The final moments of the battle played on constant repeat in my head as Loki and I were now locked in an Asgardian cell. What could I have done differently? What could I have done to win?
Over and over I watched as the metal man flew through the warm hole with the nuke. Ruining all of my work.
"Sister, there's no use moping about it," Loki spoke, jolting me out of my focus.
I knew I couldn't change anything that had happened but I hated failing. I ran a cold hand through my messy hair and sat up from the cot.
Our cell was a large rectangle with two cots on both sides and decorated with a chair and a table. It was the only cell to have any kind of decoration in it.
Mother would come to visit us daily and give us new books and updates on what Father was feeling. For a moment, we were scared Father was going to have Loki's head. For now, he's settled for life in prison. We were still unsure of what my punishment would be.
Mother walked into the cell just as I sat up and she cleared her throat before speaking.
"Astrid, dear, your father has decided it is time for your release."
Loki looked back at me and as our eyes met I could swear a small twinge of hatred pierced his green eyes. Hatred for me. The anger simmered from his eyes as he walked to stand next to Mother.
"Really?" I said, a little shocked. "Why?"
She shrugged, the regal silk of her dress flowed with her every movement. I've always thought she resembled an angel. The best compliment was when people compared me to her.
"Your father and I have discussed this matter in length. He believes you've learned your lesson." As she finished, Loki scoffed and walked away towards the barrier of the cell, staring out at the new prisoners.
I knew what he was feeling. He felt like Odin thought him evil.
"Odin continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful," Loki says between his teeth.
"The books I sent, do they not interest you?" Mother asks, trying to tame his temper.
"Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?"
She sighed, keeping a steady demeanor even though I knew it was hard for her to hear her children suffer. "I've done everything in my power to make the two of you comfortable."
Loki glares at her. "Well it isn't the two of us anymore, is it?" He leans over the table. "Does Odin share your concern?" He knew the answer. I knew the answer. Mother knew the answer. "Does Thor?" Now that was a question I truly didn't know. Did he hate us after New York? "It must be so inconvenient having them asking after us day and night."
"You know full well it was your actions that brought you two here." Hearing that from my mother stung a bit. Did she think I was evil?
"Our actions?" Loki said, pointing a questioning hand between us. "We were merely giving truth to the lie we had been fed our entire lives. That we were born to rule."
Loki began pacing around the cell, Mother keeping a hawk eye on him.
"To rule? A true ruler admits their faults. What of the lives you took on Earth?" I struggled with the fact that I was responsible for a death toll but we did what had to be done.
"A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself." Loki bit back at her.
"Your father-"
"HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" Loki's voice echoed around the cell, making me jump and Mother's eyes widen.
Her bright blue eyes shifted from anger to sadness. Seeing them filled with sorrow seemed so unnatural. "Then am I not your mother? Is Astrid not your sister?"
I hadn't expected to be brought into this and my eyebrows furrowed, waiting for a response. There shouldn't have been a tense silence. The answer should've been clear. I am his sister and Frigga is his mother.
But he hesitated and my heart shattered.
"You're not," Is all he said.
After everything.
Mother put a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't tell if she was comforting me or herself. She wasn't expecting him to say that either.
"Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself." My mother's eyes were glossy with tears and for the first time, I hated my brother.
Loki sent my mother away with a wave of his hand and the two of us fell into a thick silence.
I didn't know what to say or do but before I could decide, my throat became tight and my eyes began to sting.
"Did you mean it?" I asked after what felt like hours of silence. I risked looking up at my brother, my eyes undoubtedly red and my cheeks slick with tears.
He looked down at me and a wave of regret passed over his face. I had never felt the urge to break our promise about me reading his thoughts but I almost did in that moment. I needed to know what he felt.
"I-"
"Princess," A strong voice spoke from behind me. I knew who it was immediately. When I turned to look at Rune, he kept his gaze straight, refusing to look at me. "Follow me."
I looked between him and my brother. When I realized Loki wasn't going to answer to question with Rune here, I turned my back and followed Rune out of the cell.
The soldier didn't speak to me and didn't look at me. It's not like I expected any less after our last meeting in New York. For a moment before I left Asgard with Loki, I thought there was something more between me and Rune. Whatever might have been there is surely gone now and I didn't know if I was upset about it or not.
I think I was.
"Get changed, the clothes are on your bed," He told me as we approached my bedroom chamber. "Come out after you are finished."
I nodded and pushed my cracked door open with my shoulder. The smell of my perfume mixed with my favorite candle hit me first. My room had been untouched.
On my bed was a dark red gown and silver shoes. I put it on and let my body get used to the cool silk before brushing my hair and sliding on the shoes.
I caught a glimpse of myself in my floor-length mirror. A small bruise adorned my cheek from the battle as well as a small scrape on my arm. There was something dimmer about my appearance and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Was this what defeat looked like?
After staring at my reflection for an unhealthy amount of time, I met Rune back out in the hallway. He scanned me but still refused to let his blue eyes meet mine. I hated this feeling. Being shunned.
"Your father-" He began but something caught my senses.
"Stop."
"You are not the one giving orders here." He turned to me, his eyes meeting mine for the first time.
I shake my head. "No, stop." I put a finger toward the ceiling, telling him to listen.
A small humming siren was blaring outside of the castle walls. It was muffled but definitely there.
His head shot back up at me. "Come with me, princess. We need to find your father."
The two of us began to run through the corridors of the palace. We passed troops of soldiers, their armor clanging as they hurried to different locations. I stayed closely behind Rune as he led us to my father.
"Your Highness," Rune said, slowing his pace, slightly out of breath. I looked around at the throne room. Bodies of Asgardian soldiers as well as... I squinted my eyes at the strange creatures.
And then it hit me. It was the elves from Svartalfheim.
Odin glanced up at him from his conversation with another group of soldiers. "Ah, Rune." Relief flooded my father's voice. "The queen is in her chambers. Take Astrid to her."
Rune nodded and grabbed my arm, dragging me away hastily. I tried ripping my arm from him but he only tightened his grip. Questions flooded my mind as we ran. Why were the dark elves here?
We reached my mother's chambers. The golden doors reach high, carved with my mother's favorite scene of mythology.
"Astrid!" Thor's panicked voice reached me. Rune let go of me as I turned to him. "They're going to kill mother!"
Dizziness hit me. Everything became a blur as instinct took over my senses. My body slammed into the heavy golden doors. Pain shot through my shoulder but it was quickly ignored. The doors flew open. I couldn't make sense of the scene I was watching.
My mother was being held up by a strange beast and there was a sword in her back. There was a sword in her back.
The world around me began to spin and everything went silent. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of my mother's body collapsing to the polished floor.
At that moment, I could see red. At that moment, I felt like I needed to burn down the entire universe. Revenge. I needed revenge.
A scream tore from my throat at the same time my brother summoned lightning and struck the elf standing beside the beast who killed Mother. Thor attempted to chase them down as I ran to Mother.
"Mother!" I cried, my voice raw from the relentless tears. Her beautiful blue gown was stained with crimson. Her golden chest plate did nothing to stop the sword that pierced right through it.
I cradled her heavy head in the crook of my arms, her reddish brown hair draping across my lap. "Mother, please," I sobbed. "Please, I need you." My body shook as my breaths came ragged and in gasps. My lungs couldn't get enough oxygen.
Blood began to form at the corners of her mouth. I kept praying to the ancestors for a breath. Any sign of life. Anything.
I looked up from the spot on the floor, warm tears covering my cheeks, my mouth agape. My blue eyes met my father's.
I've seen many emotions in my father's eyes. Disappointment, anger, happiness. But I have never seen utter despair. Many things can be said about the All-Father but no one could deny his love for his queen.
He knelt next to me and grabbed her hand. I moved and passed her to my father who took my place without hesitation.
Thor came up behind me and pulled me up. But when he didn't let me go, I realized he wanted a hug. Thor was never one who needed comfort. Immediately, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He rubbed my back and I could hear his small sniffs from above me.
For three hours, Odin stayed glued to that same spot, refusing to let go of her. That day, my father lost the last piece holding him together.