DRAUPADI
I ask my mother-in-law why she's telling me when she didn't tell anyone all this time and her answer scared me more than anything ever. "Because putri, Krishna said one day I will be crying over a dead body and Arjun will ask why I am crying for an enemy. And you will be crying alone, hiding from everyone."
"No, don't say that." I hold my breath.
"And Krishna is never wrong, yet I can only tell this to you and no one else." She cries.
I walked out of her chamber after my mother-in-laws' crazy confession. I should tell them. But who am I to tell when matashree herself, Krishna and pitamah Bishma is not telling. I walk past many chambers, I walk past my chamber too, my feet takes me somewhere else. Malini follows me quietly. I keep walking until I reach the place where no one goes.
My heart hurts for him and I just wanted to give him a hug. When I reach the room in the unfinish, abandoned chamber, I see a man in white dhoti, golden earing, golden chest, his tired eyes looking in my teary eyes. a book in his one hand and a burning tobacco in other. Malini sees him and goes outside. Maybe because of what Matashree Kunti said, or maybe because I want to, I went closer to him.
KARNA
"Maharani! what happened ?" I stands up and keeps the book on the chair i was sitting and put off the tobacco.
"Nothing." she says, her tears fill eyes still terrified.
"Should I send someone to call Maharaj Yudhistir?" I ask in all seriousness.
"They are not back yet." She replies softly, wiping her tears away.
Not knowing what to do I say, "Then why are you here in this unfinish chamber? Your cloths will stink of my tobacco."
"I just wanted to come here." She touch her lose braids, her bangles jiggles.
"Do you want people to think I am hitting on the Queen. Your husbands will kill me." I try to joke looking at her sad face but she didn't like my joke.
She sobs quietly sitting on a chair as I stand like a statue near her. Unable to offer my shoulder or embrace her.
"Draupadi, you shouldn't be here when I am alone." I tells her after she calms down.
"I am not doing anything wrong", she snaps again. Everyone now knows she's quick to angry.
I calmly says, "I didn't say you are."
She ask me sweetly, "Won't you visit us in Khandaprast? And don't listen to Duryodhaan much.."
"I will try not to. But what did Duryodhaan do?"
"Pandu's Son are not bad people."
I couldn't stop myself from getting angry. my voice raised, "Are you here to advocate for your husbands? You really think so little of me. Did I do anything wrong? I watched you get married to 5 of them, and I've been attending most of the function. I am here today also, attending you happy celebration. What else do you want me to do? Should I leave Duryodhaan and say I will be with your cousins now?"
She cries shaking her head, "I didn't mean that." Her voice trails. My heart breaks when she cries, reminds me of the first time I saw her.
I failed to stop myself and removes the hair covering her face, my hands stops at her chin.
As tears roll down her checks she looks at me and say, "If something bad happens to you, I won't be able to hide my sadness."
Understanding she means my death, I assure her, "Don't worry Draupadi, when you mourn my death, I will make sure that you mourn with all your right."
Her siren eyes filled with tears, lips slightly parted, her long tresses makes me week.
"This feels wrong." I say.
She doesn't say anything.
"Maharani?" The girl she came with calls out from outside.
Draupadi took a moment to get up. I watch her as she leave, surely the most beautiful in all land.
The next morning I went to Ganga to pray Surya Narayan. I feel guilty for admiring someone else's wife but damn I don't know if I can stop.