♡Tere aane par jaana maine
Kahin na kahin zinda hoon main
Jeene laga hoon main Ab yeh
fizaayein Chehre ko chutti hawaayein
Inki tarah do kadam toh badha le
Sukhi padhi dil ki is zameen ko bheega de♡
Shivani's pov:
We all came back after the movie ended. Abhi had texted Rakshit that he had left and asked him to bring me with him.
I know I hurted him today, but that's what has been on my mind since karwa chauth. I don't want him to feel sorry for me. In fact, disgust and guilt are the last thing I want to see in his eyes for me.
Maa and papa will come back tomorrow. So that means we're the only ones in the house tonight. Rakshit and Ritika bid me good night as we entered the hallway and we all went to our respective room.
When I reached my room, I took a deep breath before opening the door. I don't know whether Abhi was in the room or not.
I carefully entired the room only to find it empty. Feeling disappointed I sat on the bed. Looking at the shining moon in the sky which was visible from the window.
I don't know why I was hoping him to be in the room. I closed my eyes for few minutes being exhausted and by exhausted I mean it mentally.
Emotions are so wired and I being someone who feels everything so deeply it exhausted me even more. Sighing I got up from the bed and opened the cupboard. I took out my medicine to eat before I forgot them.
I don't know how long I will have to depend on these medications, but I am sure one day I will no longer need them.
If we ignore the part how much I hate having them these really helps me to keep my panic attacks and nightmares far away from me.
I took out two red pills from it and keeping the medicine bottle back in the cupboard I went to the drawer next to the bed for the glass of water.
I have keep these medicine away from Abhi because there is no way I want him to find these. As soon as he will see these he will definitely come to know that something is wrong with me.
Then he will ask me reason that why I am taking them and I don't know how I will answer that question.
As I reached the drawer I sat on the bed and poured a glass of water for me. I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed it quickly with the help of the water. Yuck!! it taste terrible everytime.
I was about to keep the glass back when my eyes fell on a paper which was nicely folded and kept on the drawer along with my favorite chocolate.
How had I not noticed this before? keeping the glass back I picked up the paper along with the chocolate. keeping the chocolate on my lap I opened the paper and it was a letter from Abhi.
I couldn't stopped the smile that formed on my lips when I saw that the paper wasn't just a simple paper but he took the extra efforts to give it a vintage look by dipping it in the coffee as I can smell coffee from it.
My eyes fell on the writing which made me realize I have to read it too and taking a deep breath I started reading the letter with a pounding heart
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
There were times when we needed to talk, yet words never came out.There were times when we needed to understand each other yet we didn't may be we didn't know how to. Things got more confusing and complicated with me having my problems and you having yours. I let my anger and hater come in between us throwing us apart.
We didn't believed in us but may be the universe did and thats why it tied us together in this marriage. I am really sorry for all my ill behavior towards you I know it can't be justified but I hope you can forgive me. I wanted to talk to you about all this and ask for your forgiveness but it seemed like I made you more upset and you misunderstood things.
I felt I am such a horrible husband when I came to know that I made it look like I am doing this because of my guilt. But trust me it's not guilt. Whatever happened after karwa chauth made me realize my mistakes. Yes you were right all these changes happened after I saw you suffering because of me.
But it was an eye opening movement for me. I won't lie to you it's still hard for me to trust you completely I have my own insecurities while I am sure you have yours.
But there is no rush. If we try to understand each other and allow each other to slowly work on our flaws I am sure we can get through this.
So..... Mrs Dikshit I am willing to give this marriage a chance and I am assuring you I am not doing it out of guilt or pity but because I really wants it.
If you are ready to give this marriage a chance too then I am here up on the terrace waiting for you.....so run up if your answer is yes I am waiting
Your Abhi :)
°•°•°•°•°•°•°••°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Tears filled my eyes as I couldn't believe what I actually read. I read it once again then twice and thrice until the words sank in my heart.
He was seriously ready to give us a chance. I quickly got up from the bed with the letter and my chocolate ready to run up.
But stop at the mirror just to take a look at my reflection and the smile on my lips through my tears was looking amazing, it was looking genuine. A small laugh escape my lips as the tears fell down my cheeks.
I ran up to the terrace and stopped right at the entrance. Though my step slowed down but my heart kept racing. I took a deep breath and walked slowly towards him who was looking at the moon in the sky.
He must have felt my presence because he turned swiftly making my heart skip a beat.
As soon as his eyes fell on me he whispered "Thank God" and released a breath which be he was holding since long if that's possible.
My steps halted which made him step forward towards me. I couldn't stop the tear which fell from my eyes on his actions.
I know it was a very normal thing but for me this action of his told me that if I ever stop walking towards him he will always walk towards me. It assured me that it's not me wanting this alone but he wants it too.
"You took your sweet time, I thought you will not come." I heard him and looked up only to find him standing not so close not so far from me.
His face has that relief look which we have on our face after our last exam paper. I smiled at him and walked towards the railing of the terrace facing the moon. He followed me quietly and stood beside me waiting for me to say something.
"What would you have done If I would have not come." I asked him playfully raising my eyebrows.
Folding his hands he acted like he is thinking and then after a minute he said "After searching how to give a paper vintage look and how to write a heart touching letter for your wife. My next search history would have been how to impress your stubborn wife. Then I would have given you hundreds of reasons why to give this marriage a chance." Which made both of us laugh.
He sucks at writing letters but I know he did it because I love hand written letters. He is someone who loves to talk face to face so he could read your expression.
while I am someone who love to talk through letters and then keep it safely so I could read them again whenever I want. It's like storing the words of your loved once even if they are abstract.
Silence filled the environment but it was a comfortable one. The cold breeze was blowing camly and everything felt so peaceful.
Then I heard him speak in a serious tone. " I am really sorry shivani I know how I behaved with you was wrong." He said his head low and his voice filled with guilt.
I know how guilty he was even if he is hard to read you could easily see guilt and shame in his eyes these days.
"It's ok, you are sorry and you realized your mistake. Isn't it a big thing I made Mr. Dikshit who hardly apologize to someone realize him mistake." I said with a fake attitude making him laugh a little which made me laugh too.
There was again a pause I guess we both were nervous for some reason. "I still have many questions unanswered but I am willing to give us a chance." He said taking a deep breath.
"sometimes we get another chance to do something right the second time and i dont want to miss this opportunity" He added further.
I nodded my head when he looked at me making him smile a little. I know its going to be tough for both of us. We have to remember that when someone give us a second chance we need to be patient. We can't rush anything.
After whatever happened between us four years back this person right in front of me is brave enough to give us a second chance.
It will be really tough for him to believe me because no matter what the reason was I damaged whatever we were.
But I know one day we will be more then what we were. I turned to look at him and my eyes scanned his face
'My patience have no end when it comes to you. May be someday you will fall in love with me again. May be I will occupy a much deeper place in your heart then I had before and I will wait for you to see the truth.' I though in my mind while he was busy admiring the moon.
"Don't you think today moon will get upset to see you are not admiring him but me." He said playfully making me look away and bite my lips. My cheeks must have turned red and I scolded myself in my head.
"Do you want some chocolate?" I asked pointing towards the chocolate he gave me to get out of the current situation. He shook his head no making my jaw drop.
"Don't tell me you stopped eating them?" I said with a gasp while opening the wrapper of the chocolate. The chocolate was My....no..... our favorite.
Then something happened which left me stunned. As soon the wrapper was gone he bite the unwrapped part of the chocolate which was in my hand making his lips touch my fingers. A slow current traveling down my hands then got lost in my body.
I blinked my eyes trying to understand what just happened. I looked down at my chocolate. As soon the wrapper was gone the chocolate was gone too. With an astonished look I looked at Abhi.
I saw him hiding his smile at my expression and said "kuch bhi accha suru karne se pahle meetha khana chahiye hai na? He asked innocently and I nodded my head as if I was in a magical spell.
(Before starting anything new we should eat something sweet, right?)
(Girl!!!! He ate your chocolate someone please tell her 😑)
I can still feel the current where his lips touched my fingers.
Well what I felt was not less then magical and him giving us a chance is not less then a miracle.
"Let's go to sleep you must me tired" he said looking at me and I nodded following him. God I was so happy no I was on cloud nine.
●♡♡♡♡♡●
In bedroom
I looked at the bed as nervousness filled my body.
"Hey..... what happened ?" Abhi asked as soon as he saw me after coming out from the bathroom. I shook my head as nothing.
"Why are you not sleeping?" He asked wiping his wet hair with the towel.
I looked at the bed and gulped, We are giving this Marriage a chance. That means he have every right to share a bed with me and I can't say no if he wants to share a bed with me.
But the problem is every fiber is my body knows I won't be able to do that. What will I say if he ask me the reason? Will he hate me? What if I get a panic attack? No.... he will be disgusted. Am I ready for that? Will he trust me? What if he leaves me after finding out my Darkest secret?
I was not even able to comprehend one question as second then third then fouth questions kept striking me. My breath was getting abnormal as sweat formed on my forehead.
"Hey shivani are you ok?" I heard Abhi and flinched when he tried to hold my shoulder.
He looked at me as I flinched and stopped where he was. He slowly looked at his hand then at me. While I tried hard not to go though a panic attack.
'God!! no panic attack please.' I know from outside my appearance was normal but there was a Strom going inside me. I fists my hands to control my abnormal breaths.
"Here" Abhi said forwarding a glass of water towards me. While I kept looking at him continuing blinking my eyes. My brain had just stopped functioning.
When i didn't took the glass he took few steps towards me and made me drink the water with his hand.
As soon the water entered my mouth my thoughts stopped and I shut my eyes to calm myself down and then opened them slowly.
I drank the water while he looked at me carefully. "You know shivani even if we are giving this Marriage a chance I won't do anything which will make you uncomfortable. So tell me what made you all nervous? " He asked gently keepingthe glass back. No he can't find out he won't trust me, no one will.
"No...nothing" I said trying to give him a smile. He looked at me for few seconds then walked towards the bed and took his blanket along with his pillow and sat on the floor making me look at him confusingly.
"I told you we don't need to rush things." He said spreading the blanket on the floor and I understood why he was doing that.
"But isn't it wrong....i me....mean isn't it a husbands right to share a bed with his wife." Finally I asked the questions which was eating me since long.
He stopped what he was doing and looked at me with a soft smile. "Yes it is but I don't want any of my rights at the cost of your comfort."
His words touched my heart. My eyes welled up, he was not even aware of the storm inside me yet he managed to calm them down.
"Sleep now I am sure you must be tired" he said getting up from the floor ready to switch off the lights. I nodded at him and went towards the bed ready to sleep.
I lied down and closed my eyes but then something strike me and I opened my eyes to tell him but before I could tell him he himself left one light on not letting the room get completely dark. I smiled as he remembered it and closed my eyes to sleep.
'God please don't let all this be my dream and if it's a dream then don't let me ever wake up' I prayed in my head as sleep overtook me.
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Hey guys here's the next part, I hope you all will like it.
I would like to inform you all that we have crossed 10k reads on Destiny. Thankyou so much everyone for your love and support. I am really greatfull to have you all.
Before going one thing I wanted to tell you all was miracles does happen you just have to believe it. Just like Shivani.
Don't forget to vote, share and do comment because I love reading your comments. So do let me know your views.
That's all for today see you all in the next chapter. Till then take care love you all.