Some nights Im just up thinking, remembering what it was like just a few months ago. I used to be up all night talking with Kestrel, we would talk about the most random stuff but I truly loved her and honestly I wish I could have told my parents because I have no one to comfort me other than people on the internet.
For 150 followers I started redrawing old art that she motivated me to do and actually started crying. Kestrel changed so much after she broke up with me but I just can't seem to accept it despite how bad I want to come face to face with the facts that she changed and its not my fault but right after we broke up she started flirting with some guy right fucking next to me and honestly she then started hanging out with the "cool" kids and made some terrible remarks about some of the things I shared with her .
I just wish she was still with me but what can I do about it, she wants me to kill myself so why should I want her back this bad