and this just confirms it. But you know what? It doesn't matter because I could care less about you, too." Natsuki tries to say something edgy or cool or whatever, but her bite comes out far too weak and she just stands there like a useless little kitten. She turns around and starts to walk off after, realizing she can't win a fight against me since she's in the wrong.

I can't help but scoff at that, rolling my eyes as I watch her start to walk down the hallway. If she wants to ruin her life, then that's not my problem, especially not now. "Yeah, and you go ahead and burn more people alive."

I'm about to turn around and head back into class until I notice Natsuki suddenly stopping.

Her hands ball into fists by her side, the slightest bright glow flickering in them until it dies out just as quick as it appears. She turns around to face me, eyes finally focusing directly at me. Her expression is serious but dull, and it's only until then I realize she's treading towards me, only getting quicker as she approaches and I'm not fast enough to-

"Hey!" I yell as she shoves me back in the lockers. My back and head sting as they come into contact with the metal and the lock itself, and I'm forced back as she pushes and pins me by my shoulders.

"Say it again to my face, I dare you!" Natsuki's voice screams and her eyes flare up angrily. "Do it! Call me a monster!"

I didn't call her anything like that!? Why is she—

My heart pounds as she yells again and lifts one of her hands from my shoulder, throwing her fist at me. I just barely catch her wrist in time, fighting her to push it back from me. "W-What is your problem?!"

Natsuki tries to do the same with her other hand, but I force my own hand up quickly enough to snatch her wrist. "What's wrong?! Say it! I know that's what you're thinking!"

She's stronger than I thought and I struggle with her for a moment, unable to say anything. What is she doing?! I didn't say that at all! She's- She's fighting me for no reason! And dammit, it hurts! I don't know how much of it is my own adrenaline or if I'm just holding onto her wrists that tightly, but my skin scratches and burns fighting her like this!

I take a sharp breath and use all the strength I can to push her back. It works as she stumbles back, but in a swift movement I keep a hold of her wrists and throw her against the lockers herself. My hands feel warm as I let go of her, hearing her grunt as she hits the metal. Her head bounces back, and I force her against the lockers in the same way she did to me; holding down her shoulders. She yells as she tries to wriggle out of my grasp, but I keep my hold against her strong so that she doesn't do anything else.

She let her frustrations get the better of her and actually just tried to hit me! After all I've done for her today- After all I've done for her all the time! She says that I don't care, but here she is throwing away her life! I'm the one that's going to have to deal with us getting back into the cafe, and dealing with the school and teachers and the Headmistress. I'm the one who has to deal with all the stupid stuff she pulls because she doesn't think of anyone else! I'm the one who has to deal with the feeling of being encased by a raging fire again because she couldn't- She couldn't just calm down! Why am I the one who has to deal with everything when the others get to do whatever they want?

They can just stay home or sleep the day away or yell at whoever they want because they know that I'll still be here trying to cover for them and fix all of their mistakes! How is that fair? How is it fair when I want to push people too but I can't because I'm supposed to be the responsible one? Why does she get to get away with yelling and trying to fight me just because she wants to?!

She yells again and tries to lift her hands again, but I force her arms against the metal, almost effortlessly now. She's growing tired, likely because she's getting weaker; it's making it easier for me to keep her down like some kind of weak animal.

If she wants to throw her life away, then it's not my problem, no matter how I feel.

A hand moves to grab her neck, the other to the side of her head. She's weightless and not quick enough to stop me from pulling her forward and then back into the lockers. It bangs! as her head hits the metal. She screams as the second sound of metal rings, and I force her head back to hear the satisfying sound of it again.

She's light and it's nearly effortless and it feels good. She causes problems for everyone else but she can't handle it when someone else causes some for her. And now I understand why Natsuki pushes people around so much because it feels good to get your anger out on someone who causes it.

The sound of impact is satisfying. I pull her back and force her head into the locker again. The hand around her neck tightens. Her hands pull and tug and scratch and dig at the wrist holding her up but her flailing is useless. I force her back again knowing that she can finally understand how it feels to be the one hurt this time because of someone else, and how helpless you feel.

And how she deserves—

"Monika."

The breathing hitches in my lungs and I freeze. My hands are holding onto the smaller girl tightly. Natsuki yells something, squirming in my grasp as she struggles to not get hurt from my hold.

I'm holding her against the metal, metal that's dented behind her head.

It's dented and tinted with red.

My hand holds her neck as she tries to make it let go, the other one holding her head.

Tinted with red?

What.. What am I..?

Natsuki's gasps are harsh sounding.

How did I..? I didn't mean to-

My grasp is still tight around her. I let go of her and pull away. She drops slightly, leaning against the line of lockers as she catches her breath. I take a step back with both my hands burning from where they held her.

I didn't mean to hurt her. Why would I hurt her? She's- Is she bleeding? I didn't mean to hurt her, I didn't.

The metal behind her is dented and uneven and spots are slightly tinted with slight brown that makes my breathing quicken.

I couldn't have hurt her that bad. I didn't mean to hurt her that bad.

What kind of person hurts someone that badly?

What kind of friend hurts someone that badly?!

I said I wasn't going to let my emotions dictate my actions and I hurt-

A sharp pain starts in my stomach, one that comes with a harsh force and pushes me down to the tiled floor. It's cold and hard and it stings when my hands land on it, but I can only focus on looking up at Natsuki who had kicked me. She takes another strong breath in and regains her balance, but her expression isn't hurt or sad. She's smiling.

"F-Feels nice, right?" She breathes out heavily. My body can't move and doesn't bother rising to a stand. "'Cause I deserve it. So what are you waiting for? Get up!"

I don't move. Natsuki pushes herself away from the lockers to reach me. Her foot slams into my ribs and stomach again causing me to yell at the same pain I probably caused her, forcing me to fall back against the floor again. Her voice shakes now as it sounds over the ringing of my head hitting tile, "Hurry up! Do it! You know I deserve it!"

"All I do is ruin people!" Natsuki yells again over my own as her shoe kicks into my stomach again. She presses her weight down onto the bruise that's burning, causing the pain to spread. "People like me deserve to die!"

"Fight back already!" She slams the heel of her shoe again into the same spot and puts her weight on it and it's hurts and I can't move. I try to force her off by pushing her ankle, but she stays firm and my hands burn even more now. She and I are both yelling something, but the noise starts to get drowned out by the sudden colours that fill my peripheral.

There's footsteps scrambling on tile as more join the group and the yelling gets louder as Natsuki finally bends down. I grab her wrist right before she can try and hit me with it again, her knee digging into the burning that's already on my stomach. She's yelling something, but the noise around her is so loud that all I can do is see her. And she looks scared even as I hold her back. I know she doesn't mean what she's saying because I didn't mean what I said. But she's not stopping, and just as I grab her other wrist, I realize she's standing up.

Not voluntarily though; she's being dragged back to a stand, and I have to let go of her as there's a sudden grasp around me that starts pulling me up too. I instinctively try to wrap an arm around my stomach, but something restricts my arms to my sides.

There's some yelling and a command that sounds through the crowd and it's only then do I notice there's some sort of light blue transparent barrier that stands between where me and Natsuki were. And from behind it, Natsuki's pulling and yelling at a teacher that's trying to keep her place.

I don't bother resisting the tight grasp that is probably from another teacher that holds me still even though I want to. I let myself stagger back, following in pace with them, the only person who I end up looking at being Natsuki as I catch my breath.

She doesn't mean that. She doesn't mean what she said, not about herself or me or my dad. But my stomach and side aches harshly and my heart pounds so bad that it hurts and the skin on my arms burns into a rash, and it's only until now that I can finally realize how Natsuki feels when she gets angry with herself because she's angry at others.

It burns more when the fabric rubs against my skin, but I can't stop myself from scratching my arms anyway. Either because of its sudden uncomfortable feeling or because I'm uncomfortable myself, I don't know. But it doesn't matter; it's probably a combination of both.

The clock in the Headmistress' office that's ticking down to note the amount of seconds we have been surrounded in silence for is annoying and intimidating, and it's the only thing I hear after the loud hallway we were in before. The chairs in front of her desk feels even more uncomfortable than they were this morning, and I force myself to just cross my arms and lean forward a little to comfort the pain in my stomach again. Out of everything, that probably hurts the most. I'm not sure how hard Natsuki kicked me, but it's hard enough to have a lasting effect, apparently.

Speaking of Natsuki, I glance over at her sitting in the adjacent chair. She sits with her arms crossed, leaning back against the wooden frame board while keeping her head low. She didn't look at me once when we got escorted here. Not that I blame her.

The woman, who had been pacing back and forth behind her desk thinking, finally sighs to break the silence. Natsuki and I take this as our cue to glance up at her, the Headmistress planting both hands suddenly on her desk. Natsuki flinches, but the woman doesn't seem to notice or care. "Well. I can't say I'm surprised but I honestly thought I wouldn't see you here so soon. Did you just decide to do this out of retaliation for what I said to you this morning? Is this your form of.. Grieving, or whatever?"

Natsuki and I don't say anything. There isn't any reason to; it isn't any of her business and I doubt she cares in the first place. Still, I can't look at her directly, and as Natsuki slides further down in her chair, I gaze past the woman at the file cabinets and bookcase behind her.

"Alright, well, I'm just going to follow procedure here then. Who started it? Who got hurt? Whose boyfriend did you talk to in the bathroom yesterday?" I would assume she's joking but her voice is humourless and unamused. I glance at Natsuki who is peering at me back, the two of us silently staring at each other for a moment before looking away. The Headmistress doesn't appreciate our collective and continued silence however, as she groans softly in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Did the both of you make some pact not to talk? Honestly, what do you want me to do here? I've already found out that the other two are skipping, and now you both do this. If you think you can disrupt this school again just because I can't threaten to contact your parents then you're both wrong. I know we just signed for you to be under the care of this school, but any more quarrels like this and we'll need to kick you out. And I don't think I need to tell you how difficult it will be finding employment opportunities without a graduate certification, unless you wish to be a street performer or something of the like. Am I clear?"

I reluctantly mumble an agreement, not really desiring another fight or weird comment from the woman. Natsuki slides further down in her seat but mutters one of her own, and with a nod fueled more by annoyance than resolve, the Headmistress wordlessly walks around the desk and opens the door to her office. The two of us leave just as silently as we entered, feeling her unbreaking icy stare until we leave the office entirely.

The lobby is a little louder than this morning, but that doesn't exactly make me feel any better. There are a couple students seated on the couches and tables chatting, or teachers conversing off to the side quietly. I close the curtain door to the office from behind us, and glance over to Natsuki. She's not saying anything, just looking down on the ground again with her arms crossed.

Should I say something to her? What can I say? What do I even want to say to her? She can't go back to class, I'm not sure if either of us can at this rate, and the cafe is probably not the best place for us to be right now either. Do I just tell her to go check on the others..? Does she want to do that? Should I apologize for hurting her or should she apologize herself first?

Ugh, I wish I was better at this.. But I can't just let her leave without us saying anything, right?

Of course just as I think that, Natsuki starts to walk past me and to the hallway where our dorms lead. I take a few paces towards her, but before I can call out to her asking where she's going, she briefly turns to face me for a moment, grumbling, "Bathroom," before continuing off.

I nod at her even as she turns back around immediately afterwards. It'll probably be awkward if I just follow her, and I have to assume she wants to be alone, so I guess I'll leave her be.

...

But standing here by myself isn't making me feel any better either. Doing nothing means that I am forced to have to deal with the pain from before. I didn't feel it all that much before, but my hands and arms burn a little in an uncomfortable itchy sensation and my sides are still sore.

I can't just stand here, I've gotta at least do something productive. It's a brief thought; that I should go check on Sayori and Yuri now that I can't go to class anymore, but that's just making me remember about my failure as a friend and everything that led up to now.

Maybe Natsuki's right. Maybe I am just trying to ignore things.

But what good will facing them directly do now, anyway? The day's barely halfway over and I haven't done anything productive!

..Mrs. Lilia said that the library was open for us, right?

Yeah, I should go there. Lunch is always busy for her, and she could always use some help. Then I can actually say I did something helpful today; she deserves the help especially after getting us those gift bags too. I'll just head over there to help her, and to do nothing more.

I start towards the library, forcing any other doubtful thoughts to the back of my mind so that they aren't distracting.

And just as I suspected, the library is quite populated by the time I make it there. Even as lunch is just starting, there's quite a few people studying or doing assignments at the tables around the place. Not that I should be surprised, I guess, considering what your academic average has to be to get into this school in the first place. Maybe I should be studying more often too, after all I just got told how strict this establishment is.

I force myself to sigh to ignore the annoying festering feeling that starts building up again. That doesn't matter now, what's done is done, and there's no point in thinking about it anymore. I suppose now I should go try and find Mrs. Lilia.

Hesitantly walking and and aimlessly looking around doesn't seem to be garnering any results, and so I decide to head over to her desk near the side to see if she's staying there.

That reminds me, did I ever ask her if we needed, like, community hours or something like that to graduate? Given the Headmistress is apparently keeping information from us, I should probably ask her sometime if helping her out counts. Not now though, of course. This is me trying to pay her back for getting us something, but maybe tomorrow. It's good to be on top of these things so that it doesn't sneak up on us. Or me, I guess.

Ah, there she is.

There's a tall woman by a long desk she owns, it being filled with stacks of books and papers. Like the last few times I've been here, she looks a little swamped with things to do; heck, even her jacket and glasses look more disheveled than they were this morning. Looks like I came to find her at the right time.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lilia." I nearly jump myself as the woman leaps out of her jacket, almost dropping the stack of papers she's trying to staple together. She turns around to face me, and I have to smile apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"Oh, Monika, it's just you." She sighs in relief as if she's expecting someone else, chuckling softly to herself at her own scare. "No worries, dear, I'm alright. Just trying to get things sorted here. Oh- But- Did you need me? Are you alright?"

I internally cringe at the sudden change in demeanour as she stares at me with an unexpected worried expression. I don't know how it slipped my mind given I'm trying to make up for her giving us gifts, but I guess I forgot why she gave us them in the first place. Still, I'm going to have to move past it to help her. "I'm fine, I just figured you'd need some help since it's always busy around this time."

She doesn't seem to appreciate this all that much, as her only reaction is a deeper frown and a slight tilt of her head. "Ah, well, that's very considerate of you, but are you sure you're okay..?"

I resist the urge to tense up a little. I get she's trying to be nice or whatever, but can't she take a hint? Guess I'm gonna have to convince her, and so I do my best to smile and nod with energy that's not entirely there. "Promise! So, what're you working on?"

"Well, if you're sure.." She still doesn't look all that convinced but she moves on anyway, which would sound nice except for the fact that's she's still talking way too slowly and hesitantly.. "I'm just organizing some of the new books that have come in. With students returning them and asking for some that I haven't had the chance to get yet, it's just a little hectic trying to put these back and then order more, you know? But that's what I'm paid for I suppose, aha.."

"Need help? I can help you with it." I enthusiastically volunteer even more this time, but she slowly takes a step back.

"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to waste your time with-"

"It's fine, I'm not busy!" I swiftly take the stack of papers from her before she can say anything else, not that she would be able to given how slow she's moving. Maybe she's tired? "Where do you want these?"

Mrs. Lilia blinks in surprise for a moment before chuckling softly, gesturing towards her desk. "Well, thank you, then. Just put it on my desk for me."

"Sure. What are the piles of books for?" Even with as long of a desk that she has, the books she's sorted takes up most of the space. If we can clear those off, she'll probably feel a little less overwhelmed.

Mrs. Lilia slowly steps in front of the desk, looking at the piles. "These ones to the left are ones that I've been meaning to put back on the shelves. I still need to register the ones on the right, though."

I step around one of the carts she uses to transport books around and set the paper stack down on the nearest empty spot. The book piles are surprisingly large, but I guess with how big this library is, I shouldn't be all that amazed by it. You know, I could probably use those carts to pull them around.. I doubt she'd mind, as long as they don't have too light of a weight limit and break.

So with a nod I move across the desk and pull one of the piles back, sliding them off the table. It's a little bit of a mistake as the books are heavy and I nearly drop them by underestimating their weight, but I force myself to pull it together and keep a stable hold on them.

"Oh gosh, are you sure you don't want me to help you with those?" Mrs. Lilia's once again concerned voice sounds from behind me. I can't help but feel a little frustrated at the fact that I clearly can handle it, but I guess she's just someone who's worried about a lot of things or something. "There's quite a few of them."

No! Really? I'm shocked.

Ugh, what's wrong with me? She's being so nice and here I am being a brat to her.. Internally, anyway. I'm not going to take my frustrations out on her like I did to Natsuki; her of all people deserves it the least.

I can't risk myself staying with her for any longer than I have to. Besides, there being so many is going to keep me away from her for a while, so hopefully whatever I'm feeling can leave before I ruin even more of my relationships.

I just shake my head in dismissiveness to her, grabbing the last of the books and placing them on the cart. I guess it is sort of strange how there isn't some sort of magic spell that could put all of these back into place, but I'm not going to try and get these things taken away from me. "They're not too bad. You don't mind if I take a cart, do you?"

"Of course not.." Her voice is soft and slow again. Well, there we have it! With the books all safely placed on the cart, I glance at the first cover of one of the top ones. Looks like I'll have to go to the science-fiction aisle first then, wherever that is. Alright, finally, let's get some actual work done.

Sayori would probably say, it's time to roll! or like, let's roll out! or something silly like that.

..Right. It's not fair to think about her, especially after I left her.

"I'm just.." Mrs. Lilia's voice catches me off guard just as I'm forcing myself to push the cart out. "Are you sure you're alright? I heard you and Natsuki got into an altercation-"

"We're fine!" How could she have heard about it that quickly?! Does news really spread that fast in this stupid place or is it so boring that two girls throwing hands is the most interesting topic in a school fueled by magic? Whatever the case is, I don't have time for it, and I don't want to be reminded of everything! Why can't she understand that? "I'm going to put these away now, good luck with everything else!"

I don't care if Mrs. Lilia just blankly stares behind me, or even if she tries to say something afterwards. I know I can't spend anymore time just standing here doing nothing, and so I take it upon myself to keep moving. The cart really is heavy, but I'm able to push it easily enough to the side of the library where I remember she mentioned the fantasy books reside.

Science-fiction might be somewhere close, right? And even if they're not, I'm sure I can find some sort of fantasy book in here with how many there are.

I can't lie that I feel sort of bad for just leaving Mrs. Lilia there, but I'm not going to think about that right now.

I move towards the aisle at a steady pace, trying to scan the titles of the books on the top of the cart. Mostly history or math books, not as if I expected anything different..

I sigh softly, a useless attempt at getting rid of my unease. Time to start putting these away..

Aaand there.

After forcing the comic in the correct spot in its series and closing the protective plastic casing around it shut, I push the box that they're held in back into the shelf. I can't lie that getting to explore the library for specific locations like some kind of treasure hunt is fun, and good at distracting most of my feelings. And it's all while being productive too, which is the best part of all!

I step back and turn to face the cart again to find out where I'm off to next, but it's empty. That wasn't the last of them, right? There's no way I've finished them all so quickly..

But examining the cart only proves that it's deprived of any hidden books, and I have to admit defeat, looking around aimlessly.

Well, great. I finished. That's what I wanted, right? Maybe Mrs. Lilia finished registering those other books by now so I can put those away next. Although with how slow she is today, she's probably still on the first one.

..Or maybe I shouldn't talk to her in the slightest if this is how I'm going to think about her. I force a soft sigh. Geez, I know I'm a little off today, but I thought I was better than this.. Then again, the argument I had with Natsuki proves that I'm not as detached from my feelings as I prided myself to be.

And wonderful, now I'm back on that. I haven't been distracted for less than a minute and I'm already thinking about all the negatives.. I've gotta do something, but there aren't any more books for me to store..

It's only until now that I realize looking around actually becomes useful, because I notice a rather large and colourless book laying on top of one of the comic boxes. I advance towards it, pulling it out curiously.

An encyclopedia? One about deceptive spells, no less. Whatever those are. This definitely doesn't belong in the comics section, of all places. Honestly, if you're going to put away a book or pretend to study, you might as well try to make it blend in a little bit better or just leave it on a table..

After all, this library is huge and Mrs. Lilia seems to be the only person looking after it! And given that I haven't seen her use any magic to sort the books, she probably has to find these the long way to put away. Then again, I guess because the library is so big that people don't have the energy to walk all the way back to the section they found these books in to put it back, which means there are probably a lot more around the library.

A lot more that are out of place and could be useful to those who need them..

Well! One man's garbage is another man's treasure, right? Or however the saying goes.. Regardless, I suppose I should be thankful that people are distractedly just putting books anywhere.

I grab the book and place it on my cart to put it away later. It'll probably be more effective if I look at the shelves row by row.. It's probably going to take a while, too!

I pull out the first box from the far end of the shelves, looking through the comics. All of these seem to be in order, but let's see if there's some out of place books in the other ones.

And there were quite a few, surprisingly. Most of them were just out of order in the series that they're in, but some were from a completely different series. Not to mention the fact that due to the shelves being tall that I have to skip a few boxes of stuff, but I've managed to grow quite the collection from just one section of the library. I ignored the manga section- By a complete accident obviously, didn't even know we had one until I passed it, but that didn't really matter as I was able to find stray books in the other sections too.

By the time I get to the fantasy one, which is by far one of the largest sections, the cart's about just as full as it were before when it had been filled with the old books. I slide the eleventh instalment to a series in place. I'm currently surrounded by graphic-novels, and although I can get how novels can have that many books in a series, I wonder if the artists ever get tired from having to draw the same characters for eleven long books in a row? I suppose it might not matter to them, since they're getting paid for it, but it's still curious. I guess that would be like asking if Mrs. Lilia got tired of reading books after working in a library for so long?

..Hm, or maybe not.

"There you are." That sounds oddly familiar, with an oddly familiar voice as well, and I turn around to notice Mrs. Lilia walking down the aisle to reach me.

I can't help but notice that Natsuki's also with her, this time keeping her head lifted and staring directly at me. I'm tempted to ignore them and keep working, and I honestly decide to do so as I turn around and face the cart of books again. It's sort of petty, I guess, but if Natsuki said something to Mrs. Lilia now too, I don't really want any part of it. Even if I'm a little worried about how she's doing after today.

Mrs. Lilia continues despite this though, and I force myself to look busy by rearranging some of the books I've gathered. "We've been looking all over for you, aha. Still working on these ones, hm?"

"No. I finished putting those away. I'm rearranging the library now."

"..The entire library?" Geez, a thank you would be nice. I suppose I did force her to accept my help though, but she doesn't have to sound so disappointed by it.

I force myself to glance at her slightly, not looking at Natsuki. "What did you need me for?"

"Oh, well," Mrs. Lilia looks at the pinkette for me though, the smaller girl probably still not returning to her gaze. "Natsuki wanted to talk to you and I haven't seen you in a couple of hours so I figured we would make sure that you're alright together."

A couple of hours? There's no way I've been here for that long.. I would've heard the bell ring, right? Although, I guess it's possible that I missed it being as focused as I was.. Whatever, that doesn't matter. "I'm fine."

I mean, I was pretty fine until they decided to show up, but I can't tell them to leave when it's Mrs. Lilia's own library. Speaking of her, Mrs. Lilia just slowly nods again like she did before, shuffling on her feet a little. "You.. Must be tired though, right? Maybe the two of you can sit down in my office and take a break together?"

The last time I took a break I basically ruined my friendship with Sayori and the last time I spoke to Natsuki I hit her head into metal, so I doubt combining those two things are really going to do either of us any good.

"No, that's not necessary." Before I can say it, Natsuki does, and I force myself to glance at her. She's staring at me back, crossing her arms with a sudden serious expression. "Look, I just can't find Yuri and Sayori."

Can't find Yuri and Sayori? Did she look for them at all..?

"What are you talking about? They're both still in their dorms." I don't mean to sound unenthusiastic, but Sayori and Yuri literally both said that they were going to stay there for the day, and they didn't seem like they were very inclined on going anywhere else.

Natsuki rolls her eyes as if she's better than my question, scoffing slightly. "I checked there. They're not there. And before you say anything, yes, Sayori left your guys' dorm room unlocked and so I looked inside, and she wasn't there."

I turn to fully face her now, my heart dropping. So they left their dorms, big deal..? I mean, we all leave our dorms, don't we? Of course, as much as I think this, there's an uncomfortable uneasiness about the thought, and I can't help but soften my voice a little. "Is that the only place you checked?"

"No, I couldn't find them outside on campus either. The cafe was closed when I went out and they weren't inside, I checked, and they weren't in the forest at our old training-" Natsuki pauses for a moment to glance up at Mrs. Lilia briefly, turning back to lamely cough in her fist. "-Old chilling spot. And they're not with Mrs. Smith either because she said she would've kicked them out. She wasn't joking about that, by the way."

Okay, that's not great. That's definitely a little more worrying. How long was Natsuki looking for them while I was here? It must've been a little bit if she was able to look all over the place for them, right?

My eyes linger back on the cart of books besides me, and I have to focus back on Natsuki. "..What about at school? They're probably just going to class, like I suggested."

The lasting confidence I feel dies out as Natsuki shakes her head, her frown tightening. "I just searched the entire building; as much as I could without getting yelled at, I mean. I thought you left with them or something like that, and I hadn't checked here yet, so that's why I'm here. But based on your questions, I'm just gonna assume you haven't seen them."

I nervously swallow, shaking my head slightly as well. "Not since this morning.."

"Well that's just freaking fantastic.." Natsuki tries to be angry about the situation, but her voice trails off into a worried mumble.

Part of me is feeling worried now; this is unlike either of them. Not only do we not have many places to go, but they didn't seem like they wanted to leave. And at the very least Sayori isn't feeling all that great.. There's no way something could've happened to them, but then where else could they be?

I could've prevented this if I didn't go to school.. But I just- It was their choice to stay! How could I have known they were going to run off? It's not my problem if they got lost because they're running away from their responsibilities! It's not.. But any time I've thought that, it doesn't feel right. 

I mean, every time I think I'm doing something right, something happens and makes me doubt myself even more. How am I supposed to make a clear decision if I don't even know what to base my decisions on? Logic's telling me I had to be productive but no one agreed with me on that end, and now Sayori and Yuri have disappeared, yet being emotional just causes me to get into arguments and fights..

But yet, glancing at Natsuki's stern but slightly growing concerned expression, I think the two finally agree on what choice I have to make. I know for a fact that they're both my best friends, and I have to be there for them, no matter what happens. We made a promise to each other, didn't we? And I'm not going to keep breaking it.

"Well, that's all I had to ask you." Natsuki's voice suddenly brings me back into reality, and I notice her hesitantly starting to turn away. "I don't care if you don't care about them or whatever, just wanted to ask."

"I do care." I say it as firmly as I can. Even if Natsuki doesn't believe me, she still pauses and turns back to face me. "We'll go find them. I don't know why they would've left but-"

"Really? You don't know why they would leave?" Natsuki's tone is instantly hostile and it comes out of nowhere given she was so worried about everyone before.

I get she's probably still mad at me for arguing with her but seriously.. "They chose to stay, Natsuki, so no. I don't know why they did."

Natsuki just rolls her eyes again, turning fully around now. "Maybe it's because you said you didn't care about them and ditched them, but I dunno, just a hunch.."

Alright, I'm getting sick of her attitude now. I get I messed up, but her acting like she's so much better when she clearly doesn't feel that way and especially doesn't act like it is getting frustrating. "I never said that, and if I recall you sort of left them too. Real great friend you are."

"A-At least I went to check on them! You're still here, ignoring them!"

I bite back the retort I had and force myself to move on. We're not finding them any faster by arguing about why they left, and if both of us don't have any ideas on where they could be, then we need all the time we can get. So I push past both her and the librarian, walking out of the aisle without turning to look back at the pinkette, "I'm trying to check on them now, quit delaying me."

Natsuki scoffs, and I look back just enough to notice her catching up to me. "Oh, I'm so sorry for wasting your precious time, your highness."

"Drop it." I lead us through the library and towards the large double doors of the entrance. "We're not going to find them any quicker by arguing."

"All I'm trying to point out is that we wouldn't have to find them if you listened to me in the first place.." Natsuki mumbles defensively and trials off, and I force myself not to comment on it as we reach the hallway.

If Natsuki really means what she says, that she can't find them at all, then I doubt looking in the same spots is going to accomplish anything unless they return. I suppose the easiest way for us to get in reach with them would be by calling them, so I take my phone out and reach Sayori's contact first.

The ringing doesn't sound any better than when it first sounds this morning. Even as I glance at Natsuki, who's standing across from me, it doesn't make the annoying nerves go away. It especially doesn't go away as the ringing continues, and a familiar automated voice sounds from the small speakers in the device. All I notice is Natsuki shifting her weight, moving to lean against the lockers behind her as I cancel the call.

I try to call Yuri next, but as the ringing goes on, Natsuki sighs heavily. "Don't bother. She's not going to pick up."

I abide by canceling the call, but I still glance skeptically up at Natsuki. She just looks off to the side, crossing her arms defensively. "If she's not answering you then she's definitely not going to answer the phone to me."

My eyes trail down at the phone in my hand, the screen showcasing the small list of contacts again. "Then maybe you should call Sayori, since it's probably the same case with us."

"Already tried." Natsuki mumbles, and the two of us are left in an unsatisfying silence as the soft murmurs of the library surround us.

I sigh softly after a little while. We aren't getting anywhere just standing around here like this. Sooner or later we have to be able to find them, right? If we just look for them, then maybe we can catch up to wherever they went or find some sort of clue to where they might've gone.

..Although I wasn't really ever great at playing detective, they might be in trouble.

And so I pocket my phone again, gaining Natsuki's curiosity. "Let's go outside and see if we can catch them coming back. For all we know, maybe they went shopping to get their minds off things."

It's clear even to me that the slight reassurance I try to show isn't very effective, but Natsuki still nods and shrugs. "Worth a shot, I guess."

I suppose she doesn't have anything to argue with me about if she's going along with me that easily then. Which is a good thing, right? That, or she's just worried about them too much. Probably both.

Regardless of the situation, the two of us make our way through the halls and school. Neither of us have anything to talk about, so we don't, just focusing on trying to get out of the building as quickly as possible. The end of school makes it loud, especially when we get down to the main lobby where friends are grouped up together or leaving to go out. I can't lie that everyone having fun today is making me a little envious of them.. But I guess it's my fault why we can't have that, so that's not entirely fair.

Forcing my head down when passing the guards to leave, the two of us stand outside in the crowded campus. Even with my uniform, I can still feel the sharp bites of the wind as it carries its cold air into us. It looks like the outside hasn't gotten all that better either, with dark clouds looming the sky as if threatening rain and the constant cold persisting. Even the once beautiful cherry blossom trees look upset, drooping slightly as if their dull pink leaves have become too much of a burden. But I suppose it matches how I feel pretty accurately, so I can't really complain about it.

Now that I'm outside though, I'm not really sure where to go. From looking around, I can't see either of them, so they haven't arrived at the school yet. Maybe they did go into the forest? It's been a comfort place, for some of us at least, so it wouldn't hurt to check there.

I turn to Natsuki politely. "Should we try the forest again in case they went back to it?"

Natsuki looks a little hesitant for a moment, or maybe nervous? It doesn't seem to be a big deal to her though as she shrugs it off and nods, and so I don't bother to ask her about it. Maybe she's afraid of burning another tree again, or something.

The two of us head over to the woods silently again, as this seems to be the end of any conversation the two of us have. To be honest, I don't really have a plan looking for them, which is probably what's making me so uncomfortable in the first place. If I knew where to at least look, then we could probably find them quicker. But if they haven't been found in any of our normal spots, then what really are the chances of them returning there..?

Although, it's not as if the two of us have any better ideas at the moment.. We'll just have to do what we can, I suppose.

I really wish I didn't mess things up.

It has to be somewhat my fault that they're missing, right? I mean, Natsuki's been making the same point for the entire day, and it has to have some truth behind it if it's proving me wrong.. I just thought that we couldn't afford to lose the few things we still have! How wrong was I, huh? I guess that ironically made me lose even more of what I had..

Nice freaking going, Monika.. Maybe if I were less stressed about the situation, I could laugh about my stupidity.

"Monika!"

Hm?

Natsuki and I reached the entrance of the forest a little while ago, and while not entirely immersed in the tall tree and uncut grass, I'm surprised someone else is out here. I can't lie that getting called out constantly is becoming a little annoying, but I try to focus on my curiosity more than anything else.

I stop and turn around, looking for the sound of the voice. There doesn't seem to be anyone here.. Am I just going crazy with stress..? I notice Natsuki stops as well when she's sees that I've paused, and it's only until then that I finally catch onto the small flash of black and red that whizzes past.

The small bird flies back around as if he's flown too fast for even him to keep up with, hovering in the air just in front of us both. "Hiiii! I saw you again! Two times! That's super lucky. Did you do your super important rushy thingy?"

I force myself to sigh lightly again, trying to shake off my lingering annoyance. RedStripe hasn't done anything wrong, and I'm not going to be mean to him just because I'm having a bad day. Besides, he's just a kid, and without him I wouldn't have been able to get the address to find Natsuki.

..Maybe he can help us now too, actually. "Hey, RedStripe. Do you think I can ask you something?"

The young bird gasps, energetically flying up a little more as if he can't contain his excitement. "I like asking! You can ask!"

"Have you seen our other friends?" I gesture towards Natsuki so that he recognizes that she's here. She looks a little confused, but I guess that's to be expected. "You know, the other girls you usually see me with? We can't find them, and we were wondering if they were here."

"Hmmm.. Nope! No other humans! And I've been everywhere!" Any hope that's even just started to show itself is immediately kicked back into a box in the corner as RedStripe answers.

I can't help but let the disappointment show as I have to solemnly nod. I don't know what else I was expecting, but some luck would be nice.. Should we even still check in here then? I mean, the forest is huge, and we can't waste time! Besides, I don't exactly trust anyone else to help us look, which means it'll just be us two as well. What if they're in serious danger somehow? I know they're capable of taking care of themselves, but we're all a little off today.. Am I overthinking it? Could they really be hurt at the moment?

"But I did see that magical wolf you're friends with!"

So much for asking for help, I guess. We'll just have to handle this on our own, like we-

"Wait-" I glance up at him again. "You saw what?"

"Yeah! The one you asked me to push off the branch, with the very pretty black wings, just like mine!" RedStripe giggles, spreading his wings as if to show me. The red feathers underneath them are a stark contrast. "See? Pretty like this!"

My breathing hitches in my throat. "W-Where? Where did you see her?"

"Oh, easy-peasy! She was following the flow of the river, the one that's aaall the way down there, see?" RedStripe flies past both me and Natsuki, stopping just short of some trees in the direction of our old training area.

Of course she would go there! But she was following the river? Probably to not get lost, right? That means that we might be able to find where they went if she's still near it, we just have to follow it! "RedStripe, thank you! You're seriously the best!"

If I could give him a hug I absolutely would, but I'm not entirely sure how to hug a bird, especially one as small as him without running the risk of hurting him. But I really wish I could, because I haven't felt this hopeful nearly all day!

"I know!"

"I'll see you later, thanks again!" Now that we actually have some sort of idea on where at the very least Yuri is, then we don't have any time to waste! I wave RedStripe goodbye and start in the direction of the river, calling Natsuki to follow, "Come on!"

"Uh, where exactly? Not all of us can speak dumb bird, you know!" Natsuki exclaims, stumbling to keep up with my pace.

He's not a dumb bird.. Just for that, I'm staying silent until we get there. I don't care if it's petty, it's for RedStripe. Although, I doubt he would want me to be petty anyway.. Whatever. I can't lie that it feels somewhat rewarding to not answer her questions after her comment, and to speed up whenever Natsuki yells from behind me, "Can you at least slow down a little?!"

I don't, not until we get to the river. I drop my pace as we reach the large tree, trying to catch my breath as quietly as possible as Natsuki finally joins me from behind, breathing much more heavily herself. They're not here, and although that is pretty disappointing, at least I know where to begin looking for them.

Everything here looks the same from this morning. My eyes subconsciously glance down at the large tree, noticing the small shards of the Rehaddo that were once by its trunk aren't there anymore. I suppose it isn't too hard to believe that a magical object can be magically summoned. Or tracked down, I guess, but I would rather no one else but us have come here. I know we don't own the place or anything, but it feels like ours..

And it's going to be ours again, when we find everyone.

Taking a few more deep breaths to regulate my breathing, I take a few paces towards the river. The water lightly crashes into the pebbles and sticks floating by the edges, the waves moving downhill and to the left which goes further into the forest. If Yuri did what RedStripe said, then that means she went that way, following the river. For how far, I'm not sure, but I guess we'll find out.

I begin briskly walking next to the river in the same direction as the water flow, looking forward to avoid seeing Natsuki, who grumbles and follows besides me slowly. "Stop being all mysterious and tell me where we're going. Please."

She adds the last part reluctantly. I don't really know why I feel the want to be this petty with her.. I said I wasn't going to be, after all. That doesn't mean I can get myself to look at her though, and so I just sigh quietly. "RedStripe saw Yuri following the river downstream. We should be able to find her if we follow it as well."

"And exactly how long is this river?" Natsuki bitterly questions.

I can't say anything to that, so I don't. I have no idea; we never followed it ourselves, we just sort of used it as a meeting point since it's so recognizable. I suppose she does bring up a decent point, but it doesn't matter how long we have to follow it until we find them. In the end, as long as we do, that's all that's going to matter.

Still, I mentally prepare myself for a little bit of a walk, and hope that the afternoon sun stays up even behind the clouds.

Ugh..

My legs are starting to cramp at this point. Everything is starting to cramp at this point, actually.

I suppose in my haste I might've forgotten the actuality that Yuri was in her wolf form, a form that lets her traverse faster than us on both ground and air. And this is assuming that she was following the river the entire time, since we haven't seen her during our walk at all, even when calling out to both her and Sayori.

It's also possible that I may have missed the fact that I should've asked GoldenBlaze for help again too, but that would've been a bad idea. I can't keep relying on others to just carry me when it's my own fault I'm slacking, especially when I have nothing good to return the favour with. I mean, I tried that with Mrs. Lilia, but she didn't look all that grateful for some reason..

Ah, I left the cart there, too. I'll have to go back and put all the books away and finish organizing the library for her. I can't just leave my unfinished work for her, after all.

But as I glance back to where we left from, and where the library is, the thought of working more is making me even more exhausted. And to think I actually enjoyed doing it before.. It sure doesn't feel like that way now.

It's also just occurred to me that we're going to have to walk this entire distance to get back to the school, even if we don't find the others. And that thought must've passed through Natsuki's mind as well, as it's only until now that I hear an overtired groan from beside me.

I stop at the sound of something falling to the grassy terrain, which hasn't been aiding the walk in the slightest, and look back to see a burnt out Natsuki sitting on the ground. She stretches her legs out, wincing at the aches she probably feels in them.

Geez, I know we've been out here for.. How long has it been? Long enough for it to get colder as the sun starts to make its way behind the clouds even further now, I guess, but we don't have time to rest. We have to find the others as quickly as possible.. "Natsuki, what are you doing?"

"Suffering." She winces again as she massages her calves, her eyes glaring up at me as if I'm the one who caused her pain. "But really, take a guess."

Okay, so maybe we've been following this never ending river for a little longer than I thought, but I'm sure we're getting close to the end. We can't give up now. And we especially can't give in to annoyances.. "Come on, get up. We aren't going to find them any quicker by just sitting there."

"We aren't going to find them any quicker if we wear ourselves down to the point of being immobile." Natsuki argues, overreacting again.

"We can take a break once we find them."

"Oh, so in twenty years?" Natsuki's voice pitches higher in sarcasm, and she gestures to the water we've been following. "This thing is never going to end!"

I have to ignore her snarky comment as my brain is apparently far too tired to attempt to think of something to say back. "I'm sure we're getting near the end. Just a little further."

Natsuki scoffs now, "How do you know? Did a little birdie tell you?"

Alright, forget it. I don't know why I keep trying to be gentle when it never works with her, and I'm getting far too impatient to keep dealing with her. "Get up. We're going."

Natsuki just turns her head away from me as if she's trying to block me out. "You can go and wear yourself out. I'm going to take a break."

Well, great, that works for me. I won't have to keep hearing her complain or be angry at everyone every three seconds. She can do whatever she wants, and I'll find the others myself then.

"Fine." I turn around, ignoring the fact that she doesn't even seem to care that I'm leaving her behind. It's not as if I need her approval, and she can take care of herself just fine. If anything, she's proven that at least.

Almost as if trying to retaliate to my decision, my muscles burn as I take only a couple of steps forward. We were walking at a sort of quick pace, yeah, but I didn't think we'd get burned out so quickly, or at least before finding the others. But that doesn't matter, I don't deserve to just take a break after everything I've done. Besides, I'm not going to stop when I've already told Natsuki I'm leaving, so I force myself to power through and stay steady, continuing to follow the riv-

"Monika, enough."

I jolt at the sound of ES's voice, but that only makes the stringing increase tenfold. I don't have a choice but to stop in place, trying to take calming breaths as quietly as possible to not show my discomfort.

ES, I thought I told you—

"Sit. Down. I'm not giving you an option." I don't think I've ever heard ES sound this firm with me before, ever. I can't lie that it's actually intimidating, at least a little, and I'm not sure if that's due to the fact that I have to imagine a face to go along with her voice. And it sure doesn't look all that happy of me.. "You need to rest, at least for a short while, if you're going to make it to them. If you don't, you're simply sabotaging your chances."

I know what she's saying is true, but thinking about resting doesn't feel right. I can't take a break when I know they could be in trouble. I can't take a break when I know that I don't deserve one, especially after today.

"Do not allow me to be the smart one and hold this over you for the rest of your life. Because I will. Very insistently."

I can only glance off to the river now, feeling myself internally pout in response. I don't know if that's a joke or not (Somehow I don't think it is..), but she's unfortunately making quite the case to my petty mindset. But so what? What if I don't sit down? What's she going to do, attack me as a twig?

But what if I don't sit down and I don't find the others? After all, do I really want to find them without Natsuki? I don't want to leave her after we just got her back, and I don't want to feel helpless if I can't find them before I completely shut down..

I slowly turn back, dejectedly sitting down under a tree a little ways from Natsuki. I don't really want to look at her given I've basically just doubled-down on my word and I'm sure she noticed, but I hear ES hum softly in what I assume is some form of acknowledgement to my actions. Honestly, me sitting down is probably still going to get to her head, now that she knows she can boss me around. It's worth the future suffering if I can find the others though.

And I suppose I didn't really realize how long we've been walking for, as the moment I stretch, there's a wave of stinging that floods through my entire body. Geez, I really hope they didn't follow the river all the way, because this thing has been going on for miles. I'm not even sure what part of the forest we're in at this point. My eyes glaze over the flowing river that's the only sound in the forest now, its surface reflecting the darkened sky above. I guess I should've brought some water and food before we left, huh? Some kind of responsible person I am..

I lean back against the trunk of the tree, shifting uncomfortably as everything feels stiff. My curiosity gets the better of me, and I glance over to see Natsuki stretching her legs out, uncomfortable basically written on her face. She suddenly looks up and over at me and I force myself to look away before she can suspect anything. She probably just thinks I'm an idiot.

..I think I'm an idiot.

I only jump slightly as ES suddenly clears her voice, her tone much softer than before. "I've heard that apologies are a custom in human language, one that helps to at least attempt to bridge a broken connection."

..And where have you heard that?

ES hesitates for a moment as if she's not sure herself. I'm pretty sure it's because she isn't sure. "..That doesn't matter. Ugh, Monika I'm- I'm trying to subtly tell you to apologize to Natsuki, alright? I cannot just feed you answers all the time."

I subconsciously feel myself pulling at the strands of the grass underneath me, looking down at the forest floor.

I've just been trying to do what's best this entire day! I know she lost her dad, and I'm not saying that something like that isn't traumatic, but the least she could do is help go along with things a little! I mean, she didn't even seem to care that we were all so worried about her. She thinks that everyone who disagrees with her hates her, but that's not true! I tried to do everything for her, for all of them, and all that's gotten me is having us split up causing even more stress. Besides, she's the one who told me to get over my dad and the one to shove me first, all because she-

...

All because she hates herself. She hates that she's angry at others and she wants to feel consequences for it.

The words Natsuki said during our fight before rings through my head, and I feel myself lowering my head in guilt like a house pet caught in the act of destroying furniture.

All she wanted was some time to process what happened, but I was too busy being worried about what would happen if we lost what we have that I didn't try to keep what we actually did have. And that basically caused me to lose just about everything because I was too focused on the future than the now. ..Just because I didn't want to face the present like a coward.

I clench the blades of grass a little tighter now.

Sayori was right. Of course she was, she always knows us better than we even know ourselves. I really was just...

I glance up and at Natsuki, who this time had been glancing at me too, apparent from the sudden jerk of her head to face the river. Her eyes dart back to look at me though as if she's expecting me to turn around too, and then they remain looking at the river across from her.

I really am the biggest idiot ever, aren't I?

I wonder if there's an award for this kind of thing.. Not that it matters, since it's pretty clear what I have to do now. And not later.

Moving after finally taking a break makes my body burn in protest, but I force it up anyway with a couple of sharp breaths. Natsuki seems to notice that I've stood as her shoulders tense a little, even in her relaxed position.

I slowly make my way over to her, sitting down a little bit away from her to give her space. After all, I don't think she wants to be around me very much after what I did to her today. I can't blame her, either.

The only sound is the river and the faint calls of birds into the evening as the two of us sit silent. I glance at the river as Natsuki avoids eye contact with me, and it suddenly occurs to me that I probably should've gone over here with at least some form of idea on how I was going to apologize. Seriously, I'm supposed to be the organized one..

Trying to come up with things to say after having moved closer towards the pinkette is starting to feel incredibly awkward, and although I rack my brain to come up with something smart and clever that Natsuki would appreciate, everything I think of sounds cheesy and stupid. She definitely does not have to forgive me, I know that for sure. I'll honestly be surprised if she does after all this, but I just need something..

Oh, you know what, whatever. I haven't planned anything out this entire time, why would I start now? Except for the fact that if I say anything stupid here my chances of even talking to Natsuki again are at zero, of course, but she appreciates openness, right? I guess who doesn't appreciate openness is the right question.. Whatever, I'll just.. Do it. Natsuki deserves it.

"Um, Natsuki, I'm.." Ah, this is already failing as an apology. Why am I so terrible at this? If I'm going to do stupid stuff like I did today, I should at least be good at apologizing and making up for it! Natsuki just slightly shifts at me talking, but she doesn't look back to face me. I take a short inhale, willing myself to glance at Natsuki and continue. "I'm.. I'm sorry. I'm really stupid and dumb, and I'm the biggest idiot I've ever met and-"

Oh, wait, I shouldn't be talking about myself. This is an apology for her to her, she doesn't need my selfishness in it! "Uh- Wait, no, I'm sorry, that's not what I.. I mean, I did mean that, I am really stupid, but like, I didn't mean to talk about myself like I'm just being all self-pitying because I wasn't. I'm not, I mean. Like, you know that I'm stupid, and my stupid brain only just realized it like.. Wait, sorry, I'm doing it again, um, I'm just trying to say that I'm sorry. For.. I mean, for this, obviously, but for basically every choice I've made today. Because you were right, and I'm sorry I kept doubting you and ignoring you, and I'm sorry I forced you to go to the cafe and to school when you shouldn't have had to deal with it and with everyone there, and I'm sorry that I kept arguing with you on how you felt, and I'm sorry I didn't show that I cared about you, and I'm sorry I said your dad was useless and- And that he didn't do anything wrong, and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable and for fighting you and hurting you and then not believing you were telling the truth and then arguing with you again when you were just trying to find the others and- Oh, and I'm sorry for leaving them behind because of my own selfishness and- Geez, I didn't realize how long this list was, aha.. N-Not that I'm trying to make light of it! I-I'm sorry for that too, and I'm sorry for being petty and becoming the worst friend you could ever have!"

I try to catch my breath as silence now surrounds us, and my brain begins to yell at that awful.. Whatever that was; calling that an apology would probably be an insult to every apology out there. Part of me isn't even sure if I mentioned everything, and another part of me isn't even sure what I mentioned to her in general. But it's not enough, as Natsuki still refuses to glance at me.

But that's okay. This is the only outcome that I expected, and the only one that I deserve. Would it be better if I leave her be? Should I ask her if I should go or-

I jump as my thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of Natsuki whimpering, lowering her head as her chest shakes like she's trying to hold herself from crying. Ah, I knew I shouldn't have-

..Or is she trying to stop herself from.. Laughing..?

Her soft whining is becoming harsher snickering, at least I think it is, as her chest shakes with her barely concealed laughter. I blink in utter confusion, and it only becomes clear which of the two is happening when she slowly raises her head to turn to face me, a smile hiding behind her hand and a light gleam in her eyes.

But.. I didn't say anything funny.. In fact, it would be perfectly understandable if she were crying, or if she were yelling at me for what an awful self-centered apology that was, or if she just fully ignored me and gave me the cold shoulder and I got the message to leave! But she's not, which makes me far more nervous than if she just punched me again.

"You-" Natsuki speaks up, but is promptly interrupted by her concealed giggling. She tries to clear her throat to get rid of them, but her smile remains. "Ahem. No- No, yeah, that's- I mean, that's a lot more words then you had to put it, but I hear what you're saying, Chief. Loud and c-clear—!"

The girl tries to mimic a salute, but it only gets about halfway complete before she erupts into another bout of snickering. I don't know if this is some stress response or something, but whatever it is doesn't matter because I knew I should've shortened it down! Saying it all like that probably just reminded Natsuki of all she had to go through, and that's why she's so stressed right now! I can't even apologize right without hurting her! Should I even say anything to her? Would it be okay if I apologized again or would that just be annoying her? Should I just make sure she gets back home safely after dragging her out here and then let her have her space by never talking to her again?

"Monika, you- Oh- You're not.. You look really concerned." Natsuki suddenly calms herself down enough for us to make eye contact, and I can't help but shift uncomfortably. "Oh man. I thought that if I were laughing then you'd.. But you're right, I should take this seriously. Okay, I'm taking this seriously, starting right now."

She slaps her hands on her knees as if to center herself, and to her credit, her expression does change into a more stern one. I guess this is where she tells me to leave. "I.. I am sorry. Really sorry. Like, I don't really know why you're apologizing for everything because part of it was definitely my fault.. Like, some of it was yours though, for sure, you are such a jerk at times that I don't even know why we've kept you around so long. Heh.. That's uh- A bad timed joke, sorry. I just- I can get annoying and stuff, and I really was just arguing with people who didn't deserve it that much. Like, I was just an angry porcupine shooting spikes out at people, y'know? Oh, uh, bad analogy? You're not friends with a porcupine too or something, right? Shouldn't have said that, my bad. I also, like, didn't mean to call your bird dumb. I was being pretty petty there myself. And, yeah, I dunno, I didn't think you actually cared when you did and I didn't really show you that I cared about you all that much either. I was just really angry at everyone and looking for the worst in them. Like a grumpy squirrel during hibernation or something. ..I don't know why I'm using animal analogies. No offense to any angry squirrel you've met during hibernation. I don't even know if hibernation is happening right now. But yeah, like, I'm sorry for being a little bit of a jerk too and stuff."

I stare at her wordlessly, noticing her suddenly becoming unable to maintain a steady glance at me and now opting to look at the ground.

She's.. She's apologizing? But I'm the one who messed everything up! She has nothing to apologize for! She was just upset due to my pushing! I mean, yeah, some of the things she said and did sort of hurt, but that was just because I kept poking a sleeping lion and then expecting it not to get annoyed.

But before I can say anything, Natsuki suddenly chuckles a little, folding her knees in towards her chest. "Uh, wow, I'm sorry. That was really bad."

You know, maybe her laughing is becoming infectious, or maybe I'm just tired of being angry all day, because I can't help but smile a little at her. "It, absolutely, was not. Did you listen to mine? Although, I can't blame you if you wanted to block out that awfulness.."

I hope that didn't sound too harsh.. But I'm guessing it didn't, as Natsuki suddenly looks back up at me with a grin and a growing giggle in her voice. "Oh no, Yuri and Sayori left the two worst people to apologize together. Do you think they planned this?"

She doesn't hate my guts all that much! And she's also a little bit right, isn't she.. I can't help but chuckle a little at the thought, "For their sake, only one of us can be bad at this, and from hearing both sides I'm pretty sure you had the better one.."

"What?" Natsuki gasps loudly and this time I know she's being overdramatic. "No way! I was going on about squirrels and random stuff. I was freaking out! Yours actually sounded sane!"

I laugh, gently reaching over to poke her shoulder. "You literally laughed at mine!"

"Well- I mean- It was funny!" Natsuki can't hide the truth any longer, now finally laughing loudly. "But like- I'm not good at words. I apologize by bribing people with cupcakes so that they have to come crawling back, ya know?"

I perk up. "Does that mean I get cupcakes?"

"And it always works like a charm." Natsuki snaps her fingers as she reveals her fail-proof ways, and the two of us fall back into, admittedly exhausted, laughter.

I guess I should have her apologize more if I get cupcakes out of it! But that's probably missing the entire point of an apology, huh? I can't lie that it feels nicer than anything has in a long time to just be sitting here laughing with her, especially with everything that's happened today. But that just reminds me of what did happen, and as we calm down to catch our breaths, I meet Natsuki's eyes. "I really am sorry. You were right about what you said, you know, and I should've realized that sooner instead of pushing you around. I was being really insensitive to your feelings, just like you said I was, and that wasn't fair to you. I should've probably listened to the people who have to deal with me, huh? So, I'm sorry."

"Oh geez, don't make me combust from sap!" Natsuki chuckles, waving her hand dismissively only to wave me forward more. "What're you sitting all the way over there for, anyway? Move over, it's not like I'm gonna hur—"

I blink as Natsuki suddenly forces her mouth shut, causing an unnatural silence to suddenly envelope us like before.

"Um.. Never mind.." She glances at me for a minute before turning back to look ahead of her quickly, as if trying to brush it off. It's a sudden change from us just laughing moments ago..

...

I stand up, my body hurting far less now, and I move right besides her. I plop down next to her, colliding my side into hers and causing her to sway a little. Even with the nudge she doesn't perk up though, her only reaction to the interaction being her tightening her grasp around her legs and lowering her chin onto her knees.

The only way I can convey it further is by softly leaning on her a little, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I know you wouldn't hurt me. Not unless I really deserve it, in which you have full permission to slap me. Twice, if you need to."

I chuckle quietly, but the lightheartedness doesn't seem to reach the pinkette as she just shakes her head roughly. "No. I promise I don't."

"I believe you. You're not a bad person, Natsuki. I promise you're not. You were scared, and stressed, and angry at the world for mistreating you. And you have every right to be." I keep my voice soft as I feel Natsuki tense again. "And no matter how angry you feel, whether that be at me, or Sasha, or anyone, know that you're still a good person. Because you are not your feelings, no matter what you think. The Natsuki I know is kind and witty and clever beyond it all."

"But I still hurt people. I hurt you, twice. Yelled at Yuri too.." Natsuki mumbles slightly inaudibly, lowering her head fully now in her knees.

I force myself to sigh a little, nodding quietly. "..Yeah. Yeah, you did. But you were scared the first time, and every other time was my fault for pushing you. I mean, I got angry and hit you back, so I guess it's something we'll both have to work on."

Natsuki doesn't look at me back though. She just continues to feel tense, silently shaking her head at my words. I drop my arm and shift myself to face her directly now, gently rubbing her hands that cross over her legs. I feel her entire body flinch at the contact, but I hold onto her gently.

"Natsuki, look at me." She sighs shakily, only now starting to lift her head at my demand. I meet her eyes that glisten with guilt and worry, and with all the sternness I have, I grab both her hands into mine and look directly at her. "You are not a monster. You never have been and you never will be, do you understand me? You deserve to be here and live a normal and fair life, and having that taken from you doesn't make you a bad person. I'm truly sorry that I didn't act this way to you, but I promise that I will always care about you. Not just me, but Sayori and Yuri do too. Heck, you should've seen how determined Yuri was to use her wings just to reach you. We will always go back to find you if you leave, and we will always be by your side when you need the support. I promise."

Natsuki doesn't say anything. I keep a determined stare aimed at her, not letting her go once. The uniform starts to irritate my arms again, but I continue to have a strong hold of the girl. I don't know how else I can convey what I need to, but I'm not going to give up until she understands that I'm telling the truth. After what feels like hours, Natsuki finally shifts her weight, slowly blinking and sniffling a little.

"..Um, are you telling the truth? And did Yuri really care that much..?" Natsuki mutters and I nod intently, not breaking eye contact with her. She suddenly looks off to the side, turning her head in an attempt to hide her expression. "Geez, I thought you hated me.. Stop being so difficult all the time, you're so insufferable."

I chuckle lightly, a little taken aback at her sudden change but not unwelcoming of it. "I thought you hated me. Besides, I figured my apology gave away the impression that I tolerated you somewhat, unless it really was that bad of an apology."

"Well-! I had to wait all the way until the end of the day to hear one from your stubborn butt!" I let go of Natsuki so she's able to cross her arms and pout, glancing at me from her peripheral view.

I smirk at the irony, leaning forward to face her. "You're calling me stubborn? You only apologized fully until after mine, you know. And I'm still waiting on those vanilla sprinkled cupcakes."

"Oh, please! I couldn't just give it to you, that is not how I conduct business." I smile as Natsuki chuckles a little, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands before she heaves to a stand. "Alright, well, let's forget that this conversation ever happened and go find our friends. We've kept them waiting long enough."

I nod, rising to a stand myself from next to her. The two of us look at each other for a brief moment, and I extend my hand, smiling softly. "So, still friends?"

Natsuki looks at me and scoffs, and a small sense of doubt starts to form until she smiles again. "If you think I'm going to ruin my reputation as a cool kid by giving you a handshake like an old man.."

Ooof course. I can't help but chuckle a little as Natsuki closes her hand into a fist instead, and I comply by giving her a fist bump.

Natsuki immediately groans once the two of us continue our walk along the riverside, "Ugh, you were right when you said that I can't get rid of you easily."

I smile at her sweetly. "You're still going to make the cupcakes, right?"

I can't help but laugh loudly as Natsuki throws her hands up in exasperation suddenly. "Oh- Would you stop it with the cupcakes? We just had a heart to heart! You're becoming worse than Sayori and I didn't even think that was possible. You guys are like, exchanging brain cells from sharing the same dorm!"

"W-We're not that close!" I have to ignore the sudden embarrassment that courses through me and snickering that comes from beside me. "Besides, doesn't that mean that you and Yuri will become more alike, too?"

I'm able to notice the sudden flustered look on Natsuki's face instead, and I smile proudly at the turn around. "No! We stay as far apart as we can from each other all the time! We don't like- Share a bed or anything!"

"I didn't say anything about sharing a bed.."

I can only smile slyly now as Natsuki digs herself even deeper in her hole, and she concludes her embarrassed stumbling of words with a soft punch in my arm that only causes me to laugh more. "Mortal, do not test me, or I will take up your invitation and slap you."

The slight ache in my sides and stomach returns, and I gently wrap my arm around it. "Oof, you'd probably be better kicking me instead. I didn't know you were that strong."

Ah.. I should not have said that. So much for being sensitive.. I drop my arm and immediately turn to glance at Natsuki, but before I can even say anything, she just chuckles and rubs the back of her head. "Don't underestimate yourself too! I forgot how strong you are yourself."

"Are you okay, by the way? I really didn't mean to do it that hard. I don't even know how I did, to be honest.." I worriedly watch her, noticing her nodding nonchalantly and dropping her hand.

"Oh, yeah, I'm good. It doesn't hurt as bad I thought it would, which is sort of weird. But I should be asking if you're okay. Like, I kicked you hard."

I chuckle a little. I'm surprised she's so calm about something like this, but I guess considering we both hurt each other, she's not all that upset. I'm just happier to hear that I didn't hurt her as badly as I figured I did. After all, I thought she was bleeding and that would be extremely problematic considering it was the back of her head.. As long as she says she's okay, I suppose I'll just have to believe her. I still really should get Honey to take a look at her, though that's for another day. If Natsuki wants to move past it, then I will as well. "Yeah.. But I'm not going to be okay once the others find out we actually fought."

Natsuki groans softly, looking far more pained about imagining the disappointed looks of Sayori and Yuri than her actual bruises. "I swear, Sayori's going to make us doing something dumb, like hold hands for an hour as Yuri tells us off for not keeping it together."

Huh, I actually didn't consider that. Whenever Natsuki and Yuri would have arguments, I usually took pleasure in watching them suffer in the corner as Sayori made them hug it out or talk to each other. But I didn't actually realize that she would be having us do it. Even if we tell her that we already made up, I doubt she's going to let that slide, especially since we physically fought as well.. Oh man, I always laughed at how embarrassed Natsuki and Yuri looked, but now that I'm the one feeling embarrassed.. Karma, I suppose.

Although.. "What they don't know can't hurt them, right..?"

"Wise words, Chief. Wise words." Natsuki points at me, smiling knowingly as I laugh a little at her. She sighs contently afterwards, and then I suddenly notice she widens her eyes as if she realizes something before turning to face me with a proud, albeit suspicious, smile. "You know.. This kind of reminds me of an old situation. You might remember it.. You know, the time when you moved my manga?"

...

She is not doing this right now.

Natsuki must've seen my reaction and found absolute joy in it, because her devious little smile widens and she holds up her hand as if to stop me from speaking. "Now, I know it's been a while since my annual ritual of bringing it up, so allow me to remind you once more."

I honestly can't help but groan as the same annoyance that's haunted this moment since it happened is brought up again, and I cross my arms over my eyes in exasperation. "I said I was sorry, like, forty times!"

"No, no! I think this is a great learning experience for all of us here today. Maybe that angry squirrel can take a few notes here." I don't even have to look at Natsuki to know she's taking great pleasure in this, and from previous experiences I know that no amount of pleading will get her to stop. "So a long time ago, there was a little, precious, innocent Natsuki, who had been saving up money for years to buy the next manga in Parfait Girls. And then she finally was able to go to the store and buy it, and what a wonderful day it was! And then, when she returned home, she put it in the same spot she puts all her manga, where everyone knows it sits and where not to touch it."

At this point she isn't even mad at me anymore, she just fully enjoys seeing me suffer. Which, after today, is quite fair, and it's honestly nice to see her wanting to tease me after it all. So I sigh loudly to let her have this one, dropping my arms to stare deadpanned at a very animated Natsuki as she continues, "But then! To the horror of everyone! She returns back to her generously shared room and her mangas are nowhere to be seen! They all disappeared! Was this an act of revenge, sabotage, perhaps? Oh and little poor Natsuki was heartbroken! All of her dreams, crushed, and the culprit didn't even leave a trace to follow!"

"It was Cleaning Day!" I stress. "Your manga spot was collecting dust-"

"Ah, ah! I'm not done!" I grumble audibly in annoyance as Natsuki holds up her hand again, smiling proudly. "So, little Natsuki was all alone, all sad. But then she asked around, and the pieces suddenly started to form. And that's when she realized.. It had been that mean ol' Monika! How could she not have known? She even thought it was Yuri, but Monika only used her to throw Natsuki off her tracks! And then Monika made some lame excuse saying she moved them to "clean", but Natsuki knew she was lying and was just jealous of her! After all, how could she not be? Natsuki had better reading tastes than her, she was so much smarter, and better looking, and more talented, and-"

"I will leave you behind!" I quicken my pace to get ahead of her yet this only seems to fuel her story as she jogs to try to catch up to me, causing me to break out into a sprint ahead of her.

"And Monika was still jealous of the Great Natsuki to this day!"

"Ooh, what's that? I can't make out what you're saying, you're too far behind!"

"They hated Natsuki, they hated her because she spoke the truth!"

"Is that a cave?"

Natsuki and I had been walking for some time. I'm not entirely sure for how long, but not longer than before. At least, it didn't feel as long as before, and although we both are starting to feel the fatigue return from before, it isn't as intense. Which is definitely a relief given that this river really does seem like it never ends. I honestly think we looped around at one point, but I suppose when you're adventuring in the forest without any other trail markers, it all can look the same to you.

A lot of the walk was spent listening to Natsuki talk about her manga, or about random trivial things that she felt the need to bring up. It's.. Weird, how casual she's being with me. I know she said she's over it all, but I still can't feel guilty every time I glance at her noticing that she had to hurt more just because of my selfishness. I suppose that's just karma though; without guilt you'll just be destined to repeat the same mistakes, right? I'm going to have to work hard to make it up to her somehow. Make it up to all of them. ..Not that I'm sure how though, but I'll figure it out some-

"Squid, did you hear me?" I blink as Natsuki waves a hand in my face, grinning widely as she notices she's sparked my curiosity. "That got your attention, huh?"

I roll my eyes playfully at the nickname, which is something I'll have to talk to her about another day, (It literally doesn't even make sense in translation!) and shake my head to focus on her. "Sorry. What's up? Do you want to take a break?"

"Only if there's a cave in front of us." Natsuki, quite strangely specific, says. Of course, she nods to in front of us, pointing me to a stone cave that's in the middle of a clearing where the trees start to depart. We definitely have to be far in the forest at this point given I've never seen another cave besides Honey's. And this one is a lot larger than his is..

It looks pretty old; overgrown trees and grass covering the sides with moss spreading over the stone and the ground underneath. The entrance is large, and as the river flows closer to it, the bank thins and enters the cave. I take a few more paces curiously, making sure that the river is really running to inside the shelter. "I think the river ends here.."

"Finally!" Natsuki cheers, and I can't help but smile in relief along with her. "They better be here or I swear.."

Natsuki doesn't finish the threat, but that in itself is threatening enough. I guess I didn't even think about the possibility that they might not be here. What if they're not? Where do we go now? I guess we have to walk all the way back, but it's getting late now.. I wonder if there's anything in there or if we can use it as cover if we have to..

I guess there's only one way to find out.

I start towards the cave, Natsuki following close behind. Worst case scenario is there'll just be some sort of animal I'll have to apologize to inside. No big deal, right? Unless there's some like, mythical creature in here.. There wouldn't be, right?

..It'll probably be fine.

As we get to the entrance, the once flowing river is now a small trickle of water flowing into the rock. It must be enough to still support all the vegetation though, as it continues further inside. The two of us cautiously peer inside. It's not as dark as I expected, and I'm not entirely sure where the light is coming from but it looks like we can still head further in. Should we yell from inside the cave to see if there's anything in there, or would that be more risky than just sneaking inside? What are the chances Sayori and Yuri of all people went into a random cave anyway, right? Maybe we should look around the outside before—

Natsuki slips past me, heading inside. Does she really have no hesitation about these things? "Natsuki..! What are you-?"

The girl pauses, turning back to face me with a curious expression. "We didn't come all the way here just for us to not check this place out. And what if they're in here?"

Two very valid points, and considering that I still need to make it up to her somehow.. Ugh, this is probably a stupid idea, but I'm sure we can get out of it if we need to. Besides, she really does have a point considering I am curious..  "Just watch your step.."

"Relax." Natsuki chuckles lightheartedly, and she slowly traverses further in. I follow closely behind her as to not lose her, with my hesitation only growing each step we take further away from the entrance.

The cave is humid inside, I suppose due to the water. The moss and overgrown plants start to disperse the further in we go, leaving just uneven stone that starts to slope down. Luckily, there hasn't been any sign of any living creatures in here so far, but that doesn't stop us from stepping as quietly as the echo will allow us too.

Something that I have noticed though is that there are patterns engraved to the walls. First I figured they were just random cracks in the stone, but they continue along the sides with us for quite a while. I can't see them too well in the dimmed lighting, but even then they look like strange symbols and letters that don't look like any language I've seen before. I guess it's not impossible to reason that this place could've been used for some sort of old history or something of the sort. I hope we're not going to get in trouble for being here..

Natsuki and I freeze at the sound of something's echo running through the cave. It's hard to make out what it is; it sounds like something squealing, or yelling, or roaring, but whatever it is tells us that we aren't alone.

I glance worriedly at Natsuki, who despite wearing a brave front a few moments ago, looks just as concerned. Well, this is definitely not worrisome in the slightest.. I try to subtly move closer to Natsuki just to, you know, help protect her if she needs it, but as the noise rings out again even louder than before this time, the two of us jolt and I find myself ramming my side into her. Just because she moved into me first, obviously, but the details don't matter as the sound bounces off the stone and further past us.

Natsuki turns to face me with tense shoulders, harshly whispering, "You have to go check what that was..!"

"Wha- You're the one who wanted to explore..!" I can't believe she's just willing to sacrifice me like this! Fair, I guess, but still!

"Well, you should've stopped me..! I'm supposed to be the rebellious one that has no sense of risk, you know..!" I quietly yelp as Natsuki shoves me forward into the deeper section of the cave, nearly causing me to trip on the uneven stone.

I turn around roughly to face her. "Do I look like Yuri..?!"

"Go, I'll be behind you..!" Natsuki very aggressively waves me off with both her hands, and I force myself to take a deep breath that's hopefully filled with courage.

We've been lucky enough that the cave isn't very elaborate, and although there have been some slight turns here and there, the walking has been in a straight line. Which luckily means that if we have to make a run for it, at least we know where the exit is. Unluckily for us, that means whatever's in here does too.. Whatever, I've already agreed to explore, so I have to see this through! Even if I really don't want to..

With a final glance over my shoulder to make sure that Natsuki's really following, the two of us slowly start towards the noise. The echoes continue as we get closer to the source of it, carefully traversing over any loose pebbles that can give away our location. And as the cave begins to widen and the two of us walk besides the wall cautiously, the echo becomes a lot less effective and a familiar voice suddenly sounds.

"Heeey, don't be mean!" There's some loud laughing that's accompanying it, chiming through the cavern in a reverberation that sounds oddly familiar as well.

I glance curiously over at Natsuki who is returning the same confused yet intrigued look, and with a final breath of courage, I step forward into the bright opening of the cave.

The symbolled walls curve outward to make a room that's large and bright, light shining in from the outside sky above due to a large hole in the top that the stone or plant life hasn't covered yet. This, and another entrance to the cave off to the side, brings the cold weather from before past us in the form of a soft breeze. The stone turns to a mixture of dirt and sand now, as in the center of the room and under the open overhang lies a stone pillar and a small pool of water, but more importantly-

"Guys!" Sayori and Yuri are here! All the energy we spent getting here comes back in a rush of relief and I can't help but energetically wave out to them.

The two girls are leaning against the podium talking, and immediately turn to face us with curious eyes as we run over to them. Sayori smiles softly, waving at us back herself. "Oh, hi! What are you two doing he- Ah!"

I wrap Sayori in a hug the moment I can reach her, the sudden collision causing the both of us to stumble back a little. Seeing her and knowing that she's actually here and feeling her presence after so long of looking and worrying for them causes me to tighten my embrace on her. I'm not going to make the same mistake as before by letting her go, I promise that! "We were so worried about you!"

"Oh, gosh.. I'm so sorry that we freaked you guys out!" Sayori's arms return the hug as well, although far looser than my own. "I thought I could leave and come back before school finished."

I feel my excitement falter at that, swiftly turning into immense guilt when I remember what I did before fully now. I shouldn't be this close to her, she probably doesn't want that after I left her by herself this morning.. I can't keep being selfish like this.. My arms slowly release from her as I take a step back. This is going to be another difficult but truly needed apology. I just hope it turns out better than the one I gave to Natsuki.

Sayori's own hold drops on me as well and as I think about what to say next, Natsuki's loud voice catches my attention from beside us as she glares up at Yuri. "How many times do I have to worry about you going missing or not showing up? Never do that again, or at the very least text one of us next time!"

Yuri smiles apologetically, gently patting Natsuki's shoulder as the girl lightly slaps the back of her hand onto the other's arm. "I apologize.. The cave's likely blocked us from being able to reach a signal out here.."

"Well just- Don't go to a random and creepy cave next time!" The pinkette harshly retaliates, but the relieved expression on her face never truly leaves. Until it turns into curiosity however, and she turns to look between both Sayori and Yuri, "How did you guys find this place anyway?"

"Ah, well.." Yuri's voice lowers to a soft mumble, as now she and Sayori exchange glances. There's an unspoken idea clearly being shared between the two, as if they're debating on whether they should tell us it or not. I suppose I can't be all that surprised given that they must've spoken to each other for quite a while in here, yet at the same time, Sayori looks a little more uncomfortable than Yuri does.

The silence doesn't last long at all though, as Sayori apparently decides whatever they've discussed is worth sharing as she sighs a little, her smile softening and her hands fidgeting with each other. "It.. Was my fault. I sort of left. I just wasn't feeling all that comfortable inside as silly as that sounds, the silence was a little loud, you know? Still, that's no excuse, and I'm sorry for worrying everyone.."

"That is just what friends are for, Sayori. You would do the same for us without question, there is nothing wrong with needing that to be returned." Yuri responds sternly, and the guilt I feel increases as a large pit in my stomach. If I had stayed then Sayori could have someone to talk to. She didn't just have to talk about mine, but we could've talked about her feelings as well.. Still, that's all the more reason to try to make it up to them. "I.. Will admit that spying was perhaps a little much, but I was concerned when you said you'd prefer to be alone and then couldn't be found in your dorm. Uhm, so, I suppose that's how we both ended up here. Quite a lucky coincidence that we happened to find someplace as lovely as this, however."

Sayori earnestly giggles, nodding in agreement. "Right? If I did nothing else, I at least saved all my luck to stumble upon this place!"

I have to say something now. They deserve so much more than just a stupid apology from someone even more stupid, but this is all I can give. And it's something that I have to do, no matter if I worry that this won't recover anything that I've lost today.. I force myself to glance at both Sayori and Yuri directly, refusing to look away or fall back in shame for any longer. "Sayori. Yuri. I'm.. I'm sorry. I know that probably doesn't mean much, or helps much, or makes up for what I said and did to the both of you, but I mean it. You were both right. I was just worried about losing what we already had that I.. I was pushing it away. I was pushing you guys away, and hurting you guys in a way that I wasn't considering because I was too focused on thinking I was doing the right thing. I wasn't, not in the slightest. You guys deserve someone that considers your feelings and shows they care about you and that stays with you to talk about it all."

Sayori and I lock eyes, but she doesn't look away. And so neither do I as I continue, "And I didn't give you that. I just forced you guys into situations that you weren't comfortable with. And that was wrong of me. I should've been more open to understand your guys' point of view and feelings, and I shouldn't have let my emotions take over this much. I was trying to ignore them but they just ended up causing more problems, ironically.. So- And I mean this to all of you, Natsuki too, I'm sorry. And.. And I understand if you don't like me now or.. Want to distance yourself, or something.. I understand and I wouldn't blame you."

"First of all," I glance beside me as I notice Natsuki crossing her arms, looking at me. "I already told you what I thought, so you don't have to go trying to make me cry again. Although, I respect the attempt."

The slight humour in her voice doesn't stay long though, and her smile fades as she nervously turns to face the other two girls. Her eyes flicker over to Yuri before she looks back down to the ground. "And.. And I'm sorry, too. I was angry at a lot of things but mostly myself. And I guess I just happen to have a habit of taking it out on others. I know you guys are probably going to try to say that it's fine or whatever, but I don't want to be the kind of person that does that when I'm frustrated. I know it's going to take a lot of time to improve, but I want to work on it. And so.. Yeah. I didn't mean to yell at any of you guys or anything, except for maybe Monika a couple of times but I could've said some nicer things I guess, so.. I understand if you don't want to talk to me either or whatever."

Natsuki doesn't raise her head, even as the cave suddenly falls into a silence between the four of us. I wasn't really expecting her to apologize again.. I guess she really does mean what she says before, but there's no way they'll hate her, right? I mean, I'm the one who caused most of her frustration anyway, if anyone's going to be kicked out of the group, it should be me.. The thought of that feels earned, but it doesn't feel nice, and I can't help but dejectedly look at the ground myself, waiting for the moment they say something. I know I deserve it, but..

"You guys are so silly.." That's.. Not the kind of sentence I was expecting, and I look up in confusion at Sayori who is smiling softly at the both of us. "Do you think we'd stop being friends with you guys just because we all had an argument?"

I shift my weight, nervously frowning at her. I wouldn't exactly call what we had just a regular argument.. "But I- I was so inconsiderate and I left you."

Sayori suddenly smiles a little wider now, and a familiar teasing glint in her eyes shines through. "Monika, you really are silly! Are you really giving me reasons to not forgive you?"

"W-Well- I mean, I'm just trying to say the truth! I was really bad and you shouldn't have to just-"

"Woah, woah, woah!" I jump as Natsuki frantically raises her head, waving her hands quickly to stop me. "If someone is going to get in trouble, it should be me! I put you guys in my mess, and I'm probably just going to do it again because of my, like, anger issues or something! It was my father after all."

I immediately turn to face her sternly, "Absolutely not. You know how I feel about you saying that. Nothing that happened there was your fault. I'm the one who kept pushing!"

"Hmm, on second thought.." Before Natsuki can say anything back, a thoughtful hum comes from Sayori. The two of us glance at her, her arms crossed and a finger tapping on her chin as if she's deep in thought. "Yeah, you guys are right, there should be some concussions."

Some what? I know I said I deserved to be excluded from the group, but this isn't what I meant..!

"..Do you mean repercussions?" Yuri's light voice breaks me out of my panicked thoughts, a small smile on her face as if she knows what me, and Natsuki, are both likely thinking.

Sayori giggles now, leaning closer to Yuri with a sudden mischievous smile. "I dunno, Yuri, did I mean that? Is there an even better consequence out there?"

"Hm, perhaps we should give it a little more thought. After all, today did mean that I had to sacrifice my daily cup of tea.."

Wha- What are they saying?! We're being serious right now! Besides, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of other things we can do to make it up to them! Although, I guess making Yuri miss her tea is a very risky game to play..

"Wait!" Natsuki seemingly has the same thought, as she very frantically calls out to them. "Let's not resort to that! I'm sure there's something we can do! I'll make you both cupcakes or a cake, or some other treat!"

A very useful tactic from Natsuki and without a doubt, it wins Sayori over with a very intense nod. "One batch, but they have to look like little cats! And I want cookies!"

Natsuki very vigorously nods as if being saved from a life sentence. "Absolutely, on the house, might as well make it three batches, you know? Yuri, what about you? Green-tea flavoured cupcakes? A tea cake? A cake that looks like a teacup? A teacup cupcake?"

Yuri only narrows her eyes at the girl with a soft smile, and it's clear even to me that although those sound good, delicious even, there's something more pressing that Yuri wants. And it's obvious to Natsuki too, as with a heavy sigh, she just nods reluctantly. "Fine! I'll read whatever big horror-fantasy novel series you want."

"Oh, a series now? I was only going to suggest a stand alone story, but this far exceeds that." Yuri lightly laughs as Natsuki stumbles on her words now, unable to take it back. But I can't help but notice that clear excitement on Yuri, and even the relief from Natsuki despite her protest to the idea. It's clear this was weighing on her for quite some time, and I realize that by giving her something to do, she can feel like she's making up for whatever wrong thing she believes she's done. It's honestly quite ingenious, especially coming from a Sayori and Yuri who likely had to think of this right now.

..I also realize that they're attempting to do the same thing with me, as they both look over expectantly. Although, I'm not sure what they're expecting given I can't pump out great food! I raise my hands defensively, taking a small step back, "Look, I-I don't have any special talents like that! I don't know, I'll carry one of you back? I'll pick you flowers? Pinky promise to not be an idiot again?"

"Oh Moni, you know I don't make pinky promises that I know will break!" Sayori crosses her arms, smiling deviously with the power that she so obviously holds over my head. Ouch.. Honestly, though, I guess that was well deserved.. "But how about lots of hugs for the rest of the week? And I get to braid your hair!"

Yuri nods from beside her, her gaze turning softer as she glances at me. "And, perhaps, you can tell one of us whenever you feel the need to ignore your feelings so that we may talk about it instead?"

I can't help but sigh in defeat, slightly looking away from the two. Yeah, I suppose I should've expected that, but I guess I should be more relieved that they want to still talk to me. Still.. "I mean, sure, but why do I get that and Natsuki doesn't?"

"Ah, my apologies." Yuri chuckles softly, but her voice quickly sounds as stern as before. "That goes for you as well, Natsuki."

"Yeah, yeah." Natsuki grumbles, although I notice her glancing up at me with a smirk. "Thanks for dragging me under the emotion-bus with you."

"You signed up for that when you forgave me." I point out with a playful smile of my own, earning a light hearted eye roll from Natsuki after.

I hear Sayori giggle from in front of us, clapping her hands as if she's proud of all of us. "Yeah! And the hug thing goes for all of us, too!"

I'm pretty sure this is just Sayori's way of giving us all hug energy without the usual denial to it from Natsuki, and I suppose Yuri as well. Even though they can still argue against it, I guess they figure it's not worth it, as Sayori uses this chance to enact her new power, pulling the four of us into another group hug.

Even though I know that I'm definitely not off the hook at all yet, even if they're joking about it and have forgiven me, it still feels nice to embrace the others tightly in a protective hug. If nothing else, we have each other, just like we always said we would. And I'm going to work hard to make sure that nothing happens that tries to tear us apart again. I feel Natsuki lean into the hug a little, and I can't help but smile at it.

This hug definitely feels like déjà vu, especially since we're all back together again. But it feels more promising this time, and as we slowly pull away from each other, I notice Natsuki's smile falters a little. "So, what are we going to do about the school and the cafe?"

Sayori smiles warmly at her, trying to give her some of her own positivity. "I don't know, but I think that, together, we can figure it out."

It seems to work as Natsuki smiles at that, Yuri glancing at her with a small nod and then to Sayori in assurance. "Together sounds rather nice."

I glance determinedly at each of my friends, closing a fist with unwavering confidence that I know will stay for them.

"Together it is, then."

"Natsuki? Oh, don't be so nervous hun, I just wanted to talk to- Yes, Monika's here as well. Yuri and Sayori told me that you two got into a bit of an argument earlier today. And now, I know it's not any of my business, but you two seemed distant during dinner and I just want to ask if you've figured everything out? ..I'll take your silences as a no, aha. Then, let's see! If you're comfortable sharing, what exactly happened?"

—!

"Monika moved your manga? Monika, why would you– ..Ah, it is Cleaning Day, isn't it? Well, did you- Girls, hold on. Let's calm down a little. Natsuki, mind your language, please. I understand that you're upset but this is why we communicate with each other in a- ..If you both talk over each other then I won't be able to understand what either of you are saying.. Let's try to use our listening ears, okay? Why don't we start with Natsuki's side of the– Girls, that's not very appropriate.. Natsuki, hands to yourself! M-Monika! We don't kick our frie- Alright, alright! That's enough! Break it up! Goodness, you two are something else.."