"Tav?" Wyll broke the silence first. "Are you alright?" They sat beside one another on a log past the tree line so far from the light of the party that all Tav could see was the reflection of the moon on his dark eyes.
What could Tav answer? I think I'm losing my mind. Thanks for asking! Or how about, Oh you know, just thinking about the time I helped kill a helpless tiefling just for Astarion to bring them back as a spawn and now I have to see them every day in my own home.
The weight of the unsaid words push Tav into an exhausted slouch. "I'm going to be." They sigh and rub their palms on their pants. "I'm so sorry for ruining the party. Astarion was right. I should have skipped the wine."
Tav mentally counts the glasses they'd had. A glass with Minsc, another that they only had a few sips of before throwing into the sea, and one with Gale and Shadowheart. "My tolerance must have gone down." Tav shakes their head.
"Happens to the best of us... but that's not what I was talking about." Tav can feel him shuffling next to them. Fallen leaves crunch under his feet as he readjusts his posture. The night feels oppressive but it's a relief to not be directly observed for the time being. "Tav... Karlach and I are worried about you." So Jaheira was talking about Wyll and Karlach at the beach. "And tonight you've been-"
"I know." Tav cuts him off. They feel like they are sinking into liquid shame. The shadowy trees surrounding them seem close in as if they too feel the weight on Tav's soul. "I know I've been... crazy."
"That's not what I was going to say either." Wyll reasures quickly, his voice laced with concern and understanding. For a moment they sit quietly. Everytime Tav blinks they see her, Kyus, crawling away. Tav can see the way her eyes rolled and feel her body spasming against theirs. Tav grips the log beneath them and digs their fingernails in, pulling at the splintering wood until it hurts and the visions fade back into the darkness.
"Karlach said something about soldiers that can't forget the battlefield, is that what's happening to you?"
"I don't know, Wyll. I was never like the rest of you. You all were heroes and adventures before the tadpole; I was just a healer's secretary." Tav shrugs and sighs."I saw a lot of death, but it was never my fault, and the killer was most often a fever or drowning." Tav smooths their hair only to grimace at the wood splinters that fall from their palm to their face.
"No. I mean, sometimes I have nightmares, real as life, about what happened in Reithwin when I got separated from the group. Getting lost in the shadow curse." Tav pauses remembering the choking, suffocating weight of the Shar's curse. "But, it's not all the time, and I almost never think about any of the fights we got into. There were so many I became numb to them after a while."
"I had thought perhaps this is why no one has managed to contact you. That you'd become so consumed by our adventures that you were choosing to isolate yourself." Wyll's voice carries a hint of hurt, though he's trying to conceal it.
"Not that I would hold that against you of course. However such matters are easier to handle with friends than alone. Since that's not the case though, can you tell me what is wrong? We- Karlach and I, we're your friends and we stand by you." Tav can't hear the crickets or the music from the party. It's as though the night itself is listening for their answer.
Tav looks into the points of light that reflect off Wyll's eyes. "I-I can't." Tav feels like they might cry again if they aren't careful. Their voice is vulnerable and they try to hold it steady. "It's complicated, Wyll, and if I told you the truth..." Tav is rocking slightly and takes a steadying breath. "you wouldn't be so quick to call me a friend."
"Nonsense. Tav, whatev-" Wyll begins, but he stops suddenly, his head turning sharply in the direction of the party and Tav can hear what distracts him. The sound of shouting carries clearly from the direction of camp and they both leap to their feet. A deafening bang splits the night like thunder and without hesitation Tav and Wyll break into a sprint.
They barrel through the dense trees towards the sounds of the fight. Had the party been ambushed? Who would even know they were here? Wyll's foot snags on a hidden branch and Tav catches him by the back of his vest as he tumbles. The forest floor beneath them is uneven, but Wyll regains his stride after a few stumbling steps.
More shouting. "Go fuck yourself!" Karlach's voice reverberates as Wyll and Tav break though the tree line not far from the group they had left just minutes before. Karlach is cradling her shoulder. The panther beside her, who Tav recognizes as one of Jeheira's wild shapes, hisses and takes a swipe at Astarion. Astarion is half crouched, bloody dagger in hand.
Shadowheart has summoned a glowing greatsword. "Get out of my way, Halsin!" She shouts at the burly druid who stands between her and Astarion, one hand extended towards each, clearly attempting to prevent further escalation.
Wyll sprints towards Karlach, shock and concern etched on his face as he tries to examine her shoulder. However, she keeps her other hand clamped tightly over the injury, blood seeping from between her fingers.
"Astarion!" Tav yells, cutting through the chaos. "What the fuck did you do?" The sound of their raised voice shocks Astarion enough that he takes his eyes off Shadowheart and Jaheira who also thankfully seem to temporarily stand down.
"The fucker stabbed me!" Karlach spits through clenched teeth, her face contorted in pain.
"Ah, there you are, darling." Astarion says glowering at Tav. He slides smoothly into a more collected posture and his face takes up his carefully practiced mask. "I hate to end the, no doubt thrilling, night you had airing out our laundry to anyone who would listen to you." Tav's stomach sinks. "But we are leaving now." His tone leaves no room for debate and yet...
"You stabbed Karlach?! What's wrong with you?" Tav shakes from head to toe weather from fear or adrenaline they can't tell. They clench their fists and glare into his eyes with as much conviction as they can muster. "You can't just stab people, Astarion, and especially not my friends! What- why would you do that?"
Shadowheart speaks first. "Karlach said you should come stay with me and Gale for a little while and he lost it." she shoots another glare at Astarion.
"Thank you, Shart. If I need your help answering, I'll ask for it." Astarion snipes back at her and then redirects his gaze back to Tav. "Thanks to your dramatics, dearest, these idiots are planning to steal you from me." He narrows his eyes and snarls at the group. "But they're mine, and I'll kill the next person who tries to come between us."
Tav looks around angrily at the gathered group. "All this and no one thought to ask what I want? Just thought you'd decide for me?" Shadowheart blushes, and under the pain evident on Karlach's face, there's a hint of embarrassment.
"There." Astarion says smugly. He holds a hand out for Tav to take but they step away.
They bare their teeth in a snarl at him. "No. I'm a person, Astarion, not an animal to be stolen or kept. I'm a person, damn it, and I'm tired of you treating me like I'm not."
Tav can't stop shaking, the intensity of the night coursing through their veins. Horrified at their own words, knowing how angry he'll be, but never more sure of anything in their life. Tav looks at Karlach then to Shadowheart and Gale. "It's a good idea. I want to come stay with you Shadowheart, if you'll have me."
A small relieved laugh escapes Shadowheart and she nods. "Yes, of course."
"Don't be stupid, darling." Astarion says in a low, dangerous voice. "You're a person, and your person belongs to me, that was the deal. Now, you will return with me to our palace" Every word is carefully enunciated and spoken painfully slow. "one way or another."
Tav gulps but stands straight, their breathing shallow and body tense. They shake their head, taking another step back. "I'm not going with you." For a moment, Tav can see hurt and betrayal flicker across Astarion's face as his lips press together.
Astarion's eyes flash, a mixture of frustration and anger. "Have it your way." He hisses. A portal opens on the beach with an electric crackle. Its purple light illuminates him from behind but it's far enough away. Maybe I can fight him long enough... to what?
"Come." Astarion commands, his voice wrapped in the authority of his compulsion. The now familiar feeling tightens around Tav, pulling them forward as if by a leash. They writhe as they fight it, but slowly one foot at a time they move forward all the same.
The night erupts into chaos. The fragile truce shatters in an instant. Shouts echo through the air, too many to make sense of. Amidst the confusion, someone shoves Tav, and their head bounces off the ground. Stars pop before their eyes, and they blink rapidly as they regain their footing.
The campsite is a whirlwind of movement, and Tav's eyes focus on Astarion just as Jaheira bites down on his leg. She tugs back, and he starts to fall, only to vanish in a puff of red mist and reappear on the other side of the campfire.
"You all think you can defeat the Vampire Ascendant!" Astarion's laughter rings out, a manic edge to his voice. His eyes are wild, and his usually perfect hair falls lankly over his forehead. "Come, my dear, it's us against the world." Tav's body reacts to his words, and they stand back to back with him, holding a fistful of conjured flame aloft.