Rains Pov:
Tuesday, ew. It should be Friday. No, it should be summer. I hate school, everything about it. The people, the teachers, the work. Not only that, I suck at school, I have two C's right now. The rest are A's but still. I'm not dumb, but I'm not smart. All the other girls in my grade have all A's, I always peek at their screen when they are looking at their grade. I sit there and wonder how. It's not like I procrasonate or dont try, my mental health plus school, is a lot to jugle. But that's no exsuce, according to my mom.
"Rain, Rain are you listening?" My head shot up from my desk. Shit.
"Yes, Sorry, I zoned out." The theacher turns back around, wrighting something on the board.
"Dont let it happen again." He says. I nod.It will happen again, but he wont notice. It's only 10 AM, I have lunch after this. My head just keeps going, what do I have for lunch? How many more minutes? Should I go back to my locker? Who do I sit with today? Oh yea, its halfway through the school year, normal girls at my school have there lunchtables figured out. But apparently im not normal to them, Im mean, annoying, ugly, the list goes on. So who I sit with today? I ask myself. I probaly should have thought about this earlier, instead of, what 20 minutes, before lunch. I could eat in the bathroom again. Any friend group I sit with, they always talk about me when I leave, its never good. So its one and done unless they dont.
(A/N guys I cant focus, Im watching Ginny and Georgia at the same time and its so cringy!)
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Home, Im walking home. I click my tough as I walk. Why is walking so boring? Im not even walking to my house, im walking to my ex bestfriends, thats where I get picked up everyday. Because it in the middle of the middle school and elemtary, so my mom can pick up me and my sister at the same time. I get to her house and my mom isnt here. Great. If it were last year or begining of this year, I was aloud into her house so I could wait till my mom came. Its not that im not aloud to anymore, but me and her dont talk. I see her walking with my other old friend, of course I still see her, she lives here for godsake. Kelsey, she lives at the house, and Lucia always walks with her, and she gets to go in her house.
Finally my mom is here. I cross the road and walk to her car, its parked direcly in front of Kelseys house. It always is.
"Hi honey!" I hear as I cross the road. I look up from the ground and see Kelseys mom walking towards my moms car. Probably just wants to talk to her, they are great friends. My mom doesn't know about what's going on with me and Kelsey, but she does know that Kelsey isn't the nicest girl. I smile back at her mom and keeo walking to my moms car. I open the door and my mom smiles at me, I smile back and put my seatbelt on.
" Wheres your jacket? Do kids not wear jackets anymore? " my mok laughs with Kelseys, tge joke wasnt funny, but adults these days find everything funny. Dumb. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open it. Theres nothibg to do on my phone, I have like Tik Tok and insta but its kind of annoying and boring. Im just swiping through my apps, trying to maoe it look like im doing something while these moms go on and on about dumb shit. They finay wrap up there dumbass conversation and we drive up to get my sister. Im still sitting there "on my phone"
" How was your day?" My mom asks me. I turn my phone off and sit up.
"Uh good I guess, nothing special." I say, looking down at my stoney clover backpack. Its so dirty, I need to wash it.
"Good." I see my sister running down the hill, if the hill wasnt as flat as my ass, she'd fall flat on her face running that fast. I roll down and yell out thd window, making sure she doesnt die.
"SLOW DOWN YOU MANIAC!" I yell to her. She's only 5 years old, she has only lived 5 years! She cant die just yet. She climbs into the back of the car panting like a dog that just ran ten miles.
"Heaven, you cant run that fast. You could hurt yourself!" she just shrugs and buckles her seatbelt. I roll my eyes and turn back around, picking my phone up. The car starts driving to my house, im just sitting here, on my phone. My mom turns the radio on and Cruel Summer starts playing. Heaven immidietly starts screaming the lyrics, its the only Taylor Swift song shes knows except Anti-Hero. Its so annoying because its always 'mom can you play Cruel Summer' or 'mom can you play Anti-Hero' and never 'mom can you play anything but Cruel Summer and Anti-Hero'. Don't get me wrong I love the songs, just not on repeat. I start humming the lyrics to myself while I scroll through pinterest. I see all the photo's of Taylor, food recipies, and other random stuff. But Im usually on the app for my pinterest board: Dream life, its full of photos of how I wish my life was. But no matter how hard I try, my life is never going tk be anywhere near how I want it. Don't get me wrong, I know I could for sure have it worse, I mean my parents love me, I have a good relasionship with my sisters, Im skinny, or underweight actually because my ED, I guess maybe that doesnt count then. But I have one good friend, shes my best friend actually. Her name is Harper and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me, if it wasnt for her, I wouldnt be here. Speaking of Harper, she just texted me.
Harper❤️: Hey girl! Wanna hangout today?
Do I? I mean I dont have any homework. I dont need to be home for any reason. Finally our car pulls into our driveway. Heaven immidietly jumps out of the car and runs into the house.
"Mom can I go to Harpers house?" She looks up from her phone and answers me.
"Uh sure, when?" I text Harper again, asking when I should come over.
Rain: when?
Harper❤️: any time! You can head over now if you want?
Harper doesnt go to my school, she lives in a different town. We met in pre school when we were 3. She has been with me through everything.
"Can you take me now?" My mom nods yes and puts her phone down. She starts the car and we drive out of the driveway. I lean back into my chair and text Harper back.
Rain: ok im omw!
Harper❤️: Kk!
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"Yea! Gosh you know me well!" me and Harper were sitting on her bed playing truth or truth. We have played this game like ten time and we already basically know everything about each other, yet we always find ourselves paying it again.
"Ok ok my turn!" Harper says happily. I sit up straight preparing myself for her question.
" ok what was the worst thing anyone has said to you. Oh damn. I have had some shit said to me.
" Probably "no matter how much you starve yourself, you will always be deformed, over or under weight." It was rough" I said. Harper lets out a laugh and scrunches her nose. Does she not believe me? Did I say something wrong? Harper sits up.
"What? Someone said that to you? No they didn't." Harper says, confused. How does she not believe me? What?
" yes they did babe." I chuckled because she didn't believe me. Something's off with her.
"Who? And why didn't you tell me?" Oh right I never told her! A lot went down that day.
" Lilah, and I was kind of like pre occupied with taking in what she said" I replied, picking at my leggings. I look back up at her and see her confused face.
" That doesn't sound like Lilah, I mean don't get me wrong she's cruel and stuff but, no are you sure she said those words" she said to me, leaning back into her wall. What- is this girl defending Lilah?
" Harper I'm your best friend why don't you believe me? She said those words, I wouldn't make that up." I said to her, getting more and more annoyed. Why is she being like to this?
" I don't know... you've made things up before..." Oh my god she is talking about that one time like five months ago when I said that my mom told me to die, she never did. But we forgot about that and moved on. And I apologized.
"Ok that was one time like a few months ago! What are you doing? Are you trying to prove something?" I started to get more fed up with her. Why are we still talking about this? The lie was one time and why does she need to start a fight?
" No! But I don't know because like when I said what's the worst thing someone has ever said to you, I ment like funny not mean. It just feels like you always turn all of our conversations into something about your life and people being mean." Ok. That was hurtful. I am now hurt.
" What the- I didn't know" I said, trying not to show how pissed I was. I'm so confused about what is going on.
" Yes you did I know you. It's just annoying sometimes but it's fine." Girl if you knew me you wouldn't be saying all this! What is she doing and saying! And no I'm not about to drop this! That hurt my feelings and I need answers!
" No it's not because that was rude!" I reply sternly, trying to get my point across.
" No Rain it wasn't! Because I have been wanting to tell you this for awhile because you use me as your vent and I'm happy you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about this stuff, but I have a life to and I have my own problems." A life? Your own problems? I mean yea she lives a way more normal life than me and probably still has boy drama and all that shit. But she has never said anything about it.
" Then don't answer me! You should have told me this! Because now we are here fighting!" I am now yelling at her. How did this turn into a fight so quickly?
" No it's just annoying and honestly selfish because somehow everything is always about you!" Harper is now fed up. She stand off her bed and just looks so pissed. I'm still sitting here fuming in my own.
" I- what? I'm sorry I have a lot going on in my life you and you are the only one that listens to me and understands me!" She knows that she is like my only friend and I have no others. I stand off her bed and match her position, crossing my arms on my chest.
"But why!" Harper yells.
" Why what!" I yell back.
" Why can't you make other friends? Why am I your only friend! It's a lot when you are always texting me about your problems! Just make new friends it's not that hard!" Does she not listen to me ever? Does she not know that everyone turned there backs on me and nobody like me!
" Yes it is! You don't go to my school!" I yell to her, swinging my arms down as I do.
" Rain. A basic human ability is making friends! I can't be the only person you rely on!" Harper takes a step closer to me in anger.
" That doesn't even make sense! You don't understand how nobody likes me!" She should understand! I have told her many times!
" You don't know that! And you know what if they do! It's probably because you are so much work to be friends with!" Woah. Maybe that was the worst thing anyone has said to me. I take a step back and try to take in what she just said.
" I'm leaving." I pick my bag up from her bed and make my way out her door.
" Again, leaving your problems because you never solve them yourself." I just roll my eyes at her comment and keep walking out. I reach her downstairs and open the front door revealing the dark night sky. I told my mom that I would sleep over at her house. I start dialing my mom's number. As I do, the fumes that were definitely fuming from my eyes, turn into tears as my eyes start to water. She is or was my best friend. How could she said that stuff to me. After all this that we went through. She knows me so well. She knows everything about me. All my secrets, all my opinions on people, all my enemies, everything! I never that she would use it against me. The tears just start falling from my eyes and I can't stop them. My phone stops ringing and my mom picks up.
"Mom?" I ask.
" Rain I can't talk right now I need to go." She sounds very annoyed.
"Wait! Me and Harper just got into a huge fight, can you please pick me up?" My mom sighs in annoyance on the other end.
"Rain. What did you do." Of course, my fault.
" She was saying how I always pour my life problems on her and I was trying to tell her that she doesn't know me enough to say that and she doesn't know my life!" I say.
"Rain. No. I am not doing this. Did you even try to listen to Harper? Because maybe she was right. Why are you always starting with her. The drama is always following you and it's everywhere you go! Harper is a sweet girl and you can not be mad at her! You are so selfish and bratty for acting like that! I can just imagine how rude you were! Go make up with her and don't call me again." She hangs up. I stand there. In the pouring rain. My mouth wide open. I am sobbing so hard at this point. No way am I going back I there. But I can't go home. Im in the city so I can wonder where I want, there are many places. I start walking away from her house and into the big crowded part of the city. I just need some time to myself. I can't believe my mom. It is always my fault even if she doesn't know what is going on.
I just keep walking, passing all theses stores, all these restaurants, all these people. Nobody seems to care that I am crying. I'm freezing, I'm wearing black leggings and a dance competition t shirt. It's winter. My hair is dripping wet too. The rain just keeps coming down, harder and harder. As I'm walking and sobbing through a crowd of people, I trip over a crack on the sidewalk and fall onto my hands, twisting my ankle as I so. I am now laying on the New York City sidewalk sobbing in the pouring rain with no jacket and my school bag.
It's been 5 minutes, I'm still crying , harder now. I try to stand up and keep walking, but I physically can't. I'm staring down at people's shoes as they walk by me, when a pair of rain boots running towards me and stopping at my feet. A blonde woman with sunglasses and a beanie bends down to my level and holds her hand out for me. Why is she wearing sunglasses in the dark rainy night?
"Honey? Want help." Without thinking, I grab her hand and she helps me onto my feet. I cry harder at the pain that is in my ankle. I expect her to walk away but she stays.
"Where's your parents?" She asks me. I try and subside my sobs to answer her.
"They don't want me right now."I spit out without thinking what I was saying. She puts an hand on my back and try's to lead me somewhere.
"Can you come with me?" I nod. I hope this lady doesn't kill me. She seems nice, and she smells good. She leads me into a black car and helps me in it. She sits in the back with me and helps buckle me. My cry's have slowed down a bit but I'm still crying. She grabs a blanket from the trunk of the car and puts it on me. Finally she sits down next to me and faces me.
"Louis to my house please? Ok I have a lot of questions but I need you to trust me. So I'm about to show you something. Please don't freak out." I hold my breath hoping she doesn't pull out a knife or something. She takes he beanie off revealing bangs that look familiar..she then take her sunglasses off and OH MY GOD.
(A/N) 2916 words NOT including this! Cliff hangerrrr