I was busy having an actually good morning, hanging out with the wildlife around the movie set. Y'know, the birds, and the deer, and the racoons, and all that stuff. They were fine going about their business around me. Unfortunately, and I don't wanna name names here, but LINDSAY started horribly belting out her favourite song, which scared them all away.
I wasn't happy.
"Oh, come ON! I was finally getting it!" I exclaimed, spreading out my arms, while still sitting on the ground.
Normally, it's the bears that hang around me! Not the non-domesticated, peaceful animals!
With a groan, I sat up, and began to walk over to the girls' trailer, trying to block out her horrible singing. P.S, it wasn't working.
♪ OOH, YOUR FACE! OOH IN MY GLANDS! ♪
Wait, your what-?
♪ OO-OO-OOH! IT'S YOU, AND ME! AND YOU AND ME MAKES. . . WE! ♪
I furrowed my brows, seeing Lindsay, in her towel, heading for the same trailer I was. I swiftly followed her, in an attempt to shut her up.
♪ YOU, AND ME-EE-EE-EE! LIKE BUTTERKNIVES, WE'RE FREE! FREE-EE-EE-EE! ♪
I headed through the door, and raised my voice at Lindsay. "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT IT?!" I groaned, and put my index finger on the bridge of my nose in an attempt to calm myself down. "It's. . . it's 'like butterflies', not 'butter knives'. Okay?" Courtney followed my correction up. "That's right. And, everybody knows you picked Duncan last night for your movie reward challenge last night as retaliation. The murder mystery challenge is over, so you can STOP massacring that song!"
Lindsay naively followed with a new retaliation. "I'm not mascararing anything except my eyelashes, Courtney." I walked over to Lindsay, who was doing her eyelashes in the mirror, and lowered my voice. "She means making a mockery." "Oh! Uh. . . what's that other thing you said I did?" Beth walked up, beside Courtney. "Guys! Can't we try to get along?" "Stop playing dumb, Lindsay!" Courtney ordered, but that was followed with. . . you guessed it.
♪ OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH! LIKE BUTTER KNVIES, WE'RE FREEEEE! ♪
I narrowed my eyes, and retreated back to Beth and Courtney. "She's not playing. She's really dumb. It's actually pretty sad." I spoke quietly, so that she wouldn't be offended. Lindsay, on the other hand, continued to sing, and scared off, pretty much, every animal in the province, I assume.
♪ YOU, AND ME! MAKES. . . ME-EE-EE! ♪
I could just tell that Duncan and Harold were having a hard time. So, naturally, I went to go check up on them, too. I walked over to the boys' trailer, and went inside. "How're you holding up, with Angourie Rice in there?" I pointed in the opposite direction. Duncan, in response, groaned in both annoyance and pain.
"Argh! Three hours at the movie with that girl last night, and now this! I'm gonna go and stick a fork in my eye to relieve the pain. . ." He said, walking past me. I grabbed his hand, and pulled him back. "Not so fast, Danger Mouse. You can do that after the challenge, when I don't have to worry about you." I let go of his hand, and walked out the door, to be met with Dad, Chef, and a drum set. Guess who was playing the drums.
Everybody else soon followed suit, and they gathered out, alongside me. "Nice of you to join us." "Oh, ha-ha." I scoffed, but it was ignored. "Today's movie genre is. . . drum roll please!" I raised a brow as the drum roll went on for quite an annoyingly long time. Dad seemed to think the same. "Okay, we know! The spotlight's not big enough for the both of us. Today's movie genre is. . ." Just to spite him, Chef played the drums again, which earned a glare from Dad.
"The rock n' roll biopic!" Harold was the last one to come out of the trailer, but he heard 'rock and roll', and went absolutely crazy over it. I mean, like, 'push me and Duncan aside to play the air guitar' type of crazy. God, without Owen or Justin here, I don't think I can go on for much longer hanging around these two.
/// Duncan ///
"Rock n' roll biopic? Normally, I would've been stoked, but I have a rocking headache from Lindsay-palooza last night! Gah, why did Lewis have to leave so early?! I'd actually be fine if he'd have stayed!"
/// End ///
Lindsay raised her hand, still holding, for some reason, a bag of popcorn from last night. "Is a biopic kind of like a toothpick? Because, um, I could use one right now. I've got popcorn stuck right there. . ." I glanced her way, giving her a look that meant 'shut up', mainly because I was already sick of her from last night, not to mention this morning's large event.
"Shut up! Popcorn down!" Dad said, pointing both up and down. With a pout, Lindsay but the bag onto the ground, and shrugged, clearly not understanding what was wrong with her. "Any good rock n' roll biopic starts with a kid from humble beginnings, drawn into the seemingly glam world of rock music. After overcoming enormous hardship, the kid gets a break, and makes it ginormous. Bigger than me, even!"
At Dad's words, Duncan elbowed me jokingly. I furrowed my brows at him, holding back the punch I was about to throw into his gut. "Anywho, the kid is then drawn into a scandalous world of stuff, that I'm not allowed to talk about with seventeen-year olds. Things that lead to dangerous addictions, multiple divorces, and the occasional night in the joint."
"Also the fact this is feeling a little too relatable." I muttered, rolling my eyes.
"Please do not try any of the aforementioned at home, or I will be sued, and would be unable to afford the maintenance of this fabulous smile."
"A few things that any certifiable rock god needs to know, that I CAN talk about. . . you need to know how to rock out on the guitar, work the paparazzi, and trash a hotel room. Haha, yeah! Any questions?" There weren't any, um. . . until Lindsay had one. "Uh, yeah. Why is Owen eating my popcorn?"
I quickly turned my head in doubt, to see that Owen was actually here. "Hey, everybody!" I had just about the same reaction as everyone else. "OWEN?!" Dad frowned, and yelled in a hushed voice. "Owen, you were supposed to wait for your cue. What is actually wrong with you?!" "Well, um. . . I was hungry! And, when I'm hungry, I. . . I forget everything other than what my tummy is telling me!"
/// Owen ///
"My tummy and I are really close. We'd be even closer if it weren't for my chest."
/// End ///
/// Lewis ///
"Wait a sec, I- WHAT?! Owen's, like. . . actually back?! It's not just me?! I- I can't believe this! I literally thought about Owen earlier this morning! What the hell?!"
/// End ///
Owen continued to eat Lindsay's bag of popcorn, until Dad suddenly raised his voice at him. "OWEN! Get lost, until I give you your cue!"
Woah! That was harsh. . .
He paused for a second, before running off. Dad cleared his throat, so he could actually do what he wanted to do. "I have an announcement to make. Because I'm the host, and can do whatever I want, I've decided to bring someone back to the show. Anyone guess who that might be?" He asked. I raised my hand, but was met with denial. "Anyone but you.
Lindsay gasped, and excitedly answered. "Is it. . . what's the name of that boy I liked again? Tyler?"
. . . Who?
"Agh! I can't take it anymore!" Courtney exclaimed, and that's when Owen came running back with the bag of popcorn again. "Hi, everyone! I just can't help myself." Dad glared at him, but Owen ignored it, and began hugging everyone.
. . . Oh, crap. Wait a second. Wait a second! I don't think Owen got what happened! Or, uh, did Izzy tell him? Uh. . . no, he's, like, way too upbeat right now. There's no way he knows. Thank God for that.
He hugged Lindsay, Beth, but missed out Courtney. "Yay, Owen!" "Hi, Owen!" Everybody was greeting him, but Courtney was, like, literally the only unhappy one that he was back. "Hey, man!" Duncan said, fist-bumping him. Owen proceeded to hug all three of us, even though I wasn't the most. . . 'touchy' person in the world. "Good to have you back!" "'Sup, dude?"
Seeing everyone's reactions to Owen's return, Dad rolled his eyes with a groan. "Fine, Owen. Fine." Courtney wasn't happy, though.
Be honest. Is she ever?
"Hello?! Not fine! No way Owen is allowed back! I had to file a lawsuit to get back on this show. I'm contacting my lawyers!" She said, pulling out her PDA, but Dad had a back-up plan for her whining. "You're not the only one with lawyers. Owen also filed a lawsuit, and won! His jaw was busted by Chef, and he was unfairly kicked off the show. That good enough for you?" Hesitantly, Courtney put down her PDA with a cold stare.
/// Owen ///
"I didn't really file a lawsuit. I'm back because my mom spent $50, 000 we don't have! That kind of put the family in a big hole. . . so. . . Chris offered me fifty big ones to come back, and stir up the doo-doo!" He nervously gulped, and fiddled with his fingers. "I don't wanna cause any trouble, because Lindsay and Beth and Duncan and Harold and Lewis are my friends! . . . Oh, and. . . Courtney's okay. I. . . guess."
/// End ///
"Alright, people. Time for your first big gig! Meet me at Big Stadium in ten minutes. You can't miss it!" Chris and Chef both walked off, which left everybody else to walk there themselves.
*
I knew where to go, but I stayed at the back of the line, just 'cause this walk was pretty nice, and chilled out, in contrast to the other parts of today's movie flick. I mean, yeah, sure, I got distracted once or twice, or. . . a lot. . . with the two mice in my jacket pocket, but I kept up!
"Where did Chris say the stadium is again?" Beth asked, looking around. "Oh, he didn't." I responded, looking up from Mabel and Mani. "Aw, he's so gonna kill us! We are so late!" Courtney worriedly said, looking back at Harold. Owen, for some reason, had only just noticed I had two mice. "Woah, you still kept DJ's pet? Even after you yelled at him when he got eliminated?"
"Wait, wha-? Oh, uh, ha! Yep! She's, uh. . . really grown on me, I can't lie. I've got some kinda thing with DJ's pets. They all really like me, for some weird reason." I shrugged at my explanation, and stupidly, it took them ages to understand that the 'Big Stadium' was the Gilded Chris ceremony.
*
"I said ten minutes, not ten hours!" Dad said, quickly checking his watch. "You also said to meet you at the Big Stadium. This is the Dumpy Gilded Chris Awards Theatre." Duncan argued back, glancing around. "Right. That's the point?" I commented, tilting my head at him. "Where you might get dumped! Not bad. First step to becoming a rock legend, is to show up late for your own show."
Dad said, nodding his head. However, he suddenly stopped when he heard eating again. "What's with all the eating?! We told you, no outside food!" He reprimanded Owen, who was literally only trying to enjoy a sub without getting yelled at. Dad then turned to Chef, and I kid you not, asked this: "Didn't you strip search 'em?" Fair to say, neither me or Chef had planned anything like that response.
"For your first challenge, you're going to be rocking out on the guitar." Dad said, while Chef walked off to get supplies. "But. . . I don't know how to play the guitar! Is it anything like the recorder? Because. . . I can play the recorder." Lindsay said, shrugging at the instruction.
"Oh, yeah, it's a lot like the recorder!" Dad said, but I stepped in with the truth. "Only, like, it's completely different." "Right. Since I'm guessing most of you can't read, let alone read MUSIC, you'll be playing a guitar-shaped peripheral. The notes will be represented by coloured notes on the screen, which corresponds to your guitar. You'll play simultaneously, during which you'll be eliminated."
I didn't see how this was unique, so I brought it up. "So. . . you're basically having them play Guitar Band 9?" I asked, folding my arms at him. "Uh. . . no. . . ?" With a raise of my brow, he released a sigh. "Okay, yes. But, uh, there's a twist! Every time you play a wrong note. . . " He imitated an electric shock, which caused the contestants to gasp. "You mean, you're going to electrocute us?!" Beth asked in shock, but Dad put on a fake innocence act. "Me? Electrocute you? Of course not!"
Satisfied, everyone settled down. Until he continued talking. "The guitar will electrocute you!" Everybody gasped, and Dad found it fairly entertaining. "But, don't worry, you'll live! Though, you may never be able to play the piano again." "I can't play the piano anyway." Lindsay commented. "Right, okay, but. . . uh, you can't use the phone, either." I said, causing her to gasp, and scream.
"Nice." "Thank you." Me and Dad fist-bumped, both smirking.
/// Courtney ///
"I used to play in an all-girl rock band in school, called 'The A Type Psychotic Crazies'. Unfortunately, we broke up before our first gig. Apparently, you can't start a band with five leads, and no back-up."
/// End ///
"Are you ready to ROCK out?!" Dad excitedly asked, and Harold shared the enthusiasm, surprisingly. "For those about to rock, I salute you!" He said, and turned to Duncan, who was very, very, very mundane about it. "Bite me." "And, rock on!" "Aaand. . . I'm out." I turned on my heel, and proceeded to walk away. "Nice try. C'mon, put some effort into being here!" Dad said, forcefully, but gently, stopping me from leaving.
I glanced to the stage, showing an expression of both cringe and unenthusiasm. But, I sighed, and dropped the expression, before replacing it with a bored one. "Fine." I sat down in one of the chairs, and hesitantly watched everyone either try too hard, or try too little. "Oh, would you look at that? Harold's on fire!"
At first, I thought Dad was just exaggerating, until I, like, actually looked at Harold, and saw his guitar was steaming up from how much he was trying. "Oh, you're being serious. His guitar is actually on fire." I commented, widening my eyes a bit. After a few seconds, his guitar literally caught on fire in an explosion, and he began to freak out.
"Water! Water!" Chef ran onto the stage with a bucket of water, and it both failed and succeeded in doing its job. I mean, sure, it put out the fire, but it also short-circuited Harold's guitar. "Shoot." He commented, completely drenched. Owen was busy shifting backwards, and didn't notice the fact he was edging closer and closer to the stage. So, obviously, he fell off in a matter of seconds. "Ouch! Well, that's two down, three to go!"
Duncan was incredibly unenthusiastic about the challenge, only pressing every tenth note, glancing to the side every now and then. Lindsay wasn't even playing her guitar, because she was too concerned about the colour of the guitar. "Do you have one in red? This one doesn't really go with my outfit." She got her response, which was a long, electric shock. Beth wasn't playing fast enough, so that had it's own consequence.
About now, it was Courtney and Duncan, battling it out for the win. I get how she played behind her head, and on her knees, but what really stumped me. . . was how she played with her TEETH. Like, mouth, and everything. And she still hit EVERY. NOTE. . . playing with her TEETH. "Oh, you're joking me." I commented, furrowing my brows at the contrast between Courtney's effort, and Duncan's effort.
"Wow, that girl can rock!" Harold commented, and the losers had all moved off stage, to give the final two some room. "WOO-HOO!" Owen cheered, but I think this was actually rigged. I mean, Duncan was trying a little harder, but he was missing nearly every note, still. I mean, Courtney was practically sweating from how much she was trying to win this first part of the challenge, and it was really starting to get embarrassing. Duncan was just doing the bare minimum, and somehow still succeeding in avoiding the electric shocks/
Suddenly, he freaked out, and smashed his guitar, which made both Courtney and the music stop playing. I blinked in slight confusion, before leaning back in my chair. "Nice one, Duncs. You broke it." He smirked, clearly having no remorse. "Oops. Sorry." "Impressive. Both of you. But, the winner is. . ." Pause.
. . . Hence the drum roll.
"Duncan!" Dad announced, and Courtney immediately got angry "What! I hit every note! And, I played behind my head, and on my knees, and with my TEETH!" "Yes. Yes, you did." I nodded, unenthusiastic about her whining. "But, you tried way too hard, and if there is one thing rock stars don't do. . . it's try. Even a little! You saw Duncan."
Oh. So. . . I'm guessing Duncan knew that.
"Yes! He played every tenth note, and broke his guitar afterwards!" Duncan was smirking at Courtney while she complained. "Exactly!" Dad said, which made Courtney shut up almost immediately. Seeing his chance, Duncan decided to tease Courtney. "Watch and learn, baby doll. Maybe one day, you'll be able to rock as hard as me."
At that point, Courtney narrowed her eyes, and swung her guitar directly into Duncan's nuts. Obviously, it earned a scream of pain from him. Before he could fall, I ran over and caught him, while Dad calmly walked over without a care. "Is that hard enough, baby doll?" Courtney responded, smirking evilly at his pain. "You've got issues! What the hell?!" I exclaimed, widening my eyes at her.
"We'll be right back, as soon as Courtney cools down with a hot bath, and Duncan gets his rock, back in his roll." I huffed, and walked away with Duncan, scoffing at my dad's negligence.
*
The second part of the challenge was to do with paparazzi, and despite how much I hated being in the spotlight of any situation, I still took part. Of course, I made a deal, because I'm not gonna make myself uncomfortable for nothing. So, I'm at the finish line, where literally nobody can take photos of me.
Dad stepped out of the limousine in his iconic blue suit, and proceeded to explain the next challenge. "Welcome back to the rock n' roll biopic edition of Total Drama Action! Now, in order to become a true rock immortal, you must know how to work the paparazzi. The first part of your second challenge is an obstacle course of fans, photogs, groupies, and autograph hounds."
They were all just a bunch of cardboard cut outs, so. . .
Duncan will have fun with those, I bet.
"You'll start at the lame-ousine, walk up the red carpet, past the obstacles, and finally backstage. One of you will win. The rest will be celebrity road kill! Duncan, for winning the first challenge, you get our backstage pass. So, you'll start halfway." It was one of those, like, famous people tags that they wear around their necks.
/// Duncan ///
"Too bad this isn't a real backstage pass. Looks the part. . . 'All access membership, buff and tone spa'?!" He widened his eyes after reading what the thing said, before glancing up at Chris, who had entered in nothing but a towel. "Yeah, I'm gonna be needing that back after."
/// End ///
"Okay, Courtney, you're up first." The door of the lame-ousine opened, and Courtney came sprinting out at the words, 'action'. She dodged the first cut out guy, which earned some commentary off of Dad. "The paparazzi! Good manoeuvring." She came to the lady with the paper, and paused. "Autograph hound! Will she sign?" She signed the paper with a friendly smile, before continuing. "She will! Nice move."
"Ooh! The tricky fan cam attack. Will she make it?" He rhetorically asked, and she. . . kinda did? She smiled for the lady with the camera, but avoided the dude with the camera.
Holy crap! Why is she being so favourable to the women?!
What kinda sexist crap is this?!
"Courtney executes the smile and duck. A difficult combo!" The cardboard cut out of the groupie screamed excitedly, and I could've sworn I'd heard that girly squeal before. Anyway, Courtney ran straight past the groupie without a care in the world, even having the gall to give her a back-handed wave. ". . . Followed by a back-handed wave to the groupie!" The cardboard cut out of a guy holding a bag came up, and Courtney politely grabbed it, much to my annoyance.
"And a clean, swag, bag grab. Nice!" Then, this waiter came up, and Courtney was prepared to take a sandwich from him, until she decided not to, and ran past him. "No canapé for this celebrity! The final obstacle. . . the fat!" In 'Chris' terms, that was the bouncer for backstage.
Please don't let her through, please don't. . .
"Do you KNOW who I am?!" She ordered to the bouncer, and that was that. She got through the door, and happily cheered for herself. "Smoking with an A-list attitude! Nice moves, and good call in grabbing the swag. Lucky for you, you get to keep what's inside." I chuckled as she realized that it was only ONE of my dad's autobiographies. "My autobiography. Volume One."
P.S. There's, like, seven volumes, and he's writing another one.
/// Courtney ///
"Ugh! Did you see that swag? The only thing missing was a barf bag with Chris' face on it." Some intern threw an actual barf bag with Chris' face on it onto the desk, which made Courtney gag. "Ooh- Ew! Gross!"
/// End ///
"Duncan, you're up!"
Oh, this should be fun. Let me get a load of this!
Dad continued to explain the rules, in his scenario. "Remember. You get to skip the lame-ousine, and half the red carpet. And. . . ACTION!" Duncan ran off, and was faced with a cardboard cut out of a lady and the other guy. "Tricky fan cam attack. What's the boy going to do?" Duncan spat out onto the floor without a care, and slapped the camera out of the other guy's hand. "Ooh, nasty! Pop goes the weasel!"
He came to the autograph hog, and stuck his middle finger up at her, which brought shock to Dad, and some large entertainment to me. "Whoa-! Oh. . . 'kay. . ." Dad wasn't very happy, but I was just giggling to myself at the fact he did that on live television, in front of, like, millions of people. He quickly moved on to the groupie, pulled out a pen, and wrote his number on her stomach.
"And the lady gets the digits! Another knockout!" He stood back up, and mouthed 'call me' to the groupie, before running past her. Courtney glanced to the side in a hidden form of jealousy, which was obvious to me. He paused in front of the waiter, before smacking the tray out of his hands, and running forward, to the bouncer. He didn't even say a word. Instead, he jump kicked the bouncer, snapping it in half, and running into the room.
I chuckled, and walked towards him. "Nice one, dude!" We both shared a fist bump, which is about when Dad came in. "Dude, dude. . . Potential lawsuit action with the paps, the fans, and most definitely the bouncer." I decided to compliment Duncan, 'cause that was actually awesome. "On the other hand. . . nice touch giving the groupie your number." "Cool. Whatever!" He walked past me blankly, which caused me to raise a brow.
"Ooh, someone's in a bad mood!" Dad commented, smirking at me. I frowned at him, before rolling my eyes. "Yup. Such a rock star. . ." "Next!"
*
Owen was doing good. . .
"Oh-ho-ho. . . yay!" He happily said, walking forward, blowing kisses at everyone, before turning around, to the paparazzi.
. . . until the first guy.
The camera flashes practically blinded him, and when he attempted to walk forward again, he tripped over, and rolled, like, towards the door, and broke it, somehow. Dad was just as annoyed as I was.
. . . so, um. . .
Chef wasn't too happy about patching the door either. In fact, he seemed like he was done with his job already.
When it was Beth's turn, she ran forward, and looked around, slightly unsure where the paparazzi was, when it suddenly flash bombed her, and due to her shock, she had accidentally caused her glasses to fall off of her face. She couldn't find them, either. So, she laughed nervously, and tried to continue without them. The second paparazzi wasn't helping either, because it was only blurring her vision more.
She spotted the door, and held her hand out so she wouldn't bump into anything, but, when she got to the third paparazzi, well. . . and, I don't know how. . . she tripped over, backwards, and crashed into the second paparazzi, snapping the cut out in half. I groaned, and glanced over at Chef, who was just as unenthusiastic as I was about fixing this.
It was Harold's turn, and I kid you not, it took him three tries to get the 'rock and roll' symbol right. "Rock n' roll! No, uh. . . rock n' roll! No. . . rock n' roll! Yeah! Got it." It was actually sad. When he finally figured it out, he was prepared to walk forward, until Duncan yelled at him. "Get on with it, Doris!" At that name, his eyes filled to the brim with tears, and he ran past every carboard cut out, snapping them in half with nothing but his hand.
He ran to backstage, and immediately clung on to me, sobbing. I wasn't really sure what to do, but I knew that I needed to comfort him, so, uh, I kinda thought about what Leshawna would do. "Oh, Harold, honey. . . it's- it's okay. . . Duncan's just, um. . . trying to get on your nerves."
/// Lewis ///
"Listen, I KNOW how to comfort people, okay?! I just want to say that. But, I don't know how to comfort HAROLD. We barely talk, and he's actually super complicated! So, I thought about what Leshawna would say and do, 'cause she knows everyone way better than me! Hell, she knows ME better than me!"
/// End ///
"Wait, wait a sec! Lindsay, before you go, can I just ask you something?" I brought up, walking towards her. "Sure! What is it?" "I'm literally begging you here, please, do NOT break the cut outs. We don't have enough tape to fix them." ". . . Oh, yeah! Sure!" "God- Thank you, Lindsay. You're the only one that hasn't today."
*
Since that's over and done with. . .
Lindsay did, like, AMAZINGLY well at this challenge! She posed for the paparazzi, was polite with them, and blew kisses while she walked away! With the autograph hog, she happily smiled, and was even enthusiastic about giving her the autograph. When the groupie popped up, she excitedly gave her a hug, and moved on, waving nicely at the two. The guy holding the bag showed up, and she gratefully took it, thanking him.
She took the shirt out of the bag, and gave it to the groupie, moving onto the waiter. She took one of his sandwiches, and ate it without a care, before moving on to the bouncer, caressing him, and kissing him, which caused him to lower down, and let her through. "Yeah!" She clapped, and moved into backstage. "Nice job, Linds! Give me tips sometime, will you?" I joked, walking past her.
My dads were giving each other that 'look' again, so I had to move things along, or else we'd never get through today's final challenge. I took the envelope from a very distracted Chef, and walked towards the contestants. "Right. . . uh, let's see. The moment you've all been waiting for, which is the photographic evidence of your success. Let's see your best shots, shall we?"
I took out all six photos, 'describing' them as I went through them. "Courtney ducks, Duncan socks, Owen tripped, Beth slipped, and, uh. . . Harold. . . if that's not a cry for help, I really can't say I know what is. Finally, Lindsay. . . well, Lindsay actually posed. Which means that we have a winner." Courtney was fully expecting herself to win, so I just had to spite her. "Lindsay!" She gasped, as Lindsay was ecstatic. "YAY!"
"How is that possible?! I did the best job of avoiding the paparazzi!" I scoffed, and placed a hand on my hip. "Girl, who said you were supposed to avoid the photog?! Paparazzi means exposure, OBVIOUSLY, and Lindsay exposed! You know it! Lindsay wins an advantage for the next part of today's challenge, where everybody's gonna compete for invincibility. Cool? Cool."
/// Courtney ///
"I hate, hate, HATE losing! So, when Linds-iot had won, it took all my years of studying transcendental meditation to keep it together." She sighed, and had a very long pause. ". . . AAAAAAAAAAA-"
/// End ///
I noticed that my dads were still giving each other that look. "Hey, C and C! You coming, or not? We've got a challenge, you know!"
/// Lewis ///
"Now, normally, I'd just let them get on with their exchange of flirty looks. But it had never gotten in the way of hosting before! So, I had to take charge. It was the mature thing to do."
/// End ///
Things were actually back on track, and I could relax, while Dad did his hosting bit.
"Finally! The ultimate rock star challenge. Trashing the hotel room. You've got thirty seconds on the clock, with Lindsay getting an additional ten, for having won the first part of the challenge. And. . . action!"
Well, that's what I thought, 'cause I was told to watch everybody break stuff, which, for some reason, in my head, meant that Dad would also be staying. But. . . he ran off, so, I guess not.
People weren't really doing well at breaking things. If anything, they were doing badly. Harold tried breaking a phone, but he was only smacking it off a desk, like, super weakly. He grunted as he tried, but it still wasn't breaking. Beth glanced around, before pushing a photo frame of Dad in his blue suit off the side table.
"Beth, we had nowhere to put that. You weren't supposed to break that." I commented, folding my arms. "Oh. Sorry! Um. . . how about this?" She tipped a lamp backwards, and instead of falling off the table, it smashed into the mirror behind it. With a quick nod, I responded. "Better."
Owen turned to the big sofa behind him, and tried picking it up, but instead ripped a cushion off of it. Strangely, he was more happy about the fact he found some pennies, rather than the fact he broke something. He happily laughed, and pocketed the coins.
/// Owen ///
He was counting the pennies in his hand. "Three. . . four. . . five. Five pennies! Only five million, nine hundred and ninety four more, and I'll pay off the cheese cellar, which will get me out of do- do- doing duty! How am I going to betray my own friends?" He gasped as he looked at the ground. "SIX! SIX PENNIES! Wait-! And a peanut. This day just keeps getting better and better!"
/// End ///
Lindsay was completely off-track, having fun, jumping on the bed while laughing. Owen laughed, and walked over, watching her. "Haha! That looks like fun!" He ran back, to get some speed, and when he ran forward, and jumped on the bed, he landed on TOP of Lindsay.
/// Lindsay ///
Her hair was all messed up. "That was totally scary! I saw my life flash before my eyes. It looked a lot like Owen's butt. . ."
/// End ///
Duncan was busy using a palm tree as a catapult to hurl things against walls, the floor, other things. . . He also threw a television out the window, smashed a few windows, threw a tray of sandwiches out the same window the TV flew out, and hurled the cart that the tray was on. "Nice, dude. Collateral damage done." I said, pointing to the intern that got hit with the metal cart.
I also noticed that Courtney wasn't getting much action. She was just stubbornly standing. Now, normally, I'd be fine with that, but I really, really, REALLY wanted to piss her off today, for no reason in general. So, I naturally did that, with absolutely no fear for my life.
I had lots of fear for my life.
"And, will the lady be participating?" I questioned, leaning closer to her. "Ha! You wish. I'm not damaging anything without my lawyers' consent." She said, folding her arms. I raised a brow, and glanced to the side. "Permission to flip the table?" I whispered into my radio, which I didn't really need that much.
"Knock yourself out."
Dad replied, and I lightly laughed to myself. Putting my hands in my pockets, I turned around, and began walking away. "Well. . . that's your choice, but. . . if you get eliminated again, those lawyers can't protect you against a lawsuit from me, y'know, for. . . attempted murder and negligence." I lowered my voice for those last four words.
She absolutely flipped.
Like, she went bat shit crazy over it.
"YOU CAN'T SUE ME! IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT YOU REFUSED TO GIVE ME THE MILLION!" She got absolutely furious over it, and started smashing everything in her sight. In fact, she was so torn over it that both Dad and Chef had to come back, just to make sure she didn't beat the crap out of me for what I said.
They were worried, but I was just cracking up over it. I wasn't even scared to show how funny I found this. It was absolutely hilarious seeing Courtney flip out again.
She picked up a dresser, and threw it at Duncan, but he swiftly ducked, so it smashed yet another window, and was demolished on impact. She also screamed very loudly several times, while pushing over one of the set walls. She was destroying everything so much, to the point where literally Beth, Harold and Dad backed away from her.
She looked around for something else to destroy, and ultimately decided to snatch a boom microphone from José, one of my favourite interns, and snapped it in half, literally over one of her KNEES. It looked like she had gotten all of her rage out, but I was still uncontrollably laughing at her rage.
/// Lewis ///
I giggled, trying to calm myself down. "Haha! Oh-! Oh my gosh! I can't believe how much I missed seeing that! I missed it so much! Hahaha!"
/// End ///
/// Duncan ///
"Agh! Nothing sharpens my dog collar more than a girl with a ton of attitude! Mm, mm, mm!"
/// End ///
/// Courtney ///
"My meditation teacher would have been so proud." She said, absolutely calm, without a trace of anger.
/// End ///
Well, actually, no. She wasn't finished. She'd picked up the DOUBLE KING BED that Lindsay was on, and held it over her head, while Lindsay was STILL on it, both of them screaming. One of them full of fear, and the other one full of rage.
Unfortunately, that was that, because everybody was out of time. "Time! Lindsay, you now have an additional ten seconds. Go!" Courtney put down the bed in a huff. Lindsay looked around, unsure of what exactly she could break, since the entire hotel set was completely demolished, 80% of it being because of Courtney.
The back wall fell down, and everyone turned to look at it. ". . . I see your predicament. Thanks to Courtney, there's nothing left to destroy, which means. . . Courtney wins invincibility!" She happily cheered for herself, while I was still laughing, but not nearly as much as I was before. So, obviously, Dad was still doing the 'hosting' thing, while I was really enjoying myself. "Now, you've got to decide who gets booted from the band."
*
It had been, like, four hours since the end of the challenge, and everything had finally calmed down, and Courtney was no longer at my neck for threatening her with a lawsuit that I was obviously not going to actually go through with.
Me, Harold and Owen were just taking a stroll through the film lot, since Duncan needed to get some rest from this morning's event. We had to get Owen's stuff from the Craft Services tent, but Duncan wanted to be in peace, of course, so we left him be. "I sure am glad you're back, Owen." Harold said, looking up at Owen. "Yeah, me too. I think I'd have gone crazy if nobody was here to keep the peace." I added, nodding at him.
"Psst. Guys! Over here!" I heard somebody say, and all three of us turned our heads to see that Lindsay and Beth were there. We glanced at each other, before walking over to the girls. "Ladies. . . what's up?" Harold said. "Beth and I have been thinking about who to vote off. Since we can't lose Courtney, we're thinking Duncan." "Wait, what? Why Duncan?!" I questioned, widening my eyes.
"Uh, hello? Did you see how grumpy he was today?" Lindsay asked, before continuing. "Plus, Courtney would never admit it, but she'd go ballistic if he got kicked off." She explained, smiling as if there was nothing wrong with her reasoning. "You don't need to convince me." Harold said, which earned an elbow off me.
"Uh, Harold?! Remember the alliance you PROMISED Leshawna you'd keep?!" I asked, in a hushed voice, as to not let slip to the girls. Owen looked to the side, thinking. "I don't know. I think I'd like to vote for Courtney." Harold brought up the prominent point. "But. . . she has invincibility?"
"I know I'd be wasting my vote, but it's her fault I got kicked off the show. Plus, I don't think she was very nice today." He said, fiddling with his fingers. "I don't think so either, Owen. She pretended. . . um. . . the. . . 'thing'. . . wasn't her fault." I commented, feeling the cold touch of my right arm.
/// Owen ///
"Okay, I know I'm supposed to be stirring up the doo-doo, but I just got here! I haven't even had a chance to put my drawers in my drawers yet!"
/// End ///
"And now, for total drama!" Dad said.
I was honestly convinced to just stop coming to these things. It doesn't matter to me who gets eliminated. Except, it sort of does. I'll see them anyway, but the next Aftermath isn't for a few weeks, and I don't think I could wait that long to see Duncan again.
He's like a big brother to me. . .
"Alright! The Gilded Chris awards go to. . . Courtney, and Beth! Harold, and Owen. . . Only one left. The final Gilded Chris goes to. . . Duncan! Lindsay's going bye bye!" Beth seemed just as confused as I was. "Lindsay?" "But, Lindsay?" She said, about the same time as me. "Harold and I voted for Duncan!" "Not so!" Dad said, which caused me to raise a brow at Lindsay.
"In fact, what happened, is a first for the show. A contestant has accidentally voted themselves off." "Oohh. . . right. . ." I said quietly, remembering how Lindsay looked at Beth, and voted with her eyes shut. "What?!" Lindsay said, standing up. "Take a look! Unlike me, the camera never lies." It just showed how Lindsay pressed her own icon, instead of Duncan's, because she was directly under his.
While everyone else gasped, Duncan happily laughed at the whole scenario. "Lindsay, time for you to say sayonara!" Lindsay raised a brow at Dad, and I raised my voice. "It means goodbye, in Japanese." "Ohh. . ." She said. Beth sighed, and caught up to Lindsay, who was walking away.
"Lindsay, wait! It's all my fault! I distracted you, and now, you've lost your chance at the million." With a smile, Lindsay responded. "Don't worry, Beth. Friends are worth way more than money." Beth seemed to perk up at her words. "Lindsay, that's the smartest thing anyone's said all season." "Really?" She responded, and Beth nodded. "Totally!"
Lindsay continued walking to the limousine, but before she got in, she turned, and spoke to everyone this time. "Bye! But, don't worry, you guys. Saying by isn't so bad, because really, it's just. . . 'hi', but with a 'b'!" She waved to everyone, and got into the car, which drove off. "And on that note, TDA says 'bye' to its foxiest player."
I glanced at Dad in uncertainty for a second, before glancing back to Chef, who had about the same expression as me. "Tune in next time, for another hard rocking episode of Total. . . Drama. . . Action!"
*
[Okay. I am REALLY pumping up the notch of Chris and Chef's relationship, in order for that last challenge episode to REALLY pack a punch to the gut.]
[Also, just wait and see. Lewis is gonna have his moment where he takes control of the situation, and actually stands up to his dad.]