Don't you love how chapter three is day two, and chapter four will be day three, and so on?
Anyways I'm not sorry for any spelling mistakes, my phone typer thing blurry cuz I trired
Nomnomnomnomonolmnomnom burger
—
Hisoka hadn't realized there were more employees other than him, the mice, the teenage girl, and the manager.
Apparently there's also a drug addict, though Hisoka doesn't have the heart to tell them that they're dyslexic and smoking reed and not weed.
A wanted criminal who escaped from jail who puts all his wanted posters and mugshots on the fridge. Apparently he's the teenagers "child."
He's, at the very least, thirty.
When Hisoka tried to figure out his age he just pointed a onek at him think it was a knife because of the dyslexia, asking Hisoka why he needs to know.
Hisoka grabbed the onek and stabbed himself, to assert dominance.
There's also one other employee who will be coming in later today. They may or may not be human, according to the mad scientist writing on the wall.
It spelt out Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow mew mew meow meow purr *pun here* meow 01010010 01100001 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101000 00101101 01100001 01101000 00101101 01100001 01101000 00101101 01100001 01101000 00001101 00001010 01010010 01101111 01101101 01100001 00101100 00100000 01110010 01101111 01101101 01100001 00101101 01101101 01100001 00001101 00001010 01000111 01100001 01100111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101111 01101000 00101101 01101100 01100001 00101101 01101100 01100001 00001101 00001010 01010111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110010 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000
So, Hisoka's guessing it's Shalnark's less evil twin. Because he's the type of person to mew and then robot aggressively. Thank for Ted talk.
[Edit: the author was very tired while writing this chapter. I almost feel bad for you guys about how bad it is, but you honestly deserve it. Did a bit of editing tho, just because the spelling mistakes were horrendous.]
"You ever kill someone?" The escaped convict randomly asked during the middle of their shift.
"I can't say that I have~" Hisoka said. Hisoka is a law abiding citizen, anyone who tells you otherwise is insane.
"Oh," The criminal—Hisoka hadn't gotten anyone's name yet, nobody wears name tags here—blinked slowly, "well that puts a damper on our relationship."
"Such a pity~" Was all Hisoka said in response.
—
Hisoka would have to kill thirty-two people and steal all their fingers in order to have enough fingers to count how many times people have yelled at him about the broken ice cream machine. Assuming every person had eleven fingers on each hand, that is.
Because most people don't, in fact, have eleven fingers on each hand, Hisoka would actually have to kill quite a few more people than that.
The ice cream machine wasn't even broken, Hisoka just liked being yelled at and degraded.
Don't kink shame him, he's the main character.
—
Almost the entire troupe came in this time. The moody teenage employee commenting that "Oh, the cult is here early. It's not even Thursday yet."
Hisoka hadn't ever considered that he was a part of a cult before. But he did some research and found out that the troupe is, in fact, a cult.
He happily served the few troupe members brave enough to order the food. Finding working here to be quite enjoyable thus far.
—
"The ice cream machine is broken~" Hisoka lies, much to everyone's surprise. The reader should tell us how absolutely, completely, very shocked they were to find out that Hisoka lied.
I'm sure the dear reader's commentary would be so, so enjoyable;)
[Edit: the narrator was infected by the Hisoka disease. Ignore them.]
The lady just grumbled something under her breath, and then finished ordering. Dragging her child to a nearby booth with her.
After calling out their order number, he let the mother grab the tray of food and return to her table. Waiting a minute or two before approaching their table.
Hisoka gives the child a "vanilla ice cream cone," a small smirk on his face.
"I thought your ice cream machine was broken?" The mother questioned, the child already licking into the soft ice cream like a man starved.
"Oh, it is~" Before the lady could question anything, Hisoka adds with a wink, "It's not ice cream~"
The lady took a second, looking the clown up and down. Trying to judge whether or not he looked like the type of person to cum into an McDonald's ice cream cone and feed it to a child.
"Momma," The child said, the area around his mouth stained with the alleged "ice cream", "my ice cream tastes funky."
At that moment, the mother answer was yes. The clown looked like he would absolutely do something like that.
The troupe, who had been eavesdropping this entire time, looked almost horrified as they caught on to what Hisoka was implying.
The mother's face twisting into one of horror and disgust as she hurriedly slapped the "ice cream" cone out of her child's hands.
By the time she looked up, Hisoka had disappeared. Already in the back, talking to his fellow employees. Most of which had been peeking around the corner, watching the entire "ice cream" thing go down.
"Did you really..." The teenager trailed off, seeming more intrigued than disgusted.
"No~" Hisoka laughed lightly, ruffling the teen's hair, much to her annoyance, "It was just ice cream~"
"Then why did the child say it tasted funny?" She questioned, swatting his hand away with a glare.
"A few shots of vodka~" Hisoka gladly answered. It's anyone's guess as to if he's telling the truth or not.
The teenager paused for a moment, before a small grin creeped onto their face, "Maybe you'll fit in here after all, my dearest clown."
"It's magician, my beloved~" Hisoka corrected, grabbing her hand as he bowed slightly, bringing her hand up to his lips as he kissed it softly.
"Are you two fucking flirting right now?" The manager asked, looking a bit concerned.
"Nope." The teenager said, at the same time Hisoka purred "Perhaps~"
The manager blinked at the two for a moment, before turning on his heel and walking into his office.
—
A few hours later, the final employee showed up. Wearing a trench coat instead of the uniform, though nobody here wore the uniform correctly anyways, so that wasn't too big of a deal.
Hisoka was more intrigued by the level of mystery that came with it. A fedora over their head, veiled with a black fabric, covering their face entirely. They were also wearing long gloves, not an inch of skin to be found, making almost inhumane movements.
Hisoka easily brushed that all off. To him, it was like a more human version of Illumi.
He was apparently called Humeown Purrson.
The design was very human if you ask Hisoka. Much better than the Zoldycks' names, at least.
—
Whenever they got a moment of free time, the employees played Around The Clock Uno.
You draw seven Uno cards at the start of your shift. The goal is to have zero by the end of your shift, otherwise you get stuck on rat feeding duty.
Every time you get a chance, you run to the break room. A deck of uno cards lay on the table. If you can play a card, you do. If you can't, you draw one card. After your turn you then leave the break room. Returning to your work.
If someone plays down a draw two, or draw four, the next person to enter the break room has to draw that many cards.
Wild cards, and any card that changes the color, are not nearly as useful as they are in regular Uno. You can play them at any time, giving you the safety of not having to draw any cards. But, what color it's switched to is entirely up to the next person who walks into the break room.
The manager watches the camera in the break room carefully. It's basically all he does all day. He's the judge, and is therefore unallowed to play.
It's quite fun, and Hisoka has practically zero chance of losing. Being a magician and all.
Word count: 1552
Fun Facts:
• Hisoka is having the time of his life. The usual problems that come with customer service don't affect him. Rude customers yelling at him? He's into that. Having to clean things up? Nope, that's the mice's job. Employee drama? He lives for it. Underpaid? He's already rich. Employee shortage? He doesn't care, he's basically as good as eight employees, with his speed and skill and all.
• I'm ruining my sleep schedule to write this for y'all, be grateful.
• Yay, you all got to meet the employees! Just a quick recap though
The manager: Name unknown, doesn't do much.
The moody teenage girl: Willing to flirt with Hisoka jokingly, mostly through banter. Is the most experienced employee(?), Name unknown
Drug addict: was barely mentioned, dyslexic(?), Name unknown
Escaped convict: Everyone knows his past, but nobody cares enough to turn him in. Name unknown.
Trench coat guy: Name, Humeown Purrson. Unsure if they have skin, or what they look like. Nobody questions anything about them, there's nothing to question.